Work Text:
Angie laughed and screamed into the wind, whooping as it danced through her hair and filled her mouth with the smell of salt. She heard her classmates calling for her to sit back down inside the van, but instead she laughed louder, focusing on the rhythm of air rushing around her ears.
The sea glittered thousands of meters below them as they drove along the cliffs of Japan’s southern coast. It was the perfect getaway for a class trip—a break Angie’s class had all been needing since their first hectic few months attending Hope’s Peak Academy.
Angie breathed in the crisp ocean air like she was welcoming an old friend. It smelled just like the air back home.
Overwhelmed with gratitude, she pulled back from the window to clasp her hands together in prayer. How many wonders she had experienced through God’s grace! She couldn’t help but thank him for sending her here and making her a part of his divine, joyous plan.
Her excitement bubbled up and over and she bounced in her seat. Kaede, sitting next to her, chuckled and smiled, turning to follow Angie’s gaze out the window.
As soon as the van rolled to a stop, Angie pushed her way out and tumbled onto the grass, whooping and twirling away from her classmates. Some laughed, some demanded she come back to help them unload the car, but what did they matter? They were nothing compared to the expanse of the sublime before her. Instead she kicked off her shoes to feel the soft grass and spread her arms to feel the sun.
Rantaro had explained during the drive down that a current on the south coast brought warm water up from Polynesia, so the climate might be similar to Angie’s island. But she hadn’t expected it to be this similar.
She couldn’t believe how much it felt like home. The color of the sky, the gentle weight of moisture in the air, the temperature that would have been too hot if not for the ocean breeze—all of it made her feel like a kid again, staring out over the waves and wondering what else was out there.
At the edge, huge cliffs extended away from her on either side, forming a bay so vast that the tops of the furthest mountains disappeared into ocean mist. Sunlight dazzled along the waves and reflected off the cliffs in iridescent shades of blues and browns. The sea stretched out forever before her, only matched in its infinity by the sky.
It was a true wonder of God.
In absolute awe, Angie felt herself being drawn towards the edge. The voices of her classmates faded away into unimportance as she seemed to float towards the sun and the sea, entranced.
Grass gave way to sand and rough rock, and she stepped to the very edge of the cliff, the last outcrop jutting out into empty space. She wasn’t afraid of the drop below at all. It felt like home. The sea was deeply familiar, the ocean wind had been with her all her life. She felt cradled as the wind whistled around her, tugging playfully at her hair and coat. She would not slip, she was absolutely sure of it. God would not let her slip. She was completely confident in her footing as the warm rock hugged the soles of her bare feet.
It really was just like home. The light, the smell, the taste of salt, the wind. The presence of God, right in front of her, shining through fluffy white clouds. This was it. These were the places where God dwelled, where the majesty of his creation was undeniable, where she could feel the thousands of miracles he enacted to bring her to this exact moment.
Just to stand here felt like the greatest blessing imaginable.
The wind spiraled through her hair and coat, twisting them back and forth in a beautiful dance just for her and God to share. Sheer joy and love pulsed through her, and she felt herself smile wide.
In ecstasy, Angie raised her arms—as if to embrace it all, as if she could give these mountains and the sea a hug and never let go.
If she didn’t know the mountains and beaches of her island so well, she could have mistaken this view for her home. She felt as if someone would run up at any moment to call her back to her duties as oracle.
A song from her childhood seemed to float in with the wind, whispered to her from her memories. It was so faint she could only just identify the melody in snippets, but so familiar that the words immediately filled her mind.
A heavier thought loomed, like a stone dropped in a still pond, and when the ripples reached her Angie realized how much she missed that. She missed the feeling of familiarity, warm and reassuring.
Everything here was new and foreign. She was so excited for this new world, for her newfound freedom and the chance to finally see the rest of the world, but she always felt out of place.
The people here never said her name right. It was close, but never quite right.
Back home, she only needed to taste the air and glance at the sea to know what the weather would be like. She knew everyone’s names, every mountain, each and every tree. And she felt God everywhere.
It was so hard to feel God here. Everything was so loud all the time, and bright, but a cold and artificial brightness that never slept. When she did manage to visit the beach closest to Hope’s Peak, it was harsh and briny, nothing like the turquoise waters that she knew so well.
She didn’t know anything here. Or anyone. Not really.
Her body felt heavy and hollow. Angie was already used to the loneliness that came with being just a step down from God, but this was an altogether new kind of alienation, where not just the people but the sky and ground themselves rejected her. They had always been her friends before.
The ecstasy of the environment being so similar to home just felt cruel now, reminding her of what she had left behind.
This wasn’t her sea. This wasn’t her sky. These weren’t her mountains. It was the wrong blue, the wrong texture, it was all wrong. An uncanny valley of what used to be hers.
She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to be here. Not this cliff, not this school, not this country.
She just wanted to go home.
A cold wind suddenly whipped through her hair, no longer cradling but scolding. Something was wrong. A chill swept up from the waves, and a cloud passed before the sun, thin and sharp like a knife.
God was angry with her.
As quickly as the sunlight left her skin, reality flooded in and shame crashed down on her so hard she stumbled backwards.
What had she done? How could she forget?!
Wanting to go home? How insolent! How ungrateful! God himself brought her here. This country, this school, even this cliffside—it was all part of God’s divine plan that he had the grace to include her in.
She was supposed to be an extension of him, chosen and blessed to enact his will. She had the great honor of being his vessel. And vessels don’t get to make the choices.
What hubris, to go against that. How could she want to go home? How could she reject God’s gift and command, after all he had done for her?
Crushing, icy shame choked the ocean air out of her throat.
She had failed as his vessel.
“Angie!”
Angie’s breath returned and she instinctively turned around, body moving before her brain could catch up. For a wild moment, she was convinced that her earlier thought had come true, and someone from her island was calling her back to act as oracle.
Instead, Kaede stood behind her, face full of worry.
“Geez, you shouldn’t stand so close to the edge! I was– …Angie, are you okay?”
Angie felt a neutral smile automatically occupy her face—too late. She should have corrected her expression before she turned around. She had learned from a very young age that the voice of God can’t be scared, and especially can’t be sad.
After years of practice, the recovery came easily. “Am I okay? Nyahaha, how silly you are, Kaede! Look at this divine view!” She swayed back and forth, sweeping an arm out over the bay.
Kaede panicked, her hands waving around Angie anxiously. “Don’t do that so close to the edge!” she squeaked, reaching towards Angie. “Here, just–” Kaede took her hands and Angie allowed herself to be led back onto soft grass.
She expected to be led back to their classmates, still bustling around near their van, and that would be that. An embarrassing misstep, but nothing more.
But Kaede stopped once they were safely away from the cliff’s edge, and didn’t let go of her hands.
“Hey… what’s wrong?” Kaede said suddenly, searching Angie’s face.
Angie didn’t expect that level of directness. “Silly, silly Kaede, why would anything be wrong?” she laughed.
Kaede’s expression twisted into something frustrated. “Well, then, at least tell me what’s on your mind. There’s obviously something.”
It was probably best to give some kind of answer; Kaede could get stubborn. “Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about my island. It’s very similar, you know,” she smiled.
Kaede was silent for a moment, then her face lit up like she had solved a difficult puzzle. “Ohh, you’re homesick!” she exclaimed.
Homesick… Yes, that was right. And it was sickness, only appropriate to be rooted out.
“Well, that totally makes sense,” Kaede continued with a sympathetic smile. “It was already hard for me to leave home and start attending Hope’s Peak, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, coming from a different country!”
Angie blinked at Kaede, trying to understand her words. It makes sense..? And Kaede felt this too? But…it was different for Angie. She didn’t… She wasn’t allowed to…
Angie didn’t know what to say. She felt lost. So she stared at Kaede and said nothing. That had always worked for her before.
Sure enough, Kaede quickly got uncomfortable and changed the subject, laughing nervously. “Hey, uh, why don’t we rejoin everyone else? They’re setting up a picnic for lunch now. And maybe you can tell us all a bit about your island!” Kaede continued, smiling genuinely. “I know some things about you by now, but I don’t know much about your island itself.”
“Talk about…my island?” Kaede kept being so odd…
“Yeah! When I get homesick, telling stories about my family and friends back home always makes me feel better. It’s like I can take a little of what I loved from back home and bring it here.” Kaede’s eyes turned soft and fond, and her sincerity almost hurt.
Bring it here… That would be okay, wouldn’t it? If she didn’t want to go home, but just brought a little from home here… It felt like that would be alright. And if Kaede was right, maybe she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
“I…might be able to share a few things…”
Kaede beamed at her, sunlight in her smile. “Then, come join us soon, okay?” Kaede squeezed her hands, then let go, waving to their classmates as she walked away.
Angie looked out over the coastline. The sun was out again, and the waves shimmered. A gentle, insistent wind pushed at her back. God was urging her towards her classmates.
Yes, there was still work to be done. She was here for a reason. It wasn’t home, but God would give her the strength to adapt.
Kaede had made a home in this group, even though she was homesick too. Then… Angie should be able to do that too, right?
That song from her childhood played again in her ears, carried in along the waves from somewhere far away. Maybe she could share that song with her classmates, or at least with Kaede. She would like it.
The sea whispered encouragement, and the wind gave one more playful tug at her coat. It wasn’t the same wind and sea she grew up with, but it was God’s creation all the same.
As Angie turned back to face her classmates, she felt a genuine smile cross her face.