Chapter Text
Robby couldn't move, anchored to where he was by twisted roots of guilt and shame as he stood on the roof watching it all fall apart. He doesn't remember coming up to the roof, lost of in a daze of his own thoughts, needing air higher than the ambulance bay, just needing to catch a breath when Robby found Frank.
He wasn't standing in his spot, and for a moment, Robby's heart fluttered in relief before it was quickly swallowed whole by concern at the sight before him, Frank broken, shaking, silently sobbing against the metal post of the rail.
"Frank."
"No. No." Frank gasped out, wet and desperate. "No, please, no."
At first, Robby thought it was the panic; it was only when Frank shifted, curling himself further away from Robby's touch, that it hit Robby that Frank was denying him.
He couldn't breathe. It was him.
Robby missed the sound of footsteps, measured and assured. "I got it, brother."
The words brushed past Robby like the wind, and Robby could only stand there as he watched Jack crouch down. He didn't put a hand on Frank's shaking shoulders, but started talking low and deep, getting Frank to match his breathing.
Robby couldn't hear what Frank was saying over the rushing sound of blood in his ears. He couldn't move, forced to watch the man he had cared for, loved so completely, reject him and get help from another. Frank was spiralling, and Robby was once again unable to reach out, to pull him close, to help, to do anything.
The realisation struck him in a cold strike of lightning, burning through his veins so swiftly it physically hurt. It wasn't about the drugs now, or the betrayal, it wasn't the months of silence, or the fact that Robby didn't see it and Frank didn't come to him....
He did this. He threw them away.
Robby couldn't move, anchored to where he was by twisted roots of guilt and shame as he stood on the roof watching it all fall apart, and he had no idea if he could put it together again.
As he watched Jack pull Frank into his arms, Frank's hands clenching the back of Jack's scrubs like Jack was the only one in that moment keeping him from drifting away, for a moment, Robby wondered if it would be best for Frank if perhaps he didn't.
Deep beneath the guilt and the shame, the hurt, and the anger, a little voice whispered in the early dawn light telling Robby something he already knew.
Robby was a selfish man.