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Summary
Jakurai never thought himself a man who could fall in love.
One could argue he was in love with his studies. With his work, his experiments. but something so all consuming to the point where you try and avoid it to not trap yourself doesn't sound like love to Jakurai. It was more correct to call it obsession.
One could also argue he was in love with Doppo Kannonzaka. but someone so good, so eager to please, couldn't be with a man with a sullied past. Not in a way that's gentle, not in a way that's kind.
So Jakurai doesn't find what he feels for Doppo love.
More like inspiration. addiction. Senseless tugging in Jakurai's heart until he couldn't handle himself anymore.TLDR: Jakurai trying not to slip back into his past mindset of maybe a little dangerously obsessing over medical study but his love for Doppo is making it way too hard
