Chapter Text
“We will wake them up.”
“No, we won’t.”
“You need to be quieter.”
“You need to stop talking then.”
Two pairs of bare feet on freezing cold stone floor barely making any sound.
“They just stopped keeping someone outside our door so we wouldn’t run away.”
“We’re not running away.”
“I don’t know if they’ll know a difference.”
“Then go back to bed.”
“I’m not leaving you alone to be caught.”
The door opens somewhere in the distance and two small figured duck behind a corner. Only Elrond needs to be here, Elros should have stayed behind. But he wouldn’t stay behind, would he? He still thinks the brothers will hurt them and doesn’t trust them even a little bit. He thinks Elrond is stupid for trusting them. Really, Elros thinks Elrond is stupid to even speak to the brothers. Elros still doesn’t, at least not properly. Oh, his brother will say things but they’ll be addressed to the room or to Elrond. The only time Elros addresses them is when he screams at them to leave him alone.
But Elrond knows the brothers won’t hurt him or Elros. They could have already, so many times. They definitely would have the last time, when Elros convinced him to try to run away and when the twins were caught they both tried to fight the brothers. He saw one of brother’s people almost hitting Elros and Maedhros stopping the ellon immediately and they never saw that particular elf up close again (Maglor promised that while the ellon was still around, he was not allowed to come close to the twins again). Elros even managed to give Maglor a black eye. If the brothers were ever going to hurt them, it’d have been then. But they didn’t, they brought Elrond and Elros back, Maedhros just sighed tiredly, dropped them off to the door of their room and then told them to stay inside and wait for Erestor to bring them dinner (Maedhros never comes into their rooms). That was half a year ago and the twins haven’t tried running away since then.
It'll be fine Elrond says into their bond wrapped around a blue feeling of being safe.
They aren't going to get hurt and he's run out of things to read. They have lessons in the morning and practice in the courtyard in the afternoons but they’re free to do what they want in the evenings and he wants to read. It’s probably not evening anymore, well, it’s definitely nighttime now, but he couldn’t sleep and he wants to read and he finished his book. He needs to go to the library and find something new to read. But Elros doesn't trust the brothers so now there are two of them sneaking around the fortress.
Whoever had opened the door in the distance doesn’t come in their directions and the twins turn around the corner again and…
Elros screams, both out loud and into their bond, which flares white in panic. Elrond covers his mouth but it’s too late. Elros has proven over and over again that he could be heard well into the fortress when he screams at the brothers and this is a scream of shock, somehow louder than even that.
Elrond looks at Maglor, who is standing halfway down the corridor, trying to see through the white haze of Elros' panic. Maglor is walking in his direction and he knows the brothers wouldn’t hurt them but he still flinches and takes a few steps back, dragging Elros with him but Maglor doesn’t react. In fact, Maglor doesn’t even seem to notice them. He stands in the middle of the corridor, with a sword in his hand (and not a practice sword the twins are used to seeing him with), staring at something behind Elrond. Elros tries to scream again, Elrond clamps his hand on Elros's mouth harder and projects blue safety into the bond as the panic from his twin is making it harder to see and focus and he needs to think. Maglor is not looking at them, he isn't reacting to Elros's screams, it's like he doesn't know they're there.
“I don’t think he can see us, come on, let’s go” he says quietly to Elros. He looks at his twins and is firmly not looking anymore at Maglor, he needs to get himself and Elros out of there and to safety. He's trying to let Elros see what he's seeing, projects the blue safety and turns his head to the way they need to go. They wouldn’t hurt them on purpose, those brothers but Maglor doesn’t seem to know he is there. But Elros is barely holding himself up and when Elrond tries to pull him by his arm he collapses on the floor.
That is the moment Maglor starts moving again, walking towards them and Elros, already on his knees, screams again.
He needs to get away, he needs to run, he needs to get to safety, to the closest hiding spot (and the twins knew every single one in the vicinity). Elrond can’t go because his twin is on the floor and he is screaming and the white panic is making it hard to see.
Footsteps, not bothering to hide the sound like the twins did, running. Maglor is moving towards them, Elrond collapses to his knees next to Elros. His twin is screaming and someone is running and he is coming and Elrond can’t do anything, the white panic overwhelming his sight and thoughts.
“Elros, we need to go, we can’t be here” he tries again.
“Boys, you need to go with her, you can’t be here”
But it was too late then and it’s too late now because Maglor reaches them and he wrapps himself around Elros and it is him screaming now, too.
“Maglor, stop!” a new, sharp voice says over Elros’s screams. “Maglor, wake up!” louder than his screams and the white panic and how can that be? The panic is everywhere and everything.
Elrond presses his face into Elros’s neck, like he did then too, if they’re going to die he’s not going to let go of his twin. Back then, they didn’t know what the danger was, he only knew he couldn't let go of his brother, had to stay with him no matter what was coming. He knows what the danger is now, he's seen what happened then, what the brothers did and now he clings to his brother even more.
“Erestor, get them up” the voice says. “Maglor, wake up!”
“We won’t hurt you or your children if you give us the Silmaril” said the same voice, coming from the the white panic in the bond.
“Elrond, Elros, you need to get up.”
“No, please, don’t hurt us” Elros whimpers and Elrond presses harder against his twin's back. He's not screaming anymore, you need to breathe to scream and he’s holding his breath, he closes his eyes and holds his breath and the panic surrounds him.
“We won’t hurt you” Erestor's voice is really close to them.
“No, don’t, nana” Elros whispers the last word and Elrond sucks in a breath in shock because their mum isn’t here, she won’t help and he sobs.
“Maglor, come this way, you’re in Amon Ereb, you need to come to bed” the voice says. Maedhros, it’s Maedhros and Maedhros isn’t safe, he was there.
“Boys, I’m not going to hurt you, you’re safe, but we should go, we need to go” Erestor urges and Erestor wasn’t there. Erestor wasn’t there and Erestor has been helping him learn languages every day. Elrond sobs and doesn’t let go of Elros but he lifts his head slowly and opens his eyes and tries to see through the white. Erestor is kneeling on the floor next to them and reaching his hand to him.
“Erestor-” he chokes out.
“Maglor, you need to come with me, you need to come to bed” Maedhros says sharply somewhere above them.
“Elrond, we need to go but you’re safe” Erestor says and he wants to believe him, Erestor wasn’t there. But Elros is crying and he’s not letting go of Elrond and then…
Then there’s a sound of steel on steel and he screams again and closes his eyes and Elros is screaming in his arms too. And then something falls to the ground and he opens his eyes and looks up to sees Erestor reach for it.
“Maglor, you’re in Amon Ereb, you need to come with me” Maedhros says above them.
Erestor is holding a sword, that's what he was reaching for. Elrond curls closer into Elros as Erestor looks at them.
"Elrond, you need to come with me."
"Elrond, Elros, you need to go with Haewen, you need to hide."
Erestor is holding a sword. He is not safe, they are not safe. Elros looks up and he doesn't scream but he clutches at Elrond's arms so hard it's painful and makes a keening noise. They are going to die. Erestor makes a move to get closer.
"No, please! We haven't- we haven't done anything, we don't have it!" he realises he knows the voice that says it and oh, it's his voice. He shuffles, as much as he can while clutching at Elros, away from Erestor.
"Elrond, you're safe, I'm not going to-" Erestor starts but Elrond screams and tries to shuffle away further. He can't move further because Elros is in the way, his brother still making that keening noise because Erestor came with the brothers and now they're going to die. The white panic is getting brighter,
"Erestor, drop the sword" Maedhros says above them sharply.
"I'm trying to keep it from Maglor…"
"He's not trying to… Maglor, wake up!" there's a scuffle noise. "Erestor, just drop it and get them."
Erestor drops his swords and tries to move towards them but Elrond screams again and tries to scramble back further again and he and Elros fall to the ground in a tangle of limbs.
"Erestor, get… Oh, Eru's sake, Uhaelben get Maglor, Erestor help them!"
He hides his face in his brother's sleeping braids as Erestor moves away from them.
"Please don't" Elros says quietly and the white pulses behind Elrond's eyes. He lifts his head and sees that Maedhros is kneeling next to them. He blinks to try to clear the white panic from his sight and looks at Maedhros, who isn't in armour, like Maglor but wearing soft sleeping clothes, whose hair is braided the same as his own and Elros's and is holding his hand and wrist up and. Where is his hand? Elrond blinks and the panic clears from his eyes a little as he tilts his head, looking at Maedhros.
"I know you're scared but we're not going to hurt you" Maedhros says quietly, softly.
Above them Erestor is speaking to Maglor but Elrond can't hear what is said, he's shaking and clutching to his brother but his thoughts are calming down and his sight clears a little more. Maedhros doesn't look scary, he doesn't look like when he took them, he looks. He looks scared?
"I want to help you get to your room so we can get away from Maglor" Maedhros says quietly, still keeping his hand up so Elrond can see it. "No one is going to hurt you, I promise."
Elros looks up and the noise he's making is quiter and the white panic is softer. Elrond hides his head in his brother's braids again and breathes in the smell of rosemary from Elros's hair oil but he still can't stop the shaking. He can't close his eyes because then he'd be there and he can't look at what's happening around him without white panic overwhelming him, so without lifting his face from his brother's hair he makes a questioning noise.
"Elros, can you walk? Elrond?" Maedhros asks, still in that quiet, soft voice. Elrond shakes his head and can feel Elros's head shaking, too. "Can I help?"
"No!" Elros whimpers and hides his face in his arms again. "No, you're gonna take us away, I don't wanna go. I want to stay with nana."
Elrond whimpers into his brother's braids and hears Maedhros move and then a quiet thump but he doesn't look up, he squeezes his arms around Elros.
We're not with nana, Elros he pushes into their bond. We're in Amon Ereb, remember? he says into the white panic and he hopes his twins can hear him. The white becomes a little grey at the edges, confused, he recognises. Elros' side is always grey when he doesn't know something. He opens his eyes and looks at Maedhros through the white-grey-ish haze and sees that he is know kneeling on the floor where he was crouching down next to them a moment ago.. Maedhros's throat is working like he's trying to say something and his eyes are… wet? Like there are tears in them but that can't be right because Maedhros never cries, Elrond has never seen him upset. Snappy, angry, calm, quiet, Maedhros doesn't get sad, he didn't get sad there. Maedhros never gets sad and that's weird and doesn't fit and the white panic clears from Elrond's mind as he takes a deep breath. They're in Amon Ereb and they're safebut it's hard to see because Elros is so scared.
"You're not going to hurt us?" he asks quietly.
"Of course not" Maedhros says just as softly as earlier. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to get you to your room so we get away from Maglor."
Elrond tries to project the feeling of hesitant safety down the bond to Elros but he almost gets swept under the white panic again.
"Elros, we need to go to our room" he murmurs softly and hugs his twin close to himself. "We need to go because Maglor is here but he can't come into our room, Uhaelben won't let him."
Elros whimpers in an answer and pulls Elrond's arms closer to himself.
"He's too scared to- he's not going to go, he's still too white in his head" he says quietly to Maedhros and sees him confused for a moment and then look down at Elros.
"Right, I can help, do you think I can help? I can carry him to your room" Maedhros is still speaking softly, despite the chaos around them and gets up from his knees and takes a step closer to the twins.
Elrond gently untangles one of his arms from his brother's grip and hums a soft tune that usually helps with dimming the white in his head. Elros lets go of one his arm but clings to the other.
"I dont think- he's not going to let go of my arm, I can't help more with the white or I'll feel it again" he looks down, he wants to help but he doesn't know how to do more.
Maedhros looks confused for a moment again. He glances down at twins entangled arms, Elrond's right gripped by Elros's both.
"That's fine, that's okay. I'll lift him on my left side but I need you to use your free hand to hang on to my other shoulder so you can both come up, do you think you can do that?"
"I think so- maybe, I'll try."
"That's great, Elrond, you're doing really well. When I lift him, stand up so he doesn't hurt your shoulder" Maedhros crouches down next to them and gets his left arm under Elros, who makes a keening noise again. "I know, child, I know but I will not hurt you and I'm going to get you back into safety now" he says softly as he lifts Elros gently. Elrond tries to get up but his knees are week and he's shaking, he can only get up to his knees but that's enough for his arm to stay in Elros's grasp and not hurt.
"I can't- Can't stand" he says quietly to Maedhros, who's gently moving Elros to settle against his shoulder.
"That's fine, you can lean on me, just wrap your arm around my neck or grab on my shoulder, whichever feels more secure" Maedhros instructs quietly.
He reaches and wraps his free arm around Maedhros's shoulder and then feel an arm grab around his legs.
"You're gonna have to hold on tight, you can grab into my tunic" Maedhros instructs him and as he does and squeezes his arm around Maedhros's shoulder he feels the ellon wince and his breath hitch. "No, keep going, it's fine."
"I don't- Does it hurt?"
"You're not hurting me, it's fine. I'm going to stand up now, just hold on tight."
Maedhros slowly gets up and Elros jerks in his arm and starts making a keening noise again.
"Elros, we're fine" Elrond whispers and moves his arm to touch his twin's face. "We're fine, he's going to help us get to our room" he closes his eyes and let's the white panic in a little. It's even more grey at the edges now, Elros getting more confused. He shakes his head and pushes it away and pushes the blue safety towards it.
Elros's breath hitches.
"Warm" his twin mumbles into Maedhros's shoulder.
"Yes, warm. We're safe" he feels Maedhros's confused hum more than he hears it.
"I'm going to take you to your room now, Elrond hold on tight as you are doing" Maedhros says and starts walking. away from the raised voices.
Elrond looks over his shoulder and frowns as he sees Erestor is trying to stop Maglor from coming towards them.
"Why is he trying- why is he coming after us?" he asks and hears Elros whimper in fear.
"Elrond, don't looks at them, you're safe. I don't think he's trying to come after you, I think he's having a nightmare" Maedhros explain quietly as he's walking away from the scene behind them. He gently nudges Elrond's head with his shoulder and his breath hitches the same weird way as earlier.
Elrond closes his eyes and turns his head, hiding his face in Maedhros's tunic but he can't stop hearing the noises, even though he can't understand what they're saying, at least not much of it, as they're using Quenya. Elros stiffens against his side again and he sends blue safety down their bond to his twin and hums again, which helps because he can focus on the melody and not what he hears, until Elros subsides again, his breath hitching but he's relaxed again, he even reaches with one hand and grabs Maedhros's tunic to hold on to it.
"How do you do this?" Maedhros asks quietly.
"How do I do what?"
"How do you calm him down with Song like this. You- hmmm. Maglor is the best Singer I know and he couldn't do that until he was much older."
"I don't know what you mean" he says quietly. He cracks his eyes open a little and looks at Maedhros curiosly. "What do you mean?"
"When you hum to him like this he calms down. Has Maglor not explained Song to you?" Maedhros's brow furrows as he glanced down at him.
"I know what Song is. I'm not- I don't understand what you mean about calming Elros down with Song" he blinks up at Maedhros. Of course he knows what Song is, he's known it forever, he's known how to match it just as long. But he's not Singing to Elros?
"So he didn't teach you this?"
"No, I've always done it, that's not Singing. Am I- Do you want me to stop?"
Maedhros hums another confused sound, his brow still furrowed. "No, don't stop, it helps. Is it not making you tired?" he asks eventually.
"A little, not much. I sent some blue to him as well, that also helped" he explains quietly. He looks around, as they are far away from the noises and oh, they are almost by their room.
Maedhros just looks more confused but doesn't ask another question until they're by the doors to their rooms.
"Do you-" Maedhros's voice wavers. He clears his throat and Elrond can feel him taking a deep breath. "Which-" the ellon clears his throat again as his voice goes raspy and low. "Which room is- yours?"
"Oh! We sleep in the one on the right" he titls his head towards what is his room, technically, but where he and Elros spent most time of the time and where they sleep. The fortress is cold and even though at home the twins slept separately (well, sometimes), they've been sharing the same bed since they started living here.
"Right" Maedhros clears his throat again and pushes the door to open it.
Most of the rooms in this part of the building don't have doorknobs and the doors push open easily. There's a hole in the door where the lock used to be before Maglor had it taken out after Elros had locked their door for a whole day after their first night here.
Maedhros stops at the treshhold and takes another deep breath. Elrond looks up at him, confused. They're almost in the room, surely the ellon wants to put them down? He tilts his head at the sight because Maedhros's eyes look… wet?
"What-"
"A moment" Maedhros says sharply, his breath slightly hitched again like it was earlier, and Elros tenses up again.
Elrond hums the same melody that always works on his brother and pushes blue again even though he's not completely sure about the safety right now. He hums louder because the white panic starts coming back and after a moment, Maedhros's breath stops hitching and he steps into the room and takes them straight towards the bed. The ellon makes a quiet, surprised noise before sitting down on the edge and supporting twins on his lap, his arm wrapped around Elrond's waist.
"Elros, we're in your room, do you want to get on the bed?" Maedhros asks in that soft voice from earlier again. "And Elrond, can you let go of my shoulder? I've got you now."
He lets go of the hand wrapped around Maedhros and gently pushes Elros towards the bed with the arm still clutched in his twin's grasp. Elros opens his eyes and looks blearily around, looks up at Maedhros and flings himself off his lap into bed, letting go of Elrond's arm as he crawls to the corner of the bed that's tucked between the walls and covers himself with the closest blanket, facing the wall.
"Right" Maedhros's eyebrow arches up and he helps Elrond onto the bed gently.
He crawls towards his brother and grabs another blanket and adds it on top of the first one, making sure it's tucked in well around his twin.
"Panic is so cold for him, I wish it was for white for him, like it is to me" he says quietly to Maedhros and scoots around to get under the fur they have on the bed and covers his twin with it as well. He tuckes Elros against his front to share his warmth and hums quietly.
"What-" Maedhros sounds confused again and then sighs, resigned. "He's cold?"
"Yes, the blankets will help and I'll help but he's feeling cold with panic" he explains patiently and glances at Maedhros.
Shouldn't the ellon know this? He has a brother, surely he should know? But Maedhros leaves to the adjoining room (Elros's, really) and comes back with another fur without saying anything more. He drapes the fur over Elrond and Elros quietly.
"I can send someone to sit here with you. Do you think Erestor would feel safe now?" Maedhros asks quietly, his voice still raspy and low.
Elrond tenses, shudders and looks back at Maedhros. "Don't go." he says just as the ellon is turning around.
"What?"
"Don't go, please" he knows his voice is quiet but he's starting to feel scared again. "I- Please?"
"Surely someone else-"
"Please, don't leave us alone."