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“Okay,” Bood said, looking around the table at his gathered teammates. “Who’re your hall passes?”
A low groan rose into the dim air of the hotel bar. It was late; a lot of the players had already gone to bed, leaving Ilya, Shane, Wyatt, Bood, Troy, Harris, and Luca behind. The bar should have closed two hours ago, but the Centaurs had just won their first Stanley Cup (against the fucking Admirals!!!) and none of the staff felt like kicking the victorious hockey players to the curb. There had been a huge party at their hotel when they’d gotten back, boasting even some of the Admirals in attendance. It had gone on for hours, but the majority of the party goers were long gone. Harris was leaning drunkenly against Troy, who wasn’t doing much better. Luca might have actually been asleep, head resting on crossed arms on the table. Bood was a lot more awake than he should have been slowly turning a coaster around in his hands as Wyatt energetically told Ilya about the latest Moonknight comic. He had an arm stretched across the back of the booth, with Shane leaning against him, head tipped back onto his husband’s shoulder. At the men’s collective groan, he picked his head up and looked around the table.
”What’s a hall pass?” he asked.
”Like, someone that you’d want to sleep with, but it wouldn’t be considered cheating on your partner,” Wyatt explained.
Shane wrinkled his nose. Ilya chuckled, squeezing Shane in a brief hug.
”I’d pick…” Bood started. “Scarlet Johansson.”
Wyatt nodded and Luca, head still on the table, hummed agreed in agreement.
”You guys are so unimaginative,” Harris said (slurred). “No shade to Scar Jo, but she’s every straight guy’s hallpass.”
”And who would you pick?” Troy asked, laughing.
”Oh, my God,” Harris sighed. “I’d pick… Chris Hemsworth.”
”That’s no better!” Bood protested with a laugh.
”I never said I was imaginative,” Harris grumbled.
“I’d go with Chris Evans,” Troy said. “He’s the hottest Chris.”
”That is Chris Pine erasure,” Ilya said.
”Ew, no, Chris Pine?” Shane said, leaning away from Ilya to frown at him. “The weirdo Christian guy from Jurassic World?”
”That’s Chris Pratt,” Wyatt said. “Chris Pine was in those Star Trek movies.”
”Oh.” Shane leaned against Ilya again. “I guess he’s better.”
”Who’d you pick?” Luca asked, only lifting his head far enough to make eye contact.
Shane shrugged. “No one. I’m happily married.”
”Oh, come on,” Ilya said. “It is just for fun.” He smirked, knowing how to get Shane to join in. “I’d pick… Margot Robbie.”
Shane snorted.
”What?” Ilya asked.
”Aiming a little high there, don’t you think?”
The howl of laughter from the table drowned out Ilya’s sputtering.
”Excuse me?!” Ilya pulled his arm from around Shane’s shoulders. “What the fuck?”
”You were ranked 5th in the list of hottest hockey players,” Harris said. “Shane was number 1.”
Shane smirked, shrugging nonchalantly. Ilya knew that Shane was a little drunk, but hell, so was he.
”So who would you pick, Mr. Number One?” Ilya asked.
”Idris Elba,” Shane said, not even needing to think about it.
”Idris Elba?!” Ilya repeated. “I’m not in Margot Robbie’s league, but you are in Idris Elba’s? And what happened to being happily married?”
Again, Shane shrugged. “There’s just something about that gravelly voice and those smouldering eyes.”
Ilya crossed his arms and pouted.
”Well,” Luca said, pushing himself up to lean on his elbows. “I’d-“
”Meghan Fox,” Ilya interrupted.
Shane frowned. “What?”
”I’d pick her,” Ilya said. “You remember Jennifer’s Body?”
Cheeks flushing pink, Shane’s frown turned into a scowl. “Dev Patel.”
Ilya blinked. “He looks nothing like Idris Elba.”
”And Meghan Fox looks nothing like Margot Robbie,” Shane countered. “They don’t have to look the same, they just have to be hot, right?”
They glared at each other.
”Uh-oh,” Harris whispered.
”Mom and dad are fighting,” Troy whispered back, stifling his giggles behind his hand.
”Zoe Saldana,” Ilya snapped.
”John Cho,” Shane countered.
”Tom Cruz,” Ilya said.
Shane frowned again. “Really?”
Ilya paused. “No, not really. Patrick Swayze.”
”He’s dead,” Wyatt said.
”Shut up!” Ilya and Shane shouted.
They were facing each other now, both tense, as if they were at center ice about to face off.
“Emilio Estevez,” Shane said.
”Are they just going through the cast of The Outsiders?” Troy asked.
”Jensen Ackles,” Ilya said.
Shane gasped. “Misha Collins.”
”Jared Padel- Pada- the other one!” Ilya shouted.
”Mark Sheppard!”
Ilya frowned, head rearing back slightly. “He is so old!”
”He’s still hot!”
”Have they even watched Supernatural?” Luca asked.
”Cate Blanchett,” Ilya said.
Shane was red in the face, mouth scrunched. Then, eyes glowing, a wide smile spread across his face as he leaned towards his husband. Slowly, looking Ilya dead in the eye, he said, “Rose Landry.”
Ilya’s eyes went wide and his mouth gaped slightly open. Shane smirked and leaned back in the booth, arms crossed over his chest triumphantly. The others watched, eyes going back and forth like they were watching a tennis match.
”Room,” Ilya almost growled.
They were both up and out of the bar in a flash.
”Alright,” Harris said. “Who wants to place bets on them fighting or fucking?”
—
In the morning, on the plane back to Ottawa from New York, Shane and Ilya were fast asleep, curled towards each other. Hoods up, they were holding hands and sharing headphones, the rest of the world blocked out for the time being.
”So…” Troy said. “D’you think they fought or fucked?”
Harris shrugged.
Even rose from his seat, turning to kneel in it, and glared at Troy over the back. “They fucked.” He had deep bags under his eyes. “For hours.”
Wyatt and Bood groaned and Luca cackled.
”Pay up, boys!” Harris said. “You owe Luca and me $300 each.”
”I should never bet against you,” Troy grumbled.