Chapter Text
“hi… I’m Isoda Mion,” I whisper to the silence of my room, the weight of my own thoughts pressing down on me like a heavy blanket. “I’m a mistake.”
I can’t bring myself to peel my body off the sheets, even if part of me knows that I should. would I want to? not really. nobody wants to face the day, right? not when there's this gnawing pit in my stomach, twisting and turning like a delicate little knot because I skipped another lecture of one of my absolute favorite classes—thank you very much, motivation—or the lack thereof. I’m just here, cocooned in this fabric fortress, doing nothing but existing in that eerie space between awake and asleep. I haven’t showered, brushed my teeth, or even thought about food or water, and here I am, flipping my insides out like a lined notebook.
the depression that first knocked on my door when I was fifteen is back, a more relentless visitor this time. I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, a solid future ahead of me, so what made me tumble over the edge yet again? Overwhelming stress? the suffocating worry of fading away into irrelevance? probably that—
the soft ping of my phone breaks the silence, slicing through the fog of my thoughts.
shingo <3: Mion, where are you?
it takes me a moment to process the text, like wading through thick fog. Why is someone actually messaging me? sure, no one cares… except for him, I guess?
You: I’m in bed wha
shingo <3: why aren’t you in class? I thought you loved songwriting???
You: I do i jst didn’t wanna go hop off
shingo <3: well, I’m coming over and getting you tf out of bed.
You: nooooooo pls don’t y are u leaving class to drag me that’s embarrassing asf
shingo <3: idc I’ll be there in 10 minutes.
ugh, why does he have to care?
“why is he so obsessed with me not suffering?” I grumble to myself, the small cuts that lace my arms stinging as I finally sit up, reaching for the hairbrush that's been collecting dust on my nightstand. I pull it through my tangled hair way more times than I should—it’s probably been three days since I last did this, maybe more.
I slip on a grey jacket that feels oddly comforting and stand for what feels like the first time in ages. Shuffling into the bathroom, I splash some water on my face to wake myself up a little, then grab my toothbrush.
The crispness of my clean skin makes everything feel a bit lighter, as I run the toothbrush under the water for a solid three seconds—because who has time to count? I squeeze a blob of toothpaste onto the bristles and dive into the overzealous scrubbing routine my teeth have desperately needed. I’m especially fierce about my tongue; if Hirose is coming over, there’s no way I’m letting him catch me with bad breath—absolutely not.
“Mionnn!!!”
The door to my dorm swings open like a scene from a cartoon, and I nearly jump out of my skin because how did I forget that he has a key to my own DORM?
“what the fu—k!!” I yelp, brushing the short strands of red hair from my eyes in a flurry, still processing the sudden invasion.
“Are you okay? Are you sick? Why weren’t you in class?!” Shingo rushes over, a barrage of questions hitting me like little pebbles bouncing off a brick wall, cradling my cold face in his hands, his fingers threading through my hair like it’s the most delicate thing in the world.
“I’m fine, I’m fine, really...” I stammer, heat rising to my cheeks at the narrow gap between our faces, just shy of touching. I can practically feel every breath he takes, those dark grey eyes swirling with adorable concern as I watch the realization of what he just barged into unfold in his expression.
“shingo...”
“I just needed a break,” I finally managed to whisper, my voice barely audible, like a secret carried away by the wind. “I... I couldn't face class today.”
His expression softened, a gentle understanding washing over his features. Without saying anything, he pulled me into a tight hug, his warmth wrapping around me like a cozy blanket against the chill of the world outside.
In that moment, I felt safe, cherished, as if maybe everything would be okay after all, like a comforting thought that sways in the quiet of a late afternoon. “hmm?”
“shingo... just hold me for a sec,” I whisper, sinking into his warmth.
“gotcha, Mion,” he murmurs, his voice low and calming.
With his arms wrapped around me, it feels like everything bad just... drifts away, even if it’s just for a moment. Like a heavy fog lifting, letting in the light.
"you don’t have to pretend here, you know,” he says, brushing my hair back. “it’s okay to feel... whatever you’re feeling.”
His words sink in, soft and easy, like the gentle waves of a lazy ocean tide. It’s a kindness I didn’t know I needed until now, the kind you sometimes don’t even realize is missing.
Standing like this, wrapped in each other, it’s like we're walking a fine line between just being friends and maybe... something more.
“i’m really glad you’re with me, you know?” I mumble, voice almost a whisper, just above the hush of the night. “you always... know exactly what to say.”
He pulls back a little, his hands steady on my shoulders, searching my eyes with that sweet look that sends my heart racing. “Mion, I care about you, like, a lot. More than you think.”
It feels like the air thickens, those words hanging between us, heavy with all the unsaid things. The tension tightens, a fragile string that could either snap or pull us in closer.
“mhm?”
“Mion…” Hirose’s voice was soft, yet it packed a punch that sent a thrill down my spine.
“w-what?” I managed to stutter, heart racing a little, trying to soak in his words and figure out what they really meant.
“nhm?”
“just follow my lead,” Hirose murmurs softly, his hand gently guiding me through the slow dance steps. I can’t shake this odd feeling blooming in my head.
His touch is warm, like a soothing blanket of sunshine, calming my chaotic thoughts as we sway together, perfectly in sync. The music wraps around us like a cozy hug, the weight of his hand resting on my waist, our fingers intertwined.
“So, have you listened to that new band I recommended?” His voice cuts through the quiet, smooth and easy.
I let out a soft laugh, feeling that familiar flutter in my chest. “Yeah, I did! They actually turned out to be pretty good. Thanks for the suggestion.”
We keep dancing, everything flowing effortlessly between us—talking about random bits of life, movies, and those silly stories from childhood that make us both chuckle. It’s like a gentle tide, pulling us into a rhythm of shared laughter and comforting silences.
As the melody continues to play, I find myself opening up to Hirose in ways I haven’t with anyone else. I share how songwriting used to be my lifeline, but now it feels like I’m searching for lost words in a dark room. He listens, his gaze full of that perfect mix of understanding and empathy, like a lighthouse in my foggy mind.
“You know, Isoda, it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Creativity ebbs and flows, but it always finds its way back to you,” he says, his words wrapping around me like a warm embrace, soothing that restless ache inside.
I nod, my heart swelling with gratitude. It’s in moments like this, just the two of us weaving through a dimly lit room, that my walls feel a little less solid, like they’re crumbling more with every gentle sway.
As the song drifts to its end, we stop moving but stay tangled in each other's arms, a comfortable silence settling around us, heavy with all those unspoken feelings. Hirose’s gaze meets mine, and I catch a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that feels achingly familiar.
“Isoda, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he starts, his voice carrying that slight tremor of nervousness that makes my heart skip, like the flutter of a startled bird.
“nino?”
the door creaked open and there he was, our roommate, Yohei—though I always called him Nino. he froze in the doorway, a sly smile tipping at the corners of his mouth as he caught us in this moment that felt like it was frozen forever.
our noses were practically touching, tiny, shy smiles spreading onto our faces, a silent understanding hanging in the air like an unfinished thought.
“uh… awkward much?” I mumbled, trying to break the spell, but it was kind of nice being caught like this.
.☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
TBC