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It was raining and cold and absolutely miserable. Yet somehow, Tim couldn’t imagine himself anywhere else in the world. Sure, he was sitting on the roof of a building in the rain and doing a stake out which was always boring.
But he was doing it with Jason.
Which made it far better than if he was on stake out with anyone else.
Things were difficult between Tim and Jason, they had been for the last seven years when Jason had first attacked Tim in Titan’s Tower, after that their relationship had been fraught with fights and near killings. Then, something changed, Jason started to change. It was after Tim brought Bruce back from the time stream, the man started to come around more. Hood officially started working with the Bats and slowly but surely, Jason started to come to dinners at the manor.
But only if Tim didn’t go.
It was an odd change and it hurt, Tim wasn’t going to lie. He understood, though. Tim wasn’t really family to the Waynes, but there was also the fact that Tim had stolen Robin and well, Tim wasn’t fully sure even now what all the reasons were. It had been five years since Jason started to reintegrate into the family and it was rare that the two were grouped up on anything.
Hell, even tonight, the only reason they were grouped up was because Dick was out sick and Tim was taking his place. Not that things hadn’t changed, Jason slowly came around more, he didn’t automatically leave the moment he saw Tim in a room, they even had dinner at the manor together now. He didn’t go out of his way to talk to Tim, but he was cordial.
It was nice.
It was nice to be close to Jason at least once before he left. Because the thing was, Tim Drake was absolutely in love with Jason Todd and had been for as long as he could remember. Jason kept his distance from Tim, but he still saw parts of him, and he loved all of it.
The way Jason cared so much for Crime Alley and specifically the kids in the Alley. How he was secretly a genius despite not letting anyone know about it. He was funny as hell and witty enough that he kept Tim on his toes. He was well read and wasn’t afraid to be in touch with his emotional side— as long as Tim wasn’t around or paying attention.
But when Jason was around, Tim was always paying attention.
He was nearly convinced that Jason was his soulmate, unfortunately, in all the years Tim had known Jason, a mark never appeared. And Jason never showed even the slightest of interest in Tim. Which meant it was time to move on. He couldn’t just wait in the wings hoping that one day Jason would realize that Tim was right there and in love with him.
“Heard you have a new vigilante name,” Jason said with a grunt, stirring Tim from his thoughts.
Tim sat up straighter.
“Yeah, I’ve been going by Ashwing. It’s based on the Ash Moth, which is my favorite moth and I got the idea from Imp who started calling me Moth a few years ago. I feel like it’s a good way for me to start to separate myself from the Bats,” Tim told him.
He had been planning it for nearly a year now. He was twenty-two now and he was ready to go off on his own. It wasn’t like he had much going for him in Gotham anymore. If he was ever going to move on from Jason and find his real soulmate in the world, he needed to leave. Conner had offered his guest bedroom in Metropolis but Tim had a few ideas in mind. First he wanted to travel, wanted to see the country as just a tourist rather than someone on a mission, he’d find his place naturally.
“You’re separating yourself?” Jason asked, his voice sounding off. He wasn’t wearing his helmet tonight, instead just a red domino and his literal red hood. After a beat of silence, he asked: “Why?”
Tim hummed and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m leaving next month. I need to wrap up a few loose ends but now that B has taken over his company again and doing well and everyone else is doing well, there’s no reason for me to stay. Being Robin and then Red Robin was always temporary. It was always just there to make sure that your family was taken care of. But they are, hell, you’ve even built good relationships with your family again. I don’t have any living family, I don’t really have anything in Gotham anymore. I want to move on.”
There was too much history in Gotham, too much pain. He couldn’t sit and watch from the outside anymore, he had to move on. Which meant he had to leave Gotham.
“Oh,” Jason said quietly. “That would make you happy?”
Tim shrugged his shoulders again, kicking his feet as he stared down at the city below them. “I think it’ll help me find happiness.”
“I see,” Jason said and let out a grunt.
A few moments went by and Jason spoke up once again, changing the subject. “There’s our perp.”
Tim scanned the ground before finding their guy. He raised his camera and started clicking pictures of the man shaking hands with the real guy they had been looking for. Some new guy wanting to get into the drug business between Bludhaven and Gotham, trying to find his new partnerships.
“Told you that Vic would lead us to him eventually,” Tim sang.
“Yeah whatever, you were right,” Jason muttered as he swung from the roof and made his way down to the two men on the corner. Tim let out a laugh as he watched Jason hold his gun towards their suspect as Vic ran away into the night. Tim would deal with him later.
“Ashwing’s lead was right, we’ve got Fontana,” Hood said over the comms device. “Ash, call authorities for our little friend down here.”
“Can do, Red,” Tim said before patching into dispatch. He may have been giving up on the chance for Jason to be his soulmate, but even after leaving Gotham, he knew there was a chance a part of him would always love him.
“Tim’s leaving Gotham!” Jason exclaimed, slamming the door to Dick’s apartment open. Dick looked up from his bowl of cereal, eyes wide.
“Yeah, I know,” Dick said around a mouthful of food a few heart beats later.
“How the fuck did you know and why didn’t you tell me?” Jason demanded, tugging at his hair.
“Because it’s not our place,” Barbara said, wheeling into the room. “And because it made sense.”
Jason let go of his hair and looked at the couple in disbelief. “What do you mean it makes sense? How the hell does it make sense? He told me there was no place here for him anymore.”
“Yeah, it’s been pretty obvious for like three months now that he’s been pulling away,” Dick said as he looked back at the television that was playing some shitty rom com. Jason moved to stand in front of it, placing his hands on his hips.
“And you’re just going to let him? I thought he was your little brother that you loved so much that you gave me a fucking shovel talk and threatened to kill me if I hurt him!” Jason exclaimed. “And now you’re tellin’ me that you don’t care he’s pulling away or moving!?”
Dick looked at Babs who shrugged her shoulders and set down his cereal as he let out a sigh.
“Listen, he’s twenty-two, it’s time for him to move on. We all do it, I left for Bludhaven, you became a crime lord, Tim is now going on his own journey to find himself. It’s normal, Jace,” Dick said gently. “And he’s not going to stay here and wait on you forever.”
Jason’s shoulders drooped. “He doesn’t love me. If he did, my soul mark would have appeared already.”
He had thought about it countless times. Telling Tim his feelings, wanting to get closer to the man, admitting that he had spent the years loving him from afar. But every single time he even made the attempt, he was reminded of what he had done, how he had hurt Tim. Not only that but he was reminded that there was no way in hell, Tim could ever love him. That fate was cruel and would never give them a soul mark. Because he would never in a million lifetimes ever be deserving of someone like Tim Drake.
“The soul mark appears when both of you are ready,” Barbara reminded him. “Tim’s been in love with you since you were Robin. But you’ve never been ready, you know you love him, you’ve loved him for a while.”
“But you’re chicken shit and keep running away,” Dick said with a sigh. “I mean how many times do you come over here and wax poetic about his hair or his eyes?”
“Oh Barbie, Tim laughed at me joke today! I didn’t think he was listening!” Barbara said in a deep voice.
“Big Bird! Did you see he looked at me today!?” Dick crooned, holding his interlocked hands to his face. Jason scowled at the assholes and started pacing. They were no help, all they were going to do was mock him over his feelings. He glared at the two, shutting both of their teasing up.
“I can’t let him leave,” he finally said.
“Then tell him how you feel,” Dick said, as if it were truly that simple.
“It’s not that simple, Dickhead!” Jason snapped, reiterating his thoughts.
He had a plan, he had spent the last five years working on the plan, trying his best to get Tim to feel comfortable around him. First he had started by showing up at the manor when Tim wasn’t around. This was because he wanted Tim to get used to the idea of Jason just showing up at the manor, but also was scared of scaring him with his presence. He didn't want to give Tim more trauma than he already had. Then he started to slowly show up when Tim was there, not talking or bothering him, just to make sure he was comfortable with Jason around. The last year he had finally started talking to Tim, having conversations with him, hanging out in the same room as him. It had finally been two years since Tim stopped flinching around him and Jason was ecstatic.
He had practically begged Dick to cancel and say he was sick so that Tim could replace him on the stakeout the night before. It would be the ultimate test to see if Jason could start getting closer with the younger man and if he was comfortable around Jason. It would be the moment where he would ask Tim if he wanted to go see a play with him the next night.
Only, instead of getting the chance to ask Tim on a totally not date, Jason got the most devastating news of his life.
Tim was leaving and it was his fault.
“Yeah it is. Just quit running away,” Barbara said, pulling Jason from his thoughts. She didn’t understand, though, Jason had hurt Tim, nearly killed him so many times now. She hadn’t demeaned Tim or made him feel unwelcome. Not like Jason had done in those first few years before he finally realized just how utterly special Tim Drake was.
“I don’t run away,” Jason said indignantly.
“You so do,” Dick said with a snort. “The other day Tim asked if you wanted to grab dinner with him and not only did you act like you didn’t hear him, you ran away. Just stay.”
Jason stopped pacing and looked at Dick. “You make it sound like it’s so fucking easy.”
“Because it is, Jason. I know you don’t believe us, but Tim has forgiven you, he loves you and you can’t decide that for him. You can rake yourself over the coals and try to convince yourself to do more to earn his forgiveness but that’s not up for you to decide. It’s up to him,” Barbara gave him a soft smile. “And he forgave you a long time ago. So, quit running away and just stay.”
“Are you not upset that he’s leaving?” Jason asked, changing the subject and Dick shrugged.
“I’ve been hoping that you’d get your head out of your ass and give him a reason to stay,” he said. “Then, once you do that. I can beat his ass and remind him that he’s a part of this family and we’re always here and he can’t just distance himself.”
“You’re a prick,” Jason declared and ran his hands across his face.
“Go, tell him now that you love him,” Barbara cheered.
“I hate this fucking family,” Jason muttered as he stormed out the apartment. He had no clue what he was going to do. Yes, Barbara and Dick thought he needed to tell Tim how he felt but they just didn’t get it, they would never get it. It wasn’t just what he did to Tim.
It was the fact that he wasn’t good enough for him.
He would never be good enough for someone like Tim.
Someone so smart and kind, someone who could have anyone in the world. And Tim would never love him, not the way he loved Tim. How could he? Jason was so utterly fucked up.
Tim woke up with a gasp, sitting up straight in bed as he pressed his hand to his burning wrist.
“What the fuck?” He whispered. He reached over and turned on his bedside lamp and looked down at his wrist and his heart stopped.
“Holy shit,” he whispered, running his fingers over the four letter word now marred in beautiful red script on the inside of his wrist. “There’s no way.”
His alarms chimed and Tim all but fell out of his bed as he rushed to the door. There was now way. It had to be a dream, there was no other answer to it.
He swung open the door and let out a disbelieving laugh as Jason fucking Todd stood before him, utterly soaked from the rain and looking absolutely and completely lost as he stood in Tim's doorway. He looked like a kicked puppy, big blue eyes staring at Tim with--with what looked like hope.
“Jason?” He asked, rubbing his tired eyes as if that would wake him up from the incredulous dream he was experiencing.
“I wasn’t planning on coming here, hell, I don’t even remember how I got here. I left Dick’s apartment and I was stressed and angry and I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. About how you said there was nothing keeping you here, in Gotham. And I don’t like that, I don’t want that to be true. Because Tim, I need you to know, that you can’t leave Gotham, you have to—”
Tim cut him off, holding up his wrist and smiled softly.
“Stay?” He interrupted, holding his wrist out for Jason to see. Jason blinked in surprise and shoved his hoodie sleeve up his arm and stared at his own wrist as if it held the secrets to the universe.
He mouthed the word quietly to himself and Tim suppressed a smile as Jason whispered it this time and looked at Tim, wide eyed.
“Stay?” Jason asked.
“Is that you asking me to stay?” Tim asked, grinning at him as he leaned against his door jam.
“I want to do this right, I need to explain myself,” Jason said breathlessly. “But I can’t do that unless you stay.”
Tim let out a giddy laugh, his heart soaring in his chest and his cheeks ached from how hard he was smiling. “Come inside and if your explanation is good enough, I’ll think about it.”
Jason’s shoulders drooped in relief and Tim stepped back to let his soulmate in. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay.