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The boys in my dorm were all sleeping already, being exhausted from the nerves and excitement of the evening. Of course it was exciting for them. They all came from magical families and they all waited years for this moment. I, on the other hand, have just learned about this all a month ago. In my case it was mostly nerves from the thought that there was probably a mistake made when Hagrid came to tell me. Now though I was mostly frustrated that I didn’t manage to talk the Sorting Hat into placing me in Gryffindor.
As I turn onto the other side of the most comfortable bed I’ve every slept in I utter a quiet sigh, looking out of the windows far above my bed. They were dark green and didn’t do much in terms of light, because it was obviously filtered through the Great Lake we crossed to get to the castle. It looked a little creepy. And just as I had that thought a little creature I’ve never seen before pressed it’s face against the glass, sticking out its tongue and showing a row of sharp, wicked teeth.
I sat up with a start, heart jumping in my chest, eyes fixes on the thing outside the window. It can‘t get in, I knew that much, but I definitely wouldn’t be able to shut my eyes with it still gawking at me. Standing up I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders and padded to the door, still eying the creature distrustfully. It was way too cold in the dungeons – and the thought alone that we were thrown into the dungeons was – was … it was like getting the rug pulled out from under my feet. Since Hagrid came to get me on my birthday I thought Hogwarts would be this big chance at happiness. The place I’d find people like me and maybe even a friend or two.
But Ron already wouldn’t look at me at the feast, because I landed here. The least liked house in the whole school, thrown into literal dungeons where the floor was ice cold and creepy things stared at you from outside the window.
I have the feeling that I shouldn’t be surprised that I ended up in Slytherin. I never knew anyone who liked me and now with the rest of the castle against the very house that fits my character best was kind of a consolidation of that knowledge.
The door opened smoothly without a sound and I stepped into a pitch black hallway. Breathing quickening in fright I tried to remember the way to the common room and stumbled up a flight of stairs. Reaching blindly for the handle when I came upon a door I opened it in a haste and stumbled into the dimly lit room, panting in relief, nearly able to cry.
„What are you doing up, little one?“ a male voice had my heart pounding against my ribs again painfully as I whipped my head up. Three older boys, maybe 15 or 16, were sitting on the dark couches around the fire, looking at me curiously.
What to do now? I hadn’t considered the possibility of someone else being awake when I sneaked out of the dormitory, but now – embarrassment flooded me from head to toe and I could feel myself getting beet red.
„I – I was just -“, I stammered stupidly, drawing my blanket tighter around me to shield myself from their eyes.
„Can‘t sleep, huh? I bet it’s scary, being so far from home.“ The teen smiled and patted the cushion beside him. „Why don’t you come here for a moment and calm down.“
Perplexed about this kind of reaction from people everyone referred to as evil I could only stare. After so many horror stories from Ron on the train, the chilled atmosphere at the feast – or was that just me, being prejudiced because of what I thought I knew?
„Get your ass over here, baby-face,“ another boy grunted in annoyance at me needing so long and that was a tone I could identify, something I knew in a world so new and overwhelming. I scuttled towards him and sat down next to him, still holed up in my blanket.
„You really should stop with the cursing in front of the little ones. You know they copy it. It’s creepy to have an eleven year old communicate solely on F-words,“ the one who first invited me tutted with lifted eyebrows but the one beside me only shrugged carelessly.
„Im Adrian, by the way. This is Terence and the big grump beside you is Marcus. Don’t listen to anything he says,“ the teen introduced everyone with a friendly smile that was probably meant to put me at ease. It didn’t. Nice smiles weren’t to be trusted, nothing good ever came from them. I remember a teacher once smiling at me like that before talking to my aunt about how good I did at my maths. I wasn’t allowed out of my cupboard for half a week and I was never allowed to do my homework again.
I scooted over to Marcus, who looked like he had to eat something nasty and didn’t want to swallow it and I instantly liked him.
„Hello,“ I mumbled lowly with a shy look to the teen on the opposite couch, who looked so amused I felt like he was laughing at me. I scooted another few inches over.
They soon fell back into a conversation not concerning me and as they spoke of potion classes and pumpkin pie I felt my eyes droop shut. Swaying slightly where I sat I lay down to the side, head landing on hard thighs. I startled.
„Stay still, for fucks sake. Get some sleep, baby-face,“ Marcus grumbled deeply in his chest and I felt the vibrations, being this near to him. Despite his tone the message was clear and caring and it was probably only because he didn’t know me better yet, that he still thought I’d be worth nice words, but from him, I took them and hold them tighter then my blanket. My head came to rest on his lap again and while they continued on the topic of lack of coffee at breakfast – what do we look like, fucking babies drinking cocoa? – I made a blind grab for the wide hand that lay on the armrest, closing tentative fingers around it.
And even though the conversation stuttered a few seconds, I fell asleep to the assuring squeeze of fingers around mine and the bright flare of hope that maybe ending up a Slytherin wasn’t so bad at all.