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1.
It’s a random day in November and the Ottawa Centaurs are at practice. Ilya as usual is getting the boys to do some insane drills that barely seem relevant to the sport of hockey. Currently, he’s getting them all to race on the ice while their hands are tied behind their backs.
“Young, Barrett, what even was that? Too slow, do it again!” Ilya yells from the side.
“What? C’mon cap, I finally beat him this time!”
“Yeah cap, let it count. Young needs the win.” Hayes chirps as Bood helps to untie his hands.
“Is not a win for anybody. You are all slow, except for my Shanyshka. Be more like him!”
“That’s not fair though. Shane’s like a machine, how is any of us expected to perform like him?” Haas whines exasperatedly. He then turns slightly to hide his expression from Ilya before he winks at Bood and Hayes. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
Shane is currently tying his hands behind his back, but Haas is not looking forward to racing against Dykstra. He’s convinced he’ll lose balance and fall on his face. But he's been around his captain long enough to know which buttons to press for the right outcome.
“Da, yes you are correct Haasy. Shane is perfect species…?”
“Specimen.” Shane corrects without looking up.
“Perfect specimen.” Ilya says pointing at Shane “We will end practice early today. Is not fair to compare you to such an angel. He is more fast than any of you will ever be. And very strong. And his balance is good from all that yoga he does…in his slutty little shorts… looking so sexy for-”
“JAR!” A chorus of yells come from all directions as the team talks over each other, begging Ilya to stop his train of thought. Shane carefully undoes the knot he made around Haas’ wrists and keeps his gaze down to hide his embarrassment.
“What? I didn’t even touch him, is not fair.”
Hayes motions to Haas who is now sitting on the ice in a foetal position, rocking back and forth. “Anything that traumatizes your son this bad is worthy of the PDA jar, Ilya. Even if it’s just words.”
“Ugh okay whatever. Is always worth it when I get to love my котенок out loud.”
2.
On the team plane, Ilya is asking Bood about his plans for his day off with the family. His response gets tuned out though when Shane walks down the aisle. Ilya keeps his gaze on his husband like a predator as Shane takes a seat next to Hayes right across the aisle.
“Shane what the heck? I saved your seat right here.” He pats the spot designated for him, completely unaware to the expression on Bood’s face as he realizes he’s been ignored. “Do you need to start wearing glasses more? I think you can still see that blurry Hayes looks nothing like me.”
“No Ilya, I can see just fine. I sat here on purpose.” Shane says without any other explanation, and pulls out his earbuds in preparation for the ride.
“You hate me?”
“Of course I don’t hate you. I just think it’ll be good to sit with other people sometimes.”
Ilya doesn’t say anything right away. He crosses his arms over his chest and angles his body towards the window. The huff he lets out punctuates the pout on his lips. “But I don’t want to cuddle Bood.”
“I second that!” Bood chimes in which gets a few chuckles from the people sitting nearby.
“Oh c’mon Ilya. We’re literally going home where we can cuddle as much as you want. You’ll survive.”
“No it is not true. I need cuddles now, in front of everybody.” Ilya slightly turns back so that he can watch Shane from his peripheral vision.
“That’s literally what got us in trouble last time! PDA is unprofessional.”
Now Ilya fully turns his body back to the aisle and exercises all his facial muscles to make him look as heartbroken and sad as possible. “You want to be professional with me? You don’t love me anymore? Is this start of divorce?”
“Oh my god, Ilya. Now I really do hate you.” Shane says as he gets up and takes his rightful place next to his husband.
In no time, Ilya stretches his arms around Shane and nuzzles right into his neck, as though he could possibly get any closer to the man.
“You know you guys are gonna have to pay up for this right?” Hayes clarifies as he laughs at the situation.
“Eh is okay. Cannot put price tag on getting to hold my душа.”
3.
Ottawa just won their game against Minnesota and as usual there's an army of journalists hounding Shane in the hallway with questions. While yes, normally this is quite annoying, today Shane is in such a good mood that he doesn't even feel impatient answering the same old questions.
"Shane, how do you respond to the claims that you are not a team player, only putting in effort when your husband Ilya Rozanov is on the ice with you?"
"I'd say to watch the actual game. Neither my goal, nor my assist with Barrett happened while sharing the ice with Rozanov. Next question."
There were some light chuckles before the next person spoke.
"Would you say you actually have better chemistry with someone like Barrett than-"
"Ah, ah, ah, do not finish that sentence." Ilya waltzes over pushing through the crowd until he's right next to Shane. He's changed and ready to go, with his and Shane's bags in his hands. "Our chemistry is electric. Better than anyone else."
The journalist opens her mouth to add a rebuttal but Ilya keeps talking. "So sorry my friends, I need my husband now. We have big plans for tonight!"
At that, everyone starts laughing and Ilya notices the smile on Shane's face. A few people attempt to ask more questions but one recognizable voice cuts through the rest.
"That's nasty Ilya, go pay the jar before you leave." Dykstra shouts from the outskirts of the crowd.
"No, but you misunderstand me." Ilya ever the comedian pretends to whisper a secret to the crowd of journalists "English is not my first language, and see, he is so mean to me." Then he directs his attention back to Dykstra to defend himself "I just mean that we have plans to cook dinner together. Will be very romantic, right Shane?"
Shane feeling slightly awkward with the topic being discussed so openly, just nods his head and offers his hand. Ilya gladly rearranges both bags into his left hand so that he can hold Shane and drag him away.
They walk hand in hand like this down the hallway, while the journalist mob watches them in hopes of one last clip. And Ilya being the kind man that he is, gives them just that.
Almost at the end of the hallway, he turns and yells "Oh yeah, I almost forget about that other thing we have planned!"
He spanks Shane's left cheek and they turn the corner both chuckling to themselves. A distant "JAR" can be heard but he doesn't care about that. This was so worth it.
4.
By the time Ilya and Shane arrive to the locker room for practice, most of the others are already getting changed and ready. Usually Shane likes to show up early and take a breather before the room gets crowded, but this morning he got a little delayed because of Ilya. Specifically, because of the way the sunlight was making his husbands golden curls glow.
He just couldn't resist the urge to reach out and play with his hair. And hold him close. And do other things.
Although they aren't actually late for practice, he does feel a little rushed, so Shane goes straight to his cubby and ruffles through his things. Ilya on the other hand is very relaxed walking as though he's on a cloud of happiness and starts to undress.
While both men are pretty much in their own worlds, they do become aware of the sudden silence that fills the room. They share a quick look before the reason for the change in atmosphere gets revealed.
"Um, Ilya? Did you guys adopt a stray cat and forget to tells us or something?" Haas asks innocently.
At that, Shane puts his head down and goes back to his routine, not caring about whatever nonsense conversation they were all having.
"Stray cat? What are you talking about?" Ilya asks before immediately glancing at his back and answering his own question "Da, yes you are correct. I found a very cute котенок and decided that he will be mine."
A chorus of questions from the guys erupt in the room.
"Those are some serious battle scars cap."
"Where did you even find it?"
"Are you gonna get rabies now?"
"When can I meet him? Or her? Them?"
"How big is that cat? Like damn."
Ilya answers some and ignores others, mostly based on how entertaining he finds it. But he needs his husbands help for that last question so he taps Shane on the shoulder.
"How tall are you?"
"Five ten." Shane responds easily, having no idea why Ilya would need to know that right now. He hadn't really caught the last few minutes of chatter, but also doesn't Ilya already know his height?
Ilya, with a shit eating grin directs his attention back to the room and proudly announces "My котенок is 5'10". Very big and feisty, yes? Any other questions?"
He then plants a big, wet smooch on Shane's cheek and starts flexing his back to show off all the scratch marks left from his lover this morning.
Shane finally realizes what was happening around him this whole time and shoves Ilya away playfully, pretending not to be as embarrassed as he is. But Ilya can tell based on the red creeping up Shane's face.
Bood's booming voice can be heard over all the groans and snickers as he yells a succinct "JAR!"
"For the last time, I don't care. Was worth being late to practice, and is still worth paying stupid love jar."
+1
The team is out at a club in Vegas tonight, celebrating a huge 5-1 win. While it's not unusual for the team to party together like this, it is rare to find Shane drinking vodka.
"I thought you don't drink, Hollander?" Barrett asks with his arms wrapped around Harris' shoulders from behind.
"I don't. Not unless I have an incentive." Shane smirks at Ilya who is swaying to the music beside him. They seem to have a silent exchange, clearly thinking about whatever that incentive is.
The response catches both Barrett and his boyfriend off guard. Usually Ilya is the one to make jokes and references to their sex lives, but clearly the alcohol is having an effect on Shane.
"Oh don't look so surprised, my husband is a cool party animal when he wants to be." Ilya still swaying lightly from beside him, reaches for Shane's hand. He doesn't give any more attention to his friends and drags his man off the dance floor.
They find a seat with Bood, Dykstra, and Hayes who are currently arguing over who would win in a fight between Spider-Man and Batman. Ilya sits down first and guides Shane onto his lap, who uncharacteristically goes without fuss.
"No shot, Batman is way smarter and has all the tech to crush Spider-Man like the bug he is." Bood argues even though he is clearly wrong.
Hayes is trying to defend Spider-Man when he realizes that Shane is currently making out with their captain right there at their table.
"Um, guys? We're sitting right here."
"Oh, hi." The couple finally breaks apart, neither having enough decency to even blush.
"Need I remind you that under section 16 of the Jar agreement, excessive PDA in non-work related spaces, with 3 or more teammates present will be subject to fines?" Bood says, reading the rules out from memory.
"Ugh, fine whatever!" Shane reaches into his pocket for his wallet and a pen. He starts scribbling something down before sliding a check onto the table. "Here's an advance, now shut up."
Without wasting another second, Shane goes right back down to business sucking Ilya's face off.
"Wow, okay."
"I'm still not used to drunk Shane."
"Maybe we should just... yeah let's go."
The three men awkwardly shuffle away, but not before Dykstra secures the check into his pocket. It's a lot of zeros after all.
"Are they gone now?" It's Shane who breaks away first clearly out of breath, as he leans into Ilya's neck. "God that was so embarrassing. I almost wish I was drunk."
"If you want real vodka, I can get for you. But no, I think you like pretending to be drunk while you sip on ginger ale. Is more fun that way, yes?"
"Maybe. But I still don't understand your obsession with all this PDA stuff."
Ilya grabs Shane's face with both hands and brings their foreheads together. Staring into the most beautiful brown eyes he says "Моя любовь, how can I ever explain to you the shame I was taught to feel for loving a man? Like there is something disgusting, and evil inside of me."
"Oh, Ilya..."
"No, no, I know is not true. Is okay now. But," his thumb starts gently stroking Shane's cheek "we don't need to hide this anymore. Is like a 'Fuck You' to anybody who thinks like that. They can say whatever they want, but I'll still wake up everyday next to my солнышко. And I will never again feel shame."
"я люблю тебя "
"Я люблю тебя всем своим большим и неуклюжим сердцем."
"Take me home, Ilya."