Chapter Text
The atmosphere in the Pitt had been growing substantially more tense as the days drew closer to Dr. Robby’s sabbatical. It started with small things. It began with the Attending arriving and leaving in a bad mood. He would physically tense when anyone approached him. He always answered questions and would help the students and residents, but his responses were clipped. Even Dennis, “the new favorite,” was starting to see a difference in treatment. Before this, the Alpha would frequently lay hands on the Omega resident: steering him with a hand on the shoulder, acknowledging a job well done with a firm squeeze, and always standing close by to watch over Dennis's shoulder. Two days before his sabbatical, the Attending had stopped touching him. He also called on the resident less than he usually would, instead, calling on someone else to join him in one of the trauma rooms.
Dennis had tried everything to regain Dr. Robby’s attention. The past few days Dennis has shown how quick and efficient he could be; he tried answering every question first, if he was even called upon, and his patient satisfaction scores had gone up. He makes sure that he’s always busy, yet, he somehow keeps up with his charting. He attempted to ply Dr. Robby with fresh coffee throughout the day, but even that action got him nothing more than a nod in thanks. Dennis finds that he’s so anxious during the workday, but when he goes home his anxiety roils in his gut relentlessly. Dennis tried not to let it get to him.
It doesn’t help that he now has the two new students following him around like ducklings today. Both betas, Ogilvie and Joy, are driving Dennis up the wall. Joy clearly has no interest in this rotation and it is very obvious in her disposition and attitude. Ogilvie is incredibly book smart, but has literally no social skills when it comes to interacting with the patients. Already, the final day leading up to Dr. Robby’s sabbatical is shaping up to be possibly the worst day yet. From the moment she walked through the doors, the Attending's replacement, Dr. Al-Hashimi, has been trying to change how Dr. Robby does everything. They spent all morning butting heads in front of the entire staff. With the two Attending’s verbally sparring, Dr. Robby doesn’t have much spare time to notice Dennis wilting internally. He thinks he makes a good show of remaining visibly confident. He notices when Dr. Robby stands in the doorway of the patient’s room as Dennis oversees his students. Dennis gets tingles and has to catch his breath when the Doctor offers Dennis a double fist bump. It may not be a hand on the shoulder, but Dennis is elated by the touch nonetheless.
Dennis is brought up short when suddenly he notices the last person he expected to see today. Dr. Langdon. Of course, Trinity had told him everything that happened when they had arrived at their apartment the night Dr. Robby threw Dr. Langdon out. It has been ten months since he has last seen the older man; he didn’t even know if/when the other Resident would be returning. He feels an unsteady churning in his gut. Dr. Langdon came in on the last day before Dr. Robby’s sabbatical. Dennis has always wondered about the older Resident. It was well known that Dr. Langdon was Dr. Robby’s protege, before he was made to leave. Dennis had gotten to see the two interact on his first day. Dr. Robby’s treatment of the older Resident wasn’t much different from the treatment that Dennis himself had been receiving (until recently). It had been so quick and easy, for Dr. Robby to transfer his attention, his steadying touches, from one Resident to the next. Anxiety settles heavy in his chest at that thought. How will Dr. Robby behave now that Dr. Langdon has returned? Will Dr. Langdon be Dr. Robby’s new favorite? What if Dr. Robby takes away all his attention from Dennis, what if he is forced to watch Dr. Robby give all his attention to the older Resident? Nausea curdles in his stomach and he wants to throw up.
Dennis has a bad feeling.
“Yo, Whitaker!” Dennis gulps down a lungful of air as he moves to meet Dr. Langdon. Ogilvie, of course, follows right at his shoulder.
“Dr…Langdon…” He fights down a cringe at the audible hesitation in his voice.
“You, uh, meet Louie here?” Dr. Langdon stops with the familiar patient in a wheelchair, but Dennis only has eyes for the older Resident. Dennis tries to discreetly wipe off his sweaty palms on his scrub pants.
“Uh, yeah…yeah, many times.” He finally tears his eyes away to greet Louie with a smile and clutches his hands tightly together behind his back. The back of Dennis's neck prickles to attention. He’s no longer looking at the older Resident, but all his peripheral focus is locked in on him. He looks… good. It’s been several months since Dennis has last laid eyes on him. The man’s hair still somehow fell in perfect disarray; the soft strands flowing over to one side. He looks like he’s been working out, Dennis thinks. There’s an attractive curl of muscles down the length of his arms; a black hair-tie and black bracelet bringing attention to the narrow wrists leading into strong, masculine, hands.
“Where’s your new Resident badge buddy, buddy?” His eyes are drawn back to Dr. Langdon when he addresses Dennis again. Immediately Dennis regrets where he had hung his badge this morning. Usually he has it hanging from his scrub-top pocket, but this morning he had clipped it to his pants. He watches as the older man’s eyes are at his waist, where the badge is hanging in front of his crotch, till they drag slowly up Dennis's front until their eyes meet for the first time. His heart momentarily stumbles in his chest. He somehow looks exactly the same and completely different at the same time. His hair looks so soft, his eyebrows seem as expressive as ever, and the dimple on his chin is distracting. There’s a slight shadow of stubble on the older man’s angular face and Dennis forces down a hard swallow.
“Oh, uh, yeah, they…they didn’t give me a new one yet.” He feels like a deer in headlights. He hadn’t expected Dr. Langdon to question his badge. He didn’t have an answer pre-prepared. He looks down at his own badge, already knowing what it says, as if to confirm it still says the wrong title. He represses a cringe as he’s already lifting the badge up and drawing everyone’s eyes down to it; once again, hating himself for hanging his badge from his waist this morning. He anxiously releases the badge and forces his hands behind his back again. He squeezes his fingers tightly together as a reminder not to move his damn hands again. He swears he can feel Ogilvie’s amused gaze on the back of his head and ignores the student doctor. He knows his face is trying to flush in embarrassment when he meets Dr. Langdon’s eyes again.
“Bummer.” The man’s expression doesn’t change. Clearly not impressed and doesn’t actually give a fuck. Dennis's gaze darts from the other’s intense eyes down to his prominent Adam's apple. He watches it bob as Dr. Langdon swallows and he blinks rapidly to stay on track. “You and, uh,” blue eyes flick from Joy, who’s somewhere behind him, then to Ogilvie at his shoulder, “your ducklings got time to tap a six-pack off our friend here?” He finds that he’s already nodding his head in agreement before Dr. Langdon even finishes his request. “Louie needs a paracentesis.” Dennis turns away to look at Joy, who is in fact behind him and up to Ogilvie who’s behind him.
“Yeah, sure.” He nods and smiles at Louie. He decides it’s probably best if he keeps his eyes off the older Resident. “It’s good to see you again, Louie. Not in this condition, of course.” He relaxes slightly with the more familiar interaction with the patient. “How are you feeling?” Well, Dennis is feeling confused that Dr. Langdon still hasn’t left yet. He’s made a request of Dennis and the students, he’s passed on the information he needs to, yet…he’s still standing there. Dennis ignores the hand the older man places on Louie’s shoulder. He tries to anyway. His gaze slips back to the hand. He feels the ghost of a touch to his own skin; it’s been days since Dr. Robby has laid a hand on Dennis’s shoulder. He shouldn’t be jealous of a hand on a patient’s shoulder. Dennis hardly even knew Dr. Langdon before he had left. He only knew the Resident for not even an entire shift, yet, Dr. Langdon had been Dr. Robby’s favorite. Dr. Langdon had been receiving all the benefits…all the hands-on encouragement from the Attending during that time. The same attention that Dennis had been receiving until recently. Until Dr. Robby had decided that Dennis wasn’t worth his attention anymore. Until Dennis had obviously failed Dr. Robby somehow. With a startling thought, he realizes that Dr. Langdon would be the only other person in this whole Hospital who could understand what he’s feeling. He wonders if…if Dr. Langdon would put a hand on his shoulder?
Dr. Langdon finally begins walking backwards, hand outstretched while giving final instructions for Dennis and his ducklings. When Dennis says that he’s never done the procedure before, he’s surprised when Dr. Langdon stalks off anyway. He had kind of hoped that maybe the other Resident would stay, would teach Dennis, if maybe he could learn from Dr. Langdon…make him proud? With a soft sigh, Dennis makes his way around to the back of the wheelchair. He’s being delusional, he thinks. His hands are on the wheelchair and he’s about to begin moving, when he’s suddenly frozen where he stands. Before the industrial scent neutralizer vents can suck it up, a smell drifts to his nose. Dennis's nostrils flare at the enticing smell of Omega. There’s the scent of sweet mint soft in the air; it’s followed closely by the smell of columbian coffee. Involuntarily, his eyelids flutter closed and the scent settles deeply into his sinuses. With a shake of his head, he begins pushing Louie, but he knows the delicious smell will be stuck in his nose long after the scent is swept away.
The next time Dennis sees Dr. Langdon, well, when it’s for more than just a handful of seconds, it’s when he’s talking with Victoria. He’s so distracted by the revelation that “Huckleberry” might not be a cute nickname that he doesn’t see Dr. Langdon approach.
“Dr. Javadi, Dr. Whitaker.” The older resident nods at either of them before focusing up at the board. Dennis anxiously crosses his arms; one hand holds his ribs protectively, the other grasps his opposite elbow tightly.
“Oh, I’m, I’m still a student doctor.” She gestures over her shoulder at Dennis with a thumb. “Dennis's the real deal now.” She offers the man a hesitant smile. He looks up at Dennis in surprise, as if he forgot that Dennis is finally a Resident now.
“Right.” He looks back and forth between the two, as if he’s waiting for someone to say something. Victoria, the one who knows how to behave and follow social queues, is the one to break the pregnant pause.
“Welcome back.” She even includes a friendly hand gesture! Dennis can’t see her face, but he knows she has a brilliant smile showing all of her teeth.
“Thanks. Yeah, thank you.” Dr. Langdon self consciously crosses his arms, just like Dennis. With clarity, Dennis realizes they’re like a mirror. Dennis is not only a reflection of the beginning of Dr. Langdon’s time in the ER, but Dr. Langdon is also a reflection of the anxiety and self-recrimination that Dennis now carries. Physically they may be opposites; black vs dirty blonde, pale vs pink and tanned, lean vs muscular, the opposites go on, too many to list in this moment. Somehow though, Dennis feels that Dr. Langdon and himself are the same on the inside. His gaze rises from his feet when Dr. Langdon speaks again. “It’s good to be back.” The older Resident alternates passing an intense look between the younger two. When it’s clear that neither are going to say anything, Dr. Langdon begins speaking while moving behind them. “Okay, I will be in exile on Triage Island with the rest of the drug addicts, if anyone needs me.” He pauses a moment longer behind Dennis and the hair on his arms rises at the close proximity. His skin seems to tingle and he forces down the urge to shiver when Dr. Langdon leans close at the end of his sentence. With a final intense look, the man gently nudges Dennis's shoulder with the side of his arm. He holds his breath, Dr. Langdon’s lips flattening into a thin line as he finally turns and walks away.
“That was weird.” He looks back to Victoria uncertainly.
“Very,” he agrees. ~
He thought the day was going as well as it could be for him, given the circumstances, until he fucked up.
“Let’s get Louie 50 milligrams of Librium.” He doesn’t look at Dennis when he says this. Dennis finds himself already crossing his arms across his chest. It makes him feel slightly steadier in the older Resident’s presence.
“I’ll put in the order.” Dennis agrees with him without thinking. He blinks back into focus when he feels a tension so thick in the air you could cut it with a scalpel. He first looks to Perlah and then to Dr. Langdon, finding them both staring at him already. Perlah’s eyes flick between the two Doctors before speaking
“I will get it from the PDS.” She dashes out of the room as quickly as she can. He suddenly realizes how that came across and the air whooshes out of his lungs. He looks down to his shoes, blinking rapidly as he tracks her out of the room with just his eyes. His eyebrows furrow and he closes his eyes tightly in defeat. When he looks over at the other man with regret, he finds that Dr. Langdon is still looking at him. “I’m already assigned as Louie’s treating physician,” he tries to explain. He uncrosses his arms and takes two steps to close the distance and face the other man. Dennis lifts his arms out as he speaks, trying to maintain as open of body language as he can with the older Resident. To Dennis's surprise, Dr. Langdon removes his tight grip from the rails of the gurney and steps closer to face him too. To his dismay, Dr. Langdon seems disappointed, even defeated. Anxiety prickles across his scalp in a cool wave and it feels as if every hair is standing on end. He swears he can feel sweat gathering at the bend of his elbows and behind his knees.
“Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Dr. Langdon steps within a foot of Dennis as he makes his way around the bottom of the gurney. That sweet and rich smell reaches his nose again, and he realizes that the scent is coming from the other man. Dennis watches him step out of the room before he steals himself and rapidly exits after him. As Dennis steps through the door he sees Dr. Langdon and Dr. Robby’s paths meeting in the hallway. With a deep steadying breath, Dennis quickly closes the distance and stops Dr. Langdon with a light touch to his right elbow. The older resident freezes in place at the touch, his feet immediately rooted to the ground, but his body leans forward as if continuing his momentum. He turns his head and then widened blue eyes are meeting his own.
“Wait, wait, Dr. Langdon.” Dennis clears his throat and blinks rapidly for a moment. When he refocuses, he notices that Dr. Robby has also stopped and is watching Dennis over Dr. Langdon’s shoulder. As the older Resident fully turns to face Dennis, he watches Dr. Robby’s gaze lazer-focus on Dennis's fingers on Dr. Langdon’s elbow. With warmth overtaking Dennis's face, he immediately retracts his touch and avoids the heavy gaze of Dr. Robby, who’s now staring intently at his face. “Could I speak to you for a moment?” He can’t help it, but he can feel his face morph into the “Puppy Look” as Trinity calls it. Dr. Langdon blinks slowly three times and then joltingly nods his assent. Over the man’s shoulder, Dennis sees Dr. Robby rub at his nose in discomfort. Dennis turns and the closest room is the linen closet. Luckily, he figures this room will actually be the most likely to be empty out of any other room in the Pitt. With his decision made, he beelines for the room and pushes it open. He holds the door until Dr. Langdon walks past him and the last thing he sees is Dr. Robby’s unhappy glare as the door closes between them.
“I, I wanted to apologize to you.” He spins around to face Dr. Langdon, looking up earnestly into blue eyes. The older man’s eyebrows rise in surprise and he tilts his head inquisitively. “I didn’t think…didn’t realize how what I said came across, until it was already out of my mouth.” His eyebrows furrow and his thumb finds its way to the center of his chest. Without thinking, his right thumb digs hard into his xiphoid process, the pressure applied right where his anxiety sits in his chest. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable here, especially on your first day back…honestly, I’m glad to have you back.” Dennis didn’t even realize he had looked away until he found his eyes crawling back up to look at Dr. Langdon’s face. He finds that the man still looks surprised, but there’s something else, some other emotion, that’s trying to break through. Suddenly, a warm hand settles on his shoulder and he practically melts into the touch. A thumb rests along his clavicle, gently rubbing across the protruding bone, the rest of his fingers squeeze the back of Dennis's shoulder. At the grounding touch, Dennis’s anxiety just…slips away. This is what he’s missed. Physical reassurance.
“Thank you for that, Whitaker, I appreciate that, but you shouldn’t apologize to me. In fact, I should apologize to you. I let you down. I let everyone down. What I did was wrong and–” Dennis is rapidly shaking his head. The movement unsettles Dr. Langdon’s hand and it ends up shifting closer to the exposed skin of Dennis's neck, very close to where his mating gland is covered by a patch.
“No, don’t apologize to me, Dr. Langdon. I…I know what you did was wrong, but you didn’t let me down.” His voice grows quieter and shy, the older man leans closer to continue hearing him. “I know addiction is hard, especially when you’re fighting it on your own. I just want you to know that you’re not alone. If you ever want someone to talk to or just be silent with, I’m here for you. I won’t judge you.” He glances down and away with his next words, “I had an uncle who went through something similar. After, he ended up swapping his addiction to pills for alcohol and nobody ever knew. He drank himself to death.” Dennis looks up to Dr. Langdon earnestly. “I’m proud of you for sticking it out through rehab and making it back. I still believe in you, Dr. Langdon.” He smiles hesitantly up at the older man. Lifting his hand, he settles it on top of Dr. Langdon’s, where it still rests on his shoulder. The man’s hands are large and warm. Dennis can’t help it, but he instantly compares it to the way Dr. Robby used to grab him. Dr. Robby’s hands were thicker, while Dr. Langdon has long and narrow fingers. Dr. Robby had never gripped him so tightly though, as if he was trying desperately to hold onto Dennis. Dr. Robby had certainly never stroked the skin along the V of his scrub-top. Of course this happened the one day that Dennis had been covered in so much blood that even his undershirt had to go, leaving his decolletage and neck exposed.
“Thank…Thank you for that, Whitaker,” Dr. Langdon chokes out, blinking rapidly and tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling. He sniffs wetly before looking back at Dennis, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Call me Langdon from now on, okay? No need to be so formal.” He squeezes down on Dennis's shoulder. Just like with Dr. Robby, one touch and Dennis caves.
“Okay…Okay…Langdon.” He feels heat trying to rise to his cheeks. “We should probably get back out there…” Dennis shuffles anxiously, not knowing how long they’ve been standing in the linen closet and knowing that anyone could walk in at any minute.
“You’re right,” the corner of Langdon’s mouth curls up. “I’ll see you later, Whitaker.” With one final squeeze, he steps past Dennis and opens the door for the both of them. They both startle when they find that Dr. Robby is standing right outside, facing the door. His eyes narrow ominously as he leans to let Langdon pass him without a word. His strict gaze finds its way back to Dennis, but Dr. Robby does not move to let him pass.
“What was that?” Dr. Robby crosses his arms across his chest and his forearms are practically touching Dennis's chest as he's standing so close. Dennis nervously wipes his hands off on his scrub pants.
“Nothing, Dr. Robby.” Dennis anxiously captures his lower lip between his teeth and rolls it. The Attending’s eyes trail over every inch of Dennis’s face. He spends a long moment reading every line of worry and anxiety he finds there. Dennis can’t help but think that Dr. Robby finds him lacking.
“Back to work, Whitaker.” Dennis takes the dismissal for what it is and scurries away quickly. He returns to Louie’s room and closes the door behind himself with relief. If he spends the next several minutes sitting at Louie’s bedside, he’ll say it’s for patient satisfaction scores. ~
Dr. Robby seems to be unraveling as the day progresses. Dr. Al-Hashimi manages to press every one of the other Attending’s buttons, riling him up further with every disagreement they have. With every case that Dr. Robby pulls him into, his anxiety tries to rise higher. Especially when Dr. Al-Hashimi inevitably joins them. The tension is thick in the air during every case, Dennis somehow finds himself in the middle of two Attendings that are fighting over whose process is “right.” He finds himself having to do a rapid deep-breathing exercise every time he leaves a room that holds the two of them. He can see them having a “discussion” again when he’s approaching Perlah.
“Hey, fent OD in South 20 is ready for discharge, but could you get Lupe to call him a ride?” He points his thumb over his shoulder as he’s already trying to walk away again. “I need to check on Louie.”
“Uh, actually, Whitaker–” He pauses at her soft tone when Ogilvie cuts her off.
“He croaked.” The student is completely unbothered; he doesn’t even care.
“What?” Dennis croaks himself. His breathing picks up as devastation settles deeply in his chest. He can’t believe it.
“Five minutes ago. Robby called it.” He doesn’t even bother to look at Dennis when he says it. Dennis feels nauseous, hand raising to hold down his stethoscope to his chest as he turns and runs. He dodges other employees and then he’s pushing open the door, followed by the privacy curtain. Langdon is already standing in the room when he enters. Dennis is already breathing rapidly when Langdon speaks up in a soft voice.
“Five minutes ago. Robby called it. I’m sorry, man. We didn’t have time to find you.” Dennis blinks rapidly, trying desperately to hold back the tears he feels welling up hotly behind his eyes. Every rapid inhale is accompanied by a sharp pinch in his ribs. The oxygen feels so thin in the room, like it’s somehow been completely cut off from the entire Hospital. His thumb finds its way to his xiphoid process, applying pressure right where it hurts the most, hoping he can hold his chest together after losing another patient. After losing someone he actually knew.
“What happened?” He begs. He can’t look away from Louie’s body, even though it hurts to see him this way. He’s covered in red, a tube still down his throat, but it’s full of slowly clotting, dark blood.
“He was apneic and pulseless. We started CPR and intubated him. He had a massive pulmonary hemorrhage. Robby called it.” He’s still speaking in that soft tone of voice, one Dennis has never heard before, but it somehow passes into one ear and out the other. It’s like his head is full of cotton. There’s a light, high-pitched ringing in his ears. The background sounds of the ER disappear into nothing. As if in slow motion, he hazily watches Langdon strip off one glove and then the other. The man bends slightly and when he stands to his full height he’s no longer holding gloves, but he’s holding a picture. Suddenly there’s such a heavy weight on Dennis’s shoulders. His posture slumps and he grips tightly at his sides.
“Found this with his stuff,” Langdon leans the picture towards Dennis with a gesture. “Guess he was married at some point. Never knew that.” The man stares down at the picture in his hands and Dennis finally is able to tear his gaze away from the bloody body before him. “Oh, didn’t miss this part of the job.” Distantly he thinks that the other man sounds sad.
“Yeah.” At the sound of Dennis’s voice, Langdon’s head snaps up and his gaze seems to look through Dennis. Inside of him. Blue eyes glance over his shoulder and then Langdon is advancing past him. He feels fresh air brush against his back as the door moves. Distantly, he hears Perlah’s voice, but Langdon cuts her off and the door closes again just as quickly. There’s the jarring sound of the curtain dragging closed and then the world narrows back down to this one ER room. To just Dennis, the gurney, Louie's body…Langdon makes the world open up a little, the tunnel vision dilating when a hand falls heavy on his shoulder. That’s when he realizes he’s hyperventilating.
“Whitaker?” He can’t make himself move. It’s like concrete has been poured into his shoes with his feet still inside. His shoulders rise and fall rapidly; each breath is shorter than the last, the oxygen rapidly disappearing from the room. His hands tighten around his ribs, where he’s desperately trying to hold himself together. He can’t fly apart in this room.
There’s warm hands cupping either side of his face. His head is tilted up…and up…he blinks rapidly and Langdon is right in his face. If he could breathe he would probably startle at how close the other man is, but at this moment all that escapes him is a hitching sob. Thumbs are smoothing across his cheeks and he becomes aware that he’s been crying. Langdon wipes away at his tears, his lips moving rapidly, but Dennis can’t hear him. Dennis can’t feel anything. Even the pain and anguish isn’t his own now. It’s someone else’s. It’s someone else’s body, he’s not in control; he’s just a passenger. Dennis thinks that he’s passing out when his vision fills with black, but then he feels the material against his face. He closes his eyes. His forehead is touching the warm skin of a neck, the steady beating of a heart pressed tightly against his ear. Lean arms are wrapped tightly around his back and suddenly…Dennis can breathe. His first deep inhale is ragged and wet. It times perfectly to mirror the chest his face is pressed against. When he exhales it’s with a sob. Each draw in of air carries the sweet scent of the Omega holding him, further soothing his own Omega senses. One hand rubs up and down the length of Dennis’s back and the other adjusts to cup the back of his head and holds him tightly to a chest. Each breath comes a little easier, the comforting scent of mint and coffee, of omega, filling his lungs. Two chests rise in tandem and the cotton begins to clear from his head. The first thing he’s able to hear is a gentle humming in his ear. The sound of the deep voice soothes him further and then it’s like fresh O2 deposited straight to his alveoli.
Blinking his eyes open, he finds that his arms are already wrapped around Langdon, his hands fisting the other man’s scrubs desperately. His face feels hot with mortification as he rapidly backpeddles out of Langdon’s hold. “I…I’m sorry,” he can’t even meet the other man’s eyes. Without thinking, his hand rises to cup the back of his own neck, as if to stimulate the touch of the other man that he had just ripped himself away from.
“Don’t apologize, Whitaker.” A large hand settles on the curls atop his head. Dennis hesitantly looks up at Langdon, embarrassment still burning a pit in his stomach. “I’m here for you if you need me.” The man smiles down at Dennis, his pink lips curling up into a reassuring smile. “Why don’t you take another minute in here and I’ll be back in a moment with Perlah?” Dennis nods his head and listens to the curtain sway then the lights dim as the door opens and closes again. He lets out a heavy sigh. Reaching the edge of the gurney he grasps Louie’s hand and breathes deeply.
“I’m sorry, Louie.” His lips twist wryly. A scent suddenly catches his nose and he turns his head. His cheek presses against his shoulder and that’s when he realizes that he’s been completely doused in Langdon’s scent. The sweet, comforting smell has drenched his scrubs and he thinks it might have even settled on his skin where they were touching directly for several minutes. The smell further calms his nerves until he hears the door open and he steps away from Louie. Perlah enters behind Langdon who hesitates in the doorway; when he sees Dennis he seems to relax slightly and then lets the nurse into the room. The light brightens in the room and she passes Dennis carrying supplies. He can’t pull his eyes away from Louie as the two converse. He should’ve been here. Louie was his patient.
Dennis looks up at the phone that’s being offered across Louie’s body. “You were his primary. Do you want to–” Dennis freezes for a moment, he shakes himself loose, shakes his head in dissent.
“No.” He looks away from the phone and back to Louie. Without a word, Langdon retracts the phone and makes the call. He watched the older man turn and go look through the door towards Central. Distantly, Dennis can see Dana is holding the ER phone to her ear, but she’s looking at Langdon.
The next time Dennis blinks, both Perlah and Langdon are gone, but the door is opening to Trinity stepping through. She encourages him to sit with her in the corner of the room, out of the way.
“Even when it’s not your fault, sometimes it’s worse knowing that there was nothing you could do.” He can’t help but think of his first patient, Mr. Milton. His thought is interrupted by a drawn out yawn. He turns around in disbelief. “Are you–” He’s interrupted by Dana entering the room as she jerks open the curtain.
“Robby needs you both in Trauma Two,” before she can say any more, he’s already up and dashing out of the room. He could use a distraction. It works. By the time he’s walking out of the room and rubbing hand sanitizer across his skin, he feels lighter. He finds himself stalling behind Dr. Robby and Dr. Garcia when he hears them discussing Langdon’s patient. Dr. Robby changes topics quickly and turns to face Dennis directly.
“Hey, did you hear about Louie?” This is the most of a connection that Dr. Robby has tried to instill with Dennis in days. The Attending’s deep brown eyes never leave Dennis’s face. With how close they’re standing, he can’t help but catch a whiff of the Alpha’s natural scent. The sharp smell of mint combined with sweet vanilla makes Dennis’s toes curl in his shoes. He still feels so sad about Louie, but here is Dr. Robby trying to reassure him. He can’t help but feel elated by the attention he’s been longing for.
“Yeah.” He sighs from deep inside, where he feels tired not physically, but somehow still tired inside himself. If only Dr. Robby would touch his shoulder, like when Langdon had…his brain short-circuits at this train of thought. After the way Langdon had hugged Dennis, after how it made him feel…he’s not so sure about Dr. Robby touching his shoulder again. What if it’s not the same anymore?
“You okay?” His voice is still soft, surprisingly. The Attending ducks his head slightly, as if he’s trying to find some eye contact with Dennis.
“One of my uncles drank himself to death.” Dennis finds himself admitting under Dr. Robby’s concerned gaze. “I barely recognized him at the end…At least Louie always seemed happy.” It’s not much of a consolation he gives himself, but anything to help him feel slightly better from the loss of his patient.
“I’m here if you want to talk.” The Attending is looking at him somewhat sadly when he offers both fists up for… a fist bump. Dennis follows through with it. The skin of their knuckles and the back of their fingers gently touching. Dr. Robby’s lips upturn in reassurance and then he’s passing by Dennis, the younger man’s hands still held up in the air in disbelief. The Attending is already leaving before finding out if Dennis would want to talk to him. As Dr. Robby passes him, he pauses just past his shoulder. His head snaps over to Dennis and his eyebrows are deeply furrowed. Dennis’s eyebrows rise up and he looks up at his Attending meekly. The man’s hooked nose almost touches Dennis’s shoulder as he leans down to sniff at the Resident’s scrub-top. A thunderous expression overtakes Dr. Robby’s face as he rises to his full height and stalks off in agitation. ~
When Dr. Robby makes the announcement, he follows the line of employees into the viewing room. Louie looks peaceful in the center of the room; no tube down his throat and cleaned of his own blood. He makes a better final picture for Dennis’s mind now, although he’ll never be able to scrub out the picture of him from before. Dennis is trying to keep his breathing even when another arm is pressing tightly against his own. He looks up and to find Langdon standing shoulder to shoulder with him. He tips his head to the side, resting it on the taller man’s shoulder for a stolen moment, before he lifts his head just as quickly. A hand, that he automatically recognizes, is suddenly on his shoulder and then he’s being bodily moved away from Langdon by several feet. Both men look in surprise as Dr. Robby moves Dennis so that he can stand between the two. Dennis feels confused, but Langdon is looking at Dr. Robby in disbelief…and maybe with frustration.
The staff begins sharing their stories of Louie and Langdon speaks up with his own. Dr. Robby, though, looks at Langdon as if he can’t believe the Resident is speaking. After a few minutes, Langdon speaks up again anyways, holding up the picture of Louie for everyone to see. Dr. Robby reaches out and takes the picture. He shares the story of Louie’s wife, a story that clearly only he knew, but he turns and hands the photograph to Dennis instead. Dennis passes the picture along in confusion, but the moment goes unnoticed among the staff it seems.
“May his memory be a blessing.” The sentiment is nice, but Dennis is startled slightly when Dr. Robby knocks his elbow into Dennis. He looks up and the Attending motions with his head for Dennis to follow him out. Obediently, Dennis trails behind Dr. Robby, but he spares a glance for Langdon as he passes and the older Resident sneaks in a squeeze of Dennis’s bicep.