Chapter Text
10/03
Hikaru: how is Tokyo treating ya
Hikaru: how many friends do ya have already
Hikaru: r the girls hotter
Yoshiki: no
Hikaru: c’mon
Hikaru: wait, to which one
Hikaru: girls or friends
Yoshiki: both
Hikaru: >:-[
Hikaru: at least there is a lot of manga shops around
Yoshiki: I’ll send you some
Hikaru: aye
Hikaru: make it a surprise
Hikaru: and find me a hot girlfriend
Yoshiki: can she be from manga too
Hikaru: yeah
10/09
Hikaru: classes sucks without you
Yoshiki: same
Hikaru: aye
Hikaru: can i visit you
Yoshiki: yeah
Hikaru: I’ll come during winter break if you wanna
Yoshiki: I’ll ask my mom
Hikaru: and I’ll ask mine
Hikaru: find some cool places
Hikaru: I want to ride the metro too
Hikaru: and eat some food
Hikaru: and go to love hotel
Yoshiki: not with me
Hikaru: obviously
Hikaru: why tho we could go to a funny one
Hikaru: i saw some with dinosaurs themes on the internet
Yoshiki: what
10/14
Yoshiki: i don’t think the move is helping Kaoru
Yoshiki: she went to her school for three days and ended up throwing up
Yoshiki: from nerves i think
Hikaru: oh no
Hikaru: that sucks a lot
Yoshiki: yeah, dad and mom are fighting over it again
Hikaru: i’m sorry man
Hikaru: i hope it will get better
Yoshiki: yeah
Yoshiki: mom seems happier tho
10/19
Hikaru: i hate walking home alone
Yoshiki: same
Hikaru: you are not even walking
Hikaru: you are in those fancy metros
Yoshiki: they are not fancy
Yoshiki: claustrophobic
Hikaru: awh
Hikaru: you live far away?
Yoshiki: like an hour walking
Hikaru: not so bad
Yoshiki: not too good either
Yoshiki: it, likes, takes even longer in Tokyo
Yoshiki: so I take metro anyway
Hikaru: >:-[ i would take it with you
Hikaru: that would help
Yoshiki: yeah
Yoshiki: It would
10/25
Hikaru: there is a new show i wanna watch with you
Yoshiki: which one
Hikaru: that one with magic girls
Yoshiki: since when you like those kind of shows
Hikaru: since today
Hikaru: Asako showed me it
Hikaru: let’s watch it through the voice chat together
Yoshiki: k
Yoshiki: now?
Hikaru: yeah
11/01
Hikaru: i miss you so much man
Yoshiki: me too
Hikaru: the village sucks without you
Yoshiki: move out to Tokyo
Hikaru: i’ll study hard and go to university there
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Hikaru: >:-[
Hikaru: I’ll find work
Hikaru: and we will move into a cheap small apartment with one room
Yoshiki: and do what
Hikaru: watch anime
Hikaru: eat watermelons
Yoshiki: i dunno if we will survive
Hikaru: and popsicles
11/09
Yoshiki: the schools are so modern
Yoshiki: it’s weird
Yoshiki: i miss small classes
Hikaru: awgh
Hikaru: but you probably have a lot of fun there too
Hikaru: got any new friends
Yoshiki: yeah
Yoshiki: some
Hikaru: see!!!! it’s not that bad then
Hikaru: but i’m still your best friend right >:-[
Yoshiki: of course
Hikaru added heart reaction
11/11
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: message was deleted
11/12
Hikaru: ??
Hikaru: I was sleeping
Hikaru: answer my calls
Hikaru: heyyy
Hikaru: what’s going on
11/13
Yoshiki: sorry
Yoshiki: I was supposed to send those to my mom
Hikaru: ????
Hikaru: why weren’t you answering my texts and calls
Yoshiki: busy
Hikaru: sureee
Hikaru: with your fancy Tokyo life
Yoshiki: and with hot girls
Hikaru added haha reaction
Hikaru: AGH!
Hikaru: find me one too
Yoshiki: they won’t fit in our one room apartment
Hikaru: they can live in another one
Yoshiki: we together and hot girls together?
Hikaru: yeah
Yoshiki: alright
Hikaru: but seriously, are you okay?
Yoshiki: yeah
11/17
Hikaru: so i can still come during winter break
Hikaru: right
Yoshiki: yes
Yoshiki: asked my mom
Yoshiki: she told okay but we need to act normal
Hikaru: what does that even mean
Yoshiki: dunno
Yoshiki: neighbours apparently told her we are really noisy
Yoshiki: I think it’s because they can hear mom and dad fighting
Hikaru: I'll be a good boy
Yoshiki: sure
Hikaru: so i’ll ask my mom
11/18
Hikaru: she said yes
Yoshiki: great
Hikaru: finally
Hikaru: I miss you so much
Hikaru: I'll give you the biggest hug ever
Hikaru: my best friend!!!
Yoshiki added heart reaction
11/21
Hikaru: is Tokyo colder
Yoshiki: no
Yoshiki: it’s a lot of warmer actually
Yoshiki: I think all those cars and electricity warm the city up
Hikaru: wow
Hikaru: maybe
Hikaru: I need to pack
Yoshiki: there are 3 weeks left
Hikaru: exactly
11/25
Hikaru: jezzz man
Yoshiki: what’s up
Hikaru: cold
Hikaru: lonely
Hikaru: that makes me evil
Yoshiki: you are not evil
Hikaru: feels evil
11/28
Hikaru: you are so quiet lately
Hikaru: everything okay?
11/30
Hikaru: don’t ghost me
Hikaru: >:-C
12/01
Yoshiki: sorry
Yoshiki: exams
Hikaru: sure
Hikaru: examssss
Yoshiki: i’m serious
Hikaru: you probably found yourself a hot girlfriend
Hikaru: and funny friends
Hikaru: and left me
Yoshiki: don’t be silly
Yoshiki: i was studying a lot
Hikaru: hm
Hikaru: how is it going at home
Yoshiki: the same
Hikaru: awgh
Hikaru: i’m sorry
Yoshiki: it’s okay
Yoshiki: I never actually believed that moving here would help them
Hikaru: yeah but you would be miserable with me and now you are miserable on your own
Yoshiki: i guess
Yoshiki: i miss you a lot
Hikaru: me too
12/05
Hikaru: what is better
Hikaru: old home or current home
Yoshiki: hm
Yoshiki: current one has AC
Hikaru: alright
Hikaru: shops in Tokyo vs here
Yoshiki: lol
Yoshiki: Tokyo
Hikaru: fair
Hikaru: current school vs old school
Yoshiki: old school had you
Yoshiki: and our friends
Hikaru: and me
Yoshiki: yeah
12/08
Yoshiki: when exactly do you want to come
Hikaru: 15?
Yoshiki: sure
Hikaru: it’s okay for me to stay that long right
Yoshiki: of course
Yoshiki: I’m excited
Hikaru: awgh
Hikaru: cute
Yoshiki: ew
Hikaru: you are cute
Yoshiki: ew ew
Hikaru: >:-[
12/09
Hikaru: everything seems so scary this time of the year
Hikaru: when I stare at the mountains I just wonder what is even going on there, when it’s cold snowy and dark
Yoshiki: probably ghosts
Hikaru: or demons
Hikaru: should we call a ghost squad
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Hikaru: I heard some kids from school want to go there to see who is the bravest and can stay there the longest
Yoshiki: don’t go with them
Yoshiki: it’s dangerous
Hikaru: yeah adults are always saying that, but why?
Yoshiki: probably a lot of wild animals
Hikaru: yeah
12/10
Hikaru: im so excited
Hikaru: I already want to go!!!
Yoshiki added a heart reaction
12/11
Hikaru: I’ll pack three shirts
Hikaru: you have a washing machine right
Yoshiki: yes??
Hikaru: well dunno houses in Tokyo are pretty small
Yoshiki: this one is okay
Hikaru: is there a space for a futon in your room
Yoshiki: uh
Yoshiki: maybe
Hikaru: ahhwhg
Hikaru: I’ll just sleep in your bed
Yoshiki: were will i sleep then
Hikaru: with me
Yoshiki: that’s weird
Hikaru: it’s not
Hikaru: and it’s cold
Yoshiki: you snore
Hikaru: and you grind your teeth
Yoshiki: no i don’t
Hikaru: you do >:-[
Yoshiki: then you are not sleeping with me
Hikaru: you told me no anywayyyy
Hikaru: i’ll go to love hotel
Hikaru: don’t ghost me
Hikaru: don’t get mad we will go together
Yoshiki: we are not going there
Hikaru: boooo boooo
12/13
Yoshiki: bought your ticket already?
Hikaru: yeah
Yoshiki added heart reaction
Hikaru: I’m so excited
Yoshiki: me too
Yoshiki: it’s been too long
Hikaru: i wish we could see each other every day again
12/14
Yoshiki: one more sleep and we will be together again
Yoshiki: like meet each other I mean
Yoshiki: are you already asleep
Yoshiki: good if you are
Yoshiki: text me
Yoshiki: i’ll be waiting with my mom at the train station
Yoshiki: sleep well
12/15
Yoshiki: is your phone dead?
Yoshiki: not surprised somehow
Yoshiki: well me and mom are going
Yoshiki: hey
Yoshiki: ?? are you there
Yoshiki: Hikaru?
Yoshiki: your train came
Yoshiki: where are you
Yoshiki: hey???
Yoshiki: we will wait for another 30 minutes
Yoshiki: and my mom will call yours
Yoshiki: is it a stupid prank
Yoshiki: Hikaru
Yoshiki: your mom is not answering
Yoshiki: we are going home
Yoshiki: where are you
Yoshiki: hey i’m worried
Yoshiki: don’t do this to me
Yoshiki: please answer
Yoshiki: is something wrong
Yoshiki: did something happened
Yoshiki: are you mad at me
Yoshiki: please please please don’t do this to me
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: please
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: please go home
Yoshiki: everyone is looking for you
Yoshiki: did you went into the mountains
Yoshiki: please come home
Yoshiki: please
Yoshiki: I’ll come back from Tokyo
Yoshiki: and stay with you if you come back
Yoshiki: please
12/16
Yoshiki: I tried to go but my mom stopped me
Yoshiki: Hikaru please
Yoshiki: I didn’t sleep at all just waiting for something
Yoshiki: hey
Yoshiki: you there
Yoshiki: please
Yoshiki: it’s not funny
Yoshiki: Hikaru
Yoshiki: Hikaru
Yoshiki: i’ll buy you all manga in Tokyo
12/17
Yoshiki: i really hope it’s not this
Yoshiki: please
Yoshiki: I never wanted to leave
Yoshiki: if i knew i wouldn’t
Yoshiki: i would stay there with you forever
Yoshiki: olease
Yoshiki: you can’t do this to me
Yoshiki: not you
12/18
Yoshiki: please come back to me
12/23
Hikaru: hey
12/24
Hikaru: hey I’m sorry
12/25
Hikaru: Yoshiki
12/26
Hikaru: hey
12/27
Hikaru: hey
12/28
Hikaru: hey
12/29
Hikaru: hey
12/30
Hikaru: hey
12/31
Hikaru: hey
01/01
Yoshiki: never do that again
Hikaru: i promise
Yoshiki: I’m glad you are okay
Hikaru: I am
Yoshiki: what happened?
Hikaru: it’s a long story
Yoshiki: I think I deserve to hear a long story now
Hikaru: I’ll call
Yoshiki: k
Hikaru: now?
Yoshiki: yeah
Hikaru: it’s middle of the night
Yoshiki: just call
01/02
Hikaru: they are not allowing any visitors i’m so bored
Hikaru: sent me some videos
Yoshiki: of what
Hikaru: of Tokyo and you in Tokyo
Yoshiki: okay
Hikaru: the hospital is so cold too
Yoshiki: tell the nurses, they will give you a blanket or something
01/04
Hikaru: I’m going home in a week
Hikaru: I’m sorry I couldn’t come to Tokyo
Hikaru: next time
Yoshiki: I don't think your mom will ever allow you to leave the home again
Hikaru: haha
Hikaru: maybe
01/05
Hikaru: it’s so cold
Hikaru: in the hospital
Hikaru: and lonely
Hikaru: I miss you, Yoshiki
Hikaru: I miss you so much
Yoshiki: I miss you too
Hikaru: Come here
Yoshiki: I have school soon
Hikaru: during summer break
Yoshiki: k
Yoshiki: i will
01/07
Hikaru: I’m jealous
Yoshiki: of what
Yoshiki: ?
Yoshiki: hello
Hikaru: of going to school
Hikaru: with you
Yoshiki: that doesn’t even make any sense
Hikaru: i’m sick
Yoshiki: you hit your head, you are not sick
Hikaru: ain’t that the same
Yoshiki: dunno
Yoshiki: not the doctor
Hikaru: hm
Yoshiki: do you have many visitors
Hikaru: yea
Hikaru: people from school
Hikaru: mom
Hikaru: but I just want you to visit
Yoshiki: I know
Yoshiki: I want to go too
Yoshiki: I’m sorry
Hikaru: not your fault
Hikaru: i just miss you
Yoshiki: get better
Yoshiki: i’ll be there in june
Hikaru: june is too far away
Yoshiki: yeah
Yoshiki: it really is
01/10
Hikaru: are you still mad at me
Yoshiki: no
Hikaru: we don’t talk a lot lately
Yoshiki: I'm sorry
Yoshiki: there are exams coming so i’m studying a lot
Hikaru: oh
Hikaru: i forgot about that
Yoshiki: when will you take your exams?
Hikaru: never i hope
Yoshiki: teacher won’t allow that
Hikaru: a man can hope!!!!
Yoshiki: I'm actually a bit mad at you
Yoshiki: it was so stupid hikaru
Yoshiki: why would you even go there
Yoshiki: you won’t even tell me
Yoshiki: i’m allowed to be mad
01/11
Yoshiki: me being mad doesn’t mean i don’t want to be friends with you
Yoshiki: i was just so worried
Yoshiki: everyone was
Hikaru: you still like me
Yoshiki: yeah
Yoshiki: we are friends
Hikaru: I'm sorry
01/14
Hikaru: people treat me like a freak
Yoshiki: i told you that it’s probably just weird for them
Yoshiki: people thought you were dead
Hikaru: not me not me
Hikaru: never dead
Yoshiki: luckily
Hikaru: what would you have done without me?
Yoshiki: message was deleted
Yoshiki: dunno
Hikaru: hm
01/23
Hikaru: it’s really cold lately
Hikaru: is it cold in Tokyo too
Yoshiki: i already told you
Yoshiki: not that bad
Hikaru: right right
Hikaru: but I meant RIGHT NOW
Yoshiki: it’s not
Hikaru: lucky boy
01/30
Yoshiki: i hate tokyo
Hikaru: oh
Hikaru: why
Yoshiki: it’s just worse
Yoshiki: it would be great with you
Yoshiki: but you are not here
Yoshiki: you are so far away
Yoshiki: i still don’t know anyone, and people don’t even talk to me, and my parents still fight
Yoshiki: everything is the same, but also you are just not here
Yoshiki: sorry
Hikaru: it’s fine i feel the same
Hikaru: but we are almost done with high school
Yoshiki: there is still a year left
Hikaru: only one year is nothing
Hikaru: it’s really short
Yoshiki: and then what
Hikaru: then you come back and we live together here
Yoshiki: no longer want to move to tokyo?
Hikaru: well you said you hate it there
02/03
Hikaru: if a girl confessed to you before you left would you stay here instead going to Tokyo
Yoshiki: ?
Yoshiki: no
Yoshiki: who could even confess to me in the first place? and it’s not like I had any choice going here
Hikaru: you’re a pretty boy, someone probably would
Yoshiki: stop being stupid, Hikaru
Yoshiki: no one would
Hikaru: would you stay if I begged you to stay
Yoshiki: message deleted
Hikaru: hey I saw that!
Yoshiki: I would try
Hikaru: run away from home for me?
Yoshiki: probably, yes
02/08
Hikaru: can we call
Yoshiki: my parents are fighting
Hikaru: oh
Yoshiki: I don’t want you to hear them
Hikaru: later then
Yoshiki: just go to sleep
Hikaru: no, I want to wait
Yoshiki: you were always such a sleepy head, and now you are always up Hikaru
Yoshiki: okay I think they are done
Hikaru: ok then call
Yoshiki: sorry my mom heard us talking, so I needed to go to sleep
Hikaru: it’s alright, we can talk later
Hikaru: good night
Yoshiki: night
02/10
Yoshiki: I feel like lately our conversations are about nothing at all
02/11
Yoshiki: I miss having you beside me and talking about nothing when you were beside me. Now, talking about nothing just makes me sad
Hikaru: I’m sorry
Yoshiki: it’s not like it’s your fault, it’s just hard to be like we used to lately
Yoshiki: I don’t think anything changed but it feels like everything is different
Yoshiki: like you are here, but you are not really here
02/14
Hikaru: so many cookies
Hikaru: have you got any cookies
Yoshiki: from my sister
Hikaru: aw
Yoshiki: Asako sent me picture of cookies she made for me
Yoshiki: and then sent me another of eating them
Hikaru: I will bake you cookies when you come
Yoshiki: don’t say that
Yoshiki: weird
Hikaru: why
Yoshiki: you can’t even bake
Hikaru: I’ll learn for you
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Yoshiki: sure
02/18
Hikaru: it’s so cold here
Yoshiki: you are always cold lately
Hikaru: maybe I’m just sick
Yoshiki: maybe
Yoshiki: we should voice chat soon
Yoshiki: we missed some episodes of that magic girl show you like
Hikaru: okay
Hikaru: we can
Hikaru: i miss your voice
Yoshiki: ew
Yoshiki: stop sounding so
Hikaru: so what
Yoshiki: dunno
Yoshiki: so like this
Yoshiki: but i miss your voice too
Hikaru: what you miss about it
Yoshiki: that’s a stupid question
Yoshiki: everything
02/20
Hikaru: do you think we can live together after we are done with school
Yoshiki: why are you always saying such a strange things lately
Hikaru: wouldn’t it be fun? We could hang out every day then, play games, watch anime, read manga together
Yoshiki: I mean
Yoshiki: don’t you think people would find it weird?
Hikaru: in what way
Yoshiki: two adults living together is not really normal when they are men
Hikaru: but don’t you want it?
Hikaru: I thought you wanted it
02/23
Hikaru: it really is cold
Hikaru: with you it would be so warm
Hikaru: you are probably so warm
Hikaru: I want summer to come already
03/01
Hikaru?: LOOK
Hikaru? sent (a) photo(s): 5
Hikaru?: kitty
Yoshiki: oh i remember him
Hikaru?: he scratched me
Hikaru?: evil kitty
03/05
Yoshiki: spring
Hikaru?: spring!!!
Yoshiki: the new school year is coming and it’s only a year left before we done with highschool
Yoshiki: are you still planning to come to Tokyo after?
Hikaru?: no, I think I would stay
Yoshiki: changed your mind lately?
Hikaru?: I guess I did haha, but I don’t think it is bad? You often talk about how much you hate Tokyo anyway
Yoshiki: yeah, but with you it would be so much better if we wanna live together like you said
Yoshiki: people in Tokyo doesn’t care that much about it, and if they do it’s not like the whole village will know
Hikaru?: I really don’t get it why is it such a big deal for best friend to live together
Yoshiki: it’s just
Yoshiki: not normal
Hikaru?: would people just think we are gay?
Yoshiki: yeah
Hikaru?: does it even matter
Yoshiki: it does
03/07
Hikaru?: when you come during summer we should go to all summer festivals and eat so much good food
Yoshiki: I miss home food a lot
Yoshiki: Tokyo has so many restaurants and places where you can eat, and somehow nothing compares to popsicles that i ate with you
Hikaru?: they are not even good without you
Hikaru?: I ate one today
Yoshiki: is it even warm enough to eat them?
Hikaru?: it’s okay
Hikaru?: but it would be better with you anyway
03/15
Yoshiki: I already asked my mom if I can go spend summer with you, and she said it would be okay but I need to have good grades
Yoshiki: dad said they need to think about it because you know
Yoshiki: what happened to you
Hikaru?: but I’m okay
Yoshiki: he wants mom to talk to your mom before I come so they can make sure she will handle both of us all on her own
Hikaru?: I can take care of everything myself
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Hikaru?: I’m strong!
Yoshiki: I bet you are
Hikaru?: I think I became taller since last time you saw me, Yoshiki
Hikaru?: I can protect you from anything
Yoshiki added heart reaction
03/17
Yoshiki: why are you calling me in the middle of the night? I’m sorry I cannot answer now
Yoshiki: did something happen? Are you okay?
Hikaru?: oh yeah sorry I amm
Hikaru?: I just miss you a lot
Hikaru?: I hate that you are not here with me
Yoshiki: I’m sorry
Yoshiki: I miss you too
Yoshiki: so much
Hikaru?: I feel like my body is dying without you around me
Yoshiki: don’t say that
Yoshiki: I’ll be there soon
Yoshiki: I can call you when I leave home for classes, okay?
Hikaru?: yes
03/20
Yoshiki: happy birthday to my best friend ever
Yoshiki: I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there with you
Hikaru?: aww thank you
Hikaru?: for my birthday i want to watch Alien movies with you
Yoshiki: lol we saw them couple of times already didn’t we
Yoshiki: but sure
Yoshiki: after classes I’m all yours
Hikaru?: can’t wait you to have you all then
03/29
Yoshiki: strange question, but are you okay? Asako told me you have been acting strange lately
Hikaru?: why would she say that
Yoshiki: I dunno. That’s why I’m asking you if you are okay? She thought you seemed a bit lonely and not hanging out with them since the accident
Hikaru?: noo I’m okay
Hikaru?: I just don’t feel the need
Yoshiki: to hang out with your friends? Why
Hikaru?: I would rather to just hang out with you
Yoshiki: me too but I’m also not there… so please also stay in touch with your friends
Yoshiki: I don’t want you to be lonely just because I needed to move to Tokyo
Hikaru?: ah
Hikaru?: i’ll try then
Hikaru?: for you
Yoshiki: I shouldn’t be the only reason why you have friends
Yoshiki: but I thought you like them all
Hikaru?: they are alright
Yoshiki: are you sure you are okay? You have been acting strange since december
Hikaru?: of course I am
Hikaru?: what is strange about me?
Yoshiki: dunno
Yoshiki: just the feeling
Yoshiki: maybe it’s because we don’t see ach other every day now
Hikaru?: don’t think about it too much
Hikaru?: I’m really fine
Yoshiki: k
Yoshiki: but if you ever feel weird, tell me
Yoshiki: I care about you so much, Hikaru
Yoshiki: I never want you to feel like a stranger to me or anyone else, you are my best friend from birth to death
Yoshiki: I care about you more than I care about anything else in this world
04/01
Yoshiki: Old Tanaka lady is dead?
Hikaru?: oh yeah
Hikaru?: I guess she is, I heard something
Yoshiki: what happened
Hikaru?: I don’t know
Hikaru?: but she was just an old witch so I’m not surprised
Yoshiki: what does that even mean
04/05
Hikaru?: I’ve been watching stars a lot of lately
Yoshiki: I can’t see stars at all in Tokyo
Hikaru?: sucks
Hikaru?: we go stargaze in June
Yoshiki added heart reaction
04/12
Yoshiki: I think my parents are talking about the divorce again
Yoshiki: dad is not happy in Tokyo at all
Yoshiki: and mom is doing better, Kaoru too
Yoshiki: I just feel so lost
Hikaru?: are you doing better?
Yoshiki: not really… it not even worse, it’s just nothing at all
Yoshiki: I feel the same, but I also don’t have you or any friends at all now and I honestly think all my classmates just think I’m creepy and weird
Hikaru?: why
Hikaru?: are you not allowed to be a bit weird anymore?
Yoshiki: it’s just
Yoshiki: dunno they make fun of me for stuff I cannot change
Yoshiki: some guys were calling me weird names
Hikaru?: what names
Yoshiki: you know, not nice ones
Hikaru?: i don’t know
Yoshiki: it doesn’t matter actually
Yoshiki: so I guess at least I have some friends back home
Yoshiki: and I always had you and now I don’t and it feels so bad
Hikaru?: soon you will have me again
Hikaru?: just wait until summer
04/18
Hikaru?: do you think we will ever see snow together again
Yoshiki: you can come during winter break, this time for real
Yoshiki: i would love to have you here
04/20
Hikaru?: happy birthday to my best friend ever and forever
Hikaru?: I hope we can see each other soon
Hikaru?: every new day I miss you even more than every day that came before
Hikaru?: I don’t want to miss you ever again
Yoshiki: thank you
Yoshiki: it’s really sweet I don’t even know what to say
Yoshiki: and kind of lame
Hikaru?: lame?!
Yoshiki: leave this romantic things for your hot girlfriend
Hikaru?: I don’t want a hot girlfriend
Yoshiki: then to your not so hot girlfriend
Yoshiki: I just thought I was suppose to bring you one from Tokyo
Hikaru?: just bring me yourself
Hikaru?: do you want to do something together for your birthday?
Yoshiki: we can watch a movie or something? You can pick, but please not those weird ones with aliens and dinosaurs this time
Hikaru?: after school then
05/01
Yoshiki: I had a dream about us two dying last night
Hikaru?: aw
Yoshiki: what do you mean aw
Yoshiki: it was terrifying
Yoshiki: you were all cold and dead and then I died too
Hikaru?: hm
Hikaru?: how did I die
Yoshiki: I think a ghost scared you so much you just had a heart attack and died
Hikaru?: that’s dumb
Hikaru?: I’m not scared of ghosts
Yoshiki: since when
Hikaru?: since I became one
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Yoshiki: please never go ghost haunting anyway, I don’t want you dead
Hikaru?: don’t worry, I’ll be always here for you
05/02
Yoshiki: can I tell you something
Hikaru?: what?
Hikaru?: are you trying to profess your undying love?
Yoshiki: what are you even saying?
Yoshiki: it’s not that
Hikaru?: then what is it?
Yoshiki: I just
Yoshiki: last november I was so sad I felt like I was dying
Yoshiki: I feel like I almost died
Yoshiki: and then you went missing and I thought I will really die, I just sayed in my bed for days and I remember my mom coming into my room telling me they had founded you
Yoshiki: and dunno
Yoshiki: I just thought she was lying so I won’t just die there, in my bed, rot to death
Hikaru?: but I didn’t die
Yoshiki: I just
Yoshiki: dunno
Yoshiki: forget I said anything it’s weird
Hikaru?: okay
05/05
Yoshiki: my mom will call your mom today to ask if I can stay
Hikaru?: okay
Yoshiki: tell her to be ready
Hikaru?: okay
Yoshiki: it went well I think, she told me I can go for few weeks
Yoshiki: for like three I think
Yoshiki: I begged her to let me stay the whole summer break but she said no
Hikaru?: I’m happy I’ll have you for even three weeks
Yoshiki: I’m happy too
Hikaru?: missing you every day
05/09
Yoshiki: I want to be done with high school already
Hikaru?: me too, it’s so boring
Yoshiki: I feel like all teenagers are evil
Hikaru?: aren’t you a teenager?
Yoshiki: uh yes but I’m not the evil sort
Hikaru?: am I the evil sort?
Yoshiki: I’ll judge you in a month
Hikaru?: and what if I am evil?
Yoshiki: then I’ll make you good again
Hikaru?: I’m always a good boy for you
Yoshiki: you were always a nasty boy for me
Hikaru?: I had grown up
Hikaru?: now I’m almost an adult
Yoshiki added haha reaction
Hikaru?: I’ll take care of you
Yoshiki: stop saying sappy things until someone will get a weird idea
Hikaru?: no one is even reading our messages
Yoshiki: I guess
Yoshiki: but maybe you are showing them to Maki and you are both making fun of me for being like that
Hikaru?: I am not
Hikaru?: also, you are calling me sappy
Hikaru?: and I’m just being a lovely boy to you
Yoshiki: I don’t trust your evil intentions
Yoshiki: evil good boy
Hikaru?: I can be that for you if you want
Yoshiki: just be Hikaru please
05/13
Hikaru?: we will be friends forever right
Yoshiki: of course
Hikaru?: and you will never leave me
Yoshiki: I won’t
Yoshiki: I never ever wanted to move out and if I could, I would just take you with me or stay with you there
Hikaru?: you would choose me over Tokyo?
Hikaru?: I thought you always wanted to move there
Hikaru?: I know it’s miserable but wasn’t that your dream
Yoshiki: but it’s so different when you are an adult, and it would be so different with you… we could go to the cinema together, and play games at the arcade and go to a bar when we are adults
Hikaru?: to a bar? I never thought you would want to get drunk or something
Yoshiki: I mean that is what people are doing here, you know
Yoshiki: even my classmates go to bars, and they are too young for it, they all talk about casinos and ‘red districts’ and everything and I’m just curious what they see in it
Yoshiki: but I would only go there with you
05/18
Yoshiki: in less than a month we will see each other!
Yoshiki: finally
Hikaru?: it feels like a lifetime since last time I saw you
Yoshiki: it’s been less than a year
Hikaru?: but it still feels like a lifetime, like I can’t even remember how you smell at all
05/22
Yoshiki: I heard someone else died
Hikaru?: huh? Who
Yoshiki: that old woman that sold us oranges every summer on our way to school
Hikaru?: really
Yoshiki: you didn’t hear about it?
Hikaru?: no, I didn’t
Hikaru?: but wasn’t she, like, ultra old? So what if old people die
Yoshiki: I don’t know, but… well take care of yourself, my mom is saying that there is something weird going on there
06/01
Yoshiki: you still have my spare futon right
Hikaru?: probably
Hikaru?: or we can just sleep together
Yoshiki: lol we are too old for that
Yoshiki: what do you want from Tokyo
Hikaru?: manga
Yoshiki: action?
Hikaru?: I want to read some shojo
Hikaru?: I tried to borrow them from Asako and she told me I probably just make fun of her for them
Yoshiki: I never knew you were fans of romances
Hikaru?: I just want some shojo
Yoshiki: okay okay I’ll buy you some
Hikaru? added heart reaction
06/09
Yoshiki: bought my train ticket already
Yoshiki: I will be there in a week
Hikaru?: finally
Yoshiki: yeah
06/11
Hikaru?: what is the first thing you want to do when you are back
Yoshiki: we should probably leave my stuff at your place
Yoshiki: and then we can go for ice-creams
Yoshiki: and just walk around together like we always did
Hikaru?: I want to spend every day with you
Yoshiki: me too, you are my best friend
Hikaru?: I like you so much, Yoshiki
Yoshiki: I like you too, all people like they best friends
Hikaru?: yeah I guess it’s that
Yoshiki: you guess?
Yoshiki: is there something you want to tell me
Hikaru?: not really
Hikaru?: but I feel like you want to tell me something
Yoshiki: maybe
Yoshiki: I just
Hikaru?: you what
Yoshiki: let’s not talk about it through the text
Yoshiki: I’ll tell you everything when I’m back
Hikaru?: you promise?
Yoshiki: yes
Yoshiki says goodbye to his mother. He hugs his sister. Tells them to give a hug to the dad. It feels like a goodbye. It is a goodbye. That deep, unsettling feeling that was with him for months tells him it's the last time – it tells him not to get onto the train. But he does anyway, and as the doors close and he puts his bag away and sits on the seat, Yoshiki can help but to feel deeply terrified.
Throughout the whole trip, he falls asleep and wakes up. He checks his messages, writes back to his mom, and checks on Hikaru.
06/17
Hikaru?: I’ll be waiting at the station!!
Yoshiki stares at his display name. He falls asleep again, and dreams about his childhood – it’s just a short, sad dream, before he wakes up again. Forty minutes later, Yoshiki leaves the train, and before he can even look around, someone throws himself on him with such force, he almost falls inside the train again.
“Yoshiki!” Hikaru screams, hugs him so tightly that Yoshiki can feel air being punched out of his lungs.
“Hikaru,” he answers softly, and hugs him back.
“Hi,” Hikaru says, as he takes a step back. They stare at each other for a long while, until Hikaru tilts his head, and gives Yoshiki a big, gummy smile. “It’s finally warm again.”
There is something deeply not right about him. Not wrong, no. Just simply not right.
“It is,” Yoshiki says, breathless. “Finally,” he says quietly, and stares at Hikaru
The red stares back. It’s not Hikaru, his brain whispers. For a long time, it wasn’t really him, his heart adds. Do you care?, mumbles abdomen. You should, answers the lung. It’s so sick that you try not to, screams the stomach.
“I miss you,” says Yoshiki.