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Hearts Full of Regret

Summary:

The story begins before ritual happens - it will later involve how Apollo & Graves find out about it, and prepare for it. I have plans to continue writing it story and for it to be a longer piece; I'll try to do stuff lore-accurately when I can but obviously I have also personal ideas how I see certain characters, etc.

Notes:

Hi!! GoldenGraves been my brainrot for too long and I decided I gotta put it into words before I go completely mad. Updates will be irregular because I do suffer from condition called 'day job' buuut I'll try not to make you guys wait too long between updates!

Edit 21/04/2026: Hey guys, I just wanna say I know it's been a long time with no update -- my life has been chaotic. I am not abandoning this project, but updates will most likely be scarce, and irregular. I'll try to make them as often as possible, but just want to make it clear they probably will be not as often as you'd like -- my apologies, I wish I had more time to write it as well.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was the final year of Blackmoore Academy for Darcy Graves, and although she should be focusing on her grades, there were more important things on her mind now. With the absence of her parents and teachers, who were busy ensuring the wealthy, entitled kids don’t complain to their parents about them… well, she was left to her own devices. Perhaps her parents thought she would follow into their footsteps, but Darcy had much bigger plans when it came to her future.

 

And just when she thought this year would not be as important to her as to other students, fates decided to prove her wrong.

 


For a few weeks now, there were news of somebody transferring to Blackmoore Academy. Normally, that wouldn’t be anything of interest, even to the chicks who love gossip, and this school got plenty of them. But, the news was that the new student is coming from Ixia… And that he is somebody important. 

 

Darcy didn’t care about such things, but it was impossible not to notice how everyone else did. If that guy was even remotely handsome, he’d become almost like a celebrity. And if he actually had the charisma to take advantage of that, well, he would become Golden Boy of Blackmoore Academy.

 

Seeing how some people talked about his arrival, it felt like this was definitely going to happen. With such big hype, he would have to try hard to really mess up, becoming this academy’s new obsession. I mean, his position alone will have people flock to him in hopes of elevating their own. Graves grimaces, thinking how fake these students are; they only care about themselves, pretty much. As a highly empathetic person, Darcy struggled to endure the presence of most students. No way she could have made any friendships here.

 

Perhaps that’s why she was so slow to get to the lunchroom, and once she began looking for a free spot, she realized the only free space was near the trio of most annoying girls she ever met: Patricia, Natalie, and Joanne. They were always gossiping and talking about, well, everyone. Not always nicely, either. But Darcy didn’t want to leave the room now and eat her lunch in a random classroom or outside. She would have to bear the annoying company.

 

Not that they would acknowledge her, but it would be impossible not to overhear them trash-talking other students. Darcy keeps her neutral (although others would say grumpy) expression as she sits beside them. Of course, they don’t even look towards her. Instead, they continue their conversation.



“Looks like that new guy is transferring tomorrow. I wonder what he’s like!” Natalie chirps in a dreamy voice.

 

“I hope he’s hot. But I haven’t seen many Ixians before… are they hot?” Joanne questions curiously, earning a snort from Patricia.

 

“Why would you want to date someone from Ixia?” Patricia gave her friend a knowing look. “Your love life is problematic enough without it.” The leader of a group always subtly insulted the others. Graves wondered why they even remained her friends if she was like this?

 

But hearing them talk about the new student in such a manner pissed her off more. Superficial, vain girls. This is a big thing – for both of the worlds – much bigger than some teenager’s love life. On top of that, that guy was a person with feelings and ambitions, and they tried to put him in a box, wondering how to label him. Who do they think they are?

 

There weren’t many Ixians around, and having an actual important figure, or at least the son of such a figure, would mean a lot for both humans and Ixians. If not for her other plans, Darcy would maybe become a politician; she always wanted to do something important for the world. 

 

Still, she was glad she found a way to do so that didn’t involve interacting with too many people. Graves struggled to hide her obvious disgust towards narcissists and egocentrics.

 

Sometimes she wondered if she was the only student in Blackmoore Academy who took the conflict between humans and ixians seriously. Sure, they didn’t feel any direct consequences of it, but that didn’t mean the conflict wasn’t there. Warming up relations between the two species was important for everyone. But these three girls saw the Ixian transfer student only as a potential new hot guy. Disgusting.

 

One Day Later

 

“You sure it’s too late to turn back still?” Apollo asked his companion with a cheeky smile. The ixian woman was slightly shorter than the teenage boy, but her glare made him feel small. She had similar skin-color, but her hair was black as night, carefully tied up in a ponytail. She didn’t seem to be much older, but certainly was at least in her twenties.

 

“We’ve been over this what feels like a thousand times. Your classes start in an hour. It’s way beyond time to go back, and it never was an option anyway.” She crossed her arms, hoping to finally get through to the young man.

 

“As usual, you are right, Violet.” Apollo said, accepting defeat. Instead, he went to fix up his outfit. At the very least, he could look his best, though he doubted this would help with issues he feared.

 

“You don’t need to make friends. But make a good impression, and Ixia will reap the rewards of it for years.”

 

“Easier said than done, you know.” He wasn’t looking at Violet anymore. One glare a day is more than enough.

 

“You’re not joining a battlefield, Apollo. And you’re very likable, aren’t you? You know how to make people like you.” She encouraged, though the smile she had was fake. Violet was a close friend and caretaker of sorts, but even she was tired of Apollo’s moods and complaints.

 

“I’d rather be on a battlefield, if I am to be honest.” Violet didn’t continue the discussion, but just started pushing him out of the room. “Geez, I get it! Fine! I’m going!”

 

“I’d better not find you skipping class!”

 

Prince of Ixia muttered something under his breath, but he was on his way, indeed. Blackmoore Academy came into view way too soon.

 

To say he felt uneasy was an understatement. Apollo understood exactly why he was in Blackmoore Academy, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He knew this was good for Ixia. He knew representing his country did a lot more good than him joining the fight in Ixia. But he still hated it; still felt like this wasn’t enough and that he would hate everything and everyone here.

 

Sure, he knew how to charm Ixian noblemen and noblewomen, but this wasn’t Ixia. He never had to charm people who, potentially, hated him simply based on who he was. You can convince somebody you’re not rude, selfish, stupid or lack talent, but what do you do when people hate you for where you come from? It’s not that easy to convince them Ixia is ‘not that bad’. Even his charisma couldn’t get him out of something like that.

 

If he made a mistake on the battlefield, at least he wouldn’t have to leave with the embarrassment and guilt of failing Ixia. He wouldn’t be alive to deal with such thoughts. Focus, Apollo. Let’s hope your class has more people who don’t know much of Ixia… Then maybe you can convince them you’re cool.

 

Walking through the wide corridors and running into the first wave of students made him realize that he had gotten a lot of things wrong. These young people didn’t seem to be bothered at all about the conflict – such a contrast to Ixian youth. Some women looked at him and giggled, and he felt they weren’t making fun of him. And a few short conversations he had were quite nice, and his charisma didn’t fail him.

 

To live such a careless existence, without a worry in sight, how blissful that must be. A wave of anger and jealousy went through him. How dare humans live like so, when Ixians aren’t allowed similar luxury? Perhaps humans will like him, but he doubted he would like any of them. Apollo was fast to judge others, and these strong emotions didn’t help. But even then, he was able to keep his mask and entered his first class looking nonchalant and confident.

 

As the teacher brought him to the front, everyone focused on him. Considering other students didn’t know a thing or two about the conflict, Apollo figured his class was no different. All that attention was for all the stupid reasons, he was sure. His looks, his wealth, position… Now he almost wished somebody would accuse him of something silly.

 

Ixian Prince glances around the classroom. All eyes were on him – No, actually not all. In the back sat a girl pale as a ghost, and she was not interested at all in whatever he had to say. At first, that upset him, but then he was intrigued. Was it because she hated him for who he was, or… or why, exactly? Did she not care about things happening around her? Or did she find another reason to want to ignore him? I must figure her out. His earlier anger fizzled out, replaced by intense curiosity.

 

“Thank you for that, Apollo. You didn’t have to uhm, list your every achievement in life so far.” The teacher said, and Apollo shrugged.

 

“It seemed like an appropriate form of introduction in the educational institution.”

 

“Just… find a seat, please.”

 

The girl he noticed earlier hasn’t landed a singular look towards him. Apollo ignored the few others who obviously wanted him to sit next to them. No, he marched straight for the seat next to the ghostly pale girl. What was her story? I just have to know.

 

He knew he shouldn’t allow such simple feelings take over, but… she was the most interesting creature he had seen since his arrival.

 


Before class began, Darcy spotted the newcomer in the corridor. It was impossible to miss him – even though it was the first time she saw an Ixian – his aura preceded him. And she knew he would become a celebrity, indeed. She already could see it: Prince of Ixia, golden boy of Blackmoore Academy!

 

Good for Ixia, she thought. Part of her hoped this wouldn’t happen, even if it was obviously inevitable. If he were considered a weirdo, maybe she could finally have a friend. Someone who was a narcissistic rich kid. But looking at this guy, there was no avoiding him being one. Furthermore, if she tries to speak with him, everyone will make fun of her. I'd better avoid him.

 

It wasn’t hard to ignore him during class. His name was the only interesting part of the presentation he performed. He talked like a stuck-up idiot she expected him to be. Who cares about his fencing achievements in Ixia? He wants to represent Ixia in the Olympics? My God, he’s really – 

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. It was almost comical how her head turned, and she blinked, looking at the red-skinned student choosing to sit next to her. What in the… What would ever compel him to come here? Ugh, she already saw some people whispering. Great. Yet, there was part of her that was happy. Graves refused to stop and wonder, happy about what exactly.

 

“Name’s Apollo.” He whispered.

 

“Uh-huh. I know. Pretty sure the whole class heard your speech.” Darcy retorted, cringing on the inside. She always did that; said things that push people away. Won’t be long before I scare him away, too. Must be a lot nicer to talk to all these idiots who will fake anything to be his friend.

 

The corner of Apollo’s lips twitched in almost a smile. He didn’t seem deterred. Quite the contrary – he seemed amused. For a bit, he was quiet, making Darcy think he was done talking to her. But then he finally spoke up again.

 

“Mind telling me yours?”

 

“Uhm… Graves. Darcy Graves.”

 

The conversation ended here due to the teacher shushing the two of them. Darcy found herself glancing towards Apollo, but he was completely focused on the lesson after that. Graves somewhat hated those entitled kids who always got As, but at least when it came to Ixian Prince, it seemed all these achievements were due to hard work, not just luck and money. She would never admit that, but she was impressed by his diligence.

 


It was quite new and foreign for Darcy to have a classmate who actually interacted with her, unfettered by her rough-around-the-edges personality. Sometimes, she wondered if there was ever a line that would be too far and make him go away. Graves knew she wasn’t a good friend. For one, she kept lying every time he tried to walk her home or hang out after class. 

 

Darcy Graves has spent her afternoons always the same way: at the graveyard. And she hardly knew how to even begin to explain that to anyone. Even somebody as unusual as Apollo. Plus, it wasn’t hard to sneak away from him… after a few first times, she just guided them towards certain students that she knew would try and hog Apollo for themselves.

 

And, usually, Apollo went with them, even though he gave her that longing look. Darcy didn’t know what to take from that; he could tell them no. But maybe he was afraid of making people upset with him. Afraid it would directly transform into hate towards Ixia.

 

Graves didn’t envy his position, but she refused to feel bad about how she avoided spending time with him. It wasn’t personal anyway – she had things to do. Even if sometimes she wished that he would just refuse these guys, make her feel like her presence was more important to him than theirs. That’s selfish. Why do I even care about such silly things?

 

***

Another afternoon with Christopher, another wasted opportunity. It made Apollo feel like Graves did that on purpose. And he hated himself for being such a pushover and giving in every time. Going with those stuck-up kids. He knew the afternoon with Graves would be a lot more fun. 

 

Every day, he wanted to learn more and more about her, but she barely let him in. Their conversations were vague, simplistic, and about nothing more than school. He wanted – no, needed – to know more about her. He was never this fascinated with anyone, and after all he met plenty of curious people and creatures. But there was just something about Graves. Instead, he was stuck listening to Christopher.

 

“So, Apollo. You’re head of the fencing club now, huh? Aren’t you annoyed with more responsibility?” Chris asked with a grin. 

 

Apollo scoffed. “It was an inevitable outcome. It was always obvious to me that it would happen.”

 

“You just started here. You took over because the guy before you got sick, and because you’re decent at fencing.”

 

“I also beat him. Multiple times.” Reminded Apollo, but Chris only laughed. 

 

“Beginner’s luck!”

 

Seriously? Gosh, one more outing like that and I will hurt him. I hate these guys so much.

 

One Month Later

 

What was once a coincidence became a pattern. If Graves did not come to his table during lunch or approach him now and again, Apollo would believe she was trying to avoid him. Honestly, he couldn’t figure her out. She was a dictionary definition of mixed signals.

 

Ixian Prince went with it both because it was good for him to network, but also because he didn’t want to push his presence on Darcy if she didn’t want that. But, he decided he was done playing these games. He would rather have her yell at him than continue this way. 


As expected, on the way to another class, Graves led them through a corridor filled with second years, and a couple of guys stopped him to invite him to something. Darcy took her leave, potentially not even hearing Apollo’s direct refusal. At least second years can take it as they are not ‘worth it’, so there wouldn’t be any proper conflict.

 

Afterwards, Apollo found Graves by the lockers, looking for her books.

“I am done playing that game.” He said coldly, making Darcy jump.

 

“Jesus! Don’t do that!” Darcy quickly closed the locker and her bag, faster than necessary. Apollo watched the action in confusion, not realizing the secrets Graves was trying to conceal. If he looked at that bag earlier, he would have way too many questions. “And what are you talking about? What game?”

 

“You're finding me extra-curricular activities.” Darcy’s brows risen but she soon put on her mask and crossed her arms.

 

“I still don’t know – “

 

“I am not an idiot, Graves. You hate the idea of hanging out with me that much? Or you work some secret job you cannot tell anyone about after class? If my presence bothers you, I’d rather hear that so I know to stop interacting with you.”

 

He wasn’t half-wrong about the secret job. But she knew she couldn’t keep lying, not when he looked at her like that. “You don’t bother me.”

 

The Ixian ran fingers through his hair. He seemed relieved, even if he was still confused. “Huh. Good.”

 

“Do you actually care about that? You don’t seem like somebody who cares about the opinion of others.”

 

Apollo froze and looked away. How did I let my mask slip? “I don’t. But you’re the only person who’s real around me. The only person who talks as if they spent some time thinking about anything besides grades and parties and dates.”

 

Graves looked down at her bag. Her mask slipped a bit, too, as concern was portrayed on her face. She did wonder how Apollo deals with all their classmates being so fake, and here was the answer. Apparently, she was his anchor, so to speak.

 

Her feelings were already complex, and this didn’t make it any easier. God, she wanted to ask him about this stuff, but she wasn’t ready for being this open. And she didn’t think Apollo was ready for such a conversation either.

 

“Well.” She said, finally. “Maybe it’s because I don’t like parties that much.”

 

It was a dry joke, and it still made Apollo laugh. His laugh was ridiculous, over the top like the rest of him, and yet, she enjoyed the sound.

 

“So, will you save me from the company of Chris? You’d be saving his life, if I am to be honest. There’s only so much of this guy I can take.”

“Now you make me want to say no just so I may be spared from enduring his existence.” Apollo smirked at her, and Graves looked away, picking up her bag. This is a bad idea, the nagging voice in her head reminded her. This time, she knew those weren’t her anxieties, but her mentor's. It would be one of the few times she wasn’t going to listen to her. “Alright. Impress me, Prince of Ixia.” She showed him her tongue and disappeared further into the corridor.

 


Darcy wrinkled her nose, looking at the cup of coffee in her hand. She wasn’t sure what Apollo’s plan was, but taking her, of all people, out for a coffee felt… thoughtless. Nothing’s wrong with going out for a coffee, but it didn’t feel like something she enjoyed doing that much. And even her classmates could tell. Why couldn’t he?

 

“You look like you got bit by a bug, Graves.” Apollo said, sipping his green tea. Of course, the Prince of Ixia didn’t drink coffee. Darcy could bet her Lich’s hand that he doesn’t need caffeine to pull an all-nighter, the perfect Prince. After all this time, she noticed how good he was at everything, including studying, and sometimes it still pissed her off.

 

“It just seems like you got the wrong girl.” Darcy responded coldly, making her companion choke on his tea.

 

“Excuse me?” He looked at her, bewildered, almost as if the thought made him feel disgusted. What was that about? Even if the signs were there, Darcy didn’t want to believe there was something special about her to be invited. Apollo simply was tired of fake smiles, but that hardly meant she was – ugh, let’s not think about that right now. 

 

“Do I really seem to you like a girl who hangs out at a cafe? Come on, Apollo. You should know better than that.”

 

There was an unreadable expression on his face. “Perhaps, not, but… I hardly know you. Our conversations are always so surface-level. And you should show some gratitude, you know.”

 

“Me? Gratitude? You were the one moping – “

 

“Who was moping!? You cannot be serious right now! I simply confronted you on your ridiculous behaviour –”

 

As their voices were getting louder, the barista gave them a warning. Darcy rolled her eyes, and she grabbed Apollo’s hand. “You don’t know me? Fine. I’ll let you know a little about me, then.” They abandoned their drinks, and Apollo found himself catching up with Darcy. For such a short girl, she surely could run. The Ixian could help but chuckle as he tried to keep up with her. This girl was like a volcano, and he had a feeling this friendship would be a dangerous one, but Darcy’s presence was too intoxicating to give up on it just because of potential consequences. Future Apollo can worry about that.

 

Through quiet alleyways, they made their way to what seemed like an open library. The Ixian Prince didn’t realize Darcy was a reader, but considering how their conversation ended last time, he decided to be quiet for now. They walked silently into the room filled with bookcases and tomes older than them. Much, much older than them.

 

“Soooo… what’s your, ugh, favorite book?” He decided to break the silence. Even he recognized it was a terrible way to do so, but it made Graves snicker.

 

“I am not much of a reader, actually.”

 

“But you brought me to a library to get to know you better…?”

 

“Well, I wanted to show you one of my favorite places! Not many people actually come here, and I like to hang out here when I am tired of other humans. Or when I need a quiet moment.” Darcy explained as she sat on the edge of the table. Apollo chose to lounge on a nearby chair.

 

“You don’t seem to like other humans that much. Or, anyone, really.” He said, wondering if he could get some more info from her. There must be a reason why she is so closed off, and Apollo really wanted to know what exactly happened to this girl.

 

“I don’t, you’re right. I think the world would be a better place if most of the humans turned into cats.”

 

Apollo snorted. “That’s funny.”

 

“I am not joking.” Darcy pouted. 

 

“We might struggle with tuna production if that actually happens.”

 

Graves rolled her eyes and decided to drop the subject. “About getting to know each other better. Your father is a warlord, yeah? That’s what they say, at least.”

 

For some reason, Apollo didn’t realize that getting through Graves’ shields meant he would have to give some personal information as well. Violet wouldn’t appreciate him saying too much, but this one friendship was important to him. Plus, she asked about information publicly available, anyway, so this shouldn’t be too big of a deal.

 

Realizing he was quiet for too long, he finally answered. “Ugh… I mean, yeah, kind of.”

She leveled him with a confused look. “Alright, he either is or is not. How can somebody be ‘kind of’ a warlord’?”

 

His tail smacked the floor in a show of his annoyance. “You wouldn’t get it. Your language lacks the proper verbiage. You don’t exactly have a word for a person who would be both a governor and a general, as we do in Ixia. Because you don’t have such a position.”

 

“We do have a word for it. It’s ‘warlord’.”

 

Apollo sighed. “It’s not –  It’s not that simple, Graves.”

 

“It really is that simple, son of a warlord.”

 

Was that girl… smiling? She was always so damn grumpy. Huh… perhaps, he may endure this just to watch that smile. He wondered, was it getting on his nerves that amused her so much?

 

“You win this one. I don’t think you’d understand, no matter how many times I’d explain this to you, Graves.” He added with a smirk.

 

Darcy was about to shoot back a reply when they both heard quiet sobs. They didn’t sound human, exactly, but neither as if it were an animal. Apollo instantly got up, hand on his sword. “Careful. Some creatures try to fake these sounds, and – “

 

“Somebody could be in trouble, you idiot!” Her instinct to protect others kicked in. Graves was already running towards the source of a sound. Of course, Apollo was unaware that she was not as defenseless as she seemed, so her rash actions spiked his anxiety more than he would like to admit. Cursing under his breath, he followed Graves to see her kneel beside a… cat? Owl? That creature looked like nothing he had ever seen, but it didn’t seem hostile, either. Apollo relaxed a little, but was still cautious. For now, he simply watched what might happen next while Graves tried talking to the being before them.

 

“...I want to go home.” The quiet voice said, almost sobbed. “I don’t know – Where am I? W-Who are you? You won’t be mean, will you? I had to throw my pillow at some mean people before…”

 

Even Apollo, who was weary before, felt his heart melt. Whatever this creature was, it was lost and needed help, and it wasn’t doing anything suspicious. Nobody could fake misery that well.

 

“Where is your home, little one?” Graves asked in a sweet, gentle tone. What a shame I never get to hear that voice addressed to me, Apollo thought and cursed at himself for even going there. He had always had his feelings under control. How come he meets one girl and suddenly that’s no longer true? Mask on, Apollo. He reminded himself.

 

The creature said a word, a… name, potentially, but neither of them recognized it – or even, were capable of repeating. Graves looked at Apollo with concern; it wasn’t safe to give this creature to authorities, as who knows what they would do with an unknown being like this, and whoever this little guy was, they seemed like… a kid. Lost kid, wanting to go home.

 

Neither of them wanted to risk the little fella being locked away and questioned, but with their lack of knowledge, sending him home might be close to impossible as well.

 

“Alright. I… I am not sure how to get there, but I can try to… look for a way, okay? There’s always hope.” Darcy’s voice was shaking a little, as she was making promises she wasn’t sure she could keep. But she felt weirdly responsible for this little guy, and if she couldn’t find his home, she could always take care of him. 

 

“R-Reawwwy?” 

 

“Of course! Now… What’s your name, little one?”

 

“Rem! My name is Rem!”

 

Rem looked at the two of them with hope. Apollo wasn’t sure if Graves’ promise was a smart idea, but he didn’t have better solutions. He did feel his anxiety return when the girl picked Rem up into her arms and declared she was taking them home. What he expected her to do, he wasn’t sure, but not that.

 

“What? You’ll be taking him to your home?!” He whisper-shouted at her.

 

“Until we figure out how to get him back to his. He needs somewhere to stay.” Graves explained as if that was a completely normal reaction and a sane decision.

 

“Your parents will never allow you to – “

 

“They won’t even notice him.” Graves interrupted and was already marching back towards her place.

 

“Graves.” Apollo followed her, still both worried and shocked. “This is not a cat you can hide in your closet! You must consider what they’ll do when they find him –”

 

“Trust me, they won’t notice. It wouldn’t be the first time they are oblivious to things happening around me.” She said coldly, making Apollo stop for a moment.

 

What even does she mean by that? There were too many questions in his mind, and he ended up saying a joke instead, struggling to articulate anything else.“Are you trying to tell me you are running a homeless shelter for supernatural creatures from your home?”

 

“Am I supwernat…ural…?” Rem chimed in, looking between them curiously. “What— what does that even mean?”

 

Graves sighed softly. “I don’t run a shelter. They just, they don’t notice what I am up to, most of the time.” Graves looked away, not wanting to dwell on what she just said. “Stop worrying, Apollo. I am sure we can figure out where Rem is from and get him there, sooner rather than later. “

 

Apollo wasn’t so sure about either of these things. Finding Rem’s homeland was already a pickle, and he for a moment didn’t believe Darcy knew what she was doing. But he understood this was important to her, and, well. Her caring side was nice to see. Even if he wishes for that soft tone of hers to be addressed to him, rather than Rem.

 

After walking her home, Ixian Prince returned to his apartment, trying to get some sleep. But he couldn’t; many things were said that day, but Darcy talking about her parents stuck with him. He could always depend on his parents’ support, especially his father. He has learned so much from him. Apollo thought that’s how things were for everyone, but it seemed not to be for Graves.

 

His heart ached for her. If that’s why this girl is so cold and mean… he can endure her callous comments. He didn’t like the thought that she might be alone in the world. After all, it was impossible not to notice that she’s not close with her classmates, either.