Chapter Text
Peter sighed as he searched for his keys, feeling exhaustion deep in his bones. The case they were working on was a tough one, and cracking it was looking more bleak as the days went on.
Finally unlocking the door he internally cheered. He just wanted to go to bed, burry himself in the blankets and ignore his responsibilities for the night.
As he entered the house, mind set on the couch, the bed now being deemed much too far away, he heard not just one but two voices from the kitchen. He could feel his limbs relaxing despite himself, at the melodic laugh of his beautiful wife. But the second voice gave him pause.
It sounded deep, like a man’s voice but it didn’t sound like any of El’s relatives he could think of.
Suddenly on alert, Peter moved past the couch towards the kitchen. Despite El sounding fine, and happier than she has all week his treacherous mind supplied, his hand went to his hip as he approached.
After the Keller incident Peter will admit that he has been more protective of El, but who wouldn’t be. His wife was kidnapped by a sociopath, he had the right to be a little more on edge. While she had promised Peter that she is okay and a short walk to the shops without Sachimo or him is fine, he can’t let that gnawing feeling in his stomach go. What if she got hurt? What if he wasn’t there to protect her?
He’s really trying to let her get her independence back, and he’s honestly thrilled that she’s feeling better. But it’s so hard for him to step back, and he can only do so with great caution (and binoculars).
He just can’t stand the thought of her getting hurt again. Because of him.
Therefore as he turns the corner to the dining room, his hand is on his gun but not drawn just yet. He needs to control himself until he can assess the situation. She’s probably fine, he repeats in his head as he steps forwards.
But what he sees makes him pause.
There was a man there alright. He was massive, shoulders wide and clearly over 6’4 despite being slouched over the dining table. The man was on the other side of the table to El, however his arm was reaching halfway across, with his wife’s meeting it there.
El’s face held a content look as she happily spoke to the stranger about something, Peter’s not too sure, ears rushing with adrenaline.
The man across from her holds such a fond smile on his, startlingly young, face. He is listening intently to El’s every word, as if it’s water and he’s a parched man in the desert.
Peter has no idea what’s going on.
His shoes squeak as he takes a step forwards and El turns, finally noticing him.
She welcomes him home with her beautiful smile as always, but still holding the strange man’s hand over the table. Looking back over at the man he has gone stone faced, the previously youthful awing look completely gone replaced with a sharp frown and harrowing glare. His eyes are snapping back and forth between his face and hand, where it’s resting on his gun.
It took Peter aback. Who the hell was this guy to be looking at him like that in his own home?
El saw his look towards the stranger still holding her hand. Seriously what the hell.
“Oh Hon, this is Jason! He just stopped by for a chat.” Elizabeth said beaming back over at the man.
Oh.
This was Jason.
This was El’s son.
Peter had not met him yet, being told by El to just give him some time, he’s from Gotham hon, he’s not too trusting of cops.
Peter honestly didn’t know what to do now. He felt the stunned look on his face as he looked between them, and knew that it definitely wasn’t helping Jason’s poor impression of him. He just couldn’t help it.
When El had told Peter she had a son, he was admittedly very surprised. She had told him the whole story, how she had him young and couldn’t take care of him so put him up for adoption at age 2. How she had found out he had died when he was only 15. How he had turned up at her doorstep 3 months ago looking dazed and hopeful all in one.
It was a lot to take in but Peter was doing everything to be supportive. He was behind her in this 100%.
However.
Peter had always wanted kids. It was something that he had wanted since a young age. Despite the dangers of his career, particularly the stint with major crimes, he still clung to that dream. When he and El started trying a few years ago he was excited, but that quickly became dejection when they couldn’t get pregnant. When the doctor told him that it was him, he was the problem, he couldn’t ever physically have children, he was crushed.
So hearing that El had a son, one what was wanting to be in her life, Peter couldn’t help but feel hopeful.
Then El told him that Jason didn’t want to meet him. He tried to understand, and he did really, but deep down he was crushed. He didn’t dare let El know, she was so excited and he couldn’t ruin this for her, so he smiled and supported her as she had her coffee dates and dinners with her son. Jason. The man infront of him.
He’s not sure if El knew how much it killed him, knowing he was so close to his broken dream. But she was always more conservative in speaking about Jason to him, letting him ask first most of the time (which he always did because his wife loved to gush about her son).
He kind of made peace with possibly never meeting Jason. Well. As he said kind of. So he never really let himself picture what he would look like, knew it would hurt too much. But now looking at him, he knew he’d never have imagined this.
His chest was like a body builders in that tight red t-shirt, muscles straining out of the arm-holes. God he could choke someone way too easily with those. There was a black leather jacket thrown over the chair to this left that looks like it could swallow Peter whole. His hair was loosely curly and dark, like El’s, but with a shock of white at the front. It didn’t look dyed so it was probably genetic from his, Peter hates to even say it, dad. Simply put, not what he would have even imagined.
But god his face. That nose and bow in his lips, the way his eyebrows draw together as he glares at Peter like he’d killed his grandmother. The upturn to his eyes. That was all El. He could see her in him so clearly that his eyes almost feel wet.
“Honey?”
Peter snapped out of his analysing to look at his beautiful wife, who was frowning slightly. “Yeah?”
“Are you…” she started, pausing looking unsure, “Do you want to join us?”
She finished with a smile, clearly trying to ease the heavy tension in the room.
“Oh I-“ Peter started, trying to backpedal and not intrude on this clearly intimate moment.
“It’s fine I’ll leave” Jason interjected, with that deep, gruff voice of his, the tilt of an accent at the ends of his words. He knew he was from Gotham but that accent wasn’t really what he was expecting.
“Oh no sweetie it’s fine-“
“You don’t have to-“
El and Peter started, but Jason interjected quickly.
“No I’m goin’ it’s fine” He exclaimed standing up, and all but towing over Peter Jesus Christ, and grabbing his jacket before rounding the table on the opposite side to Peter. “Bye mom, love you” He gently mumbled as he kissed her cheek and gave her a small hug.
El quickly reciprocated, hugging his neck to bring him down and kiss his cheek. “Bye sweetie, message me when you get home.”
Jason looked like he did before Peter interrupted for a moment, smiling softly to his mother. And god he looked so much like her with that smile bringing out light dimples in his cheeks.
Peter felt like a stranger in his own home as they shared this intimate moment. He can feel his heart beating being so close to El’s son, and he wishes he could be in this. He wishes they could be like a family, but it’s obviously not that simple, it never is.
Jason then glances back up at Peter with a blank glare and gently moved past his mother to practically storm to the door.
As he walked past Peter held his breath, not wanting to anger him further and ruin any relationship they could have.
He distantly heard the door slam and couldn’t help the small flinch in his chest.
He looked to El with a remorseful look on his face “Sorry I interrupted Hon-“
She swiftly walked forwards and brought him into a hug. It’s exactly what he needed, after a long day and after… this. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, like Jason, as she pulled away and cupped his face.
“I’m sorry about that Hon, I knew he didn’t want to meet you yet but I’d didn’t know he’d be so…” El trailed off with a hesitant look on her face. She had never seen Jason like this, sure he got a little annoyed at the mention of Peter, and almost flinched when she told him he was FBI. But she didn’t expect the pure anger on his face.
“No it was my fault” Her far too patient husband cut in “I should have left when I saw you two. I didn’t mean to push him.” Peter tried to assure, holding her waist tightly (maybe too tightly but he hopes she doesn’t notice).
El frowned, with that all too knowing look on her face. She sighed and brought Peter into a gentle kiss before breaking it and looking into his eyes meaningfully.
“You don’t have to pretend to be okay for me Hon, we’re in this together” Of course she noticed, she always did. Damn he really loved her.
He sighed and rested their foreheads together. “I know how well it’s going between you two, I don’t want to be the reason it’s.. not.” He breathes gently, feeling his eyes stinging.
El pulled him as close as she could practically whispering, “we’re in this together” She repeats stubbornly. “He’ll warm up to you, I just know it”
And that smug smile on her face makes Peter swoon all over again, “you’re ridiculously charming”
He can’t help but laugh, feeling anything but right now. He needs to pull himself together, needs to be her support but…
They remain in the dining room for another hour that night, simply talking. It was everything they needed, and as they cuddled close in bed that night Peter felt lighter than he had in months.
——
As Peter opened his eyes that morning he instantly wanted to go back to sleep, but El had made him breakfast and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t eat it.
As he comes downstairs and greets his wife, he notices a flannel shirt on the chair Jason was sitting on last night. He had missed that completely before, way too distracted by actually seeing Jason himself.
“Oh Jase left it here last night, he’s going to come and pick it up later” El informed him as she saw where his eyes were. She smiled as she set the plates on the table so they could sit opposite each other, looking to her husband almost wearily.
Last night was rough. Peter and Jason actually being in the same room was everything she’d wanted since he showed up at their door, but it definitely did not go well.
She tried to put on a brave face for her son, and Peter, but it crushed her. Hopefully Jason will warm up to Peter, he has to. She’ll do everything she can to make it happen. She loves them both so much that them not being on good terms hurts too much.
Her and Peter had finally really talked about Jason. She knew her husband was struggling with it, but didn’t want to rush him before he wanted to come to her.
This was all a lot for her as well. I mean she thought Jason was dead and he shows up years later, out of the blue. She’d been so overwhelmed and Peter had been her rock these past few months, but she wanted him to know she was there for him too.
El is brought back to the present as Peter kisses her temple, wishing her a good day before leaving with a final ‘don’t forget the dry cleaning hon!’ before going off to work.
She feels the smile on her face as she washes up the dishes, yeah it’ll all work out eventually. She just had to keep reassuring herself.
A few hours later she’d already returned from work. With no current clients she’d come home to work on the website promotions they’d been looking at. It’s always nicer to work at her own dinning table than her lumpy office chair. Plus she can snuggle with Sachmo on the couch when she was done. Or before.
As she sits down to begin working she notices Jason’s black flannel again. He should becoming later to collect it. He’d messaged her last night saying he’d gotten home and that he’ll come get it, asking when Peter would be home.
She knew it was way too soon for them to meet, and Jase wasn’t ready, but she can’t say it doesn’t hurt to hear he’s clearly trying to avoid him.
He said he would be around at 4:30, deeming it a safe enough time away from Peter’s arrival at 6. She was planning on making him some cookies as a peace offering.
God it was feeling like they were going backwards again. All Elizabeth wanted was for her son to know she loved him, but did it have to be so hard?
A sharp knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and she noticed she was hugging the flannel to her chest. Damn pull yourself together, she told herself as she placed it over the chair and went to answer the door.
“Sachmo be quiet, it’s not for you-“ she cut herself off as the door opened to reveal her son, 3 hours early. “Oh Jason! Come in come in!” She said ushering him inside moving out of the way as he pulled his leather jacket off.
“Sachmo I know I know I saw you yesterday” He laughed bending down to pet the excited dog padding around his feet. His gentle smile was so adorable El felt herself smiling too at the sight.
“Sorry I’m like, really early” Jason started looking up to El from his crouch to give Sachmo the attention he wants “I was walkin’ to the store and swore I saw you walkin’ home ‘cross the road so…”
“Oh it’s fine!” She was quick to reassure him, not wanting her son to feel bad “I decided to work from home the rest of the day”
He stood back to his full hight, way too tall in comparison to the little toddler she remembers, and smiles slightly, “Did you have lunch? We can go to the um bagel place round the corner? Or um…” He trailed off looking unsure.
This is the Jason she knew. Soft and gentle and hesitant to breech her boundaries, and couldn’t help but beam at him.
“I’d love to!” She grinned, happy to see his smile widening too, albeit more awkwardly, “we can bring Sach!”
Jason let out a light laugh “Yeah! You wanna come with us Sach? Awww you’re such a baby” Her gorgeous son pouted as he scratched the dog’s ears, who was nosing at his leg.
She let her gaze wander to his arms as he stroked Sachmo’s fur. She can’t help but wince at the pale scars adorning his skin. They’d already had this conversation and she shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s not her fault, but…. She suddenly remembered the reason he was here in the first place, his flannel!
She whipped around to retrieve it, bringing it to him and offering it with a light smile, “Here sweetie, and make sure you don’t forget it, you need the layers in this weather” She scolded him gently, keeping the kind smile on her face.
His eyebrows rose as he remembered about it too and took the garment, swiftly putting it on before topping it off with his leather jacket, still in his left hand. He lightly snarked “Of course mom” in response with a small roll of the eyes.
Elizabeth can feel her heart beating faster, reminded once again that this was her kid, her Jason, and almost couldn’t stop the hug then and there. But she held back, she didn’t want to go backwards in their relationship, she was already beyond relieved that Jason was even back in her house after last night, so she respected the distance between them and put on her long coat.
“Come on Sach let’s go get some food” She said to the dog, letting her voice pitch up to baby the little (massive) puppy.
Jase let out a small breathy laugh as the dog pounded over to her to put the leash on his collar, and walked over to the pair.
“Would I be able to walk him?” He asked, way too politely for her liking, his words missing much of the Gotham edge they usually hold. She sighed internally, thinking they were over this phase already. She loved his accent, it reminded her of home, and it hurt that he felt he needed to tone it down around her to make her more comfortable. But she didn’t say anything, she could only work to make him more comfortable again.
“Of course baby! He loves you to walk him” El assured, handing over the leash and opening the door to allow them through.
Before closing and locking the door she checked she had the switchblade Peter had given her. He’d been hesitant to hand it off initially, but he needed to know she was safe and could defend herself. She’d never used it, and knows that she wouldn’t have to with Jason around, but she had to check.
As she descended the steps she saw Jason looking at her intently, more blank than she’d ever seen him, apart from last night. However the relaxation came back to his face as she came up beside him. He wasn’t as at ease as before, but seemed to be better with her by his side.
“Did the fed give you that?” He asked her as they were walking, eyes focussed ahead of him.
He hadn’t called Peter that in a while, so it hurt to see the clear regression. “Yeah, he wanted to make sure I was safe when he wasn’t around”
He narrowed his eyes as he looked ahead, glancing at Sachmo as he moved to stiff the grass they were passing.
She knew he didn’t like the answer but also didn’t hate it. It was a good thing Peter wanted her to be safe, something Jason and him had in common it seemed.
“Sorry about last night I thought he’d stay at his coworkers-“ she started to apologise, hoping Jason wasn’t back to going silent at the thought of her husband.
“It’s fine”
His voice cut through her spiralling, sounding anything but fine. “I’m glad he loves you and all that but, mom, don’t let him take control of you”
He looks at her as he says it, making eye contact to try and persuade her to understand his perspective.
And she did, she knew where he was coming from but they’d got past this before, and despite the hiccup yesterday it seemed he wasn’t too pissed at Peter when he’d gotten to the house earlier.
“He isn’t sweetie, really, you know I’d beat his ass if I had to” she reassures him with a smirk, easily allowing her Gotham born attitude to sneak in.
That got a smile out of him. A small one, but it was a genuine smile so she’d take it.
“Yeah… I know” He replied seemly content with her answer, and looked back down to Sachmo as he tried to pull ahead to chase the squirrel passing on the path. “Stupid, you’re tied to me you can’t get it” He murmured under his breath in fond exasperation.
El smiled as she watched them, it was clear that Jase hadn’t gone too far back in the Peter situation despite her fears. It was going to be hard getting him and Peter to coincide but… it will happen. The stubborn Gothamite in her is sure of it. They were making progress.
——
Going into work for Peter was hard. He had honestly forgotten about the soul-crushing case he’d left the night before, but as he went through the doors it all came crushing back.
God he really didn’t need this today. He was already in his head about last night, and with El’s silence at breakfast he was worried that things would get worse for her and Jason. She’d worked really hard for Jason to open up but it was a constant effort, as El had said. She’d never spoken too much about the reasons behind his reservations, and he’s not sure she knows them all. But it was getting better and Peter will be devastated if he’d ruined their progress.
He was greeted with his CI walking up to him, a clear frown on his face. Well that brought him back to the present. That look did not belong on Neal’s face damn it, this case is slowly taking the life from all of them.
“Peter! Thank god I’ve been here for one minute and the probies are already going batshit crazy!” He whined in his face, acting about half his age, as per usual.
Diana smoothly cut in, appearing next to Neal, “They’re agents to you, Caffrey” she snarked, smirking to the look Neal threw her. “Hey Boss why did I have to spend my morning carting this imbecile into the office again?”
Neal’s affronted ‘hey!’ was drowned out by Peter’s suffering sigh. Yep he had a headache and he’d been here less than 5 minuites. New record.
“Something happened with El last night, don’t worry about it, thanks Diana I owe you one” he replied, already trying to move past the pair to go to get himself some coffee. Well, what this damned office calls coffee anyway.
“Oh are you and El fighting? Honestly Peter what did you do now?” Neal interjected like the worm he is following him to the kitchen area.
“Oh Peter morning, did I hear you and El are fighting?” Jones greeted from the kitchen as he was already pouring himself some of the caffeinated slew.
Peter let out a long suffering sigh, knowing it was going to be a long day. “No we’re not fighting and no it’s none of your business.” He aimed the last part at his CI, who was flashing his best innocent look. Unluckily for him that look landed him in prison so it clearly didn’t work on Peter.
“Is it the step-son?” Diana asked as she stepped up to cupboard to retrieve a mug.
She was way too good at her job. The boss in him wanted to praise her but the exhausted man in him wanted for her to just shut up.
“Ohhhhh step-son troubles?” Neal swiftly joined the bandwagon to cause Peter’s suffering.
“Ah the mysterious step-son, what happened now?” Jones added, joining his other musketeers easily.
Diana let out a small laugh at the forlorn look on his face as he filled up his mug and chugged half of it down in one go. “We’ll take that as a yes.”
Peter admitted defeat easily, readily informing them of what happened last night- minus the crying he and El did, that’s their business.
Jones whistled as he finished, a pitying look on his face, “Damn he does not want you in the picture at all.”
“Nope.” He responded with defeat “I just wish it didn’t hurt so much you know? Like he’s El’s son and he hates me”
“I don’t think he hates you Peter. I think he’s just as overwhelmed as you are, I mean if I’d thought my mom was dead and realised she was alive I’d be pretty out of it. Let alone meeting her and having to face her husband, who isn’t his father.” Neal responded, with a shockingly real expression on his face, and well actually talking a lot of sense.
“Damn Caffrey, when did you get so insightful” Diana asked lightly, a tease on the edge of her words, letting the insult fall flat so that she wouldn’t distract from the situation. She knew this was a big deal for Peter, and that it was hard for him to talk about. And surprisingly she agreed with Neal’s words, first time for everything.
“Yeah… thanks Neal, I mean I knew that but I wasn’t really thinking about it like that” Peter felt like a dick. Like yes this must be so exponentially difficult for El and Jason, but he wasn’t actually putting it into words to- what? Let him feel sorry for himself? He just wishes they could all speak about this, like he and El did last night, but he knows she doesn’t want to push Jason too far. This is so hard for him too, as Neal said.
“Sorry to interrupt but we have some movement in the account.” An agent interjected urgently, swiftly breaking their little mock therapy session.
“Damn that was fast”
They all followed Agent Johnson quickly to the others, who were huddled around a computer, frantically pulling up a trace.
Yeah he’d have to think about this later, now was definitely not the time.
——
It took three days to track down this guy.
He was way too slippery, way too much like Neal for Peter’s liking, but they did it.
And after a much too long shift Peter is driving Neal home at 23:16. This was far too late for his CI as he mumbled something about his shit taste in music, messing with the radio, Half asleep already.
The sudden ringing of Peter’s phone had him swerving the car, only slightly he swears, causing Neal to snap up and yell about focusing on the road. He straightens in the lane with his heart pounding, adrenaline serving about 6 cups of coffee into his system. He is wide awake now that’s for sure.
Neal grumbles to his right answering Peter’s phone and all but throwing it onto the dashboard.
“Hon are you coming home anytime soon?” His amazing, beautiful, angelic wife’s voice asks. Her voice is honestly all he needs after a day like this (and that near death experience but he won’t be telling her about that). She sounds so tired, probably waiting up for him to get home.
“Yes I’m going to be there soon Hon, just dropping Neal off.” He replies, followed by a small ‘Hi El’ from Neal.
“Hey Neal sweetie, are you both alright?” El replies with light worry.
“Yeah we got him” Peter replies proudly, the case from Hell finally over. Well, hopefully. If a follow up or a connected case pops up he’s going to commit a Neal (run).
“That’s great! Can I have my husband back from the bad guys now?” She replied with humour in her sleepy voice.
“Don’t celebrate too early El I’m pretty sure Peter is going to sleep for a week straight after this.” Neal cuts in cheekily, smirking lazily over at Peter.
“Ah well he’s deserved it.” El replied, a smile clear in her voice. “Do you want to stay at Neal’s tonight Hon? It’s much better than coming all the way here after dropping him off.”
Peter sighs in response, for the umpteenth time this week, looking over at Neal “if that’s okay with his highness”
Neal rolls his eyes at him “of course, there’s always room on the couch for my favourite suit” he smirks.
“Urg you sound like Mozzie” is all Peter can reply, already feeling the fatigue seeping back into his bones, earlier scare forgotten at the prospect of sleep in a mere few minutes.
“Sleep well Hon. I’ll see you in the morning.”El replies cutting through his thoughts.
“Goodnight Hon.”
Neal hangs up the phone after that stating that they’ll only go back and forth like teenagers.
“We weren’t going to do that” Peter replies, exasperation clear in his voice. He cut off the rest of his response to the thorn in his side as they pull down Neals street.
He almost has to drag Neal up the stairs but when they’re inside at 23:39, he can feel his eyes getting heavy.
Neal lazily strips his suit off, not a single care that Peter is stood right there, and flops easily into bed, asleep practically as soon as he hits the pillow.
It strikes him at how young his CI looks in that moment, face squished against the pillow, and he can’t help but think back to Jason.
He’d been okay with El the past few days, them going out for lunch every day like before, and Peter was so glad. He’d been afraid that he had screwed it all up for El and it was gnawing at him.
Despite the heavy case he hadn’t stopped thinking about Jason. His strong look, El’s beautiful features all over his face, how Sachmo apparently liked him more than anyone else.
He felt like his son. But he wasn’t. He may never be his son.
Peter couldn’t let his emotions cloud his judgement. He knew that Jason didn’t like him, and that even seeing him caused such a strong reaction. He couldn’t let himself hope. It was too dangerous.
Looking down at Neal now he can almost see Jason here. It surprises him how old but young Jason looks, he has the body of a 25 year old body builder but his face easily gives him away. He’s only 19, despite what you may think if you couldn’t see those eyes, that hair, those cheeks. God Peter needed to go to sleep he was getting paternal. Something he couldn’t do. Ever.
He should be happy to get some rest after such a harrowing case. But as he looks at the ceiling of Neal’s apartment, he only feels dejected. His thoughts from before rushing through his mind.
He’d thought that knowing he’d never have a son, would be the hardest thing imaginable, but now…. Knowing that there is someone who could be his son but doesn’t want to… that’s the worst feeling ever.