Chapter Text
It's too hot and he's tired. Tired of all the secrets he's had to keep and all the things he never said. He grips his saber hilt and counterattacks, defends himself. There's this bond between them that makes everything feel more like a dance, like something they've rehearsed before. If he closes his eyes and ignores the heat, he can perfectly imagine they're practicing in the fields of Naboo, in the palace salon, anywhere else, any other time. Even with Anakin's dark presence, he can't help but align with him. He can't stand it.
I failed you.
He thinks it too late. He doesn't realize he's said the words aloud until Anakin's technique shifts to something much more aggressive. There's pain in his movements but no regret. Lava surrounds them both, fire floods the entire place. He regrets enough for both of them. He regrets something—the moment this became inevitable. Maybe it was when he stepped on the sandy ground of Tatooine. Or when he looked through his robes at that bright, confused child.
Forgive me, he wants to say. There's a pressure in his chest, the feeling that something has been taken from him, something precious, something loved. He doesn't want to keep doing this. He must. But he can't. He dodges the last strike and steps back.
He thinks about what this will mean for the Jedi, for his family, for the future of his world that's already crumbling. Maybe he's crying but he doesn't know it. He's stopped attacking. He feels Anakin's confusion but it doesn't last. His eyes are yellow. He knows it even if he resists looking at them.
Look at me, Obi-Wan. His voice is dark. An order.
He lowers his lightsaber and falls to his knees. He won't look at him. Maybe in another world he could have found the strength to fight, to finish what he started. Not this one.
LOOK AT ME!
If only he could fix this. If only he could do something, say the right thing. He's always known what to say. The words won't come. And the thundering sensation of the Force makes him open his eyes.
I loved you.
He's never wanted something so badly.
Anakin's hand is on his throat. He can feel his own heartbeat. He's dropped his saber and Anakin is looking at him with all the hatred in the world. The words only seem to ignite his eyes further.
This isn't Jedi, but he can't keep looking at that face, those eyes, and keep believing he deserves to live.
Anakin seems about to say something. His grip wavers, just for a second. He takes that moment to grab his deactivated saber and press it to his own throat.
I want to fix this. I want to save him. Please.
He only hears the sound of burning skin before he dies.
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He always believed that when he returned to the Force, he would feel peace. No emotions. No longing. He can't understand why his eyes hurt so much, why he feels like he's been crying. He thinks he should feel communion and harmony, but his head just hurts.
**Activation code. I wanna fix-it. The System activates automatically. A robotic voice, like an assistant droid, echoes in his ear.
What? This doesn't feel like returning to the life force of the universe.
**Welcome to the System, the Force's user-friendly interface. This System has been activated by your will. It is our sincere desire that you may fix what you wish. One more chance, user.**
He feels dizzy. He can't open his eyes even though he wants to. He feels confused and heavy. The heat he "feels" on his face is still present.
*Will?* Him? He basically buried his own saber in his throat. He doesn't know what "will" the System is talking about. Before he can ask the robotic voice, or even himself, an external voice pulls him from the darkness.
Master! Master!
He would recognize that voice anywhere, even if he hadn't heard it in over a decade.
Are you okay?
When he opens his eyes, things are blurry at the edges. But he recognizes the place. The smell. The feel of the rough blankets. It's his room on Coruscant. It's his home.
More knocks at his door. Someone knocks impatiently.
Master? We're going to be late for training!
His head really, really hurts.
Coming!
His voice sounds strange. He feels strange in himself. He needs answers, or at least to be able to ask questions.
*System?* He feels embarrassed calling the robotic voice. He hesitates. Did he dream everything? Hallucinate it? A vision? Is he going crazy?
**Hello, User. Final missions and events are still downloading.**
Where am I? What am I doing here? What are you?
He can almost feel... frustration? From the System. It would make him laugh if he didn't feel horrible and wasn't on the verge of a panic attack.
**You are on Coruscant, 30 BBY. You are here to do what your will desired. I am the Force's user-friendly interface.**
Obi-Wan wants to die (again) but it seems too soon. He's 25 years old??? That means the boy who stopped knocking on his door is 11.
He brings his hand to his face, hoping to stroke his beard and meditate. There is no beard yet. He feels like he should stay in bed until a thousand years have passed.
The System's voice interrupts again.
**System 100% functional. Main Mission: Fix it.**
He's definitely gone crazy. A hideous interface appears before his eyes.
**EVENTS:**
**Ahsoka's Expulsion: 100% - Estimated time: 5 years**
**Goodbye, Arm: 100% - Estimated time: 8 years**
**Tatooine Sadness: 30% - Estimated time: ???**
**Mustafar Duel: ?? - Time: ?**
**CLASSIFIED EVENT**
**CLASSIFIED EVENT**
There's a barely visible X in the most inconvenient place on the screen. The interface closes.
Force. This is... horrible.
He hears another knock. Much shyer.
Sorry! He hurries to open the door even though he really doesn't want to see what's behind it.
Master!
It's Anakin. Blond hair. Blue eyes. He looks indignant, but the annoyance is quickly replaced by concern.
You look bad, Master.
Obi-Wan doesn't know how much time has passed, but it seems excessive (and at the same time, not) to start crying again. Maybe he's tearing up a little. (He can always say he has a cold.)
I... I... The words won't come out of his throat. He stands frozen, almost expecting the vision before him to disappear and be replaced by the dark man he saw before dying.
Sorry, Anakin. I don't really feel well. He actually feels like he's going to be sick.
Hearing his name, the boy shifts with some discomfort. It alerts him. Did he call him by his name before? He can't remember.
It's okay, Master. Do you need anything? I can make you tea! Or get cookies! Or take you to the healers!
Obi-Wan is scared by all of this. Maybe it's the last visions of his dying mind. Something like that. He doesn't think about it much. He hugs this small boy like his life depends on it.
**SYSTEM: Penalty for out-of-character behavior. Out-of-character actions can only be unlocked after the tutorial mission.**
**SYSTEM: -100 skill points. +10 Anakin trust points.**
WHAT??
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