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It’s a clear night and the chill in the air is easily staved off by heat from the campfire. Wolfwood has helped to settle all the children down inside for the night despite how excited they still are to have himself and Livio back, alongside a new adult to torment.
He spots Vash tucked into his jacket staring out across the landscape, looking for any sign of the motorbike making it’s return journey.
“Hey Spikes. Want to come inside yet? You need to rest up too”.
Vash doesn’t answer him directly, he just shakes his head gently without stopping scanning the horizon.
Fine then, Wolfwood thinks, two can play at this game. He walks over, thankfully minus any crutches, and plops himself down next to Vash.
The fire is hardly roaring at this point but the warmth seeps into Nicholas’ bones almost straight away. He’s been cold the last few days and isn’t sure if it’s a result of the blood loss he suffered or a new permanent thing for his body.
Focusing on the fire he almost misses the soft look Vash gives him from the corner of his eyes. Those damn glasses hide so much but Wolfwood knows he’s guilty of the same thing. They sit in amicable silence until the moons are high in the sky.
“Thanks for before Needlenoggin,” Wolfwood says, breaking the quiet. “The kids really ate up your blank ticket speech, it's a nice idea.”
Vash adjusts his position and leans back with both his arms behind, propping him up.
“It wasn’t just words Wolfwood. It’s what Rem used to tell us and I believe it. We all have a blank ticket, even you."
Nicholas can pretend the blush that spreads across his face at that has been caused by the heat of the fire.
“Ah, I wasn’t meaning to come off all dismissive Spikey.”
Vash turns and looks at him. He doesn’t say anything else but it’s like Wolfwood can see straight through the reflective tint of his glasses and catches the open invitation to explain himself.
Wolfwood stares ahead straight into the flames and thinks carefully. For the first time in his life he can actually believe that he could have a future but just the thought of that has been causing his chest to get all tight in a way he doesn’t understand.
“Firstly, I want to make it clear if we all have blank tickets then you do.” Vash opens his mouth and Wolfwood quickly cuts him off. “Whatever you’re going to say, can it. I know you think Knives is your problem to deal with on your own but he isn’t. If we’re going to stop him, we’ll only manage it if we do it together.
A soft and fond “Wolfwood” escapes Vash’s mouth.
“And secondly. A blank ticket Blondie? That’s scary! I’ve never had to think about what I could do, what I want to do... And that’s absolutely fuckin’ terrifying. You can’t drop that on a bunch’a kids. Or me...”
He’s been too focused on getting his words out to notice Vash has scooted across the sand and jumps as Vash’s hand gently covers his.
“It’s exciting too though.” Vash’s thumb is running gently over his hand. “And it doesn’t have to be some big grand plan, it’s about knowing you can have hope for your future.”
But that’s the thing. Wolfwood’s life has never been his own to choose. Before, during and after the orphanage had all been dictated for him down to what he did and what food he ate. Even now he’s sat in clothes provided by the Eye of Michael.
His mouth is dry when he speaks again. “What if someone doesn’t know what they want?”
He’d kill for a cigarette but a disapproving stare from Miss Melanie had him tossing the pack away. He’s out of lollipops too, used as currency with the kids.
“Then they try and figure it out, Wolfwood. Try new things, explore all the possibilities they can.”
It’s too much for Wolfwood. Too big and it pushes on all the doors in his head that’ve been locked for as long he remembers. All the children have been talking about what they want to be when they grow up since this afternoon and the topic dominated bedtime as well. Wolfwood can’t remember if he ever wanted to be anything, he’s fairly certain he’s never had a dream that didn’t involve protecting the orphanage. Is that even a dream really? It’s been his responsibility, his burden. Fuck, he’s never had a dream...
Oh, that feels bad inside. This is what he means, it’s better to not think about shit like this when there’s no telling if the world will end or not in the upcoming days. Nicholas pulls his hand out of Vash’s loose grip to wrap his arms around himself. He feels colder again even next to the fire. Vash’s posture sags down and both men return to staring at the fire but silence isn’t comfortable this time.
Shit, this wasn’t what he wanted. Vash has enough on his plate right now without getting in his own head that he’s made him upset. He hasn’t either, maybe finding a dream can be his dream for now. He turns his full body towards Vash.
“What about you Spikey? What do you want to cash in your blank ticket on?”
The silence carries on for a few beats like Vash is pretending to have not heard him but before Wolfwood has a chance to shrink back towards the fire Vash speaks.
“A cat. I’ve always wanted a cat,” he says.
A barking laugh erupts from Wolfwood’s chest and Vash jolts shock. “God Needles, yer full of surprises.” The laugh isn’t cruel, it’s born from genuine surprise. “Go on, tell me about what kinda cat you want”.
That soft smile is back, tugging at the corners of Vash’s mouth. “I’ve just always liked cats. They’re so soft and warm to pet and it feels like they’ve picked you specifically when they wander up from a scratch. When they jump up onto your lap, they must feel so safe to do that. I like that. There's no space or resources for pets at Home, plus I'm not ever around for long."
Nicholas takes a big breath in.
“Well that’s settled then, we’ll get a cat for the orphanage. It’ll hafta be a working animal though. Miss Melanie won’t put up with a freeloader that won’t keep mice out”. He’s not took his eyes off Vash who has started to look a bit soggy in the face.
“That said, if it’s you picking the cat it’ll probably make friends with all the mice and look after them”.
Wolfwood throws up his arms in mock exasperation. The laugh he gets from Vash is like sunshine and he beams back at him.
“Plus then you’ll have to come back to visit the kids. You’ve seen how they are, they won’t forget you.”
“And you? Will I be visiting you too?” Vash asks tentatively.
Huh, no he’ll be with Vash wherever he wants to go after this and visiting the orphanage with him. He’s not letting the man out of his sight again. Oh, that’s new...
“You idiot, who’s do you think is going to keep you out of trouble whilst you do what you want to do next?”
He means it too, there isn’t an image of what comes next that flashes through his head that Vash isn’t in. The last battle has clearly knocked some feelings loose along with everything else.
“And if you want to stay put for a while we’ll fix up one of the buildings out back , plus then we’ll have a base to come back to here.
I’m not leaving you ever again.”
The words have flowed from his mouth and he couldn’t have stopped them if he wanted to
He steels himself to look up at Vash. He can take being shot down, literally and metaphorically...
He shouldn’t have worried. There’s tears in Vash’s eyes and a wobbly smile plastered on his face. Before he can respond Vash has launched himself at Wolfwood. Knocking him back into the sand and has his arms locked around him.
“I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t opened your eyes again.”
One of Vash’s hands comes up to his face and strokes gently through his newly silvered hair.
“I heard you call out and thought I was too late by the time I arrived”. Wolfwood can barely hear Vash now because his head is smashed into Wolfwood’s shoulder. Heavy tears leaking through his thin shirt.
“Even when you got up I could hear your heartbeat stalling, failing," he sobs out. “I thought that you were going to leave me.”
No, he won’t leave Vash. He never wants to scare him like this again. Tears gather at the corners of Nicholas’ eyes as he presses his lips to the crown of Vash’s head.
“I know neither of us can promise anythin’ so I’ll make this much clear. I don’t want to leave you and if I do have a blank ticket you’re coming along with me for my journey and me on yours.”
He adjusts them both so they’re in more of a laid down hug position rather than crashed together from Vash’s tackle.
"We’ll look after each other from now on Angel. How does that sound?”
Vash is still sobbing but Wolfwood can see that he can’t stop smiling as well. He was right that the idea of a blank ticket is scary but with Vash by his side he’s determined to make the most of it for the both of them.