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They crept silently through the empty streets, hand in hand. Cersei was leading the way. She always led, both because she felt safe knowing where she went her twin would follow and because she was better with directions. She wished she could follow him sometimes, though, especially now. Cersei would have given all the gold in Casterly Rock to join him when he left for Crakehall in just three days. Jaime knew it, too. That’s why he holds my hand so tightly, she thought.
It seemed an eternity since they had last stayed in Lannisport overnight, but she found her way to their secret stretch of beach with ease. Though it was much the same as they left it, Cersei was struck by its beauty. It was like she was truly seeing it for the first time. Or the last… She shook the thought away and forced her attention to the present moment. The waves seemed not to crash into the shore but purr. The sky was so clear and full of stars she was tempted to reach out and grab one… but she couldn’t. Cersei could no more steal a star than she could keep her brother from leaving her.
“Race you to the water!” shouted Jaime as he ran toward the gentle waves.
Cersei didn’t chase after him, she simply called him a cheater and plopped into the sand to remove her shoes and stockings. If Jaime wore stockings I would have won.
He was already in the water by the time she joined him. He had the grace not to boast of his stolen victory, but his pleasure was plain on his face. She wanted to be annoyed but his beauty at that moment made it impossible. Cersei smiled softly and, as was his custom, Jaime pulled her in. With his arms tightly around her waist, he spun them in circles laughing all the while. Water flew around them as Cersei’s toes brushed against the surface. She squealed and giggled despite herself, it wasn’t often that she felt so free. One could become drunk on freedom, she thought.
Jaime was breathless before long and the world stopped spinning… but he toppled over. With a soft thud and a splash, Cersei fell atop her twin, soaking her dress. She groaned loudly as she climbed off of him. “You are out of practice, brother.” She offered him her hand. “You never fall.”
“Perhaps I did it on purpose, so you would take off your dress.” When he took her hand she half thought he meant to pull her back in. She half hoped he would… Squeeze her and never let go—never go to Crakehall—just stay with her forever. The two of them, enveloped by the sea.
She wrinkled her nose as he stood. “But you didn’t, you’re a terrible planner. You just fell.” Jaime tried to speak, but Cersei had another thought. “Besides, I can’t wander down the beach in a tunic and smallclothes like some peasant .”
“You’ve done it at Casterly Rock.”
“This isn’t Casterly Rock.”
“Craven.”
“Idiot.”
“Coward.”
“You already called me that.”
“No, I—”
“Jaime, go.”
He dutifully obeyed. I hope he finds good ones this time.
As Cersei was wringing out her skirts, images of her father writhing in her grip flooded her mind. Try as she might, she could not shake the thoughts away. She couldn’t even replace Tywin’s face with Tyrion’s. Cersei almost felt frightened. Perhaps taking this dress off isn’t such a foolish idea… So she did just that.
Jaime returned then, holding two long branches.
“Are you ready?” He asked, throwing the stick to her before she could answer. It fell in the sand. “One day, you’ll catch it.”
“I would have caught it this time if I had some warning,” insisted Cersei.
“Oh? Consider this your warning.” Jaime tossed the other branch to her. This time she caught it.
“See how foolish it is to doubt me, dear brother?”
“I could never doubt you, sweet sister.” Jaime smiled proudly at her and spoke with a gentle laugh. “But if you catch a real sword that way you will lose some of your pretty fingers.”
“Oh…” She hadn’t noticed she was holding it right in the middle. “Shut up!”
Jaime laughed at that. “Do you remember your stance?”
“Of course I do,” she answered irritably, getting into the position he taught her, holding her would-be sword in her right hand.
“Good. Dance with me.”
Her brother moved so quickly, so skillfully, so beautifully. He put on a good show, but she knew he was holding back. So she hit him harder. Hacking, slashing, thrusting with all the strength she could muster, but it wasn't enough. Cersei gripped the branch with both hands then, that made her feel stronger. Strike and step, step and strike, faster… faster…
Not fast enough.
Jaime took a step back and she tumbled into the sand.
She swatted away his hand with her stick, she didn’t need his help. She needed him to take this seriously. To take her seriously. No one ever had and he was her only hope.
When she was standing once more she immediately struck him again. And again. Over and over until her arms ached and legs burned. He was barely trying.
Jaime took a step back, allowing her a moment to breathe. He looked so proud of her. Is it pride or amusement? She shook her head fiercely, trying to drive the thought away. Jaime laughed at her gesture. “Hair in your eyes?”
“No! I mean, yes, and it’s such a pity. I was enjoying watching you insult your own skills by fighting me like I was just some girl.” There was a bite to her words.
“You are a girl.”
“I know that.” Her cheeks flushed, whether it was from embarrassment or anger she didn’t rightly know. “Jaime, how am I supposed to learn if you don’t try?”
With a sigh and a smile, Jaime got back into position.
The fight was over before it began. She had barely raised her arms when he delivered a blow that snapped her branch in two and sent it flying from her hands. It hurt a bit.
Well, that is that. Cersei thought, brushing away the sand and little pieces of bark that clung to her hands. Her eyes lingered for a moment on the broken branch where it lay several feet away. It should have been stronger.
“Well fought, sister,” said Jaime, the softness of his voice as gentle as the waves.
She said nothing to that, she simply took his empty hand and let him lead her away.
“You almost had me, you know,” noted Jaime.
Cersei scoffed, but remained silent.
Jaime grinned. “A few hours more and I may have grown tired.”
She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the corners of her lips twitching upward.
“Come,” he prompted, leading them toward the rocks that rose along the curve of the beach. “Let’s climb up to the stars.”
“In the dark?”
“Unless you’re afraid.”
“I am not afraid of anything,” she lied.
“Good,” Jaime said, releasing her hand and beginning to climb.
She hesitated for only a moment before following his steps. The rocks were warm and rough under her bare feet. Slightly slick with water. Her twin climbed ahead with ease, occasionally offering his hand whenever the stones grew too steep. Cersei did not need his help, but she took his hand every time.
It was quiet between them for a while. The only sound was the waves hitting the rocks and the wind fluttering against their damp clothing. Looking at his golden hair, shining in the moonlight, she wondered if his thoughts were as tangled as hers.
When Jaime suddenly stopped.
“Cersei, look!” She thought he was pointing to the moon, but then she saw it.
She had never seen a shooting star before. She had seen them on sigils and in paintings, but this was different. This was real. Before she could decide whether the sight filled her with delight or dread, a second star flew across the sky. Cersei’s breath caught in her throat and she couldn’t help but smile. Jaime had never seen a shooting star before, either. He would have told her if he had. The knowledge that this was another in a long line of first-time experiences they’d shared made her feel less afraid.
She stumbled as she stepped onto the next rock, but Jaime caught her arm and steadied her. Gods, she was going to miss him. “Careful now,” her brother said with a toothy grin, “the stars were beautiful, but not worth dying over.”
Cersei rolled her eyes. “Why do you think they do that?”
“Do what?”
“Fall.”
Jaime stopped and considered that for a moment. “They are the tears of the gods.”
Cersei couldn’t say why, but his answer made her angry. “According to whom?”
“According to The Seven-Pointed Star.”
“You’ve not read The Seven-Pointed Star.”
“No, but our septon has and that is what he said of shooting stars.”
“Oh,” Cersei conceded. “But why should the gods weep?”
“Perhaps they weep for you as you weep for me.”
She felt her anger swell once more. “Don’t be stupid. They care little for me.” And Father cares even less.
Her brother remained unfazed. “The gods are the stupid ones if that’s true.”
“Jaime!”
“What? Anyone who doesn’t care for you is a fool. Worse than that, they deserve to die.” He jumped up to a higher rock and roared, pointing his stick sword toward the heavens, “I condemn all who displease Cersei of House Lannister to die by my sword and burn—” Jaime had to speak louder to overpower Cersei’s laughter. “To burn in the Seven Hells!” He finally looked back at her, smiling so beautifully. He spoke softly now, “Would you like me to kill the gods for you, sweet sister? My sword is yours to command.”
“Is it truly?”
“Of course.”
“Forever?”
He nodded.
“Do you swear it, Jaime?”
And just like that her brother fell to one knee, resting his would-be sword in both hands before him. “I, Jaime of House Lannister, vow to keep you safe. I shall guard both your body and soul. As long as we draw breath, my sword is yours. My life is yours. No harm will ever come to you. This I swear.”
Her smile faded.
Cersei felt so tired. She didn’t want to play anymore. How could he ever hope of protecting her when he was to be so far away? When had he ever protected her? Where was he when she walked into that tent? Where was he when Melara… No, she thought. No, that never happened.
She continued her climb, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as she passed. Walking and climbing, climbing and walking until she could go no further. Soon, Jaime was beside her, his hand folding into hers without a word.
Timidly, Cersei asked, “Will you write to me?”
“You said my writing was no better than an infant's,” her twin teased with a chuckle.
“Please write. I will be so… it will be so lonely without you.”
When he squeezed her hand, she knew he would try. That would have to be enough.
Cersei closed her eyes for a moment. Breathing in the sea air, trying to memorise the feeling of the spray on her skin, Jaime’s hand in hers. Nothing in life was fair. That lesson had been taught to her again and again. She was motherless, friendless, and soon to be brotherless. Not hopeless, though. If life was intent on cheating her at every conceivable turn, she would cheat it back. If she wanted happiness, she would steal it, just as she had tonight.
Jaime took a breath, but a voice came from behind them. “Oy, what do y’think you’re doing out here?”
They turned in sync and saw him. One of their father’s men, panting slightly and holding Cersei’s dress.
Then the only word echoing through her head fell from her twin’s lips, “Fuck.”