Chapter Text
The warm beginning of a night in October, with the promise of cold currents in the air that could carry his wings up to the stars. The last night of October, the night before All Souls' Day, known in modern times as Halloween. The only night of the year when the gargoyles could walk among humans without causing a stir.
The clan had been excited for days—they had had Fox tailor matching costumes for them. Lexington as the Tin Man from a book called "The Wizard of Oz" had even elicited a smile from Goliath after he got over the initial shock—Puck's grim vision of the future with a despotic cyborg Lexington still haunted him in his dreams. But Goliath was determined to ensure that this version of the future remained nothing more than the perfidious fantasy of a Fae who wanted to drive him mad.
Broadway as a gentle lion was just as fitting—loyal, deeply devoted. Goliath thought he remembered that the lion in the original was a coward, but Angela and Broadway had explained at length to him two nights earlier why their version was so much better.
Angela as the girl who traveled to a distant world through no fault of her own and found new friends there because of her kindness was so obviously loving that Goliath was willing to believe Fox's peace offering for Halloween was genuine. Of course, he planned to keep a permanent eye on the younger gargoyles, just in case.
After all, Halloween was also predestined for exciting times.
Goliath fondly remembered the first Halloween he had spent openly on the streets with Elisa —she in a yellow ball gown that would have been at least as sensational at court a thousand years ago as it was in modern times.
It had also been the night Fox had received the Eye of Odin, and instead of a nice evening together, they had spent the night hunting the brown wer-monster that the eye had turned Fox into. They had managed to stop it before Fox or anyone else was seriously hurt.
The voices of the younger gargoyles reached him as they made their way to the castle, already excitedly discussing the coming night. With a smile and the warm feeling of a good clan, he watched the other gargoyles disappear through the wooden door.
But he wasn't alone either.
In joyful anticipation, Goliath turned to Elisa, but his smile faded when he saw the expression on her face.
"We need to talk," she greeted him with unusual reserve. "About us."
The sudden chill in Goliath did not come from the freshening wind that carried the scent of Jason Canmore to him. The injured former quarryman was still in the hospital, visited regularly by Elisa.
She had been with him again today.
Goliath sighed, pushing aside the sharp pang of inadequacy he felt. Surely the former squarryman had nothing to do with this encounter.
"Elisa," Goliath gently lifted Elisa's chin, asking her to at least look at him. Her scent calmed his fluttering nerves, enveloping him in a sense of home. They had kept their distance during the last few nights, Elisa had repeatedly excused herself with help from Burnett – of all people, the Fae – blaming her absence on work and stress. Yet it had been so obvious that something was weighing on her. She had repeatedly postponed moving into the castle, wanting to talk to him first, but never giving them the opportunity to do so. Maybe now?
"I know you have been reluctant to have this conversation..." Goliath began, wanting to make it as easy as possible for her.
"Because I didn’t want to hurt you."
He hadn't expected that answer. He let go of her and instinctively took a step back. "But our feelings for each other..."
"Are not enough." She wandered over to the wall parapet and sat down on the cold stones. Her hair blew in the updrafts—despite everything, she trusted that he would catch her if she fell. And of course he would. Why wouldn't he? How could she still doubt after everything they had been through? He was hers, she knew that. They were mates.
Elisa's next words were almost lost in the rush of Goliath's racing thoughts, but when he realized what she was saying, they burned themselves into his mind, carved into his innermost being, unforgettable until the wind carried his ashes away.
"My life as a cop... as a gargoyle-loving cop... I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, but—"
Goliath's breath caught, the looming shadow of another loss, the unbearable pain of a broken promise of eternity together.
"I want... I need... balance, normalcy. Not now. Maybe not even soon. But one day I want a house, a yard. Picnics on Sunday afternoons."
Goliath's skin tingled, he wanted to interrupt her, just hold her in his arms, hear no more words. But he was frozen, turned to stone in the middle of the night.
"Goliath, I want children."
But there are children in the clan who need you, screamed Goliath's mind. They are all your children, you are part of the clan. Except that humans didn't see it that way. For them, only biology and genetics mattered.
"I want things I can't have with you."
Goliath had to turn away, covering his face, the pain inside him too great. Soon the physical pain of a broken connection would outshine the emotional torment, but right now he had to force his mind to process her words. He wanted so badly to withdraw, to hear none of her words, but he was the leader—he had to face everything.
"Why?" he croaked. "While Avalon sent us away, far from the clan and the children, when I talked about the responsibilities of adults, when you described your role in the clan..."
Elisa slumped down on the stone wall, clearly unhappy but firm in her opinion. "Try to understand..."
Goliath closed his eyes in resignation, pushing away the memory of long nights in the boat while Angela and Bronx dove for fish. When his future seemed so happy, a closeness between them that none of Avalon's missions could break. "I do understand" he whispered, the tip of his tail wrapped around his ankles, searching for support. "You don't want a mate. You want a husband." Something human.
Disgust colored his voice as he uttered the name of the human equivalent of a gargoyle's life partner. For him, these concepts had been equivalent, as they had long discussed and deliberated and planned how to combine Elisa's work, his strictly nocturnal life, and her humanity. How he could give her the freedom she so desperately needed and longed for, how she could give him the closeness he enjoyed as a gargoyle. After their first real kiss, just before sunrise, back then on this very tower, he had fallen into stone sleep with a smile—with the certainty that their love could break down their differences.
He had been wrong.
"We have to break up. Move on. See other people," Elisa continued.
Goliath repeated her words, unable to believe what she was saying. She knew that gargoyles didn't "break up." Not voluntarily,
"I realize your options are limited..."
Elisa's words flooded Goliath, burning themselves into his brain. She couldn't be suggesting...?
"Limited?" he hissed, his entire body primed for flight. He would never fight Elisa. Not even now. His claws dug into the parapet, the stones cool and smooth against his skin. There were only three female gargoyles in Manhattan. Maggie from the Labyrinth Clan was already bonded to Talon, leaving Angela and Demona, neither of whom could be meant for obvious reasons, and...
"You know who I’m talking about."
Elisa's whispered words were almost lost in the noise in Goliath's mind as his instincts flooded him. He roared into the night, his wings spread. Aimless fighting rage inside him.
Goliath slammed his fists against the railing. Small splinters flew as the stone broke. He spun around to Elisa, glad for the distance between them.
"Delilah?" he growled, just to be sure.
She nodded, and the fighting rage inside Goliath died into a cold lump as everything became clear to him. She hadn't understood anything. He hadn't understood anything. They had spent so much time with false assumptions and hopes. He had lied to himself and the pitiful remnants of his clan for long enough.
"What am I to you, Elisa?" Goliath asked icily, pressing his claws into his palms. He needed the pain of the claws to keep from breaking down. "What are we all to you? Just monsters, irrational animals? Delilah is a child, Elisa. She is your child and mine, created without our consent or hers. She is a child of the clan. Not an object to be exchanged at will... Not a brood mare."
Goliath felt sick as he truly realized what Elisa had suggested. "Her and the other clones, the Labyrinth Clan... what are they to you?"
Elisa seemed uncomfortable, her hands raised defensively. "You've got it all wrong, Goliath. I just thought..."
"You just thought that if a hound can't have a bitch, he'll just take the next one," he whispered softly, his voice breaking. He backed away as she approached him, stopped only by the stone wall behind him, glad for the support. "You haven't even looked at her since she's been in the labyrinth. She asks about you every time she visits, wants to get to know the clan. You know nothing about her except that she's a female gargoyle and therefore good enough for me."
Elisa turned pale, opened her mouth to protest, but Goliath couldn't stop.
"No," Goliath interrupted her, one hand pressed against his stomach as he fought the stomach acid. "I don't need any of your excuses, your explanations. To humans, we are interchangeable, one gargoyle as good as another, only useful when we protect them, and even then they are ruled by fear."
Goliath ran his claw across his face, struggling to maintain control. For a gargoyle, his horror, his grief, his disgust would have been unmistakable... Elisa protested loudly, hiding her shame at his statements behind anger and defiance.
She flinched when he took a step toward her, abruptly falling silent.
Goliath resignedly lowered his wings. He memorized her figure, let go of the feelings she had triggered in him for so long, and accepted his failure. Now it was time to protect the clan.
"I really thought it would be different with you."
He jumped onto the edge of the tower, his wings instinctively catching the wind. He looked over his shoulder at her as she stared at him with a tense, expressionless face, her hands clenched into fists. "Farewell, Ms. Maza. Enjoy Halloween," he growled and jumped to the ground.
In two leaps, he was at the wooden door of the Great Hall.
He intercepted Owen Burnett by the fireplace. "Elisa Maza is no longer welcome in the castle," Goliath growled, and fortunately Burnett made no comment other than raising an eyebrow in surprise. Goliath couldn't have guaranteed for anything.
The excited voices of the clan children reached his ears as they tried on their costumes for tonight's party with Fox. They were good gargoyles.
They deserved better than the fleeting heart of a human who, like so many of his kind, understood only her own nature.
He deserved better.