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“You can't add that to soup!”
“Well if your such an expert why don't you do it yourself!”
In the Clubhouse, next to a large bubbling cauldron, Astrid holds the dripping spoon threateningly towards Hiccup like a sword. It is Astrid's turn to make dinner this evening – need I say more? A questionable aroma pervades the large room, no doubt due to whatever Astrid just put in the soup. Either to save themselves from the odd smell or from possibly being forced to eat it, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut have all left for their huts. “I'm all for horrid stenches, but I think I prefer it when I make them,” was Ruffnuts parting shot. Snotlout stayed though, if only to see Astrid shout at Hiccup.
“I'm not saying I'm an expert.” Hiccup says calmly, trying to placate the angry shield maiden. “But-“
“Well, you said that almost anything can be made into a soup!”
Snotlout smirks, “This is going to be interesting.”
Both Astrid and Hiccup send him a frustrated glare. Then Hiccup turns back to Astrid and the ‘soup'.
“Emphasis on almost. Eggs fall into the almost category.”
“You made a soup last week that had eggs in it!”
“I didn't cook them with all the other ingredients though! I hard boiled them separately and then added them!”
“You could have said that!”
“I thought it was obvious,” Hiccup says with no small amount of exasperation.
Again Snotlout interjects with a snide remark. “Hiccup, you should have known Astrid wouldn't understand. She couldn't cook to save the Edge.”
Hiccup visibly winces, looking sideways to Astrid who has now directed her spoon towards Snolout, her face growing red with anger and embarrassment.
“Not helping Snotlout,” he says through gritted teeth. Astrid was clearly nearing her boiling point, and Snotlout was only making it worse. If this carried on both of them will end up beheaded by a wooden spoon – which may seem impossible, but Astrid would make it happen if she wanted to.
“I'm just sayin'-“
“Don't you dare finish that sentence Jorgenson.” Astrid seethes in a scarily quiet tone. She makes a threatening step towards Snotlout, spoon raised - its time she taught the stupid, annoying, muttonhead a lesson.
“Whoa!” Hiccup leaps in between the two raising his hands in a calming gesture, with his left hand he slowly removes the spoon from Astrid's iron grip. “Let’s calm down a bit. Snotlout, do you think you could go and ask Fishlegs for some thyme and garlic from his garden for me?”
Snotlout huffs, but complies when Hiccup gives him a pointed look. Once the small Viking has left Hiccup turns to Astrid who has picked up a carrot to replace the spoon he took away whilst his back was turned.
“Astrid...” Hiccup sighs. “Can you please put the carrot down, we both know in your hands it can be a mighty weapon.”
“It’s my turn to cook! You always end up taking my turn for me somehow, and your always so busy I wanted to let you have a chance to have a relaxing evening.” Astrid crosses her arms, trying to keep her angry front up. But Hiccup can see she is less angry than frustrated and a little annoyed now. He smiles, Astrid's intentions are good, but he really could not let her cook – last time everyone got mild food poisoning.
“I appreciate the thought. I really do. But...” Hiccup gestures with his hand to the less than appetising looking soup. “I really think it would be better if I made dinner.”
Astrid sighs. “Hiccup-“
“Or at least let me help you.”
For a couple of seconds the two look at each other; Astrid with a frustrated stare that clearly says “I am cooking either way”, and Hiccup with a pleading look that clearly says “I just want to help”. With another sigh for emphasis Astrid nods reluctantly, it is incredibly difficult to say no to Hiccup when he gives her that look, it would be like kicking a small rabbit. She gestures to the soup, still bubbling on its stand above the fire. “Tell me what to do then.”
“First of all, we are going to need to get rid of that,” he says pointing to the soup. “There's literally no way in Hel that you could save that.”
And get rid of all my hard work? Astrid fumes to herself. But she complies because Hiccup is right, that soup really was inedible – even she knew that. Snotlout returns with a large clump of thyme in one hand and a whole garlic in the other, just as Hiccup and Astrid heave the now empty cauldron over the fire pit.
“Aww man! Have you two finished fighting?”
Astrid rolls her eyes at Snotlout, deeming it below herself to answer such a stupid question.
“Well, considering I haven't lost my head to a carrot, yes I would say so.” Hiccup says sarcastically as he takes the ingredients from Snotlout's hands and begins to prepare them on the chopping board.
Snotlout huffs and crosses his arms. “She threatened you with the carrot too! Just my luck to miss something like that! Hiccup Haddock, heir of Berk, threatened by his girlfriend with a measly carrot. Oh to have seen that.” He sounds genuinely put out on missing something like that. Hiccup just shakes his head in bemusement. Before taking Astrid's hand and giving her the knife to cut up the thyme and garlic.
“Here, you chop those up, nice and small, whilst I fry the chicken.”
“Are you sure you trust her with that?”, Snotlout points warily to the knife which Astrid applies with overly aggressive chops to the thyme. By way of answer Hiccup hands Snotlout a knife of his own to chop up the vegetables.
“There, now if Astrid does take it upon herself to murder you at least you can protect yourself.”
“Oh great”, Snotlout grumbles sarcastically before applying the knife to an onion.
Astrid just ignores them both, thoroughly annoyed with the two boys. Once everything was finally left in the pot to simmer away in a fine smelling broth, Hiccup left to get Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut.
“You’re sure it’s safe?” Fishlegs asks as they walk along the planking towards the Clubhouse.
“Yes. The soup has been dealt with, and Astrid isn't feeling murderous any more – well... less so any way.” Hiccup tries to reassure them.
“Well as long as I get some dinner, I'm starving!”, complains Tuffnut.
“Yeah! Me too!”, joins Ruffnut.
“I can guarantee that no one will get food poisoning this time.” Hiccup says jokingly. Unfortunately they were near the clubhouse door, from which an angry yell bursts out; “HICCUP HADDOCK!!”.
“Y’know what? Might just skip dinner today.” Hiccup says before running away as fast as he can.