Chapter Text
The rooftop of the Cage, the Shishitoren headquarters, was unusually silent. It was late, and almost everyone, even Choji, had already left. Therefore, the pastel glow of the sunset was a show meant only for the last two people lingering there, enjoying the peace and their mutual company. Sakura was sitting on the edge, his legs dangling over the drop, his mismatched eyes fixed on the horizon. A heavy weight settled on his shoulder, a broad, warm hand that smelled faintly of citrus.
"A penny for your thought?" Togame asked, his voice soft as it always was when he spoke to Sakura. He sat down beside him, his movements lacking their usual agility and speed. He looked tired.
"I'm not thinking. I'm just... looking."
"Liar," Togame teased, but there was no bite in it. He reached out, his fingers brushing a stray lock of Sakura’s white hair behind his ear.
Togame’s day must have been long, filled with patrols, squabbles, and endless meetings at the end of it all. Sakura had arrived a couple of hours ago, during a particularly heated argument between Togame and a small group of old-guard power devotees who, apparently, did not agree with the gang's new policy. He waited for it to end, refraining from interfering and dishing out a few clarifying punches to those stubborn, lame guys. Some members of the Shishitoren were pieces of shit, but Togame was slowly managing to cleanse the environment of those toxic personalities. It wasn't easy, but Sakura was secretly proud of how he managed the assholes. Of course, he wasn’t going to tell him; he preferred to enjoy the quiet, simply sitting next to Togame, resting his limbs and his mind.
After all, his day had been just as full and intense, and Sakura was quite tired. Surely not as much as Togame. He carried the weight of the guilt for Shishitoren’s destruction and the responsibility of its reconstruction, and the process was taking a toll on him. Sakura always tried to support him as best he could, but he understood that Togame wanted to succeed on his own. Togame had promised him he wouldn't be lame anymore, so Sakura had to let him do it without putting pressure on him.
Things were going well, though. After a few months of dating, Sakura had grown used to the idea of having a boyfriend, and even his friends were okay with him heading to the Cage or Togame’s place right after his patrol shifts to hang out. Or spend the night.
Sakura huffed, turning his face away to hide the creeping heat in his cheeks. Togame didn’t say a word about his sudden blush, but smiled one of his warm, knowing smiles, and for a few moments, everything was perfect. Since the fight against Endo, since the walls of Shishitoren had crumbled and been rebuilt into something less suffocating, they had found their way to be together. It was nice, exciting and soothing at the same time.
"Actually, I was thinking about something,” Togame blurted out, breaking the silence.
“I have been thinking about it all day.”
“What is it?”
“That I'm glad I found you," Togame whispered, his gaze dropping to his own lap. "I'm glad we have this… thing between us. Even though… I am not sure I deserve you."
Sakura’s heart hammered against his ribs, his face becoming the same shade of red as the sky. He didn't know how to handle words like that. He just leaned into Togame’s side, feeling the steady heartbeat of the strongest man he knew.
“Idiot. Of course you do. And… I like this thing we have too.”
Togame wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Sakura relaxed a little more, enjoying the closeness, but he didn't notice the way Togame’s smile didn't quite reach his eyes. He didn't see the way Togame looked at his own scarred knuckles with a frown on his face.
Sakura sighed, thinking about how lucky he had been to finally be with someone who could see and love him for who he was.
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A week later, they were at a small, cramped diner on the outskirts of the Shishitoren district. The lights flickered, and the air smelled of grease and soy sauce.
Togame was halfway through a bowl of extra-large ramen. He looked... normal. Maye just… distracted.
"You've got broth on your face," Sakura muttered, reaching across the table with a napkin. He did it instinctively, his ears turning pink at his own boldness. Togame didn't pull away. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes for a second. "You're taking care of me, Haruka? That's dangerous. People might think you actually like me."
"Shut up," Sakura snapped, but his hand lingered on Togame's cheek a second too long.
Togame caught his wrist, his thumb tracing the pulse point there. For a moment, his expression softened into something so raw it made Sakura’s breath hitch. "I…" Togame whispered, almost to himself. "I really don't deserve you."
"Don't say stupid things," Sakura replied, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "You're here. I’m here. That's enough, okay?"
At the time, Sakura thought it was just Togame being dramatic. Honestly, Sakura had noticed small things like tiny gestures or expressions on Togame’s handsome face that had never been there before. But the dizzying rush of his first relationship with another boy had blinded him. His excitement had made him superficial, settling for the smiles Togame gave him rather than looking for the pain hidden behind them.
Anyway, he thought Togame’s distraction was due to the burden of leadership. He didn't realize those small changes were the sound of a heart hardening and a conscience rotting. The worst thing was that Sakura couldn't yet know that he would pay dearly for not paying enough attention.
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The fight was supposed to be nothing, just three drunks from another district looking for trouble. Usually, Sakura and Togame would have solved the situation with a few bored kicks and a laugh. But things went sideways when one of the thugs pulled a brass knuckle.
A heavy, metallic thwack echoed in the narrow alley. Sakura didn't see it coming; the punch caught him square in the face, sending him flying against a brick wall. His vision blurred, a sharp copper taste filling his mouth.
"Sakura!" Suddenly, the air in the alleyway changed. The temperature seemed to drop, replaced by a suffocating, predatory pressure. Sakura wiped the blood from his lip and looked up, and his heart froze.
Togame wasn't just fighting anymore. He was butchering.
He had the man who hit Sakura by the throat, pinning him against a dumpster. Togame’s green eyes had gone dark, devoid of the warmth Sakura had seen just an hour ago. He looked exactly like the legend of the Shishitoren, the lion who ruled through fear.
Togame’s fist was pulled back, trembling with a violent, unrestrained force. The man underneath him was already unconscious, his head lolling to the side, but Togame didn't seem to notice. He was going to strike again, and this time the consequences could have been dire.
"Togame! Stop!"
Sakura scrambled up and lunged, his fingers locking around Togame’s wrist just as the punch began its descent. Togame’s arm felt like it was made of steel. For a terrifying second, Togame turned his gaze toward Sakura, and for the first time, Sakura felt a flicker of genuine fear. He didn't recognize the man looking back at him.
"He’s out of it," Sakura hissed, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "You’re gonna kill him."
Togame blinked. The red haze in his eyes flickered and then died, replaced by a look of sheer horror. He looked at the man he was choking, then down at Sakura’s bruised face, and finally at Sakura’s hand on his wrist.
He shook Sakura off and backed away, his chest heaving.
"I... I am sorry," Togame whispered, his voice trembling. "But… He hit you. I couldn't... I couldn't let it go."
"I know," Sakura said, reaching out again. "But I'm okay. You don't have to go that far."
Togame looked at his own hands, covered in filth and blood, as the realization hit him. He was doing it again. He was being lame again. He had spent weeks, months, thinking Choji was the one who made him a monster, but here he was, with the person he loved most, falling back into the same cliché of unnecessary cruelty.
He realized then that he didn't know how to protect Sakura without destroying himself. He didn't know how to be a "boyfriend" and a "fighter" at the same time. To him, loving Sakura meant he would always be one wrong punch away from becoming the man he hated. The man Sakura despised.
"You see, Haruka? I'm still lame," Togame muttered, his voice hollow. "I haven't changed at all."
"Togame, wait…"
"No," Togame snapped, pulling his jacket tight around him as if it were armor. "Stay away from me, Haruka. I can't... I'm not ready for this."
He turned and ran away, leaving Sakura standing alone with the unconscious thugs and the cold realization that something had just broken and that it couldn't be fixed with an apology.
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Sakura was probably too young and inexperienced to prevent the fall. The end of it. For a few days, things seemed back to normal, and Sakura stopped thinking about that episode, always tied up with a million things. The breakup didn't happen in a diner or on the Cage's sunny rooftop. It happened in an alleyway behind Furin High, just as the sun was being swallowed by a thick layer of rain clouds. He had been waiting for twenty minutes, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Togame texted him to wait for him at their spot after school, just a normal message that offered no warning of the impending catastrophe. When he finally showed up, he wasn't wearing his usual cocky grin. He looked daunted. His posture was rigid, his eyes fixed on a point somewhere over Sakura’s shoulder.
"Hey," Sakura said, stepping forward. "You're late. I thought we were going to…"
"Haruka… Look, we need to talk.”
“Ah? Talk?” He asked with a confused expression. “I mean… Okay? Tell me.”
“The fact is… I think we should… break up.”
The words dropped between them like ice. Sakura blinked, a nervous, confused laugh escaping his throat. "What? What are you talking about? If this is a joke, it’s a shitty one."
"It’s not a joke," Togame said, and finally, he looked at him. But there was no warmth. There was only a cold, clinical distance. "I looked at myself today. And all I see is the man who let Shishitoren rot. I am a man who hurt people because he was too weak to lead… And I know you have already forgiven me, but I can’t do this anymore. I need to change… for real, before I can call myself worthy of being with you."
"The fuck are you talking about? That was in the past!" Sakura shouted, his voice cracking. "We moved past that! You… you changed! You’re not lame anymore!"
"No! I haven't changed enough!" Togame snapped, his voice rising for the first time. "Every time I look at you, I know I’m living a lie, pretending I’m some 'good guy' while I’m still carrying all that shit with me."
He stepped closer, his shadow looming over Sakura.
"You’re going to be someone great, Haruka. But right now? You’re just a kid who knows nothing about the world. And me? I’m still lame, trust me. I’m a mess. And being with you is making me soft when I need to be fixing what I broke."
"I don't care about that!" Sakura grabbed Togame’s jacket, his knuckles white. "We can fix it together!"
Togame pried Sakura’s hands off him with a terrifying, effortless strength.
"No. I need to focus on myself. I need to become someone who isn't a pathetic shadow of a leader. Until then... you’re just a distraction I can’t afford. I cannot be with you anymore. I am sorry… but you’ll be better off without me."
Togame turned his back. He didn't look back. Not even when the first heavy drops of rain started to fall, mixing with the hot, angry tears that Sakura refused to let drop until he was sure he was alone.
Except, Sakura wasn't alone. From the shadow, a single eye watched the scene with sharp focus. Before moving, Suo played nervously with his tassel earring, holding a small umbrella and waiting for the moment when Sakura’s knees finally hit the pavement. The rain wasn't heavy yet, but it was the kind of cold drizzle that soaked through their gakuran in seconds. Sakura was expecting the familiar spike of anger to save him from the misery of being abandoned again. But this time the rage didn't come. There was only a hollow ache in his chest. Then, the rain stopped hitting his head.
Sakura blinked, his vision blurred by the moisture on his face. A dark, rhythmic click-clink sounded near his ear. He looked up and saw the underside of a transparent umbrella.
"Hey, Sakura-kun," a voice said. It was smooth, calm, and all too familiar. Suo Hayato stood over him, his posture as perfect as ever. He held the umbrella with one hand, the other tucked casually into his pocket.
"Go away," Sakura croaked, his voice raw. "I don't want you to see me like this."
"Sakura-kun, I am just worried you’ll catch a cold," Suo replied, tilting the umbrella so it shielded Sakura more effectively. "Anyway, I was heading to Pothos café for some tea, and it seems I found a stray cat in the rain. It is cruel to leave him here to drown, don’t you think?"
Sakura finally looked at him, his face contorted in a snarl that lacked any real teeth. "I'm not a cat. And I'm not... I'm not crying, okay?"
"I never said you were," Suo lied. He reached down, offering a hand. "But you are shivering. Why don’t you come with me for some coffee or something to eat? My treat."
Sakura stared at the hand. It was pale, the fingers long and steady. It looked nothing like Togame’s scarred, tan knuckles. For a second, Sakura felt a wave of nausea. Togame had thrown him away to go "fix" himself. Togame thought being with Sakura was a weakness. With a shaky, defiant breath, Sakura slapped Suo’s hand away and stood up on his own. His legs felt heavy. He stumbled, and before he could hit the ground again, Suo was there bracing him, a firm arm sliding behind his back to steady him.
"Easy," Suo whispered.
"Let go of me! I can walk," Sakura hissed, though he didn't push Suo away this time.
"I know you can," Suo said, his voice a soothing hum, as he adjusted his pace to match Sakura’s uneven gait, keeping the umbrella perfectly centered over the white-haired boy.
As they walked out of the alley, Suo glanced back once, toward the direction Togame had vanished. His expression didn't change, but his grip on the umbrella handle tightened just a fraction. He had seen everything. He had seen the way Sakura’s confidence had dimmed under Togame’s noble - foolish - abandonment. And as Suo turned his eye to the shivering boy beside him, the boy he had loved from the shadows since the first day of school, a cold, calculated thought formed in his mind.
If you think he’s a distraction or that he makes you weak, Togame-san... then thank you for giving him to me. I will take better care of him.