Work Text:
Korfu, 1862
The sun was rapidly approaching the horizon, when the Empress put down her quill for a moment, letting her gaze wander over the terrace.
Now that the scratching on the paper had died down, her ears picked up on the sound of the waves crashing against the coast much more clearly.
She closed her eyes, lids fluttering as she inhaled deeply. The salty scent of the ocean reached her nostrils, mixing with the sweetness of freshly cut oranges from the little table next to her.
Korfu.
She smiled.
Originally she'd come here to recover from a lung disease. The fresh air had done its part and it hadn't taken long until her ailment lessened.
She could have left for Vienna for a while now.
As the thought of home crossed her mind, she opened her eyes and stared at the sheets of paper which lay scattered on the stone bench on which she sat.
No, in Vienna she'd never have the freedom she was privileged to enjoy here.
Elisabeth had taken a liking to Greek mythology, which had led her to studying both ancient and modern Greek. For hours she'd been preoccupied with writing down her thoughts and impressions in—still quite simple, but correct—sentences in that language.
Just like her teacher had foretold it—with time it had become easier to use it and she took every chance to practice, so she could improve.
She hoped to gain a bit more proficiency before her inevitable return to Vienna.
Elisabeth sighed. She really couldn't justify it any longer to flee and hide from her imperial duties like representation and being a pretty accessory to her husband, could she?
The young woman rose from her seating spot and casually walked to the wall which framed the terrace. From up here she could look over a large part of the island's landscape, which almost looked like an oil painting. Houses after houses, orchards all over the area and there, just a glance away, the Mediterranean Sea.
It was in moments like these that she longed to possess artistic talent. To be able to paint this wonder… it certainly would be a comfort and consolation to take this impression and keep it frozen in time, without the threat of failing memory washing it all away.
It would be a way to escape again when the daily life in Vienna threatened to smother her.
Her gaze was unfocused as she stood staring into the distance, her hand brushing over the rough stone.
Vienna meant duties, duties, duties.
She swallowed hard. Was it wrong to think about her own home like that? About her own family?
She shook her head as if to answer another person. Family—what was that compared to freedom? She squinted, her fingers almost digging into the wall.
Her actions were selfish. She was selfish.
"A fascinating habit…"
Elisabeth jolted and only with great effort resisted the impulse to turn around. She knew exactly who was standing behind her.
"… But not that sensible. Tell me why it is that you humans strive to hurt yourself like that?"
Elisabeth forced herself to relax her eyes and facial expression and then looked down. She slowly took one hand away, and then the other—there were slight abrasions. Nothing warranting wound care, but still…she hadn't even noticed she was doing that.
A slight shiver moved down her limbs and an all too familiar coldness spread throughout her core.
It had been a while since he'd last sought her out. Back then she'd pushed him away, showed him the cold shoulder, after her daughter's-
No, that-
She quickly shoved down those unpleasant memories before they could affect her too much.
Fine then. He wouldn't leave anytime soon anyways, she somehow knew that. One conversation couldn't hurt. Just one.
She straightened her back, adjusted her white gowns and slowly turned to face him. She carried herself how she did when slipping into her Empress persona. Hiding every weakness, raising her chin to meet his gaze, feigning indifference.
There he was—pale, majestic and unreal as always.
He'd bent down to a shrub, closely inspecting some of the leaves.
The Empress cleared her throat but he seemed to ignore her. Wonderful.
"Life is a fascinating phenomenon. You humans have barely had enough time to realise its magnificence and the sheer multitude of paths and actions to take throughout, when it's already over for you. Just like that. So very brief."
He smiled coldly and stood up, finally meeting her gaze.
"Did you know that disease and death spreads very quickly in plants? If one single leaf is affected, it doesn't take long until he whole organism falls apart. If one doesn't cut it off. It's not that different for humans."
He took a step towards her, causing Elisabeth to stiffen a little.
"Have you come here to philosophize about the life of plants and humans, or did you want to talk to me?" She asked him, sounding a little bit harsher than intended but she was determined to not let herself be lulled into compliance by him again.
He seemed to ignore her tone, because he only laughed and stepped even closer.
"Elisabeth… humorous as ever."
She turned her head to the side. She had better things to do than talk to him. There were only a few weeks left until she had to make the travel back to the Empire.
"You are thinking very loudly."
His voice was suddenly right next to her ear, causing her goosebumps. No, damn it! She had to stay strong.
She turned away fullyand took a few steps along the wall.
"You will miss this, isn't it so?"
His sudden softness surprised her a little, but she didn't let that show. She only nodded and balled her hands into fists.
"I have to go back. After all, I am the Empress of Austria, not just anyone."
If only she could be someone else…
"Yes, that… and a mother. Or did you forget that?"
Elisabeth stopped dead in her tracks, whirling around to glare at Death.
He just stared back as usual, no emotions visible in his expression.
How could he dare to mention her motherhood? When it was him who had taken Sophie-
Her stomach twisted itself into knots as she thought about her deceased daughter for a second time. It's been five years but it still felt as if it had happened yesterday.
She suppressed the urge to kick against the wall in frustration and instead sank down on the stone bench, where her writing equipment still lay spread out.
Prickling tears burned at he corners of her eyes and she had to swallow against the lump in her throat to prevent them from falling. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying now, no.
But she couldn't prevent the slight shaking of her hands.
Just as she reigned herself in by taking in a sharp breath, she felt him carefully reaching for her hand, holding it in his.
Why was she allowing this? Why wasn't she standing up, walking away and letting him rot in this exact spot?
"You have two living children. You haven't seen them for years."
This statement stirred something within her. Something for which she wasn't ready yet. She pushed it away.
"Gisela is a strong girl and Rudolf will barely remember me. They don't need me."
Elisabeth permitted it when he wrapped one arm around her shoulder, slowly pulling her into his embrace. It felt right, in a way.
"We both know that that's not true. Don't delude yourself, or me. You don't want to engage with your children."
An iron fist closed tightly around her heart, making her cower in defeat.
"I love my children," she mumbled, before pressing pressing her lips together as a sole tear ran down her cheek.
Death laughed quietly and tightened his grip around her shoulders.
"That may be so. There are few mothers who don't love their offspring. But what you love even more, is freedom."
She opened her mouth, eager to defend herself, but no word wanted to come out.
"It is useless to deny it. Black dove, you are stuck in a golden cage. And you know it."
With every word he spoke she was reminded more and more of the true magnitude of duty, protocol and limitations awaiting her in Vienna. Court ceremonial, representing the Empire…. her husband.
The pressure inside of her grew and grew and she was almost sure she would burst any moment now. But then she shook herself free, ripping away from Death, and jumped up from the bench.
"Then what should I do? I don't have a choice, I can't just refuse it all. The court of Vienna, there is no way I could stand in opposition!"
Elisabeth's voice almost cracked as she spoke hastily, pressing one hand against her forehead in desperation.
"There are only rules and prohibitions, you know how they'd forbidden me from seeing my children! My own children!"
She tried to regulate her breathing, trying hard to not lose her temper completely. She couldn't, not with him so close.
"And yet… you are here. Far away from Vienna, not even trying anymore. Haven you given up your fight for freedom so quickly?"
Death stood up and hurried to Elisabeth, who didn't struggle as he once again embraced her.
"Everything is so hard," she whispered, sighing as Death gently stroked her back.
"You don't have to endure it… You know that you could come with me. I could give you the freedom you're yearning for."
Elisabeth felt a certain warmth replacing the coldness, as Death laid one hand against her cheek, gently holding her by the chin and nudging her to look up to him.
"You only have to say the word. I know that you want it."
He let his hand wander across her upper arm, down her forearm and grabbed her wrist tightly.
"That you want me."
Her thoughts felt foggy. Did she want it? Did she want Death?
But then, at once, an array of positive memory shot through her mind like arrows. Possenhofen. Riding across the meadows. The laughter of her children.
No, she couldn't leave yet. She wanted to fight.
Collecting all her strength, she ripped away from Death and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Not yet," she said, shaking her head.
But as quickly as that impulse had come, uncertainty followed. Was it the right decision?
There were so many doubts, so many feelings to sort through… And yet, she couldn't deny that something had sparked inside of her, causing a fire to burn brightly in her soul.
Anything other than trying again was suddenly unimaginable.
Death let out a long sigh and quickly but affectionately stroked her hair, letting his hand linger for just a second too long.
"Oh, Elisabeth. The only person standing in your way is you."
Before she could answer anything, he was gone. It hadn't taken more than a blink of an eye.
Of course. As quickly and sudden as he appeared, he also used to disappear.
She walked back to the bench, her gaze falling onto the paper.
There was a certain power the written word held over matters.
Elisabeth furrowed her brows, her eyes darting back and forth between the sheet and the quill.
And as if struck by lighting, she suddenly knew exactly how she could, maybe, fight for a small piece of freedom.