Work Text:
yushi was having cravings. not food cravings. boyfriend cravings.
it was late in the night, the usual ungodly hours and yushi had just finished reading a sappy romance novel in the comfort of his bed. oh how he wished he too had someone to yearn for. someone to cuddle up against.
these cravings did not come by often but when they did, he would become extremely restless and that combined with insatiable yearning was the formula for bad decisions. one of these recurring thoughts was to download a dating app. yushi has resisted for years. refusing to download the app as he wanted an organic love story with his future special someone. knowing someone from an app did not feel genuine to him and not to mention it removes the fairytale-like aspect which he so desperately craves for like the movies. what do you mean he doesn’t get to fall in love with the cute nerdy guy he sees at the book store every friday and they go from strangers to lovers. what do you mean a cute guy doesn’t offer him an umbrella while it’s raining after classes and they fall head over heels for each other. where was his happily ever after? yushi had always been a sappy romantic since young and has been eagerly waiting for his turn at experiencing romance. but even now at the age of 22, it never came. 22 years of no dating, no kissing, no romance. he was tired of holding onto hope that had already been long gone. now that he was in university, maybe it was finally time to put his delusions aside and surrender himself to the hell cycle of dating apps.
he navigated quickly to the app store, typing it into the search bar with all too familiarity. countless nights spent scrolling and reading reddit threads of others dating apps experiences. some were good, with people finding their lifelong partners. but majority were outrageously traumatising and they swore to never download them again. this always scared yushi. he definitely was not a stranger to the horrible dating scene of his current generation and how hard it was to find a decent guy to date. even so, then came the fear of would the guy be loyal? would he stop loving once he got bored of yushi and move on like he had never happened? yushi has many fears. which was why he would ultimately back down from downloading the app and continue on protecting his peace by living his sad single life. but not tonight. he had enough of mopping around pathetically and genuinely wanted to try dating.
his finger hovered over the install button. this was his last chance to back down before claiming it to be the night where impulsive decisions finally came into fruition. fuck it he did it. the password prompt came up and shortly after typing it in, the app was installing at an excruciating slow speed. just like that his 22 year perfect streak of resistance had been broken.
tapping into the app, he quickly authenticated and filled in his information. his hands shook while the app took its time loading. it was so exhilarating. he should not be experiencing such high levels of dopamine at this hour. after navigating through the interface a little, he had finally found the main page displaying other potential matches profiles. immediately the first profile shown made his heart stop. there displayed front and centre was oh sion, his best friend and current housemate living peacefully in the room across the corridor. since when was sion on dating apps?? he knew that sion was gay since they came out to each other a few years ago after he asked a little too much about the book yushi was reading. it was in fact heart stopper, he was unfortunately going through a phase don’t judge him. anyways one thing led to another and the rest was history. in fact, sion rarely talked about romance in general. it was mostly yushi who would always blabber on instead.
the top of his profile had the description “in your vicinity and filters match your type!” taunting yushi and he took that personally. this had to be some sick joke.
“ushi-ya! im ordering chicken do you want any?”
the timing could not be anymore perfect, said person he was shocked by had suddenly swung the door open, loudly announcing his presence. like a kid fearing of getting caught by his parents, he quickly hid his phone under the covers at lightning speed. this caused an eyebrow raise from sion who was displaying his phone with the delivery app open.
“why are you acting all embarrassed and guilty like i just caught you watching porn?“
yushi choked on his saliva, ears starting to tinge red. “i was not! why would even think that!” his screams of panic only making him seem more suspicious.
“right…whatever ill just order our usual. enjoy your porn!” sion like the brat he is giggled at the successful tease and scrambled back to his room. yushi was dumbfounded, heart still rapidly beating from the adrenaline. he didn’t know if it was from sion’s random appearance on the dating app or in human form. truth be told he had lost all boyfriend cravings now, so he went back to laying in the darkness of his room and staring blankly at the ceiling. his room was quiet, contrasting the absolute mess of a turmoil happening in his mind.
it suddenly hit him how the simple action of sion asking, yet knowing, his food order felt weirdly domestic. sion always knew what he wanted. to be fair they were attached at the hip since they were practically babies. both growing up as neighbours with mothers who are best friends and naturally had them attend the same school. sure sion was 2 years older than him, yet they never really felt a difference in age. their connection had been built on years of trust and occasional petty arguments. but at the end of the day, they would consider each other as true friends. sion knowing his preferences was a normal occurrence, yet why did it suddenly make his heart stutter when he referred to it as “their usual”. like it was something special only between the two of them. sure it was domestic but it was not supposed to be romantic right? just a couple of best friends being platonically domestic! yet why did a part of him not mind the implications of it being romantic.
he probably shouldn’t think too much about it and just deem it as the late night fatigue hitting. and if dreams about sion plagued his sleep that night, blame it on the sun for existing why dont you.
the next morning he could not concentrate at all. his best friend was occupying all his thoughts. there was practically a sion-shaped indent in his brain if you looked close enough. why was this happening? he needed to consult someone fast to cure him of this sudden illness. which was why he was barging into riku’s dorm, not caring that said person was mid make out session with his boyfriend on the couch.
“jaehee out now. its an emergency.” yushi yelled with no hesitation, not even phased by the public display of affection from the two. is it really public though when he just let himself into their private dorm? who knows.
riku yelped in surprise after hearing yushi enter and practically ripped the other person off him. jaehee only let out a weak whine while trying to chase his boyfriend’s lips. yushi was standing on business and already holding the door open. “sorry jagi, yushi is gonna murder me if i don’t console his cranky ass. ill see you later!” they kissed each other a final time and jaehee sadly dragged his feet out, an imaginary tail seen drooping behind him.
“did you know sion is on the dating apps.” yushi immediately spat out, eager to hear another person’s opinion about this situation he felt was ridiculous. “what no? why does this concern you anyway?” riku frowned and gave him a wary look. “why didn’t he tell me? does he not want me around anymore, that’s why he has to find a boyfriend. did he get tired of being my friend?”
“woah i’m sure sion isn’t like that. why not just ask him if it strangely bothers you this much?” riku tried to reason.
“hell no i’m not interested in his love life.”
“really? cause you’re making a huge deal out of this.”
“i mean i don’t care if he dates someone, but why didn’t he tell me he was interested in joining the dating scene? i could’ve helped him wingman!”
“you? wingman? maybe you should focus on your own love live first.” riku stifled a giggle.
“just say you hate me…” yushi whined in a high pitched voice while kicking his feet and pouting.
“look yuu-chan, i think you should really talk to him. i know how you have this habit of overthinking situations drastically. and you two are practically a married couple! he probably won’t mind telling you. just ask him if it bothers you this much.”
“we are not a couple!” yushi exclaimed and riku only narrowed his eyes as he stared, unimpressed.
“ugh fine i’ll talk to him.”
spoiler alert he did not talk to sion. he was a coward. a coward who did not want to hear the truth that sion was indeed bored of him. so instead, he decided to avoid said person like the plague. always leaving the dorm early instead of walking to campus together. always crashing at riku’s place instead of going back to his own. always finding excuses to escape sion’s plans.
sion definitely took notice of this and had enough. he dragged yushi out of his room one night and demanded a gaming session with him. yushi wanted to immediately retreat back to the safety of his room, clawing onto the walls while sion hauled his ass out. he eventually conceded since he could not fight against the monster’s strength. but he did not stay mad long especially when sion sweetened the deal by getting them takeaway pizza.
the fell into a peaceful silence with both concentrating hard on the gameplay. looks like the food made yushi lower his guard and drop his sulky attitude. that was until sion’s phone suddenly started blowing up with notifications. yushi tried to contain his curiosity, but the way he immediately grabbed his phone a little too fast and started stupidly grinning at the messages made something foul boil inside.
“did your boyfriend text you or something.” an eye roll slipped and so did the snarky remark.
the grin on sion’s face immediately dropped, replaced with a confused frown.
“my what? what are you talking about?”
“nevermind its whatever, forget i said anything.” just as yushi went to put down the controller, sion placed his hand on top. firmly holding on, afraid that he was going to run again.
“no yushi it’s not whatever. what’s going on? why do you keep avoiding me? did hyung do something wrong?”
“why didn’t you tell me you were on the dating apps.” yushi said through his pouty lips. sion was now beyond confused. yushi came prepared though, immediately pulling out the screenshots of his dating profile.
“oh that. wonbin and the guys created a profile for me a few days ago as a joke. i didn’t bother to open it and eventually forgot about it.”
yushi was skeptical about this, even though he knew better than to not trust his longtime friend.
“are you keeping secrets from me? i thought we were best friends, do you not want to be around me anymore?”
“of course not! you’re the most important person to me, i would never do anything to hurt you.”
not gonna lie it sounded like he was a desperate ex who got caught cheating and was trying to explain himself. those previously forgotten domestic thoughts slowly started to resurface again. maybe riku was right, they did act and fight like a couple even though they weren’t one.
“stupid question, but have you heard about the rumours of us? of everyone saying that we act like a couple.”
sion pretended to think for a while. “not really…care to elaborate?” he said in a cheeky tone. this was not received well by the other as yushi had punched him in the arm. the impact was not as strong as he hoped for unfortunately, because sion just started giggling more.
“i’m playing of course i have, but i quite enjoy the praise. i think we would make a great couple.” a smirk followed by the warmth of sion’s body leaning in closer. yushi’s defenses were up, he quickly turned his back towards him instead.
“is this a joke to you? sometimes i genuinely can’t tell if you flirt with me as a friend or something more. im so tired of this hyung.” yushi shouted unable to contain his outrage anymore and stood up from the couch. a hand immediately reached out, tightly holding onto his wrist.
“wait! don’t go yushi please….” the older looked like a deer caught in headlights, desperately trying his best to hold on. the pure terror in his eyes fully broke yushi and he started crying. unable to hold back anymore, he crashed himself into sion’s embrace.
“please look at me yushi.” steady hands held flushed red cheeks, yushi tilted his face towards him. then came the sensation of thumbs carefully wiping away each single tear being shed. never pressing too hard, only gentle touches hoping to soothe.
in a hushed breath yushi whispered, “you are so annoying and stupid.“
“yeah i’m stupidly in love with you, more than a best friend.”
yushi gasped. this was it. the confession that was going to change their relationship forever. his heart drummed wildly. he was sure his legs would’ve gave way if it wasn’t for sion holding him protectively against his chest, like an anchor. oh sweet sion… he was always there when he needed him the most. like a knight in shining armour. how stupid yushi thought. no other guy or fictional protagonist could ever compare to his sion. maybe the love story yushi had hoped for since little had always been there right beside him after all, in the form of his best friend. be it platonic or romantic love, there had always been love in his life as long as sion was around.
“i’m not expecting for you to reciprocate my feelings. in fact i swore to burry them till the day i died. if it meant that i get to be by your side in the future even as a friend, so be it. just please don’t push me away. say something, i’m begging.” yushi didn’t realise he was zoning out until his whole body was being shaken awake.
“you really are too kind to me...i don’t deserve your love. i’m sorry for being annoying. i’m sorry for not being able to express my feelings well. i’m sorry if i ever hurt you.” he choked out, bawling his eyes out.
“never say that again and please stop apologising. you are the best thing that ever happened in my life and i will never regret being your friend yushi.”
yushi’s glassy eyes found sion’s and it felt like the whole world had stopped. there was so much fondness in the older’s eyes that he felt like was going to explode. this was even better than the books had described love to be.
“can i kiss you?” the older asked in a hushed tone as he rubbed circles onto the soft cheeks he was still holding onto.
“you’ll be my first you know?” yushi timidly admitted, feeling a little self conscious that sion might think of him as a loser with no experience.
“well you’re mine too. you always have been my first. my first friend, my first crush and now my first kiss.”
“i hope i’ll be your first and last one then.”
“no one else compares to you my darling.”
lips met lips and yushi felt fireworks. kissing sion’s plush lips was so much better than anything ever. it truly was a new life altering addiction he could get used to. strong hands wrapped around his waist, forcing bodies to press together incredibly close. all senses were overwhelmed in the best way possible.
“i love you so much.” sion had whispered like a secret promise between them. he pulled back to stare at the shorter’s face endearingly, gently rested his forehead against the other.
“i love you too.” yushi shyly confessed, burying his face in the crook of sion’s neck. the tips of his ears were clearly red, peaking out from the sides. an eruption of laughter could be heard after.
if yushi had to describe what love felt like, it would be a combination of many things. it was warm like an embrace. it was the weight of your body vanishing as you float gently through air. it was the feeling of running through endless fields, laughing till your cheeks hurt. and as he locked eyes to share a longing gaze with the one person who made life worth living for, he truly could not wait to experience more instances of love.
in that moment where both boys embraced each other in their cramped and dimly lit dorm room which they called home, he finally realised what it meant to be loved and to love. he wanted sion to be his forever and for him to mean the same too.