Work Text:
*BEEP BEEP*
*BEEP BEEP*
Miller: V? Is that you?
Snake: It's me.
Miller: You need something?
Snake: No. Just wanted to know how your week was.
Miller: Nothing out of the ordinary. SERE training from a FOB in the Rockies.
Snake: *chuckle* So it was a good week, then. Anything interesting happen?
Miller: Depends on your definition of interesting... Actually, on the first patrol of the whole exercise Solid forgot to clear his weapon when he came back into the FOB.
Snake: Oh yeah? What did that earn him? Five hundred pushups?
Miller: Oh no. No no no. What would that teach him? I just gave him a new weapon for the rest of the exercise, since he clearly couldn't be trusted with that one.
Snake: "New weapon"?
Miller: A traffic cone.
Snake: A traffic cone.
Miller: In the hands of a real soldier, a traffic cone is as much a weapon as any rifle.
Snake: Describe the... capabilities of the traffic cone.
Miller: The traffic cone is the ideal survival tool. It's bright enough to be used as a rescue signal, and if you plug the end, you can use it as a snare. It's water impermeable, cold resistant, and toxic when burned - you could use it to smoke out your enemies.
Snake: That's a ringing endorsement. I sure hope you put that on his gravestone.
Miller: Didn't have to.
Snake: So, Solid survived a week in the Rockies with a traffic cone instead of a rifle.
Miller: Of course. But when he came back to the FOB he forgot to clear his weapon again.
Snake: By "his weapon" you mean...
Miller: ...The traffic cone, obviously.
Snake: How does one "clear" a traffic cone?
Miller: I imagine it's like any other weapon. You point it in a safe direction and check the chamber for cone-sized cartridges.
Snake: Did you take his "weapon" away?
Miller: Nah I just made him do five hundred pushups.
Snake: You really like that guy, huh.
Miller: ...He's nothing like his "father," if that's what you mean.
Snake: I'm sure he isn't.
Miller: ...
Snake: Sorry.
Miller: It's fine. I think he's got the potential to become a better soldier than that piece of shit ever was.
Snake: ...
Miller: V, why did you call me?
Snake: Operation Intrude N313 is underway.
Miller: Fuck. Jesus. Fuck.
Snake: It's good to hear from you too, Kaz.
Miller: V, just leave. You don't need to do this. Fuck him, fuck his plans, fuck everything he's built.
Snake: ...We've built.
Miller: Just say no, V. You don't owe that son of a bitch anything. You've paid him back for anything he's ever done for you ten times over.
Snake: How would I, with this face? Where would I go? How could I ever get far enough that his attack cat couldn't hunt me down?
Miller: I'll help you. I'll come with you. We'll run together. Believe me, if that sadistic motherfucker finds us I will happily cut his throat myself. Someone needed to put him down a long time ago. I could do it now, believe me. I've trained enough.
Snake: ...Kaz, he doesn't play fair. You have a wife--
Miller: An ex- wife.
Snake: --and a daughter.
Miller: So I'll take her with us. She's a strong girl.
Snake: That's no life for a kid.
Miller: We could protect her. Trust me. He's the one who should be here, not you. You don't deserve to pay for his crimes.
Snake: ...Kaz, I... ...maybe...
*rumble* *CRASH*
Snake: Kaz, I have to go!
Miller: What's wrong?!
Snake: Whoever he sent, they're already at Metal Gear! If that blows the self-destruct sequence triggers automatically... *heavy breathing* *running footsteps*
Miller: So get out of there! Now!
Snake: Kaz, I've already pulled the alarm, but if I don't stop him, hundreds of people won't make it out in time...
Miller: ...Whoever he sent, they've got to be skilled. And armed to the teeth.
Snake: Kaz?
Miller: I'll coach you through it. Let me support you, Snake. We'll kill his agent, you'll get the hell out of there, and Cathy and I will be waiting for you at the airport. We'll disappear together. Yes?
Snake: Kaz...
Miller: Yes or no, V?
Snake: Yes. ...Yes. We can do this.
Miller: All right. Tell me what you're packing.
Snake: Just my battle rifle: an M4A1 carbine, 150 rounds. Survival knife. No time to get to the armoury. *clank clank clank - metal on rungs*
Miller: Good enough.
*BOOM* SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED
Snake: That was Metal Gear!
Miller: Shit. You can't make a run for it, he'll gun you down on the ladder. Take cover and kill him the second he comes through the hangar door.
*creak*
Snake: Kaz...
Miller: Snake? What's wrong? Shoot him!
Snake:: ...
Miller: Snake!
Snake: ...It's Solid, Kaz.
Miller: It's... ...oh my god that bastard... I...
Snake: It's all right, Kaz.
Miller: You can... ...he must have explosives... ...if you can... *swallow* ...target them... ...you can't carry him out you'll never make it up the ladder in time... ...you'll have to...
Snake: ...
*click*
Miller: Snake? Snake?! V, don't close the channel!
...
Miller: Oh, fuck. No. No no no no. No! Please V, answer me...!
*click*
Snake: ...K-kaz... *wet coughing*
Miller: V?!
Snake: ...please, Kaz... ...just... ... me... ...
Snake: ...
Miller: V...? Can you hear me, V?
Miller: Can you hear me, V? Respond! Please respond!
Miller: V? V?! V!!!!
*RUMBLE* *BOOM* *CRASH*