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English
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Published:
2016-09-19
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895
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1/1
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12
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i let you go

Summary:

"now that i found
a way to keep somehow
more than a broken vow"

Work Text:

"You don't have to go," It was an almost-plea. Almost. The desperation was there, in his voice, enough to be considered a plea, but it wasn't. It was a suggestion, "Please, stay."
His begs fell on deaf ears, as the shorter and smaller archangel in front of him kept walking, making no signs of stopping. They walked side by side, joined as an equal for one last time before fate tears them apart. Michael could say he'd rather be banished down with Lucifer than having Gabriel disappear off to Father knows where, no where to be found for centuries. He could only kneel at the edge of his bed every night, hands folded and head bowed, praying for the day his love returns. Pray for the day he could see those shimmering golden wings and be graced with the warm, booming presence he has grown to love.
"You and I both know I can't. If I stop now, I can't do what I was meant to do." His reply shattered the black haired man's heart, and his eyes fell closed. A pained look took over his face, and he tried to fight back the oncoming tears. He never had cried in his life, and now, of all times, he decides to shed tears? Absolutely horrid.
"I don't know if I'd be able to handle you leaving. I'll be so torn up," He paused, and when Gabriel turned his head away, he continued, "I'll be in a vulnerable situation, who is to say I won't seek love again?"
Guilt pooled in him when the blonde made a pained noise, letting out a whimper when Michael reached out to brush his hand against his arm, "I suppose that is a risk we'll have to take."
Hope left his body, and he wanted to scream at him to stay. He'd drop to his knees and pull at the white robe swishing with the wind's path, he'd look up and beg and plead and wish. He'd do anything to make sure the other remains by his side, under him, around him. Anywhere with him.
"Gabriel, please, you do not understand. You can stay by my side, we can be happy," Heaven's gates were approaching quickly, their sandals scuffling at the dusty ground, and the younger angel scoffed, turning to face Michael. Emotion was deep in his honey gold eyes, is this all there is in a goodbye?
"Samael-"
"Lucifer," Michael corrected him, sadly lowering his head and closing his eyes. The mention of the Morning Star's original name brought regret. He didn't like that feeling either.
"Samael was my mentor, and you are my lover. Watching you two kill each other is even worse than having to choose sides. It brings an unbearable pain that even as an archangel, I cannot withstand." Gabriel seemed to disregard Michael's feelings, only thinking of his own. That's how Gabriel was, and how he'd always be. A bright energy that burned only for himself, and Michael couldn't love him more.
They reached the golden, shining gates in silence. The sorrowful breeze brushed through the strands of hair, the robes lifting and allowing their skin to be caressed by the chill. Michael opened his mouth to speak, but Gabriel had spun sharply to him and grabbed his face, pulling him down to lock lips for the last time. It was a slow, painful kiss that made Michael's heart ache. He could feel the emotion Gabriel was trying to transfer to him through it. Longing, hurt, and love. Oh, he loved fiercely. Whether it be physical or mental, Gabriel knew how to make Michael feel like he was the only one in the world that was worthy, that deserved, that could have his affections. Not even Father or Lucifer could reach that height, and they all know Raphael has tried multiple times. Michael was special to him. The only one who could kiss and hold and touch him. He liked that.
But it was to be no more.
Even after they parted from a bruising, teary eyed kiss, Gabriel had sniffled and clung onto Michael's taller frame and held him there. The warmth of his body blocked out the chilling breeze, the sensation lingering long after Gabriel had unfolded and spread out his six glorious wings. Michael failed to suppress a sob as he took off and barreled down to Earth. The next day, he had become a blank sheet, making sure he had avoided all emotion. There was no need for pathetic additions meant for humans, not without Gabriel. He embraced the heart of a warrior fully, and he strove to be the best Father could ever want from a son. He dismissed any questions of the whereabouts of the youngest Archangel, even becoming bitter when rumors had passed around that he had passed, died, ceased to exist. Michael knew, somewhere in the mortal world, the tough and loud grace of his lover burned as bright as he could be.
He only regretted letting the Messenger go in the first place, even as he faced Lucifer in that cemetery. Even as he was latched onto and drug into the depths of the Cage. Even as he had lived without a clue to Gabriel's status, up until he was bound to an eternity of torture by the hellish being himself. Only regret? Letting him go.