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The worst part isn't even Evourai's bones snapping and breaking under the crushing weight of Luigi's special attack. It's not how his soul gets ripped free from his body with great violence without so much as a chance to blink and react.
He can't scream in shock when he respawns. He can't gasp for air even if his lungs beg him to. Instead, his fingers curl into the sheets of the white bed he finds himself upright in. He can't breathe with how his chest curls in on itself with a fear that makes his insides feel like a black hole. In this little cove in the railgun's chamber, Evo comes back to life, and he knows the worst is yet to come.
Minute told him not to go.
If he weren't gripping onto the sheets so tightly, his hands would surely shake. This is exactly why he's considered the worst teammate to ever join an SMP; half of their hard-earned legendaries, gone just like that. Let's be real though, they were more Minute's than they were ever his.
The thought finally gets him to swallow the bitter lump in his throat. His head hangs with shame when his body finally recognises he's not in an active fight anymore, and the adrenaline kicks into gear for a whole different reason. He refuses to let any tears gather in his eyes.
Beyond the cove, Minute's mumbling reaches him. Confusion is pretty easy to hear, the frustrated and angry tilt to his voice even easier. Evo flinches in on himself.
Doesn't he know? Did Minute ever realise who he teamed with? Maybe he will now, and maybe Evourai's good streak of having a close friend who trusts him is finally, finally over. He knows it's always been inevitable. Still, the realisation tears at his heart like the sharpened claws of a starved wolf, painful and terrible. He's not ready to see just how disappointed Minute will be.
Eventually, his teammate rounds the corner, one hand lingering on the stone wall while he takes him in. Evourai can't get himself to meet his eyes. To save himself the embarrassment, he tears his nails free from the bed and heaves a deep breath that supplies him with absolutely none of the air he really needs.
"How did that even happen?" Minute asks. He doesn't stray further in, instead blocking the torchlight from reaching Evo's face. A fear once again coils in his stomach, this time at the sight of such an ominous player in the lack of light, his glowing white eyes the only thing he can really see of his face. There's no expression to make out beyond the slight frown. The shimmering armour and Bloodlust sheathed by his side are burned painfully into his awareness. What are the chances the bed will be broken and his blood spilled?
"I don't know—" he chokes out. Part of him is surprised he even manages to say anything at all. His body feels like it's shutting down already, expecting the worst, fearing more than even that.
Minute moves, and Evo dares only a quick glance up to see him approach. When he gestures to the bed, he frowns.
"Can I sit? I don't want to crush your legs … again." He says it with a chuckle that's more air than laugh, but it's so like how Minute usually is that he doesn't know how to react exactly to the lack of anger immediately directed towards him.
He pulls his legs to his chest, leaning back against the wall. His heart is beating out of his chest with nerves at this point, And yet, Minute looks nothing but calm when he sits too and turns his head enough to let the light fall onto his face and reveal his expression.
He's not mad. He's not mad. Evo can't believe he's not mad.
"Does it still hurt?"
He swallows down a laugh. Of all things he could've expected, this isn't it. Minute reaches for his hand and when he gives in, he's inspected for any lingering wounds that respawn refused to fix. Any touch is gentle. When Evo tells him no, lying through his teeth, he doesn't even get scolded for being stupid. Instead, a golden apple is handed over that he's instructed to eat … and slowly at that.
At the first bite, he still refuses to look at the other. The sweetness on his tongue is overwhelming, more so than the healing that courses through his body—at slower intervals now that he's not chugging down on the apple so fast it's more counted as inhaling than eating.
He hums softly and lets the apple rest on the bed because he can't find the energy to keep his arm up. "Minute … are you mad?" he asks, because he has to ask, because people are good at lying with their faces and he could totally be mad. If he is, he wants to know. False hopes do nothing for him but break his heart more, make his anxiety worse, kill any remaining want for teammates in other servers. He knows he doesn't deserve as much, not with how he fucks up each and every time, but forgive him for being selfish and believing Minute would spare him from that.
A sigh. Evo keeps himself from flinching at it. "No bro, I'm not mad. Not at you and not at Luigi. I'm …" he pauses to collect his thoughts and breathes in, chest rising and then falling again. It's only then that Evourai realises his other hand is still being held by Minute, albeit loosely. "I'm frustrated. I know this wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't think we'd lose half our weapons this far into it. Luigi must've had some crazy tech to pull this off, it's GGs. We'll back up from this, bro."
He can cry. He doesn't, but he could. There isn't even the slightest hint that Minute will kick him out. This is still their goal, and they will get back up from this.
Minute looks at him, a smile pulling at his lips that tries to be encouraging. Evo squeezes his hand, the favour gets returned, and it somehow banishes the anxiety from his chest, slowly but surely. He tries for his own smile, which is rewarded with a few gentle circles rubbed into his palm by Minute's thumb. The motion soothes not only the rest of his fears, but the remaining aches in his hands too—something he's been feeling an awful lot lately, he assumes from cramping around these weapons so much.
"We have to figure out a plan," Evo says decidedly. If it's some kind of test to see if Minute would still backtrack, it fails, because Minute grins and gives him a confident nod.
"We will."
He won't tell him what others say about him, what he always proves to be. Minute doesn't seem to believe he's the worst teammate ever just yet, he'd like to keep it that way. Besides, they have a railgun to use and legendaries to claim; if he ever tells him about this, it will be when it's over and they've won.