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Finally Sauli pulled away and looked up at Adam. They stared at each other for a few minutes. Then Adam touched Sauli’s face with his hand and leaned down to kiss him. It was a simple touch of lips, but it shook Sauli to the core. He all but jumped away from Adam.
“We need to talk first, Adam. We are doing it wrong again.”
Adam sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I guess talking would have been a good idea in the first place?”
Sauli snorted bitterly. “I tried, but some things just don’t come over well through Skype, you know?”
~ ♥ ~
Adam huffed at that. “You didn’t really try, Sauli. We just stopped to talk at all. And I don’t understand why. I keep thinking where did we go wrong and how things got that silent between us. We used to be loud even when we didn’t say anything. You were always talking to me and then you just stopped.”
Sauli throw his hands in the air. “I didn’t stop talking to you all of sudden, you just didn’t listen anymore. I was trying not to blame you, because you were busy, but in the end I did. I missed you.”
~ ♥ ~
Adam closed his eyes, anger slowly making its way towards his mouth. “You blame me? I was busy, you know? It’s not like I was sitting around doing nothing! I was travelling and working, Sauli.”
Sauli flinched. “I know that, Adam. I’m not blaming you, not completely at least. It is my fault as much as it is yours. We just let things run towards an end and didn’t stop them. I just hoped you would fight for me.”
The last words were just whispered and Sauli was fighting against tears. Maybe they should have talked about this all earlier.
~ ♥ ~
Adam stared with wide eyes at Sauli. It seemed like all the anger just disappeared at those words. “You wanted me to fight? Sauli, I never thought there was a chance. I wanted you to be happy and you weren’t. There was this chance for your career and I thought I owed you that chance. That I owed you to set you free.”
Sauli looked in Adam’s eyes, tears now clear in his own. He whispered. “What if I never wanted to be set free? What if I just wanted you to see me again the way you used to?”
~ ♥ ~
Tears spilled over and ran down Sauli’s cheeks. “What if I just wanted you to tell me to stay?”
Adam swallowed hard. “But I told you to stay. I sang it only for you. But it didn’t seem to change anything.”
Sauli sniffed. “It didn’t count that you were singing it. I wanted your words. I wanted you to beg me to stay. But you accepted my suggestion about parting our ways to be able to make our careers work. You just accepted it.”
Tears were running freely now, Sauli was shaking.
“You just let me go.” He whispered bitterly.
~ ♥ ~
Adam remained silent for a few minutes. He was shocked.
How didn’t he see that all?
There he thought he was generous letting Sauli go, so he would be able to follow his dreams. Stupid and blind, that is what he was!
Sauli was crying silently and Adam’s heart was breaking all over again. He pulled Sauli in his arms and let him calm down, while he stroked over his back.
“I’m sorry, baby, so sorry. I really thought you wanted me to let you go. It took everything in me to do that.” Adam was crying now as well.
~ ♥ ~
After few moments, Sauli pulled away to look up into Adam’s eyes. “I know I made it look like I wanted the break-up, like I wanted to be away from you. But once I was in Finland, I realized how lonely I was. All I wanted was to howl out in pain and call for you to come to me.”
Adam put his hands on Sauli’s face. He wiped the tears away and leaned down for a kiss. He let his lips gently brush over Sauli’s mouth. The kiss deepened until they both were breathless staring into each other’s eyes.
~ ♥ ~
“I never stopped loving you,” Adam whispered against Sauli’s mouth. “I just wanted to make you happy. Instead I broke our hearts.”
Sauli shook his head. “We were both stupid. I guess we will have to learn to talk and listen more. Once we knew how to do that, we just need to get back there.”
Adam smiled a sad smile. “We could have avoided all of this.”
Sauli nodded and sighed. “What about Tommy? Does he hate me?”
Adam let out a small laugh at that. “Sauli, Tommy is in love with you. He is missing you so badly.”
~ ♥ ~
Sauli smiled. “Really? I was so afraid, that I had lost you both for good. I just thought it would be better to give the both of you a chance to have a normal relationship. But I miss you both so much. I don’t think I can live without having both of you in my life. I love you both so much.”
Adam chuckled. “We love you too, you stupid man. Don’t you dare to ever do that again, you hear me?”
Sauli nodded. “Can we go home now?”
Adam smiled: “Of course. Tommy is waiting for us. Let’s go.”