Chapter Text
Katie was not having a good time.
The knight ran across the bridge, tears pricking the corner of her eyes and her pride shattered into millions of pieces. She’s fine, she just has to ignore the blue kingdom and their stupid bubbles soaking her to the bone and her stupid brother being an annoying pest. They’re all just a bunch of jerks, it’s fine.
She's fine.
Katie is brave.
Katie didn’t feel very brave at the moment…
Tears start rolling, faster than she can wipe away.
It’s dark enough now that most in Red would be asleep and nobody should be out meaning she could just sneak back in as long as she was careful. Should be pretty easy considering her past visits to the Blue Kingdom where she managed to go mostly undetected to place some silly signs in her brother's house.
Just as she makes it past the entrance, she trips on a piece of rubble, her foot twisting harshly with the landing. The knight covers her mouth with her hand before she can cry out, not wanting to accidentally wake anyone with her whining.
It's fine, just another bruise. She has plenty of those from being tossed around like a ragdoll with that stupid bubble spell. Not to mention the amount of times she’s been shoved off a ledge or shield bashed and expected to just laugh it off because; ‘It’s just a bit of teasing, Nom can handle it, why can’t you?’.
Katie sits up, carefully inspecting her injured ankle. She pokes it, flinches, and groans. That's going to be hard to hide. And yet, she has to. She has to be brave, and an injured ankle is no excuse. She can’t disappoint the only people who actually care by failing them again.
Wincing, she grabs a long stick, stands up, and leans momentarily against the ruined wall for support before limping forward. It’s fine, just make it to the house and dress the wound before it gets any worse. She’ll just tell the King she tripped on a late night walk; not technically a lie, but not exactly the truth either.
The walk back is annoyingly painful, but short. The stairs are a bit of a challenge with the messed up ankle but it's nothing a ‘brave knight’ like her can’t handle. Nevertheless, she makes it inside and slams the door shut louder than she means to, rattling the creaking floor boards. She barely has the energy to change and dry, simply tossing her armour to the side with more force than intended and changing into her pyjamas, grimacing every time she brushes against any wounds, fresh and old. It’s just an old t-shirt and pajama pants but it will do for the night.
The girl reaches for a floorboard that seems a bit loose, pulling it open and reaching in to grab a wooden medkit from inside. Her movements are automatic, having done this routine thousands of times in the past to deal with whatever injury she's gotten during the day.
It only takes a minute or two to wrap her ankle before the supplies return to the box and back hidden away from prying eyes.
Wiping her eyes she pulls out her journal, something she absolutely must write in. It's something she does every night, especially when she has a particularly rough day.
She flops down onto the floor in a corner of her room and pulls out her special book and quill; opening the first page only to freeze at what she sees.
The name in her journal has been crossed out and replaced with “Nom’s sister”.
4C.
The slime must have grabbed her book when she wasn’t looking.
Katie hurls the journal across the room and curls up, bringing her knees to her chest and trying as hard as she can to not let the tears start floating for what feels like the millionth time tonight. It’s just too much. She’s so tired of it. She’s tired of constantly being compared to him, she’s tired of putting up with the bullying, she’s tired of pretending to be brave. She just wants to be Katie. She just wants people to see her for her, not just an extension of her brother or a punching bag or the butt of a joke.
Her sobs fill the empty space as she finally lets all the emotions she’s kept bottled up pour out of her like a fountain.
She doesn’t notice a face peering down from the top of a ladder, nor the small creak as feet hit the floor.
“Katie?”
The girl startles, accidentally hitting her head against the wall. Blinking away the dizziness she finds a tired eyed rogue standing just a few feet away. Right, Kitty is her roommate now.
“Sorry, Kitty. I didn’t mean to wake you. I forgot you moved upstairs, I promise to be more quiet next time.”
“It’s okay, I was having trouble with sleep already.” he shrugs. “Why are you upset?”
Katie wipes her face with her arm, trying to look at least somewhat composed. “It’s nothing, no reason.” She says far too fast.
Kitty squints at her before replying, “but you were shaking and crying. That means you are upset.”
“You are very… perceptive.”
“What’s that?”
“Nothing, don’t worry.”
“But I do worry, you are very upset and I want to know why.”
“Kitty, i’m fine” She says it with more bite than she means to, guilt pooling in her stomach when the rogue flinches.
“Okay.” Kitty turns and walks out of Katie’s view.
Her head falls back down and she sniffles quietly. Great, that’s one more person she’s messed things up with. The rogue is probably going to pack her things and move out before the sun rises.
A light tap on her shoulder startles her out of her thoughts. She looks up to see Kitty crouched in front of her, holding out a green handkerchief with a little paw embroidered on it. Katie stares at her confused before Kitty rolls her eyes and reaches to grab Katie’s hand, pulling back with wide eyes when the girl flinches and hides her arm behind her back.
“Why do you hide from me?” He sounds hurt and that brings her more pain than anything.
“I’m not! I just got a small cut on my arm from training today! You know how it is! Being a knight is tough, but I'm super brave so it doesn’t matter! It’s pretty gross you probably don’t even want to see it.” Katie’s voice rises in pitch.
“You lie. Give me your arm.”
“No, really it’s fine Kitty–”
“Katie.”
Katie reluctantly holds out her arm and looks away, there's a large bruise on the side blossoming purple.
“Oh, what happened.”
She considers lying, saying she banged it on something while building, but she's never been good at teetering around the truth.
“Nom shield bashed me when he caught me sneaking around the Blue Kingdom, I didn’t have my shield on me so I tried to block it with my arm. Didn’t really go as planned. He said he was sorry but only because Queen Shan told him to say it.”
“Mmm.”
“I'm supposed to be ‘Katie the Brave’ but I'm not being very brave right now. I just keep messing up and it feels like nobody takes me seriously. I’m just so tired of everyone treating me like a joke.” Katie sighs, looking up at the ceiling.
Kitty sits down crisscrossed on the floor.
She continues, “How am I supposed to be this brave knight when everyone keeps making me feel like a fool.”
The rogue tilts their head, “But you are very brave! You left your brother and came here all by yourself. That’s really brave.”
“It doesn’t mean much when the kingdom you once called home and the kingdom you now call home both call you a joke.” She mumbles.
Kitty frowns and fiddles with their handkerchief, “Who is saying that?”
“Its not really that they are saying it, but I know they’re thinking it. An old friend once told me ‘actions speak louder than words’ and people’s actions are really saying a lot.”
“I wasn’t aware actions could speak”
The knight lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry, looking back at Kitty. “No, no, I just mean that people aren’t being very kind to me.”
“Oh. How so?”
“Nothing, it's nothing, I'm just being a big baby about it, it’s not a big deal.”
“But it has made you upset so now I wish to know so I can aid you.”
Katie groans, “Fine. It’s just, I came to this place for change, to finally be more than just ‘Nom’s Sister’, yet, the second people here find out it feels like that it was all for nothing. It’s the same with the new people in the blue kingdom. 4C literally went into my journal and crossed out my name to replace it with ‘Nom’s sister’ when I wasn’t looking!”
“Is that why your book is on the floor over there?” Kitty tilts his head, pointing at the tossed journal.
“...Maybe.”
The two sit in silence for a moment, Katie shifting uncomfortably from the pressure on their ankle and the hard wood floor. Kitty observes her, watchful eyes tracking every little movement in a way that makes the knight feel like a mouse in an open field.
“You are hurting.”
“My feelings are wounded, yes.”
“No, your leg.”
Katie cringes, “I wrapped it already, don't worry. I just tripped running back from Blue Kingdom.” Kitty opens their mouth to ask why she was there but she barrels on, “I just wanted to place a dumb banner because I thought it would be funny! It was just going to be in and out, nothing big! But then the stupid flower mage caught me and used the bubble spell. I tried to tell him that I didn’t like heights but he just ignored me and put me up super high so others would see! It was embarressing and scary and I hated it! I hate that spell but nobody listens to me!”
“You are scared of heights?” It's a simple question.
She speaks quickly, words tumbling out at a fast pace and arms waving animatedly, “Well, yes. Only a little bit! I promise I’m brave, it’s just when I look down everything feels too far and I feel helpless and I know that I'm not really going to get hurt but it’s the thought of-what-if-I-fall-and-the-magicdoesn’tcatchmeandmylegsbreakorIDIEAHORRIDDE–”
“Katie.” Kitty interrupts her spiral, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. “It’s okay, you are here in our home sitting on the floor. Just breath in and out, helps when you focus on that. Ignore other things.” Kitty breathes deeply in and out, encouraging the other to follow.
It takes her a minute, her breathing slowly calming in time with the rogues. When she finally feels composed enough to speak, she asks Kitty where they learned to help like that.
Kitty shrugs, removing their hand from the other's shoulder. “Just… did what felt right.”
A beat of silence.
“Huh. Well, thank you.”
Kitty doesn’t respond, instead letting the quiet wash over them. It's not uncomfortable, just heavy. Hanging there in wait for someone to acknowledge it.
“You know,” Katie breaks the silence, “It would be more comfortable if we sit somewhere else instead of the cold floor. My bed might be a more comfortable place to sit for a bit.”
“Are you sure I won’t be intruding?”
“No, of course not.” She smiles.
Katie stands and moves towards the bed but Kitty pauses for a minute to grab the journal from before. “I know you like to write in it before bed sometimes, I hear you mumbling sometimes when I can’t sleep.”
The two sit side by side, feet dangling just above the floor. Kitty passes the journal to Katie so she can write something new for the day though she doesn’t really have much to add. Honestly she doesn’t even know what her original plan to write about was when she took it out earlier. Nothing really new or exciting happened, just the same as many other days in the kingdoms. Except now she has a cat-turned-human leaning against her while her pen hovers above the paper in thought.
She writes a couple sentences, more venting than anything, but she doesn’t want it to just be the bad stuff. She quickly scribbles one last thing about all that just occurred and shuts it as soon as her pen leaves the journal. She knows Kitty can’t read but it still feels weird writing about someone while you're right next to them. She mumbles something about fixing the name on the front in the morning and places it on the nightstand next to a lamp.
“Do you want a hug? I saw Apo give Cherri one once when she was crying and it made her happier. I think I know how to do it…” Kitty asks,
“That… would be nice, actually.”
The rogue looks Katie up and down, appearing unsure of himself, before scooting closer and placing two arms around Katie's middle. Their movements are hesitant, like they are afraid of applying too much pressure and ruining the moment.
Katie smiles, pulling Kitty close and hugging them tightly. She feels Kitty tense up for a moment, but before she can worry she feels the arms around her squeeze in return and a head moving to rest on her shoulder.
They stay like that for a minute or so, the only noise comes in through the window; small crickets chirping and the soft rustle of leaves in the night wind.
Katie is the one to break the embrace, unshed tears shine in her eyes but they smile softly despite it.
“Thank you. I really needed that.”
“I’m happy I could help, even if I don’t really understand how.” Kitty smiles back before grimacing as though she had eaten something sour.
“Are you alright?”
Kitty shakes their head a bit, “I don’t know. It’s just– I’m happy but it doesn’t feel right.” He frowns, balling his fists into their pyjama shirt.
“What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right to be happy when I'm like this. Everytime I finally feel happy, it’s like this body reminds me that it’ll never be what it's supposed to be again.” Kitty looks down and glares at their hands like they owe her more gold than she can count (which isn’t very much but it’s still something!).
She’s a bit confused, “What do you mean?”
“I can’t purr.” he sighs, “I’m not me. I feel so very trapped in this body and I’m starting to forget what actually being a cat was like!” She looks up at the ceiling for a moment before flopping backwards on the bed. “I have these fingers instead of claws, I have this strange speech instead of my meows, I have this skin instead of fur, I have nothing that’s my own.”
Katie copies him, falling backwards next to her. She takes a minute to soak in Kitty’s words, she never really realized how horrible it must be to be changed into a completely different species against your will, losing all your traits and sense of self. It must hurt a lot, just a constant reminder everywhere he looks. She never realized how big of an impact this must have had on her. Gosh, she’s a horrid friend, too focused on all her problems to pay attention to the people around her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks before she can stop herself. ”Like, how you became human. I know I can’t help, I'm just a knight afterall, but maybe it will feel nice to talk about it? It's alright if you don’t want to, you know, no pressure and all.” She nearly cringes as she finishes. Right, that was definitely the right response, great job Katie! just ask them about the most traumatizing experience of their life, surly that isn’t the stupidest thing you could possib–
“Okay.” oh. Nevermind then.
“Wait really?”
“Yes, you said it might help and I trust you.” She doesn’t have much time to dwell on how sweet that is before Kitty continues.
“Well, I used to have a knight. He had dark hair, big blue eyes, and was always very kind. We lived in this big house that I can still remember every corner of. It was always nice and warm with lots of food always." He's smiling again, a far off look in her eyes like they are trying to revisit the scene they describe.
“His eyes are the thing I remember most about him, there was so much color back then, even if it wasn’t any of the ones I see now. Hues of blue and yellow paint my old memories, each one I hold more precious than the last. I remember waking one morning to find the bed empty, it wasn’t something unusual, my knight was often awake before me. What was unusual was the strange noises coming from the front door, nothing like the usual sound of food being made early in the morning. I crept down the stairs and when I turned the corner I saw him. He was on the floor and at first I didn’t understand what was wrong with him, why he wouldn’t get up, why there was dirt and blood on the floor. I didn’t understand he was dead.” Tears prick the edge of Kitty’s eyes but they wipe them away with their sleeve furiously.
“How? What happened?”
“The wizard.” she snarls, sitting up so suddenly that Katie flinches from both the anger in his voice, and the sudden movement.
“When these eyes opened it was blinding, so many lights and so many colors and so many weird feelings that I didn’t understand.” She takes a deep breath in before continuing. The first human emotion I felt was shame. Then quickly, hate followed in its footsteps. Hate for the man that took me from my home, my person, and turned me into his maid. Hate for the man that made me fetch him food. Hate for the man that locked me away when he didn’t want to see me. hate for the man that I killed.” His voice breaks on the last few words and her hands are balled into fists. Their eyes are far off again, though this time the look on their face screams, help me, help me, I'm reliving my worst moment and you're just sitting there like an idiot, and okay maybe that last part was just her brain making stuff up but the message still gets across pretty clearly.
“Hey, hey, it's alright! Um, I don’t know what to do, in this… situation. How might I help you?” Katie panics, hesitantly reaches a hand forward, hovering it above their shoulder before setting it down. Immediately the reaction is strong, Kitty practically screams, spinning to face her before pushing himself backwards on the bed to get away from her.
She reacts on instinct, grabbing the rogue just as she’s about to fall. Kitty does scream this time, thrashing and kicking out at Katie. A foot hits her square in the stomach and she’s forced to let go, probably for the best.
The rogue has his knees tucked up close and arms wrapped around them, like they are trying to make themself smaller. They are rocking back and forth a bit, breath coming in short gasps.
Right, what should Katie do in this situation? She’s never really been on the comforting side, more on the suffering-in-silence-whilst-curled-up-in-a-ball type, as shown by what occurred earlier.
“Hey, Kitty? I don’t know if you can hear me right now. I’m sorry for scaring you, I really didn’t mean to, I don’t know how to comfort people so I thought maybe a hand or like physical touch would ground you? I really didn’t think it through.” No response except for more laboured breathing. “Okay, um, here just follow my breathing. In and out, in and out, I'll keep talking so you know I'm still here. In and out, come on, just like you did for me?”
Katie sits there for what could be anywhere between several hours or just a few minutes, rambling about anything that comes to mind. She tells Kitty about the cherry blossom forest, the funny conversation she had that morning with Cherri, even what she had for breakfast. When she runs out of things to say she starts telling stories she remembers from her childhood about bears, knights and princesses.
Slowly, Kitty’s breathing calms, though she can still hear the occasional sniffle.
“I’m sorry.” It’s barely audible.
Katie nearly misses it, wrapped up in describing a tale about a little yellow bear obsessed with honey. And yet, somehow she still hears it.
“No! Don’t apologise! What kind of hypocrite would I be to judge you for that? I was the exact same like, an hour ago! It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell me all that, I mean that guy sounds absolutely horrid and cruel and just despicable!” A small giggle stops her from the beginning of another ramble. Kitty is looking at her now, tears still brimming but a small smile rests on his face.
“I meant, I'm sorry for kicking you.”
“Oh, that? Twas but a scratch! I've had worse sparring matches against..” She trails off. “It’s not important. Do you maybe want another hug? It’s alright if– oh!” A warm body slams into her, knocking the air out of her lungs. She nearly knocks her head on the headboard falling backwards, landing instead on the pillow.
Kitty’s hair tickles Katie’s nose and she has to hold back a sneeze.
She gently rubs the rogue’s back in what she hopes is a soothing manner, trying to mimic what her mother once did for her. Kitty shifts, moving to lay down next to the girl rather than on top of her, though she doesn’t let go.
“It’s alright. We are here, safe at home– our home.” She tries to echo the rogue's words from earlier, remembering the comfort it brought her.
“Shh, just hold on.”
Change of plans, she's going to sit there in silence.
“Can I stay here tonight?” Kitty whispers.
“Of course, this is your home.”
“No, here. You are very warm and you remind me of my night. Though, you are a little more strange.”
“Hey!” She pretends to be offended, lightly smacking the rogue who giggles in return. Kitty pretends to pout and Katie’s heart melts. “Alright, alright! Put those big eyes away! It might be a tight squeeze. You are going to have to deal with my loud snoring!” Kitty swats at her before begrudgingly getting up, grumbling the whole while.
The knight snorts before getting up as well, pulling back the covers. “Anyways, I have been having some pretty upsetting dreams, maybe having you there will chase away all the nightmares.” She gets back in bed, laying down and motioning for Kitty to lay down next to her. “Come here you big cat.”
Kitty lays down next to her, curling into her side and holding onto their arm tightly as if to make sure she can’t leave. It's a bit of a far stretch, but Katie manages to put out the lamp beside the bed, making the world go dark.
“Goodnight Katie the Brave.” Katie smiles.
“Goodnight Kitty the Cat.” Kitty giggles.
Having that body of warmth helped keep her grounded, sleep coming easily for the first time in a long time as dreams of a future with a friend at her side fills her head.