Chapter Text
I must be mad.
It’s what I’ve thought to myself at least a million times now. I’m going insane. I’m deluded and I’m hallucinating. This is a lucid dream, or a coma making my brain numb.
Either way, I know there must be a logical explanation. Everything that happens in life is bound by the means of science–no ifs, ands, or buts. Science explains everything–and if I have to extend that to include traveling back five years in time, then so be it.
Even if that means accepting that my mind has deteriorated. Years of major depression followed by a car crash can, and will, do that to a guy who had his whole life ahead of him.
This brings me to my next topic, my life. The life that may not exist anymore–and, yet, if under any circumstances my excursion through the past means something, I am determined to make it right.
…And, so far, it is not going right.
By putting distance between me and Ava, I’ve put distance between me and Ty, because he’s so hopelessly in love with her that he doesn’t want to focus on anything else. By trying to avoid Ava, I’ve opened a chasm in me and Tyrus’s relationship even earlier than before. By the end of this, I wouldn’t have changed anything. The fight on the stairs will still happen, Ms. Alexander will still get involved, and I’ll still get expelled. I’ll still get in the car wreck. I will still be the loser.
Which is why, if I want to live my life one day, this has to end now.