Chapter Text
Mingi was used to being alone.
At five years, Mingi had started to realize that he was different. At eight, he had noticed the stares he had before been too young to comprehend. At twelve, his lack of friends had started to cause a distant feeling of loneliness. He had made peace with the fact that he wouldn’t make it past eighteen at the age of sixteen.
Now, at the age of 21, Mingi did not know why he was still alive. He’s been in and out of therapy for most of his life, seeing his therapist more often a week than his own parents. He’s never been able to finish school like everyone else. He’s switched therapists, switched treatments, every other year, therefore having been diagnosed with a variety of different mental illnesses he had over time given up on keeping count on. Though, there’s been something that all his former therapists had collectively agreed on; severe anxiety disorder and depression.
Although Mingi had been in treatment since a very young age, he still felt different. Different in a way that his anxiety and depression could not explain. But wondering about why he had never truly felt like he fit in with everyone around him had only given him headaches and had left a hollow feeling of disorientation in the past which is why he had eventually forced his mind into a suffocating emptiness.
His parents had started to worry, then. While Mingi had never really been a particularly energetic person, he had seemed like he had turned into a shell of the person he used to be. Mingi had rarely spoken, until he stopped. Mingi had barely been present, until he stopped showing up. Mingi had only ever felt strong emotions, until he stopped feeling any.
Now, about a month later, Mingi stood inside the hallway of the mental hospital he was forced to be living in for the next three months.
Mingi knew his parents had only wanted to help him, desperate and at a loss as to what was going on with their son, now entirely closed off and unreachable. He wasn’t mad at them, not in the slightest. He would have done the same if he had been in their position.
Fingers enclosed around the handle of his suitcase, he slowly took in his unfamiliar surroundings. The floor was a bright green, almost yellow, usually seen in regular hospitals. He had heard before that the bright color was supposed to conceal the dirt that gathered on the ground, but when Mingi’s eyes raked over it, he thought that if that had been the goal, it did a very poor job.
The wall to his right was overflowed with letters. When he started reading some of them, he realized they must have been written by patients who had finished their treatment and wanted to encourage and comfort everyone who had not yet reached the point of being recovered, as they all read similar encouragements like don’t let your fear define you or you are deserving of help. He thought it was as sweet as it was absurd.
Right in front of him, the hallway ended in wide-open double doors that led to yet another hallway, stretching from the left to the right. Before Mingi could take a step towards it, a female nurse appeared from the right side of the hallway, finding his gaze and approaching him with a comically wide smile. Mingi wondered if it was hard faking fondness.
“Hey, you must be Mingi!”, she greeted him in a cheerful voice, matching her cheerful expression. “Have you ever been to a mental health facility before?”
Mingi shook his head, eyes trained on the nametag adorning her plain shirt; Lee Harin.
“Oh, alright, I’ll tell someone to show you around, then, and get you acquainted to our rules.”
Before Mingi was able to react, which he hadn’t planned on doing anyway, she turned on her heels and strutted down the same hallway she had emerged from. Mingi followed her inside, his suitcase loudly trailing along, and when Mingi turned the corner, a long, plain hallway stretched out before him with multiple doors scattered on the left and right side. It looked exactly as plain and dull as he had always imagined mental health hospitals to look like from the inside, which was both surprising and not.
“Would you rather move into a single or shared room?”
When Mingi didn’t respond, Harin, which was apparently the nurse’s name, slowed her steps down a bit to look back at him over her shoulder.
Mingi pressed his lips into a thin line and averted his gaze which seemed to do the trick to make her realize that he wasn’t going to respond to her question, for she let out an audible breath and turned back around. “A shared room, it is, then.”
He intently rolled his eyes at her. It didn’t make a difference to him, anyway; he’d feel just as lonely in a shared room as in a single one.
Having almost reached the end of the hallway, Harin slowed down once again and came to a stop in front of a room on the right, the door matching the white walls around him with its light gray color. Mingi, who had stayed a few paces behind her, slowed down as well, the loud scraping caused by the wheels of the suitcase he dragged along coming to a stop with him. A jingling sound filled the now quiet air around them when Harin pulled a long chain with multiple keys out of the pocket of her pants, looking through them to find a fitting key to, Mingi guessed, unlock the room. Mingi wondered if it wasn’t considered an invasion of privacy to just unlock a room from someone without their permission, but he didn’t question.
When she opened the door, the room revealed nothing but darkness from the inside, entirely drained from light. Which Mingi found weird, considering the fact that it was barely even afternoon.
“Yunho? I got you a roommate. His name is Mingi. It’d be great if you could show him around, let him know our house rules, the schedule.”
For a moment, nothing happened. The silence stretched and just as Mingi started to question if someone was even in there, he heard shuffling and a small huff.
A few more seconds passed in which shuffling and the subtle squeaking of springs filled the air around them before a tall figure emerged from the shadows of the room, casually slumping against the doorframe.
Yunho, that was his name, apparently. He looked tired, like he’d just been asleep mere seconds ago, pillow creases gracing his right cheek. His blond hair was sleep tousled, yet in a way that made him look good, frustratingly good. Too good for someone who was supposed to have freshly rolled out of bed.
From a general perspective, Mingi had to admit that Yunho was handsome. His long but not too long hair framed him in a soft halo, complimenting his features perfectly, and Mingi was sure that a lot of girls would kill for his lashes. He was tall, about the same height as Mingi, maybe even a bit taller, with a lean build that gave away that he worked out, yet not too much. Basically, he looked like the embodiment of the stereotypical soft guy that every girl dreamt of marrying one day. The only thing destroying the seemingly perfect picture of him were the dark circles painting the skin under his eyes, the bandages covering his right arm and the fact that the bed he slept in every night was situated in a mental health facility.
Still slumped against the doorframe, Yunho blinked sluggishly, eyes still unfocused in sleep. He seemed to sober up, however, when he noticed Mingi standing beside the nurse, slightly hidden behind her frame, visibly tense with both of his hands clutching the handle of his suitcase like a lifeline.
“Oh, um.” Yunho’s voice escaped him in a hoarse rasp and he cleared his throat, grimacing while he swallowed. His voice was unexpectedly deep and Mingi wasn’t quite sure when his hands had started sweating. “Sure,” he continued, now much louder and clearer, “I can show him around. Better be me than someone else.”
And then, Yunho’s eyes finally fell on him, their gazes locking.
His eyes were a deep, dark brown, almost shining black due to the lack of light, swallowing his irises entirely. Mingi found himself lost in them, in the way they looked like two dark, endless pools, and he wondered if it would be possible for him to drown in them, too. If their tides were strong enough to pull him under, struggling for breath that he knew he wouldn’t be granted, before consuming him in his entirety.
Neither of them blinked for a moment, startled by the momentum.
And to make everything even worse, that fucker’s lips twitched into a small smile and he winked at him.
“Well, then.” A loud clap ripped Mingi out of… whatever it had been that just happened between them and he quickly averted his gaze. Mingi figured he should probably enter his room as well and awkwardly moved a few steps forward, Yunho stepping aside to make space for him. “Now that the basics are settled, take your time arriving here. With Yunho as your roommate, you should be just fine.”
The nurse gave Mingi one last encouraging smile before slipping out of the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click and leaving Mingi and Yunho in the darkness of their now shared room.
For a short moment, it was dead silent. Due to the lack of light in the room, Mingi didn’t see anything, could only guess the distance between him and Yunho, and therefore flinched violently when suddenly, the room got drenched in light.
Yunho had leant past him to flick the light switch to his right. He was a lot closer than Mingi felt comfortable with, left arm still resting against the light switch, caging him in, and he frantically turned his head away, avoiding Yunho’s eyes.
Yunho seemed to have gotten the hint, since he pulled his arm back and took a step away from him. He let out an awkward chuckle into the tense silence engulfing their room.
“Oh, uh, sorry about that. Just thought this room needed some light.”
Mingi continued staring at Yunho’s feet, clad in soft, mismatching socks.
Another beat of silence. Yunho’s feet didn’t move.
“Well… alright. It’s okay, I’ll just leave you to unpack in peace, for now.”
Mingi then watched Yunho’s feet retreating, moving away slowly and eventually disappearing from his line of sight. Though Yunho had sounded unsure of how to navigate the situation that just occurred, probably due to Mingi’s lack of talking, his voice still possessed a soft, comforting tone that reassured Mingi, in a way. Gave him the feeling that, though Mingi wasn’t talking, Yunho wouldn’t press. Not that Mingi cared much, though.
Soft music started playing, then. A slow R&B song that Mingi didn’t recognize. When Mingi carefully lifted his head then, Yunho was lying on his side on top of his sheets, back towards Mingi, while he lazily scrolled away on his phone. Yunho’s bed was situated against the far wall of their room and the other bed, which would now be Mingi’s for the next 3 months, was pushed against the wall right next to the door. Only then, when Yunho seemed to not pay him any attention anymore, did Mingi allow himself to slowly move further into the room, moving his suitcase in front of his bed and sitting down on the freshly made, neatly arranged sheets.
Before he started unpacking his suitcase, Mingi let his gaze wander. He took in his surroundings, taking his time eyeing the fairly plain room he was in.
The walls were painted white, just like the rest of the building’s insides, with small doodles from possibly former patients interrupting the perfectness here and there. Next to both his and Yunho’s beds stood a small nightstand each. To the door’s right, pushed against the wall, stood two plain wooden closets pushed together. In the right corner of the room stood a small wooden desk of the same light brown color as the closets, along with a chair pushed against it, and there were loose sheets of paper scattered all over the surface of the desk, creating a chaotic picture. A grey jacket hung over the chair’s backrest and lots of other clothes were piled on its seat. Mingi rather easily guessed that the desk must belong to Yunho. There was another desk in the room, looking fairly naked in comparison, though that one was pushed against the wall to Mingi’s left, interrupting the space between Mingi’s and Yunho’s beds.
Right above Yunho’s bed, hanging over his head, was a wooden platform. Mingi found that same one over his bed as well when he turned around to check. He figured it was intended for putting up pictures and posters. Not that Mingi owned any. And from what he could see, Yunho didn’t, either.
Mingi then took a closer look at Yunho’s side of the room. While his desk and chair screamed chaos, the rest of his room was fairly empty. There was a rather thick book on his nightstand and a single picture frame. When Mingi tried to take a closer look at the picture inside displayed, he found it to be empty, a black void staring back at him. Odd, Mingi thought.
Everything about Yunho seemed… odd.
Mingi chose not to dwell on it, though, because he didn’t even really care, anyway. He pushed every thought about Yunho aside for later and, now certain of the fact that Yunho wouldn’t try to talk to him again for today, started unpacking his suitcase.
---
“Okay, so, this right here is the nurse’s room. Or, well, it isn’t really much of a room for nurses, but that’s the room in which they spend their time. Y’know, gossiping about us, eating their lunch, writing their assessments. It’s also situated right here in the middle of the floor so that the nurses can easily keep an eye on us and we can reach them easily whenever we need help.”
Mingi had wanted to nap. After he finished unpacking, he had laid down on his bed, intending to just close his eyes for a while and get an energy refill, but apparently, that short period of silence must’ve been some kind of indicator for Yunho that Mingi was ready, jumping up from his bed with newfound energy and coaxing Mingi into following him around so that Yunho could show him everything and get him acquainted to the house’s rules.
And Yunho talked. A lot. While Mingi had expected Yunho to radiate some kind of sunshine energy, he was yet overwhelmed with the energy Yunho had in his movements while he just continued rambling on in that soft, deep voice of his. Mingi couldn’t help but think to himself that he seemed more like a playful puppy. He could practically envision his tail wagging frantically in excitement.
Yunho didn’t even seem to care about the fact that Mingi didn’t respond to him, about his obvious lack of energy in comparison. He just seemed happy to be able to help him out and ramble his ears off. Mingi wasn’t sure if he appreciated that or silently cursed him for it.
To the nurse’s room’s right side was another room, its double glass doors opening into a well-lit kitchen, making the room seem open and approachable. Said kitchen was also the one Yunho now turned to after he finished rambling, taking the lead and skipping inside before turning back around to Mingi with a broad smile.
“This is our kitchen,” he explained animatedly, opening his arms and twirling to show it off. Mingi remained standing in the doorway, hesitating. The kitchen was large, its enormousness just as inviting as intimidating.
Yunho noticed him hanging back, of course he did, and his gaze softened in understanding, a silent reassurance radiating off his features now. He broke their eye contact for a moment to direct his attention to the part of the kitchen that stayed yet concealed from Mingi’s line of sight.
“If you ever want a quiet, open room for whatever reason, the kitchen would be the perfect place. Right now, there’s only Yeosang and Seonghwa in here. They mostly use this room to read in peace, away from their roommates.” Yunho looked back towards him and sent him a short wink, the second one today. Mingi hoped his glare held enough fire to communicate how much he disapproved of it.
A soft, deep giggle followed Yunho’s words. Then, Mingi mutedly heard that same voice countering, “Trust me, if you had someone as insufferable as Hongjoong as your roommate, you’d be glad for an escape every once in a while, too.”
A fond laugh escaped Yunho and they exchanged a few more quiet words with each other. Mingi didn’t get anything of what they talked about, so he tuned them out, picking at his cuticles.
When Mingi still didn’t move from the threshold after a while, Yunho turned his full attention back to him. Mingi could feel his gaze on him and looked back up from his fingers, meeting Yunho’s searching eyes.
Mingi didn’t know how he did that, but Yunho had a way of making him feel as if every time he looked into his eyes, he was able to read the contents of his soul as well. And Mingi was utterly helpless to it, surrendered to the depth of his care, quietly let it happen. For the very first time, he felt like he was easy to read, his soul an open book to the intensity of Yunho’s searching eyes, heart served on a silver platter, raw and open and vulnerable.
Yunho tilted his head then, gesturing ever-so-slightly inside the room, inviting him in. Mingi didn’t know why he moved then, hesitatingly setting one foot in front of the other. Maybe it was because of Yunho’s general reassuring aura, he wasn’t sure.
Lips twitching into a small smile, Yunho stepped aside for Mingi to join his side and gestured to the two boys Mingi now found on the left side of the room. One of them was sitting by the table, legs tucked against his chest and a book carefully balanced on his knees, while the other was sitting on the floor behind him, sprawled against the fridge, his own book shut close and lying to his right.
Yunho pointed towards the darkhaired guy sitting by the table first, smile stretching wide. “This is Seonghwa. Really nice, reads basically all day and roommates with infamous Hongjoong,” Yunho lowered his voice, bending down slightly to whisper into his ear, “trust me, you’ll know it’s him when you see him, he just has that aura.” He then raised his voice a little, locking eyes with Seonghwa. “He will make sure you know everything about him, though, before you even get the chance to meet him.”
“Hey!” Seonghwa playfully glared at Yunho, picking up a crumpled napkin on the table and launching it at him. Yunho giggled and failed to dodge, the napkin hitting him in the chest. He gasped exaggeratedly. “Park Seonghwa, that counts as physical assault!”
Seonghwa just shrugged in amusement, seemingly uninterested. His rather long, dark hair was pulled back messily, the escaped strands framing his rather soft features in neat layers. His golden skin looked soft and smooth and he wore comfortable-looking grey sweatpants and a simple, metallic blue sweater that seemed at least two sizes too big for him, and Mingi couldn’t help but think that he looked really beautiful, even while clad in rather unflattering clothes. Really, Seonghwa seemed like someone who could wear just about anything and make it look good and stylish, and Mingi found himself wishing he could say the same for himself. Seonghwa radiated confidence and neatness, but at the same time a deep warmth and care. He seemed like someone anyone would trust with their deepest secrets, like someone people would ask for advice and go to for comfort. Basically, Seonghwa seemed like everything Mingi desperately wanted to be but couldn’t.
Seonghwa shifted his attention to Mingi, then, dark, soft eyes trained on him. “Please, don’t mind him, he just loves being dramatic.”
Mingi felt uneasy with Seonghwa’s focus now on him, his mouth opening around words that never escaped, his mind racing with how he was supposed to react. Before he even could, though, Yunho was already speaking again.
“And this, right there against the fridge, is Yeosang.” Said guy raised his head at Yunho’s words, having continued reading in the meantime of Yunho’s and Seonghwa’s antics. He shut his book, put it next to him on the floor again and smiled sunnily, sitting up straighter and crossing his legs in a rather adorable manner.
His sunny blond hair looked unruly and fluffy, but in a way that strangely fit to him. If Seonghwa’s features seemed soft already, Yeosang’s were even gentler. While they were surely defined and almost sculpture-like, it only needed one smile of his to brighten up his entire face, making him look painfully endearing. He wore worn-down converse, wide, light blue jeans and a matching pastel blue cardigan thrown over a plain white shirt, its sleeves long enough for only his fingers to peek out. All in all, he radiated softness in every sense, and Mingi was almost fascinated by the way Yeosang seemed like someone incapable of hiding even a sliver of his personality, soul and heart out in the open for everyone to access. Mingi almost found himself worrying about him, then. To possess a soul as gentle and open as his in a world this rough was dangerous.
“He’s mostly quiet but don’t let yourself get fooled by that,” Yunho continued enthusiastically, “he just needs to get comfortable around you and then he’ll turn into one of the most talkative and funniest people I know.” Yeosang sent Yunho a pointed look, his lips pressing together in a rather adorable pout. Judging from Yeosang’s general sunny personality, it wasn’t hard to believe Yunho’s words. “Yeosang hates when I expose him, but it’s too much fun teasing him. He’s also one of the cutest people you’ll probably ever meet and one of the kindest people on planet earth.”
“I’m not cute!” Yeosang interrupted, almost comically offended. Mingi was more than just slightly taken aback by his incredibly deep voice in comparison to his soft looks. Yunho rolled his eyes in a fond scoff and bent down to ruffle Yeosang’s hair, who reacted with a scowl. “Sure you aren’t.” Straightening and turning back to Mingi, Yunho went on with his introduction. “Everyone here loves him – it’s really hard not to, honestly. And everyone’s really protective over him as well, so if anyone was to ever try and hurt him, we’d all beat them to the ground.”
Yunho looked proud of his finishing sentence and Yeosang scoffed behind him, flushed red from embarrassment. “I can take care of myself just fine, thank you.”
Yunho sighed dramatically and lowered himself to the ground before Yeosang. Mingi watched all of it unfold before him, entirely dumbfounded. “Honey, we all know that technically, you can, but you won’t. That’s the issue.”
Yeosang just rolled his eyes at that, not able to counter Yunho’s statement, and Yunho grinned triumphantly while Yeosang turned his head away, face still tinged pink. “See? You know I’m right.” He turned his head around to look back at Mingi. “He knows I’m right.”
Mingi nodded solemnly, fiddling with his fingers and awkwardly shuffling his feet. This entire situation was… overwhelming. Seonghwa and Yeosang seemed nice, but Yunho seemed to get along with them so well already and Mingi didn’t know if he’d ever get to the point of being able to feel as comfortable around them as they did around one another. He felt like he didn’t fit in, stuck out like a sore thumb, something he was already used to. But this time, for some reason, he found himself hoping that this time would be different. He found himself wanting to become as comfortable around them as Yunho already was, and his worries of not being able to adapt due to his mental state suddenly came crashing down on him at once. Why was it that even in a mental health facility, everyone seemed to be doing so much better than him? Why did he still feel so out of place, as if he was still too broken in a place full of broken people?
It didn’t seem fair. Even here, they all seemed to just have that little something Mingi seemed to just lack, and he was just so damn fucking tired.
Having lost himself in his own thoughts, Mingi didn’t even notice when Yunho left the kitchen, only yanked out of his own mind when Yunho suddenly appeared from his left, evading his line of sight, startling him.
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked lowly, making sure not to be too loud as to not attract attention, eyes gentle and searching. His eyes were always just so damn full of worry, of empathy and concern and it frustrated Mingi to no end. Mingi did not need gentle. Mingi did not need worry, concern, or pity. He had never had anyone feeling those things for him before and he certainly did not need Yunho to think it made any difference if he started with that now. It was annoying.
Mingi had spent his entire life not being seen. He did not need Yunho to try and do so now.
Mingi was better alone, anyway. He’s always been.
Yunho seemed noticeably startled by the hardness suddenly overcoming his features, creating a small distance between them. A small flicker of hurt flashed over his features, quickly concealed by that same unwavering excitement from before. “Lost you there for a second.” He left the kitchen again, lingering in the hallway, waiting for Mingi, steady smile on his face. “Follow me? I wanna show you the rest of our building, too.”
Yunho didn’t wait for a response, just turned around and walked further into the hallway, expecting Mingi to follow after him. And Mingi did, pushing every lingering thought aside without care, forcing his mind into a suffocating emptiness. Something he’d become more than used to over time. Something he’d become scarily good at.
He didn’t notice the sudden tightness to Yunho’s smile. He certainly didn’t notice the careful way Yunho closed himself off after that.
He didn’t.
---
They had been sitting on their respective beds in silence for about an hour now. A glance at the digital clock Mingi had put on his nightstand told him that they would be having dinner in 15 minutes, Mingi’s first meal with all the other patients of the station.
Apart from Seonghwa and Yeosang, Mingi hadn’t met anyone else yet. A fact he was actually quite happy about, since he didn’t know how to feel about living in an environment specifically made out for people struggling. Everyone knew he was struggling, a fact he wasn’t quite comfortable with yet. So he was glad to not have met any of the others yet – two people had been more than enough for now.
But his clock told him that he would only have several more minutes enjoying that peace before he would have to face the others nevertheless, regardless of his unease about it. He let out a harsh breath at that.
Yunho hadn’t spoken to him since they returned to their room, once again turned away from him, scrolling away on his phone. There was, once again, music playing in the background, this time a gentle classical piece, dominated by piano. Mingi found he didn’t mind the music – found that it was better than the deafening silence that would be his other option.
After what happened in the kitchen, Yunho pretended nothing happened. He ended up finishing his house tour with the same eager enthusiasm he had started it with, while Mingi had lost focus more and more towards the end. But, again, Yunho didn’t seem affected. He didn’t seem to be affected by anything, really, his excitement unwavering and everlasting.
A sound of ruffling sheets reached his ears and Mingi, who had fully intended on spacing out again until dinner, felt his attention spike again at the sound. Yunho’s voice interrupting the former silence surrounding them didn’t come as a surprise to him; he’d already anticipated it. “Just as a warning, dinner will probably be very chaotic. Our current group is quite a chaotic one in general, but especially at dinner they tend to have even more pent up energy to release.”
Mingi spared Yunho a small glance, feigning disinterest. Yunho, however, looked as bright as ever, his smile gentle, yet certain. As always, Yunho didn’t seem to mind Mingi’s silence. “And today there’s another patient joining us too, so there’s that.” Yunho broke eye contact and let himself slump against his pillows with a heavy sigh. “You should be afraid of Wooyoung, just to warn you. He tends to basically vibrate out of his skin whenever someone new joins us.”
Though his words came out exaggeratingly exasperated, they were tainted in a fond tone, and when Mingi carefully peered at Yunho’s expression, lying on the bed against the far wall of the room, Yunho’s lips were twisted into a gentle, barely noticeable, upturn. Mingi couldn’t help it when he felt his own lips twitching in response to his affection, glad about the fact that Yunho was facing the wall in front of him, unable to see Mingi secretly sneaking a glance at him from the other side of the room.
A comfortable hush of quietness engulfed them once again, filled with only the quiet thrum of a piano still playing in the background. When Yunho spoke again, his voice seemed lower, softer. “Seonghwa and Yeosang really seemed to like you, though.” Just as Mingi was about to turn his head towards Yunho, brows furrowed in confusion, Yunho was quick to continue, “I know that’s hard to believe, since you didn’t say anything, really. But from what I’ve noticed they seemed to carry themselves pretty comfortably around you. Makes me kind of happy.”
Mingi was quick to face the wall to his right in a, hopefully, subtle movement, before Yunho would be able to notice the faint blush that had arisen in his cheeks and slowly dragged down his neck. That didn’t seem to do much, though, since he heard Yunho chuckling lightly, lowly. “You know, your ears get so red every time you get flustered. Turning around doesn’t really do much.”
Alarmed, Mingi whipped his head around to throw an embarrassed glare in Yunho’s direction, which only made the other’s laugh intensify in amusement. “It’s fine, don’t worry. It’s cute.”
The unexpected, easy endearment that fell from Yunho’s lips made Mingi stutter on an intake of breath. Oddly, Yunho didn’t seem affected at all, though – as if the compliment that had just escaped him was the most normal thing to say on earth.
Mingi really could not fathom how Yunho could just… do all that. Yunho was so deeply confusing, everything about him affecting Mingi in a way he couldn’t understand yet, as if the meaning of it all was just barely out of his reach, fleeing from his desperate grasp trying to make sense of all the slivers of personality Mingi had noticed about Yunho today already.
He’s only been here for one day, not even 24 hours, and Mingi felt like he knew him too well already. Noticed too much. Mingi just seemed to notice so damn much about him and he really could not fathom if that was due to Yunho’s very openly enthusiastic personality or something else entirely. The last thing Mingi wanted right now, though, was to dwell on it, already feeling overwhelmed with the overall events of today, so he just turned to lay on his side, back facing Yunho, pulling the sheets over his head.
Once again silence. This time, it felt somehow charged, and Mingi could practically hear Yunho pondering over what to say.
“How long…” Yunho stopped, and Mingi was surprised by how hesitant he sounded. “How long will you stay?”
Releasing a breath, Mingi turned back around again, meeting Yunho’s eyes. He looked uncertain, a look that was admittedly new on him. Yunho, patient as ever, waited for a response, eyes locked onto his, while Mingi just blinked at him. A few moments passed, neither of them saying anything, until silent acceptance passed over Yunho’s features, his chest rising in an intake of breath.
For a short moment, Mingi fully expected him to say something. To address Mingi’s silence, his lack of words, the fact that he hasn’t spoken a single word ever since his arrival. Mingi wasn’t unfamiliar to them, learned to expect the questions and how to react upon them, and he inwardly shielded himself, prepared for it, exhaustion clouding his mind. But, unlike anything he would’ve expected, Yunho just put on a smile again, radiating warmth, comfort, and, most importantly, Mingi felt like Yunho was silently trying to communicate with him using his smile. As if it was meant to silently assure him that Yunho understood, that he accepted, and he just quietly left it uncommented.
Mingi couldn’t process, an onslaught of emotions hitting him all at once. He couldn’t digest, comprehend or work through any of it, like his mind came to a halt and broke off into chaos all at once, and throughout it all Yunho tilted his head slightly, asking instead, “Will you stay here for three months?”
Another question, but the meaning of it, the difference of it, didn’t go unnoticed to Mingi. He had noticed, and he had adapted. Not tried to question, to dig further into it, he just adapted. And, as a response, Mingi hesitated only shortly before he gave him a slight nod, answering his question.
Studying Mingi’s reaction, Yunho’s smile widened ever-so-slightly at his nod. “Oh, finally! I’ll finally have someone sharing my room for more than just a few days at most.” He rubbed his eyes and crossed his legs on the bed, facing Mingi entirely now, his socked toes wiggling in enthusiasm. “You can’t even imagine how tiring it was, always getting roommates and showing them around just for them to leave again after a short time.”
Mingi just smiled softly in response – the slightest, barest hint of a smile, but it was there. And Yunho seemed to have noticed it, judging from the way his entire face seemed to light up afterwards. Mingi found it to be almost… endearing.
The moment had to end abruptly, though, when Yunho took a fleeting glance at the clock – both of them had completely forgotten about the time. Yunho gasped, sat up on the bed and exclaimed, “Oh, dinner already started!” He jumped up, rubbing his eyes roughly, a yawn escaping him. His hair was a mess, sticking up in every direction, but to Yunho, it just seemed to fit.
He launched towards the door, halting shortly in front of Mingi’s bed, arm stretching towards him as if he had absentmindedly wanted to grab him and pull him up to drag him along. Realization hit Yunho in the last second, though, and he hesitated, looking lost, warily pulling his arm back in mid-movement as if unsure if he was allowed to touch Mingi. And, for some reason, Mingi felt himself wanting to assure him, wanting to tell him that yes, Yunho was allowed to touch him, even found himself yearning for it in a way he couldn’t quite grasp yet. So instead, he just didn’t do anything, pointedly pretending he didn’t notice the way Yunho’s hand had faltered, just standing up from his own bed and following Yunho out the door onto the corridor.
The soft sound of voices mingling together greeted them upon entering the hallway, indicating that Yunho had been right about the chatty atmosphere at dinner. The closer they got, the louder the noises became, and when they entered the kitchen, nobody really seemed to notice, too emerged in their own conversations.
One head, though, perked up upon their entry – Yeosang’s head slowly lifted towards them, not having been too entangled in conversation due to his quiet demeanor, and as he recognized Yunho entering with Mingi, his lips tugged into an earnest smile. “You guys came!”
As soon as the words left Yeosang’s mouth, several more heads snapped in their direction, the thrum of conversations momentarily quieting down.
“Yunho!!” One voice exclaimed loudly, excitedly, startling Mingi slightly. He looked around the table to search for the source of the voice and found that it belonged to a guy with sheer black hair, softly framing his face. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out who the voice belonged to, since the guy seemed to be the center of the conversation, basking in the attention and radiating an energy that was both intense and almost too social.
Said guy directed his gaze onto Mingi now, a wide smirk stretching across his face. Mingi felt somewhat intimidated. “And you must be the new one! Come on, guys, I saved you seats across from me.”
Letting Yunho lead and step forwards first, Mingi nervously followed him onto a seat on the right, Yunho claiming the seat against the wall. Now sitting across from them, the guy with the black hair eyed Mingi for a short moment, before he twirled his knife and continued, “My name’s Wooyoung. I bet Yunho already told you lots about me, though.” Wooyoung accompanied the jab with a pointed look in Yunho’s direction, to which Yunho just gasped dramatically. “Me?! Now, why would you assume I was talking about you?”
“Because I know you, sweetheart,” Wooyoung scoffed, popping a slice of tomato into his mouth. “And I know that you warn people of me. Which,” Wooyoung raised his voice again, “is totally unreasonable. You always ruin my first impression before I even get to.”
The table erupted in laughter at that, Wooyoung putting on an exaggerated pout, and Mingi was surprised to see Yeosang, who was sitting next to Wooyoung, jab him in the side with a fond expression. “Trust me, Woo, it’s not even possible for Yunho to worsen your first impression. In fact, I actually think people are glad he gives them a heads-up before you immediately jump them with your overenthusiasm.”
Wooyoung let his jaw drop open with feigned outrage, to which Yeosang just burst into laughter. “…And here I thought we were friends, Sangie.”
The conversations at the table slowly thrummed to life once more, and Mingi zoned out for a short while, look directed on his still-empty plate, overwhelmed. That was, until Mingi got interrupted by Wooyoung trying to get his attention, whisper-shouting his name. His name that Wooyoung for some reason already seemed to know, but he figured that might be because of the single new name that was now sprawled onto the whiteboard in the hallway, the patient’s names on it for everyone else to see. “Actually, Sangie just pretends he hates my energy. Believe me, whenever he sneaks into my room at night, he turns into a completely different person. You should absolutely see it, someday.”
Mingi sent Wooyoung a tight smile, who was bent over the table to discreetly whisper to him, entirely dumbfounded and confused as to how to act with Wooyoung unexpectedly addressing him when they barely even knew each other. When the conversations around them went on, Mingi spaced out once again, eyes trained on his fiddling fingers.
After some time, he felt the weight of eyes on him. Then, a gentle nudge to his side. Mingi blinked, clearing the fog in his mind, and turned slightly to his right. As expected, Yunho was already watching him, catching his gaze in those deep, ever-caring brown eyes of his.
“You okay?” he whispered, his voice low enough for nobody else to hear. Mingi contemplated for a few seconds, before he gave a weak nod. Yunho’s eyes stayed on him, though, watching, analyzing, ever-so observant. Then, he just smiled softly.
His eyes flicked downwards, noticing Mingi’s empty plate. Looking back up, Yunho caught Mingi’s gaze before he tilted his head towards the toast on the table, a silent question. When Mingi nodded lightly once again, Yunho reached out, took a toasted slice and put it on his own plate.
Yunho went to grab the butter, but before he could spread it, he sought out Mingi’s eyes once again. When Mingi shook his head, he put it down again and went to grab the cheese instead, holding eye contact once more. Mingi nodded, and Yunho took the package and put cheese on the toast – just plain cheese. Then, he wordlessly put the toast on Mingi’s plate.
This time, Mingi was the one who sought out Yunho’s gaze, but Yunho just continued talking to the person in front of him like nothing happened. Pretending as if everything was perfectly normal.
It wasn’t, though. Mingi felt confused, and overwhelmed, and his stomach did a weird swoop he desperately felt like clawing away. His mind was racing, heat creeping up his neck, and he was so utterly confused. He remembered, then, what Yunho had said to him earlier.
‘You know, your ears get so red every time you get flustered.’
Mingi shook his head, willing his thoughts into silence, but nothing seemed to work.
‘It’s fine, don’t worry. It’s cute.’
And while Mingi wished for the earth to swallow him whole, he spared a glance at Yunho’s own plate, left empty.
---
Dinner had dragged itself, seemingly taking forever. After a while, Mingi became slightly more accustomed to the atmosphere, to the way they all seemed comfortable around one another. Over the course of dinner, Mingi had learned the names of the patients he had not seen before (which was mostly thanks to Wooyoung eagerly introducing everyone).
There was Hongjoong, whom Mingi had already guessed the name of, like Yunho had predicted he would, sitting across from Seonghwa at the far end of the table. His style was quite unique, his outfit carefully put together, with multiple piercings adorning both of his ears. He looked rather small, but he radiated an energy that was calm and sort of anchoring. Similar to Seonghwa’s, but while Seonghwa was more of a soothing, comforting force, Hongjoong was steady, solid. Mingi noticed that due to those qualities, Hongjoong and Seonghwa seemed to complement one another perfectly, their dynamic seeping through with a deep care, Hongjoong giving out napkins to Seonghwa every once in a while, and Seonghwa thanking him with gentle smiles.
San was the first name he knew, since Wooyoung immediately went to introduce him to Mingi. He was the guy who had been sitting across from Yunho, to Wooyoung’s left, and the first thing Mingi had noticed about him was that he looked sort of intimidating. It only took one conversation with him, though, to realize that even though his appearance might have seemed intimidating, he wasn’t at all. Wooyoung and him had a dynamic that was interesting to watch – while Wooyoung was pure energy and chaos, San seemed like the calm to his storm. While he did seem just as talkative and energetic as Wooyoung himself, he seemed calmer, more collected, like controlled chaos while Wooyoung was anything but.
And then there was Jongho, who had sat to Mingi’s left. While he hadn't talked much during dinner, he seemed really nice, throwing words into conversations here and there to contribute but not saying much else. He did laugh, though, heartily even, when the others around him joked around, especially when Yeosang said something funny, which, Mingi found out, happened quite often. Though Yeosang seemed fairly quiet around the others, he surely had the ability to say things guaranteed to make everyone around the table laugh.
Now, back in his shared room with Yunho, the sun had already set. Yunho had been away for some time for one of his daily sessions – something Mingi had been spared of today, since it was his very first day and the nurses let him get used to everything first. The bright light from earlier was now turned off, a small lamp above Yunho’s bed turned on instead, drenching only a small part of the room in a warm light. Mingi knew he had that same lamp over his bed but had decided not to turn it on, comfortable with Yunho’s lamp as their only light source. There was still music playing, the soft melody filling the comfortable silence settled around them – Mingi wondered if Yunho ever turned it off.
Mingi let the entire day wash over him, trying to process all the things that happened. He was overwhelmed – everything was new, unusual, and he had a hard time adapting to the environment. He had pulled his sheets up to his neck, facing the wall, wearing his headphones but leaving them turned off, just to dull the sounds a bit.
“Still awake?”
Yunho’s voice suddenly filled their mutually quiet space, and for a moment, Mingi didn’t react. Then, he exhaled and slowly turned around, facing Yunho now.
Yunho was clad in soft-looking, light blue pajamas, feet bare. He sat, once again, with his legs crossed on the bed, body facing Mingi.
“I know today might have been a lot to take in, but I promise you’ll get used to it in no time,” Yunho assured Mingi, his lips slightly upturned. Mingi just pulled his sheets up higher, covering the low part of his face. Yunho sighed defeatedly, before he turned towards the light switch, hand resting on it. “I’ll be going to sleep now, so I’m gonna turn that light off, if that’s okay for you.”
Mingi gave a small nod, and with that, Yunho sent him one last smile, before he turned the light off and shuffled under the covers. “Good night, Mingi.”
After the shuffling of sheets stopped, Yunho seemingly having found a comfortable position to sleep in, Mingi figured it would probably do him well to try and sleep as well, since tomorrow, he’d slowly start with his regular schedule. The thought already made him feel uneasy.
Taking his headphones off, he was just about to place them on his nightstand, before something caught his eyes in the darkness. Something white that stuck to the side of his nightstand, something that hadn’t been there before.
Frowning, Mingi reached towards it, realizing that it was a white sticky note that had been stuck to his nightstand. Since it was dark, Mingi couldn’t make out what was written on it, and he hastily felt around for his phone and turned on the flashlight to illuminate the sticky note.
We’ve only met today, but I already feel comfortable around you. Take your time adapting, and I’ll try my best to help you with that, too! Hope you have a good sleep :)
Heat rose into his cheeks so fast he felt slightly dizzy. The handwriting was messy, several words and lines crossed out, scribbled over beyond comprehension, as if the writer had been struggling trying to find the right words.
Sparing a glance towards Yunho’s side of the room, Mingi was pretty sure he knew who had left the note, a warm sensation spreading in his abdomen and still simmering, even when he laid back down and sleep finally caught up to him.