Chapter Text
Lloyd was only five when he realised he was different. At first, he didn’t think much of it. He was five, he didn’t understand why other children’s parents would pull their kids away from him, why the adults would whisper about him like he’d done something wrong, or why the other kids he’d been playing with just the day before suddenly started avoiding him. He especially didn’t understand why his mother was so upset, not for a while. Lloyd got the message eventually: he was different.
The son of Garmadon.
At six, Lloyd finally understood what it meant to be different. It meant being alone. Having no friends and teachers who neglected him because they assumed he was destined to grow up and be just like his father. It meant strangers who’d glare at him, murmur unkind things about him and his mother, judge them simply for existing. And Lloyd, small and innocent, still couldn’t quite grasp why. All he knew was that it wasn’t fair, so being young and confused and mistreated, he began acting out.
If people thought he’d be like his father, like Lord Garmadon, then he’d be like his father. He’d be cruel, scare them away. And maybe, just maybe, if Lloyd was evil enough, his dad would notice him and come home.
Lloyd was ten when he gave up the act.
Four years at Darkley’s School for misbehaving children (a place his mother had no choice but to enrol him in since no where else would take him) gradually broke down his villainous spirit. The kids at Darkley’s were mean, it was a place Lloyd never belonged in no matter how tough and nasty he acted. He never liked being naughty, he just didn’t want to be weak and alone. He just wanted his dad to return, his mother to be happy.
It was his uncle who found him when Lloyd had run away after Darkley’s expelled him. His father’s brother, Wu. Wu who took Lloyd to the old Monastery that he’d grown up in alongside Garmadon, who shared stories of his brother before he’d turned to evil unwillingly. Lloyd learned that his father's villainy came from the bite of a snake that could turn the purest of hearts cruel. Even still, his father had fought the snake's venom for decades, slowly corrupting as he aged until he could no longer resist his evil temptations.
Since that day, Lloyd had made an oath to fight evil in his fathers honour.
From that day, Lloyd began training under his uncle, now Sensei Wu, to become the Green Ninja.
Lloyd was thirteen when he first faced his father… defending Ninjago City and being declared a new symbol of peace and protection. That fight was engraved in Lloyd's mind permanently, but the part he remembers the most is crying himself to sleep that night. Because that was the first clear memory he had of his father.
A year later, Wu introduced Lloyd to his new team. Five ninja in-training, each representing a different element: fire, water, earth, ice and lightning. At first, they all remained anonymous. Hiding their identities even from each other, wearing their masks at all times and going by code names (colours: red, cyan, black, white, blue and green). Wu claimed it was a test of trust, Lloyd knew it was for the sake of his own privacy. How could this team trust and respect him as their leader if they knew he was the son of their greatest enemy?
Predictably, the secret identities thing didn’t last long. First off, red and cyan were brother and sister. Kai and Nya, twins to be precise. Then, black and blue revealed they were close friends off duty. Cole and Jay. And white… he was unusual in a way that made it easy to place him if you paid attention, Zane. Though only because it turned out they all attended Ninjago City Academy.
Lloyd, being stubborn and stern, was still reluctant to expose himself after six months. But it grew more difficult to hide by the day, trust began to waver due to his hesitancy and bonding was becoming impossible as there was little he was open to sharing out of fear. So, with his uncle's support, Lloyd too shared his identity.
It went… Well, there had been shock definitely, suspicion too at first. But eventually, and faster than Lloyd could have ever imagined, the team warmed up to him. To Lloyd, not the Green Ninja, but Lloyd.
He finally felt like he belonged. With friends and a purpose, Lloyd felt invincible.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Then he was fifteen.
All of a sudden, his world slowly began to tilt askew. Lloyd felt like he was lagging behind while everyone else moved forward, like he was lacking something so important, something that had just happened for everyone else yet neglected him.
Attraction.
It was subtle in the beginning, topics gradually shifting, changing under the radar. A conversation that lasted a couple sentences then moved onto something else. Until the subject became more frequent, then longer, more detailed. It became something unavoidable, a subject that arose at least once a day. Everyone putting forward their opinions, their interests, their types. Everyone but Lloyd.
He didn’t notice girls like that, not like Kai who’d flirt with any girl who’d give him the time of day. Not like Jay, who spoke (in)discreetly of a famous actress who closely resembled Nya in both appearance and personality. Not like Zane, who had grown close to a girl named Pixal from his coding club. Not like Cole, who actually really seemed disinterested in anything that wasn’t music, art and kicking ass but could easily get along with any girl with minimal effort.
Lloyd felt lost. Though, with everything else on his plate, could he really be worrying about romance? Or more so, the lack thereof. He chocked it up to the fact the only girl friend he had was Nya, who he loved, but definitely not like that. But that feeling of being two steps behind everyone else didn’t cease.
It was only during a sleepover with Kai and Jay did Lloyd place that odd sense of misplacement. The three were at Jay’s house for Saturday night, engorging themselves on sweets and fizzy pop while binge watching action films in the Walker sitting room. Lloyd could count the seconds it took for Kai and Jay to start discussing the actresses on one hand. He, however, was focussed on the actual movie itself.
Until a particular character was introduced. A laid back, sarcastic guy with dark hair and dark eyes and a too small shirt that didn’t leave his biceps much room. Though the bit that made Lloyd feel all fuzzy was one of his lines, ‘Being a hero doesn’t just mean stopping the bad guy, it means saving the people.’
Lloyd lay awake later that night while Jay and Kai snored away, only just then clicking the pieces of the puzzle in place and discovering what that feeling had meant.
Which scared him more than not knowing at all.