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Stiles sat at the window under the moon light with his face in his hands running them through his hair as he sighed out staring up at the light through the window his dark chocolate colored eyes reflecting in the night taking deep breaths of the crisp fall air as it hit his lungs and stung just a bit reminding him that the winter was just around the corner and that his pack would be preparing for the impending breeding season.
the couples would become less and less separate and more and more as one a bit of a bitter chuckle passing his lips as he thought about how the single ones of the group would feel the more animal like affect of the moons pull on them to mate and he would be one of them.
he would fight it again this year, as he had for the last two years.
Shaking the thought from his head he tried to focus on what had brought him out of his cozy bed to the window to think in the first place, the night terrors which he had been having non stop again were once again eating away at him.
while he was now able to hold back the need to run and cling to the nearest person he still needed the comfort he just hated being weak.
once the house had been built and finished he and a few others took the empty rooms at the far end of the house and he knew his and Peter and Isaac's rooms were the only ones taken and filled tonight. The others beds empty for unknown reasons that Stiles felt he didn't need nor care about.
His eyes dark and the bags under them dark as well were a sign his sleeping had been off again,. He had spells like this where he would go months perfectly fine with no nightmare at all and then suddenly he would wake up in a cold sweat covered in tears from the crying sometimes screaming out and shaking.
often times the sheets would be ripped and torn. The pack often times could tell when the beta was having a rough time due to his lack of banter and his utter tiredness and grouchy aspect of life but now a days with college work and Stiles working closely with the others to get the town protected from any threats and to keep everyone safe he was a bit touchy anyways.
The others tended to give him a bit of space, most of them teased him that he was acting like Derek, but Peter just said he was acting like a good second in command to Scott and Derek's alpha command.
Stiles thanked Peter in the nicest sarcastic comeback he could master up with out being to nice, but the pack did notice. Stiles sighed out as he shook his head the moon pulling at his wolf begging it to come out.
begging it to let out it's needs and wants. Stiles gave a small grumble like growl as he tutted at his inner wolf who growled back inside his own head pawing around at the back of his mind.
He would not repeat NOT give in to what that fuzzy lanky bastard wanted.
he wanted what he couldn't have and he was not going to shove himself and his problems on anyone else. His wolf should just give up and settle down, that bastard was always causing him problems.
just like when they had pack nights and his inner wolf wanted to always curl up next to Peter and sleep, twice he had woken up naked and wrapped around the other male. It had not been so awkward until Erica had taken pictures and shown his father. He didn't drool on Peter he swears.
Stiles slid off the window seat and rubbed his face furiously walking towards his bed room door unlocking it and slowly stepping out he sniffed taking in deep breaths to gather who he could smell in the hall if anyone had passed along the hall lately.
listening closely, he heard Steady heart beats of a few sleeping wolves and humans in the house, he could tell Peter was awake and he heard that Isaac's heart was racing and sounded like he was having a bad dream, knowing that he would be awake soon he headed down to the kitchen.
In just his bat man sleep shirt and a pair of matching bat man pj pants he started making a pot of coffee his shaggy hair stuck up in odd directions as he worked on the brew and he waited for the curly haired blonde to peek into the kitchen.
Isaac slid into the kitchen and took the mug Stiles held out with out any words his face looked rough like he had woken up much like Stiles had, the two shared the nightmares problem but never discussed the things happening in the dreams. Sitting across from him.
Isaac glanced up at Stiles and that's all it took he nodded Stiles was out of his seat and moved over to the other wolf nuzzling against his face and neck scenting him and comforting him a bit jumping slightly as they heard thunder boom from out side.
“Do you need my room?” Stiles asked softly as he pulled away from the other once Isaac had made sure that Stiles held his scent properly as any pack member should.
“No I'm gunna be fine, I've got work soon, so I'm gunna go ahead and go shower and leave I have to get there before the clinic opens and take care of the animals. get it clean before clients get there,” was his reply. Stiles felt a slight ache in his chest.
no he couldn't force his need for comfort on the young wolf who had priorities he gave him a slight nudge and made a snippy comment about brushing his mess of hair before he headed back to his room his coffee in hand.
once in his room safely he downed the hot burning darkness in a few tortuously hot gulps and he curled up in his bed shaking with the fear of going back to sleep in his utter terror at the thought of having to face the demons of his dreams once more.
He took deep breaths as he curled around himself if he closed his eyes he could still hear the sound of the swords scraping against the flesh of the people as the uni killed the victims. NO he refused to go down that path.
Stiles started to shake as he wrapped his arms around himself this was not what he was worth he had done this to himself he had killed innocent people and it haunted his dreams to think about it, his wolf snarled to be let lose and to protect him.
Stiles fought back he told the beast no that he would be fine he tried to leash the large howling creature back. Shivering as he rubbed his face the cold night air slipping into the room shot him out of his own mind and he glanced at the door if he listened just right he could hear them coming down the hall.
Stiles took a deep gasp of air, he didn't want this. He needed someone to come here to sit with him. He needed someone to take care of him to tell him he was not losing his mind to just hold him close to remind him that the whole ordeal with the kitsune was over.
That void was never coming back.
suddenly he did hear someone coming down the hall and he did hear the beating of a heart. The door slipped open. “Move,” was all the was said before he scooted over on his bed and someone was slipping into the bed beside him.
Sweat soaked a bit and damp Stiles curled up around Peter as the other male slid into the bed beside him in a lose fitted t shirt and a pair of sweat pants pulling the covers back around them.
“I could hear you all night why didn't you come get me earlier pup?” Peter asked softly as his blue eyes scanned the others face his fingers combing back the strands of hair stuck to Stiles face.
“I hear them,” was the only answer he received as Stiles rocked a bit gulping back his own spit which left a sour taste in his mouth. Peter took a slow steady breath. “Stiles they are not here, it's fine it's just us just the pack,” he whispered out softly.
Stiles took in the sound of Peter's heart the way it didn't slip a beat the scent of him, the way he caressed his hair. Peter would stay here in this moment with Stiles if anything were to happen.
“Stay?” he asked softly a bit muffled. “I don't want to force my demons on you when you have your own to live with,” Stiles explained as he sat up some running a hand through his wild hair.
Peter could have smacked Stiles if not for the fact he could tell the younger wolf was indeed beating himself up over the fact he had pulled the older wolf from his room.
Peter shook his head rolling his eyes as he licked over his lips. “Stiles, my demons are my problem. You need to share yours with someone and I'm willing to be that someone...watching you struggle....hearing it I suppose from rooms away is the hardest thing to do to someone,”
Stiles bit his lip sighing out as he gave a nod and he tucked his chin against Peter's chest snuggling up to him as he sighed out. “I'm not the one you think I am Peter...I...I enjoyed the way I hurt those people,” Stiles whispered out brokenly.
Hands stroking the dark brown locks of hair Peter tutted at Stiles words. “Stiles, have you met me. You enjoying it doesn't taint you for me. I'm not Saint McCall and my nephew. Frankly Stiles I'd be shocked if you hadn't enjoyed it because of everything but you have to see that you are left just a bit darker now,”
Stiles hummed in a bit of a agreement, he was different now. He was always less likely now to vote on letting the bad guys live. Now he tended to fight with a more vengeful claw then if he hadn't been tainted by the darkness. Peter had been the one to train Stiles. He said it was best that Scott not try to.
“Peter, why did you bite me and train me and not Scott or Derek?” Stiles whispered out as he bit his lip and he shivered as he felt his inner wolf growl at questioning the alpha at such things.
“Because, Scott might be the all powerful alpha but he isn't what you needed. You needed someone who had been touched by as much darkness as you had,” Peter mumbled tracing his fingers along Stiles back.
Stiles nodded sighing out comfortably as he curled up more in the embrace and he closed his eyes. “Alpha,” he whispered out as he shifted in his arms. “Stay?” he questioned looking up at the man who held him close to him. “I'm staying Stiles and I'll stay for as long as you really need me to,” he whispered out as he leaned down pecking the others lips softly.
Stiles blushed wrinkling his nose some as he raised a eye brow. “Not as fucked up as I pictured it to be...but I like it,” Stiles mumbled as he curled up on him. Peter let out a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around the younger male. “What did you expect us covered in blood spur of the moment during battle?”
when Stiles didn't reply Peter raised a eye brow and Stiles shrugged. “It was a bit more bam boom like showy like you are,” he mumbled shrugging. Peter rolled his eyes as he just covered them with the blanket and felt the cool night breeze blow towards them from the window, mating season would be here soon. He wondered if Stiles would finally join him this year.