Work Text:
Neil awoke to a familiar, deep weight resting upon his chest. The sun was streaking in ribbons around the gaps in the curtains, painting the walls a warm golden hue.
He blinked his eyes awake and cast a quick glance over at the clock on the bedside table. 9:27. He raised his eyebrows, he’d slept in later than usual, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was a Sunday and they had nothing planned for the day.
Tearing his eyes away from the time, he averted his attention to the culprit of the weight on his chest. He peered down and was met with a tuft of soft, dirty blonde hair that tickled his face slightly whenever he shifted.
It belonged to Todd, who seemed to be doing his best rendition of trying to fuse with him the most he physically could. Not that Neil minded at all.
Todd’s body was curled around Neil, tangling their limbs in an impossible knot, and he had his head laying on his chest, using him as his usual makeshift pillow substitute.
He brought one of his hands that was holding Todd towards his hair instead, idly fiddling with the strands and occasionally lightly scratching at his scalp.
A flock of birds orchestrated a nostalgic melody from outside his window. And for a moment, Neil closed his eyes to take in the slow nature of the morning: no excitement or responsibilities, he could just simply be.
It felt like he could always live in the moment with Todd, the world around him blurred to a simple inconvenience when he was around. His presence grounded him to the present, rather than thinking of future aspirations. It was something endearing that had Neil falling even harder for him when they were teenagers and still quite close-minded about the world ahead of them.
He slowly opened his eyes and savoured his surroundings, no matter how much he lived in it, he still couldn’t believe the mixture of his and Todd’s clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor, or the decorations on the walls they had both contributed to.
He didn’t feel as though he deserved it. He knew Todd would beg to differ. "You're the most deserving of a life you want, Neil.” he would say in that sweet, soft tone that had first captured Neil’s attention when they met all those years ago. “You’re the most understanding and thoughtful person I know, life should reward you for that”
Laying there in the still and comfortable silence, sans for Todd’s deep breathing, he thought of the new play he had auditioned for a few weeks ago. Broadway. It was a far-fetched decision but it had been his dream for as long as he could remember.
His grandparents had taken him to see a performance of Othello at his local theatre when he was five, and he knew it had surely rewired something in his mind. His aspirations inextricably influenced by the flaws in Othello’s trust and his spirit soaring by his own hand.
It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried for a role in Broadway before, but if the callback he had was anything to go by, he had some more hope. If not, there was a new play at a reasonably paying local theatre he had performed at multiple times before that he had his eyes set on.
He was woken up from his daydream by Todd shifting on his chest, small noises of complaint leaving him at the prospect of waking him. If the fact that the room was brighter and that the clock now read 9:52 was anything to rely on, he had been in his own head for a while. A habit he was yet to improve.
His hand was still absentmindedly toying with Todd’s hair. He moved his other hand to start moving lightly up-and-down his back through his shirt. Todd tensed for a few heartbeats, ever the more ticklish of them both, before relaxing again, melting into a puddle of limbs on top of Neil.
“Morning, Toddy.” Neil whispered into Todd’s hair.
Todd made a barely audible noise that was laced entirely with a grudge against his body for deciding to drag him from his slumber.
“Morning.” he whispered back, voice tainted rough from sleep.
A comfortable silence overcame the room after the brief exchange, and they lay there breathing in each other’s presence. He decided to speak once more upon feeling the rhythm of Todd’s chest even out and his body make an effort to, somehow, sink into Neil more. Maybe they could take advantage of an earlier weekend start.
“Cuddle in any further and you’ll practically become me, love.” Neil muttered, smiling as Todd sighed. Todd adjusted his head to look up, and Neil’s heart swelled at the look of Todd’s sleep-tousled hair and bleary eyes.
“What if that’s the aim?” he inquired, all but face planting back into his chest.
“Hm.. but then I wouldn’t see you again.” Neil chuckled.
“You wouldn’t miss me, I’d be a part of you.”
“But I would still miss your face.”
“I’d much prefer to have yours.”
Neil raised an eyebrow at him for that, but broke out into a grin upon seeing Todd’s playful smirk staring back up at him.
Slowly and begrudgingly, they made their way out of bed, which mostly consisted of Neil having to drag Todd out from under the sheets despite his desperate attempts to stay.
Together they stumbled through their commonplace routine on days where nothing was commanded of them, brushing their teeth drowsily and not bothering to change into clothes apart from Todd slipping on a black wool jumper that Neil was sure was his. It was no secret they both wholeheartedly agreed that pyjamas were a perfect outfit for the house.
They made their way towards the kitchen, even though most thoughts consuming their minds wanted to curl up on the sofa with an (un)necessary amount of blankets and embrace each other until something was demanding their attention. Usually a bathroom break, from experience.
While Neil was grabbing two mugs and peppermint teabags from one of their wall-hung cupboards, a flavour Todd had got him hooked on, Todd was grazing over what food they had in the kitchen. Neither had a preference, it almost seemed like too much choice due to them restocking their food yesterday.
“Does something on toast sound okay.. eggs maybe?” Todd eventually asked over the rasp of the kettle brewing.
Neil nodded in agreement and looked around the room afterwards. They had yet to open the curtains of the kitchen, and it had once again cast a golden glow over every aspect. A glare from the sun was painting the typical wood of their furniture and the trinkets that lay upon countertops and floating shelves a lighter, more evident colour.
He skimmed his gaze from the window over to his lover standing a stove away from him, busying himself with putting bread in the toaster. The resplendent demand of light wanting to push through the curtains kissed his features in all the correct ways.
A feathery line of white bloomed from his side profile and, from where it caught Todd’s eye from this angle, made it a luminescent blue that had his heart skipping through its beats.
The kettle clicked and he returned his attention back to it. Dances of steam emanated from the mugs as he poured the boiling water into them, the tea leaves staining the previously clear water a forest tint. He carried them to the table and placed them in his and Todd’s respective places: opposite each other on a four-seater table.
“Thank you.” Todd quietly said in response.
“You’re welcome.” Neil replied as he made his way over to the curtains and pulled them open, the sun beaming down onto him in a kaleidoscope of blinding light and heat. He spun back around on this heel to face Todd, blinking a few times to get some stubborn black spots out of his vision, and giving Todd a pointed look when he could hear him giggling at his predicament.
When his vision was kindly given back to him, he sauntered over to Todd, who was equally as gorgeous with the newly developed sunbeam raining down on him.
He enveloped him in a hug from behind, holding tightly around his waist and nuzzling his head into the curve between Todd’s neck and shoulder.
“I love you, y’know.” he uttered into Todd’s jumper.
Todd giggled gently in return, a sound that Neil would bottle up and get drunk on if possible. Todd pivoted around in his grasp, looking up minutely at Neil due to their small height difference.
“I love you too.” he replied, a smile coating his face.
Neil leant down and captured his lips in a kiss, one of his hands moving up to cup his cheek in his hand, the other remaining on Todd’s waist.
Charlie would often describe him as ‘whipped’, but he couldn’t deny it. Even after years of being with Todd, every kiss was the roar of the crowd after a performance, all the words written down in poetry from Todd’s own hand meant especially for him, the spin of his mind when he realised that this is his reality. He was the only one to see Todd this way, and that’s how it would always be.
They broke apart after a few seconds. It was only a chaste kiss, yet it felt like so much more. It always did. Todd’s hands had moved to caress Neil’s face during the kiss, and he was now holding him as though he was something precious. Something to be cherished and valued.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur of lazy affections and small conversations. The kind of day where they talked about everything and nothing over food and when clearing up. No ulterior motive, only basking in each other’s presence.
Around an hour later they had found their way to the sofa, fulfilling the promises they had made to themselves earlier, and were curled around each other under a blanket. A show was on in the background, but they weren’t paying much mind to it. Some sitcom neither of them had seen and had no desire to.
Neil sighed and pulled out his phone with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Todd’s shoulder, idly flicking through apps, not entirely sure what he wanted to indulge in.
But as he scrolled past his emails he frowned, a red circle in the right-hand corner of the app indicating something there. Odd. He was sure he hadn’t bought anything recently, and any emails that weren’t from deliveries or work-related updates were sent straight to his junk mail.
He clicked on the app mindlessly, intrigued to see what it was. And froze.
His stillness must have altered Todd, he turned his head towards Neil and nudged him carefully, asking if he was okay.
It wasn’t a surprise that Todd thought something was wrong, he wasn’t sure he was breathing. Waves of nausea were crashing through him, and he assumed his cheeks were a much brighter colour than before if the sudden warmth flooding them was anything to go by.
Surely he must be hallucinating. There couldn’t be an email from Broadway in his inbox.
He wanted to reply to Todd, but his throat felt so raw and tight that he was sure nothing but a pitiful squeak would come out. He quickly gave Todd a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod that was simultaneously not believable and did nothing to comfort Todd’s worries.
“Neil.. what’s wrong?” Todd urged once more. Neil couldn’t reply as he clicked on response, hands trembling, and quickly read the first few sentences of the email.
His name, the role he applied for, accepted.
A sob clawed its way out of his throat before he could stop it. Beside him, Todd sat up straighter and devoted his attention to Neil’s sudden outburst.
“Neil.” he started once again. “What's wrong? Why are you upset?” he asked softly.
Instead of replying verbally, he thrust the phone into Todd’s vague direction, eyes still wide and staring in sheer astonishment into the space his phone was a few moments ago. There were a few moments of silence as Todd read the same sentences as he had, before he heard him gasp.
“Holy shit.” Todd said, a smile evident in his voice.
Neil took a deep, shaky breath.
“Holy shit.” he repeated.
Despite the awkward angle on the sofa, Todd wrapped his arms around him firmly, encompassing Neil’s whole being into his.
Neil let himself break on Todd’s shoulder. Years of hard work, strain, moments he felt like giving up, all released in a flood of tears steadily dampening Todd’s jumper.
Throughout it all, Todd was rubbing his back, whispering praise into his ears and running a hand through his hair, which only made Neil weep harder. The support he had attained from not only Todd, but his friends, colleagues, and Mr. Keating had brought him to this moment.
They had given him the unwavering goal of being on a stage, and pulled him out his doubts and losses when a sea of his failures was threatening to drown him. The hug seemed to have augmented in its weight and warmth.
Sometime during his momentary breakdown that was, in his opinion, a frankly horrifying mix of laughter and tears, Todd had handed his phone back to him. Todd had lessened the strength of his hold but still kept him close. Neil turned his attention back to the screen and read through the email properly, taking in the details mentioned.
Everything still felt fuzzy around the edges, not quite reality. But a small compartment in the back of his mind opened as he read further down the list of information.
It didn’t quite have all of the specifics, he needed to confirm he wanted the role before that was handed out to him. But perhaps this was truly a reality he could make for himself, with everyone alongside him.