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Samwell Gotch is reasonable. Or so he is told.
He doesn't feel reasonable when Blanewell is born, and he realises he doesn’t have as much time with his mother as he did in the past. He cherished the handful of moments he had with her, between society events and obligations. He forgets his childish jealousy when his nanny distracts him with his favourite toy, and he turns back to the games he plays by himself, away from the eyes of his parents.
He doesn’t feel reasonable when he’s pulling Maxwell, snarling and kicking, away from Hatwell. When Roywell cheers on the violence and Wealwell is sick from it. It doesn’t feel reasonable to take the slow approach when any of his brothers are hurting, when Roywell gets in a scuffle with Johnwell and both won’t tell him why. He can’t protect them all the time, not when he’s away at school while everyone else is home. He wants to stay, to make sure they’re all safe, but it wouldn’t be the reasonable thing to do.
When Wealwell comes to him, sobbing, he doesn’t feel reasonable. He can only tell him not to anger Hatwell. But Samwell knows that won’t help. He knows that Wealwell knows that Hatwell will go after Maxwell instead if he can’t find Wealwell, and despite their youngest brother being an absolute menace, they both admire his tenacity and his commitment to being true to himself. The hopeless look in Wealwell’s eyes when the platitude leaves his tongue is going to haunt him until he dies.
Samwell Gotch is reasonable. It feels like a curse.
He swallows his pride and changes his major from physical chemistry to business accounting and hates every second of it. The content is the worst kind of dry. He doesn’t care for it at all. The people his father wants him to associate with are the scion of other wealthy houses, and they’re almost all completely insufferable. His other classmates either want nothing to do with him or they want him as a step in their ladder. It’s an utterly miserable experience, and he speeds through his courses to leave as soon as possible.
Samwell has his marriage arranged and it feels like the end of the world. He cannot rebel; it would be unreasonable. Luckily, he and Fiora come to an understanding - she wants to be here as much as he does, which is not at all. She is ruthless and stern, but they find enough common ground in comparing notes about their siblings. They both know they must keep up appearances.
His father calls him reasonable, and it’s done with a sneer on his face. It wasn’t always this way. It used to be praise to be reasonable, until Maxwell started using it. Now, his father only calls him reasonable when Samwell tries to tell him that some flight of fancy isn’t realistic. Reasonable now means disagreeable, and Samwell uses Fiora as an excuse to stay away from home.
Samwell Gotch is done being reasonable.
He visits the Revington campus for one of his physics classes and stumbles by accident into the kickboxing club’s practice session. It’s exhilarating. He finds himself sneaking in for the remainder of his university career. He’s never officially on the register, but a few dollars under the table means no one questions his presence. Training pulls him away from homework. He lets his grades slip from perfect to exemplary, and instead spends his time practising. Every bruise and scratch is evidence of his rebellion against being reasonable, against his father's expectations. He relishes the promise written into his skin, uses it to stand tall when class and life threaten to tear him down.
On the top of the flying beast, he stands with Maxwell. It feels unreasonable by all standards to leave behind status and wealth, heading towards uncertainty and adventure, but nothing has ever felt so correct in his bones. He feels it even when Hatwell crashes into him so hard he thinks he glimpses the afterlife, feels it when he opens his eyes to a dinosaur leaning over him. He swings up onto the deck of what he later learns is the Zephyr and is greeted by Wealwell crashing into him, holding him upright with the warmth and love he knows to expect from his steadiest brother. Samwell lifts his tired arms to wrap around Wealwell, and lets his younger brother hold him up.
In a hall in Zumhara, he chooses to remain on the adventure. He's done avoiding the unknown because there might be dead ends. He stays on the Zephyr the whole time they’re in Gath, learning about what it takes to keep the ship in the sky. He sees Wealwell and Maxwell off, preferring not to question the gleam in their eyes. He sends a letter to the family lawyer instructing him to update the terms of the trust, and another letter to Fiora to let her know his intentions. He gets a reply from her before they return to Zood. He smiles as he reads it, her thinly veiled reprimands and approval, then tucks it away, turning to the preparations to set sail once more.
On the deck of the Zephyr, gazing out at the endless sky, Wealwell and Maxwell beside him, Samwell breathes in the cool air, lets it settle into his bones. Maybe it isn’t reasonable, but he’s ready to take his life into his own hands.