Chapter Text
He sat up abruptly, clutching his arms and curling inward, trying to fold himself into something smaller, trying to hold himself together.
It didn’t work.
The scream clawed its way up his throat before he could stop it. Every nerve in his body screamed with it, the pain pulsed through his ribs, his shoulders, his legs- everywhere at once.
His hands were slick with sweat and something else; Yuji looked down on himself, noticing the blood slid down his forearms in slow lines, deep cuts making themselves in his skin all over his body, injuries from his last fight against a curse. The blood soaked through the thin hospital sheet over his legs, blooming red across the white fabric.
His stomach dropped and his breathing got caught in his throat for a second; one breath, then another, and another- his chest refused to fill all the way, like something heavy was pressing down on his lungs. “What the fuck is happening to me?!” Yuji shouted, his voice cracking halfway through.
He felt the room spinning, the walls closing on him, the harsh white lights burning his eyes, the smell of chemicals and something else, something wrong.
His vision blurred at the edges, dark spots flickering in and out, he blinked hard, but it only made the tears spill over.
‘Did I lose against a fucking curse? I’m supposed to be stronger…’
The thought instantly made everything worse. His fingers curled tighter around his arms, nails digging into his skin. He couldn’t feel the pressure properly, his hands had started tingling, pins and needles crawling through them, everything was numb and burning at the same time.
Something grabbed his arm, Yuji flinched violently, his whole body jerking on the metal table where he woke up, a hand wrapped around his wrist, firm. “Yuji-kun, you need to calm down.” The voice cut through the noise in his head, it was familiar… something that shouldn’t be possible.
Yuji’s eyes darted sideways, his head still frozen in place like it might snap if he moved too fast. His gaze followed the hand gripping him.
White hair.
Blindfold.
Tall.
For a second his brain refused to process it, his breathing stuttered. “Gojo… sensei?” The words came out thin and shaky; his body trembled harder now, uncontrollable shivers running down his spine and his heart hammered so violently it hurt his chest.
‘Did I actually die?’ Yuji swallowed, but his throat felt too tight. ‘Why did it hurt this much? Why did it still hurt?’
His vision narrowed and black crept into the edges. Gojo’s grip tightened slightly as if he knew what was happening in his head.
“Hey. Stay with me.” His voice was calm, steady. “You’re breathing way too fast.” Yuji tried to answer but the air caught halfway up his throat and his lungs pulled in another desperate breath that still wasn’t enough.
Gojo leaned a little closer. “Listen to me,” he said quietly. “Slow inhale.” Yuji’s chest jerked again. “In… four seconds.” Gojo lifted a finger slightly as if counting. “One.” Yuji sucked in a shaky breath. “Two.” His lungs burned. “Three.” Air trembled in his chest. “Four. Good.”
Yuji choked slightly on the exhale. “Now out,” Gojo said, the hand on his wrist didn’t let go. “Slow.” Yuji forced the breath out, shaking; his heart was still racing, but the black creeping at the edges of his vision paused for a moment. Gojo kept his voice low. “That’s it…” he said. “You’re just panicking, everything’s all right.”
Yuji’s eyes widened slightly, the words hit his brain but refused to settle properly, his stomach twisted again, for a moment there was only the sound of his own breathing and his mind lurched.
‘I died. But I’m breathing. But I saw-.’
Pain flared through his body when he shifted on the bed, sharp enough to make him suck in another shaky breath.
‘Dead people don’t feel pain. Right? This is what dying feels like?’
Yuji’s fingers tightened around his arms again. “I-.” His voice shook. “I remember-.”
Blood.
Concrete.
Cold.
His thoughts skipped. “I stopped breathing…” His heart beat harder against his chest. “I know I did.” He remembered the weight crushing his chest. The way the air wouldn’t come back no matter how hard he tried, the darkness and then nothing.
“Of course silly, Sukuna ripped your heart out of your chest.” Gojo talked while moving his free hand to his own chest and mimicking the action of taking his heart out. “But with how fast it’s beating right now I wouldn't believe you lost it in the first place.”
For a moment, Yuji didn’t answer. He waited a few seconds to load the information. “Sukuna? What? No that wasn’t- What?” Gojo’s hand stayed firm around Yuji’s wrist, grounding but unmoving. “Breathe first,” he said quietly. “Questions later.” Yuji tried, but the air still refused to settle in his lungs.
A woman’s voice cut through the room. “What is wrong with him? He didn’t have that many injuries a second ago...” Yuji’s eyes snapped toward the sound, a figure stepped into view behind Gojo, messy brown hair, dark circles under her eyes, a white coat thrown loosely over her shoulders, she looked completely unfazed except for the confusion on her eyes.
She stopped beside the bed and glanced at him. “And his hair is way longer than when he sat up…” she muttered. “More and more injuries are just… appearing out of nowhere.”
Yuji blinked rapidly, trying to focus through the blur in his vision. “I-.” His breath hitched again. “I can’t-.” She moved closer without hesitation and placed two fingers against the side of his neck, checking his pulse, her expression barely changed.
“Heart rate’s through the roof.” “No kidding, Yuji-kun could power a whole building with his heartbeat alone.” Gojo said and she shot him a brief, unimpressed look.
“Try not to make it worse.” Yuji’s breathing started to spiral again, fast and shallow. “I can’t breathe-.” “Yes, you can,” she interrupted evenly, her voice wasn’t loud, but it was firm enough to cut through the panic.
“You’re hyperventilating.” She bent slightly so she was directly in his line of sight. “Look at me.” Yuji’s eyes struggled to focus on her face. “Good,” she said, her tone stayed the same. “Slow inhale through your nose.” Yuji tried, the breath came in shaky and uneven.
“Hold it.”
A second passed.
“Now exhale.” The air rushed out of his lungs, his hands were still shaking, not letting go of his arms. “Again,” she said and Yuji swallowed and tried another breath.
Slowly the room stopped spinning quite as violently. Shoko kept watching him carefully, fingers still on his pulse. “There we go,” she murmured.
Yuji’s thoughts were still racing, but they felt… slower now. Less like they were crashing into each other, slowly he let go of his arms and let his hand rest above the blanket.
“Where…” His voice cracked again. “Where am I?” “The morgue,” Shoko said bluntly while stepping back, Yuji stared at her, the word echoed in his head… Morgue… just like when he… It couldn’t be…
“Is this the afterlife?” Yuji could feel the sweat on his forehead, the cold of the room and the shaking of his body. “You’ve gotta be kidding me- How fucking unfair…”
Gojo and Shoko looked at each other for a second before looking back at Yuji. “Ah Yu-chan! How low do you think of me to think I’ll die?” The kid fully turned his head to look at Gojo, his face showing more confusion by the second. “What are you on about? You did.”
The taller man raised an eyebrow, not that the others could tell with his blindfold on. “Did Sukuna also shake your brain Yuji-kun? I didn’t die, I can’t! I’m the strongest, remember?" The pink haired just stared at him for a few seconds, his mouth slightly open.
“Gojo-sensei… You-.” His eyes fell on Shoko for a few seconds, the cogs in his brain moving, she didn’t look like that last time… Now she looked younger, like the first time he met her. His eyes came back to his teacher. “When… What day is it?” The white-haired just looked at him. “I don’t know, July something.”
Yuji’s stomach dropped. “July…?” The word left his mouth slowly, barely audible, his mind raced.
July? No. That wasn’t right.
Yuji’s fingers tightened against the sheet beneath him, the dried blood cracking slightly on his skin.
“Which July?” he asked quietly. “What do you mean ‘which July’?” Gojo asked. “The fucking year.” Shoko frowned a little. “2018.”
The world seemed to stop and for a moment Yuji just stared at her, then he laughed. A short, hollow sound that didn’t have any humor in it. “That’s not funny.”
No one else laughed.
Shoko crossed her arms. “Good thing I’m not joking.” Yuji’s breathing started picking up again and his thoughts slammed into each other.
‘No. No, that can’t be right.’
His gaze snapped back to Gojo. “You… you said you didn’t die.” “Correct.” Yuji’s throat felt tight. “But you did,” he insisted, voice trembling now. “I saw it.” It barely came out of him, nothing more than a faint whisper, Gojo tilted his head slightly. “Saw what?” Yuji swallowed.
Images forced their way into his mind whether he wanted them or not.
Shinjuku.
Smoke.
Blood.
Gojo standing.
Then…
Yuji’s hands started shaking again.
“You died.” he said, the room stayed quiet. Gojo didn’t move, Shoko blinked slowly and Yuji kept talking before either of them could interrupt. “Shinjuku,” he continued, words rushing out faster now. “December 24th. Sukuna he-.” His voice broke.
He clenched his fists harder. “He got through infinity…” Yuji finished and silence stretched across the room. Gojo finally spoke. “Yuji…” His voice had lost some of its teasing edge. “How do you know about infinity? I never talked to you about my technique.”
Yuji’s chest rose and fell unevenly, because the more he looked at Gojo standing there, alive, the more something cold crept up his spine. “If it’s July…” Yuji whispered.
His eyes slowly moved around the room again, the equipment, the walls; everything looked newer, untouched, like nothing happened yet, like the whole of jujutsu society didn’t crumble on halloween and everything fell apart on december.
His heart started pounding harder. “That means…” he murmured, his memories surged forward, the detention center, the school, Junpei, Mahito, Shibuya, the culling games, everything that came after.
All of it, still somewhere ahead after all the years; Yuji’s face slowly drained of color. “…No way.” His voice came out barely audible. “There’s no fucking way after 60 years I came back to this moment…”
“Yuji what are you talking about?” His gaze lifted back to Gojo. “I came back.” “Yes Yuji, you came back after you died in the detention center, Sukuna killed you, remember?” The boy shaked his head. “No I didn’t… I mean, I did but-.”
The realization settled into his chest like a stone. “Fuck…This is before everything.” Shoko looked at Gojo for a second and placed a hand on Yuji’s arm, sending reversed cursed energy to heal all the damage that appeared on him. “You’re not making any sense, Itadori.”
Yuji’s fingers curled into the sheet. “I came back in time.”