Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yoongi-hyung
I’m so exhausted
Need food
And a hug
And a kiss. Or several

Jungkook
Lucky for you, all three are waiting for you :)
I picked up samgyetang
And wine!

Yoongi-hyung
You’re so perfect thank you
I’m going to shower first, is that fine?

Jungkook
I had a late lunch so I’m okay to wait for a bit

Yoongi-hyung
I still require a hug and kiss pre-shower

Jungkook
Kekeke you’re so cute hyung
Of course
See you soon :)

It is seven p.m. on the dot when Yoongi comes grumbling through the front door of their apartment. His long hair is in a frizzy disarray, stray pieces falling over his eyes as he struggles to kick off his sneakers. Jungkook watches with a glass of wine in hand, biting back a grin at how adorable Yoongi looks when he’s frustrated.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Yoongi complains, tossing all his belongings on the floor haphazardly. He shoves his messy hair away from his face and pouts at Jungkook from across the living room. “Come here. I need energy.”

Jungkook laughs and takes a small sip of his wine. He places the glass on the kitchen table to meet Yoongi where he’s slouched, and drapes his arms around his shoulders. Immediately, Yoongi melts against him, forehead pressed to his sternum and arms clinging to his waist. Jungkook runs his hand down the ridges of Yoongi’s spine and squeezes him close, breathing in the scent of smoke on his collar. He never realizes how much he misses Yoongi till they’re together again.

“Hi, baby,” Yoongi finally says softly, rubbing one of his wide palms against Jungkook’s hip.

“Hi hyung,” Jungkook replies, kissing the corner of Yoongi’s forehead. The steady beat of his heart makes him sway. “Long day?”

Yoongi pulls away, hands traveling up the front of Jungkook’s chest to rest against the nape of his neck. Their lips meet for a soft, brief kiss. Yoongi keeps Jungkook’s head pulled down to kiss him again, deeper, just a few seconds longer to savor the taste of each other. Jungkook drops a few more kisses along his jaw, rubbing his nose by his ear. This is the only thing he needs at the end of an exhausting day.

“Fucking hate new projects sometimes,” Yoongi says, extracting himself completely. He doesn’t even bother picking up his strewn belongings—just goes straight for their bedroom with his t-shirt going over his head. Jungkook trails after him, swiping up his wine glass from the kitchen table as he follows. “So much planning. So many details.”

“But that’s why you love it,” Jungkook points out, while Yoongi is rummaging through the dresser for clean underwear and pajamas. The muscles on his back are tense as he moves, clearly wound up. “Is it interesting, at least?”

Yoongi shuts a drawer with his hip. “Being interesting is the bare minimum,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to go shower, but—can I have some of that first?”

Without blinking twice, Jungkook passes his wine glass to Yoongi and watches him finish it off with ease. They share another kiss before Yoongi slinks into the bathroom and leaves the door half-open behind him.

Their routine feels very simple, sometimes mundane. They both spend their days at work, usually on their feet, so when they come home in the evening, going the extra mile seems futile. It’s the little things that matter most, anyway. Jungkook knows that Yoongi doesn’t particularly care for grand gestures, or fancy dinner dates. A night curled up on the couch with a movie is enough. So is cooking new dishes together on the weekends. They’re both content with that.

Jungkook takes his empty glass back into the kitchen and refills it, then fills up a second one for Yoongi. He sets the table for the two of them and reheats the samgyetang in a pot, leaving it to simmer while he waits.

Across the room, near the door, Yoongi’s bag catches Jungkook’s eye. All these strewn papers and picture boards are spilling out. He picks up the mess and spreads the papers on the coffee table, furrowing his eyebrows. How is he supposed to organize this in a way that Yoongi can find what he needs? He doesn’t know the first thing about how Yoongi does his job.

He starts by sorting out the picture boards, since those are the most obvious. He places them in a neat stack, then moves onto… whatever this is, he thinks as he picks up another chaotic pile of papers. So much waste. Does Yoongi seriously need all this paper?

None of it is of particular interest to him, until he spots a cast list. He pauses to read it, and stops short at the very first name listed.

CHOI YURI as Lim Chaewon

Jungkook blinks a couple of times. Surely that isn’t who he thinks it is.

Just to be sure, though, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks up her name. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth when he realizes that, yes, this Choi Yuri is the same Choi Yuri he is thinking of.

Behind him, Yoongi calls out, “Baby! I forgot my towel, can you get it for me?”

Jungkook hesitates, blinking down at the paper clutched in his grasp, before he pushes himself up. The name Choi Yuri lingers in the back of his mind as he grabs Yoongi’s bath towel from where it’s draped on a hook inside their closet. Surely, when given the opportunity, Yoongi will tell him about this on his own. Right?

He enters the steamy bathroom and hands off the towel, watching with his arms crossed as Yoongi dries off his chest and his legs before wrapping it around his hips. His wet hair drips down his shoulders, droplets rolling down his beautiful, pale arms. Jungkook is suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to keep Yoongi out of anyone’s sight. No one else deserves to see how fucking stunning he is.

“Why do you look so angry?” Yoongi asks with a soft laugh, pinching Jungkook’s cheek as he pushes past. Jungkook’s frown instantly shifts into a pout. He didn’t even realize he was frowning to begin with.

“Just…” Jungkook purses his lips, considering his words. “Missed you today, I guess.”

Yoongi smiles a little, shaking his head. “Missed you too, baby,” he mumbles as he gets dressed, hanging his towel on the hook that Jungkook first grabbed it from. He rejoins Jungkook by the bathroom door and stands on his toes to press a firm kiss to his mouth. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

While Yoongi settles at the kitchen table with his glass of wine, Jungkook carries over the simmering pot of samgyetang with a spoon to serve the soup and tongs for the chicken. He dishes it out for Yoongi, then himself. He still can’t get Choi Yuri’s name out of his mind. Usually Yoongi tells him this stuff, so he’ll give him a chance. After all, he just got home twenty minutes ago.

“What’s the new project about?” Jungkook asks, pushing a spoonful of rice into his mouth. He chews on it as Yoongi takes a short sip from his samgyetang, eyes shut. “Is it a show?”

“Yeah, it’s a romance drama. Thankfully, this one’s about adults so the costuming shouldn’t be restricted to school uniforms.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. He’s made his distaste for dramas set in high school known over the course of their relationship. Working in the TV industry also means finding issues in media that an average person would never notice. “It seems cute. I met the costume designer today and talked through the styling of the main characters. Shooting starts on Wednesday.”

Jungkook purses his lips and nods along. “Yeah? Is it someone you’ve worked with before?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “She’s younger and newer to costuming, so I liked her fresh ideas. Like, she doesn’t want the main character to feel too feminine, so she’s balancing it out with a lot of casual, masc looks.” He smiles—Jungkook smiles back at him, because he can’t help it. Even if he’s kind of waiting for Yoongi to tell him about Choi Yuri. “The second lead is a man, but he’s more weird and eccentric. Lots of belts.”

“What could this show possibly be about?” Jungkook asks with a laugh, reaching over the still-steaming pot to grab the bowl of pickled radish. Yoongi’s free hand flies up to hold up his elbow while he takes the bowl over to his side of the table. Yoongi blinks, like that action is nothing. Like Jungkook said, it’s the little things that matter most. “I wasn’t going to burn myself, hyung.”

“You never know.”

“I’m not Namjoon-hyung. He would burn himself on a cold stove.”

Yoongi snorts and shakes his head, shielding his smile with his chopsticks. “Anyway, I can’t say too much, but someone’s an artist and someone’s an office worker,” he explains, waving his chopsticks in the air before using them to pull a piece of chicken from the bone. “You’d actually like the story. It’s pretty funny.”

As if Jungkook would watch anything with Choi Yuri in it. He just shrugs off the comment and goes back to his food. Why hasn’t Yoongi mentioned her yet?

He spends the rest of dinner sulking into his food, as Yoongi rambles about his day with the costume designer. Normally Jungkook would be keen to listen. Yoongi has more entertaining work days than the time that he spends cooped up in the lab, or in a library to do research, or in meetings to discuss funding and projects. He loves it, of course, but Yoongi always has something exciting to share.

Luckily, once their bowls are polished clean and they’re tidying up the kitchen, it’s quiet. Jungkook is, unfortunately, still stuck in his own thoughts. He shouldn’t be so hung up on the fact that Yoongi hasn’t told him about working with Choi Yuri. A set costumer always works closely with actors, whether that’s intentional or not. Just the thought makes Jungkook feel sick to his stomach.

Nonetheless, he settles on the couch with Yoongi and their wine. Jungkook sets his glass on the floor by his feet so he can finish organizing Yoongi’s work papers.

“Leave it, baby. I’ll do it after,” Yoongi says gently, skimming a hand over Jungkook’s shoulder.

Jungkook shrugs him off. It’s immature, sure, but he’s annoyed now.

“Come on.” Yoongi urges him up with an insistent tug on his elbow. “Sit with me.”

It shouldn’t trigger something in him, but Jungkook has a short fuse. He twists around with his feet tucked underneath him, studying Yoongi’s soft, confused features. How his lips tense when he’s concerned, how his damp hair waves slightly from the perm he got last month. How his eyes search Jungkook’s face for an explanation.

“Why didn’t you say that your ex is the lead actress?” Jungkook asks, maybe a bit harsh. He jabs a finger at the papers scattered on the coffee table. “I had to find out like this.”

“What?” Yoongi laughs, the worry slipping off his face. He sips his wine and pulls his knees closer to his chest, still looking for something in Jungkook’s expression. Jungkook hopes he isn’t letting his nastiness shine through too clearly. “That’s why you’re so worked up?”

“You’re working with your ex-girlfriend,” Jungkook says, annoyed, trying to shove Yoongi off when his hands come close to pull him away from the coffee table. He ends up going anyway, sitting upright with a huff. Heat starts creeping up his neck when he realizes that Yoongi is laughing. “Stop! It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” Yoongi says softly, pinching Jungkook’s waist affectionately. “You’re cute.”

Irritated, Jungkook swats Yoongi’s hand away. “I’m not cute. I’m annoyed,” he says, and crosses his arms just to have Yoongi laugh harder at him. He sits with a scowl until Yoongi sets down his wine glass to throw his right leg over Jungkook’s hips, and settle into his lap. “Stop it. I’m trying to be mad at you.”

“Can’t help that you’re a little sexy when you’re upset,” Yoongi mumbles against Jungkook’s mouth, his fingers massaging the tense junction between his shoulder and neck. His warm lips leave a trail of kisses along his tightened jaw, to his ear. “Do you need a reminder of who you are?”

“Hyung.”

Despite the whining, Yoongi continues to drop teasing kisses on Jungkook’s hot skin, trailing over his neck, along his throat, till he’s mouthing lightly at the top of his chest. “Are you jealous?” he asks, his breath cascading off the wet skin. Jungkook shifts his hips, because he’s unfortunately getting harder by the second, and throws his head back with a sigh. How does he answer that with dignity? “Oh my god.” Yoongi laughs again. “You’re actually jealous.”

Jungkook huffs and mutters, “Shut up.”

But Yoongi seems to take pleasure in torturing Jungkook with this, because he grabs his chin and forces their eyes to meet. “You are very, very hot when you’re worked up,” he says, locking their lips into a kiss again.

This time, Jungkook really can’t fight it. His hands pull Yoongi closer by the waist and his mouth has memorized the way he kisses after all these years. He falls right into it. Even chokes on a moan when Yoongi’s hands sneak their way beneath his loose t-shirt. As Yoongi gets him undressed right there in the living room, nothing else matters to him. The man he loves is making him feel good. Yoongi is all he cares about.

++

The concept of Yoongi working with his ex-girlfriend fades into a distant memory, sort of. It niggles at his thoughts between meetings and work in the lab. He hasn’t heard Yoongi mention her since Monday evening, when they had that conversation on the couch. It’s fine that they don’t talk about it. Jungkook is happy to focus on anything else, actually.

When he goes to check his phone on his lunch break, there’s five photo attachments from Yoongi, including a selfie of him in a mirror, wearing a gray beanie with cat ears and a leather bomber jacket that Jungkook gifted him for one of his birthdays. Some of the other pictures are of the set. He had an early call time this morning, so there’s a photo of the sunrise from the driver’s seat of his car. And then, of course, in the background of a picture of cameras on a street, is Choi Yuri.

Jungkook knows it’s stupid to hone in on, but he still chooses to reply to that.

Yoongi-hyung
[Photo 1: Selfie of Yoongi standing in front of a bathroom mirror, pouting, long hair sticking out beneath his cat-eared beanie and one hand tucked into his leather bomber jacket. His cheeks are slightly flushed from the cold.]
[Photo 2: A photo of the bedroom set for one of the main characters.]
[Photo 3: The craft table on set, filled with various snacks, energy drinks, and fruits.]
[Photo 4: The sun rising over the Seoul skyline, with a cloud that sort of looks like a heart if you squint.]
[Photo 5: Directors and other crew surrounding the two main leads on a street. Including Choi Yuri.]

Jungkook
[Replying to Photo 5] Ugh. She’s there.

Yoongi-hyung
?
Baby didn’t you see my cat hat
I stole it from the costume designer

Jungkook
Yeah I see it

Yoongi-hyung
Doesn’t it look cute on me?

Jungkook
Sure

Yoongi-hyung
Don’t be annoying :(
You think I’m cute, right?

Jungkook
Of course.
You’re literally the cutest person I’ve ever seen.

Yoongi-hyung
Oh good :)
You had me worried for a sec
Having lunch?

Jungkook
Yeah
I got triangle gimbap and banana milk from the convenience store

Yoongi-hyung
Baby, that’s a snack
Tell me you’ll eat something else

Jungkook
I’ll eat properly after I come home from the gym later
I had a big breakfast
What time are you done on set?

Yoongi-hyung
I don’t know yet
We’re going out to dinner after we wrap for the day
I’ll text you once I have a better idea
I have to get back to work
I love you

Jungkook
I love you more
Can’t wait to see you at home :)

That doesn’t turn out to be until a little after eleven o’clock. Jungkook is slouched at his PC in the spare room, on a voice call with Taehyung and Seokjin while they play video games together. It’s Thursday evening, which means he doesn’t need to work at the lab tomorrow, which also means he’s allowed to stay up later than usual if he wants to. He’s already thinking about logging off and helping himself to a cigarette and the ice cream in the freezer when he hears Yoongi come through the front door.

“Yoongi-hyung just got home, so I’m going to go,” Jungkook says into the mic, logging out of their game.

Seokjin groans. “Yoongi takes the fun out of gaming with you!”

Jungkook giggles and glances over his shoulder to see Yoongi flop on the couch, definitely a little tipsy. “My boyfriend duties call,” he says to his friends, looking back at his monitor screens.

“We’re still seeing you guys next week, right?” Taehyung asks, before Jungkook has a chance to escape them. “You promised to come over and check out the new place. Me and Jimin have been talking about it for ages.”

“We’ll be there.” Jungkook needs to double check that with Yoongi, but he doesn’t see why they won’t be able to. “Goodnight, hyungs.”

There’s a cacophony of shouting as he removes himself from the call, shutting down his PC for the rest of the night. He switches off the lamp on his way out of the room, and rests his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders when he reaches him in the living room.

Yoongi’s head lolls back, smiling sleepily up at him. “Hi, baby,” he says, that telltale redness filling his cheeks. He always gets rosy when he drinks. “I’m surprised you’re still up.”

“Tomorrow’s a work-from-home day for me, remember?” Jungkook smiles and rubs along the tension, using his thumb to massage through a tough knot. Yoongi tilts his head forward again when his hands move up to his neck, pressing at the base of his skull. “God, I don’t know how you move around so much for work. I’d be tired all the time. You’re so tense.”

“Well, you use your brain a lot, so I guess—ow, that hurts.” Yoongi’s hand comes up to lighten the pressure. Jungkook presses a kiss there before he continues. “Anyway. I was just trying to say that we both do what we do best. If that makes sense.”

Jungkook loves how cute Yoongi gets when he’s been drinking. The lazy smile that curls over his mouth when he looks up again just sums it up.

“Who did you have dinner with?” Jungkook asks, leaving a kiss on Yoongi’s forehead so he can get him a glass of water.

“Uh, just a few people from the cast and crew.” Yoongi turns so he can watch, resting his chin over the back of the couch. “It was nothing crazy. Just some barbecue and a few drinks. You know I don’t usually go to this stuff, but Yuri asked me to, so.”

Jungkook feels his teeth clench when he sits down beside Yoongi, passing him the glass. “She asked you to?” he repeats, and hopes the ridiculousness of that comes across through his tone. Why would Yoongi go just because Choi Yuri asked him to go? “Why would that make a difference?”

Yoongi isn’t quite sober enough to pick up on what Jungkook means, because he just sips his water nonchalantly, completely unbothered. “I mean, it doesn’t. I’m just more comfortable going to these group things when I know someone else,” he says, letting the glass rest on his knee, looking over at Jungkook. That’s when he realizes that something’s up. “Why? Are you jealous again?”

“No.” Jungkook hates how it’s a joke to him. But he also knows it’s dumb because Yoongi loves him. He knows that. He just doesn’t like the idea of Yoongi being around a woman he dated for two years before they met each other. “You want a cigarette before bed?”

“I’ll change first and join you outside,” Yoongi says, leaning over to kiss Jungkook’s cheek. He lingers there, his chin resting on Jungkook’s shoulder, eyes all soft and warm. “I’m still a little bit mad at how you texted me earlier. Sure is never an acceptable answer to whether I’m cute or not.”

“You’re always cute.” Jungkook tucks the shorter strands of Yoongi’s hair behind his ear and presses their lips together, short and sweet. “But, I’m sorry. Forgive me. I won’t do it again.”

Yoongi scowls adorably. “You better not,” he grumbles, pushing himself off the couch, finishing the glass of water. He drops it off in the kitchen sink before going into their bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

Meanwhile, Jungkook locates his pack of cigarettes from his work bag and Yoongi’s lighter from the leather bomber jacket he wore today. He sits outside, on a stool that one of their mothers bought when they first moved into this apartment, shivering when the wind blows, wishing he grabbed a hoodie before stepping outside. He waits for Yoongi, leaning his elbow on the short railing, looking up at the foggy sky. It’s too bad the stars can’t be seen from Seoul.

Yoongi rejoins him outside after a couple minutes, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a crewneck sweater. He drops a hoodie on Jungkook’s lap before collapsing into the second stool, rubbing his drooping eyes. Jungkook almost makes a comment about going straight to bed instead, but Yoongi just swipes up the pack and sticks a cigarette in his mouth.

“Can you light it for me?” he asks around the stick, so Jungkook leans forward with a hand cupped around the lighter to protect the flame, raising it to the cigarette. Smoke puffs out around them. Jungkook takes the cigarette from him and has a short hit, then gives it back. He should’ve had the ice cream first. “What are you thinking about?”

“Ice cream.”

Not entirely true. He’s still kind of thinking about Yoongi going out to dinner with Choi Yuri.

The cigarette keeps burning where it’s resting between Yoongi’s fingers. “Did you want ice cream?” he asks, inhaling around the cigarette, letting the smoke fall past his lips instead of blowing it out. “I think we have some. Hobi left it here last weekend.”

“I know.” Jungkook leans forward for Yoongi to put the cigarette in his mouth, drawing in a short hit. “I might have some. I don’t know yet. Smoking kind of kills my appetite.”

“Put this on,” Yoongi says, tugging lightly on the hoodie still draped over Jungkook’s thighs. “You’re clearly cold. Don’t be stubborn, it’ll get you sick.”

Jungkook doesn’t argue, and pulls the hoodie on, wiggling his arms through. Once his head is free, Yoongi is there with the cigarette to hand it over to him. With one, long hit, he finishes it off and drops it to the floor to press beneath his outdoor slippers. Yoongi puts another cigarette in his mouth and lights it. He always smokes more when he’s been drinking.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook asks him, pulling his stool closer so he can trace the exposed skin of Yoongi’s knee. He’s not sure why, but he always feels safer when he’s touching Yoongi. Almost like it solidifies his presence.

Yoongi hums softly. “Work. Like always.” He laughs a little, smoking his second cigarette alone. “It’s sort of weird changing coworkers every couple of months.”

“Why’s it weird?”

“There’s no… continuity.” Yoongi blows smoke in Jungkook’s direction, and kisses him gently after. Jungkook smiles a little, resting his head in the crook of Yoongi’s neck. “But you get to work with the same people, don’t you?”

Jungkook shrugs, gazing up at the clouded sky. “Usually, I guess. Not always.” His fingers leave red imprints on Yoongi’s pale skin. “Sometimes I collaborate with researchers I’ve never met before. Like, they’re from another institution. Normally from abroad.”

“You like your colleagues, right?”

“Yeah, sure. It’s pretty surface level. You know that a lot of them are older, so it’s not like I’m best friends with them.”

Yoongi hums. “True. You like your privacy. But it’s hard for me to make friends with people I don’t see on a consistent basis,” he says, and Jungkook nods in agreement. He doesn’t make idle talk with the other doctors he works with, though. “On the bright side, if I make a good impression working on a project, I have that connection if I’m ever between work. Not that I struggle as much anymore.”

Despite what people believe about the entertainment industry, being a set costumer gives Yoongi an edge that most don’t have. It’s a unique enough position for there to only be a handful of people with the qualifications, and still be a demand here in Seoul. It isn’t the most well-paid career, but between the two of them, they survive. Jungkook is content to be funding their lives if it means Yoongi is happy, doing what he loves.

“Do you feel like you’ve clicked with anyone for this new TV show?” Jungkook asks, after a couple minutes have passed. The second cigarette burned out, sitting on the floor between their stools. Yoongi just shakes his head and sighs tiredly. “I think… sometimes you can give people the wrong impression. But after getting past your persona, people can usually see how soft you are.”

“I am not soft.”

Jungkook teasingly bites Yoongi’s collarbone. “You’re very soft. Especially for me,” he mumbles against his chest, chills running over his skin when Yoongi’s hand finds its way to the nape of his neck. He holds him steady, pressing a warm kiss to his mouth, tasting of smoke and soju. “I’m special, though, right?”

Yoongi flicks ashes off Jungkook’s knee and smiles, rubbing their noses together. He wouldn’t be caught dead doing this with their friends present. “The most special,” he whispers, pulling away, his fingers running through Jungkook’s hair. He turns his head away, so Jungkook does the same—the clouds have made a gap for the moon to shine through. “I will say, it’s nice to see Yuri again. She knows the director and everyone better, so she’s been really great about welcoming me.”

Choi Yuri, again. Jungkook keeps his mouth shut.

“I’m tired,” Yoongi says, pulling away. He stands and offers his hands for Jungkook to take.

Jungkook takes them and tries to forget about how awful Choi Yuri makes him feel. But even after brushing his teeth by Yoongi’s side, curling up with him under their bedcovers, he wonders if he could even compare to her.

++

There was a date, years ago, a couple of months after Jungkook had started talking to Yoongi, where they ended up seated on a park bench near a playground. Their shoulders were pressed together, hands intertwined. They watched a pair of siblings chase each other around the structure and a young father push his daughter on the swing set. It’s one of those quiet moments that Jungkook still revisits. He likes to remember how warm it felt.

But, there is also the fact that Yoogni softly confided in him. How he leaned closer to Jungkook’s ear and said, “One day, I want to have kids I can bring here.”

Jungkook remembers squeezing his hand and sharing that sentiment. There are other ways of having children, of course, but Yoongi likes women too. He has the option of having children with a woman. But he chose Jungkook. And some days, like today, Jungkook feels inexplicably horrible about that fact.

Over the years, Yoongi has still expressed his desire for his own family. He’s close with his parents and his older brother, just like Jungkook is with his own. It usually comes at offhanded moments, like if they see a mother and child while in line at a café, or while watching something together that features a family with young children. He doesn’t always say anything, but it’s just the faraway look he gets on his face.

They’re at the mall today, trying to shop for Seokjin’s birthday. Jungkook feels his stomach plummet when he watches Yoongi pause to look at baby clothes. It’s not the first time he’s done this, but today it just makes Jungkook feel awful. How can he ever give Yoongi a baby?

“Look, the hood has bear ears,” Yoongi says with an excited smile, looking up at Jungkook.

“Cute,” Jungkook agrees quietly. “Um, do you want to see if there are any sweaters that Jin-hyung might like?”

Yoongi looks at him strangely. “In a bit, yeah,” he says, going back to swiping through the baby clothes rack. Jungkook quietly lingers nearby. He’ll never be enough to fulfill that dream. But maybe he could if he was Choi Yuri.

The thought makes Jungkook falter. He’s not even sure why he thinks it to begin with, because he knows that at the end of the day, Yoongi will always come back to him. They love each other. What does Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend have to do with this?

As he follows Yoongi around the children’s section of the store, he comes to the conclusion himself. It’s the fact that Choi Yuri is a woman. She can offer Yoongi the family that he’s been looking forward to building. Jungkook isn’t capable of bearing a child. In some twisted way, he sort of wishes he was capable. Maybe then he could help Yoongi’s dream of being a father actually become a reality.

Jungkook wants a family too, that isn’t part of the issue. But he came to terms with being unable to have his own biological children after he realized he was gay. That was almost fifteen years ago. He never even thought he would meet a man who would love him for this long, let alone imagine raising a child with him. What does any of that matter if Yoongi doesn’t want a family with him?

Those thoughts lead him in circles for the rest of the shopping trip. He stays quiet and lets Yoongi fawn over the baby clothes, the dolls and trucks, and the books that teach the Korean and English alphabet. He can’t help but get in his head about this. It’s second nature to overthink until his stomach is in knots.

Yoongi doesn’t notice anything is off until he’s driving them back home from the mall with a couple of sweaters for Seokjin’s birthday, and a new tablecloth to give Yoongi’s parents for their anniversary. Jungkook keeps his hands clasped in his lap where he’s seated in the passenger seat, staring out the window as music plays from the speakers. It’s a soft love song. He squeezes his eyes shut and wishes away the tightness in his chest.

“Baby?”

Jungkook lets his eyes flutter open, turning his head to look at Yoongi. They’re stopped at a red light. His left hand is resting comfortably on the steering wheel, bangs tucked behind his ears to show off the earrings dangling from his lobes. His head is tilted a little, and his eyebrows are pinned together in the center of his forehead. Why does he have that look on his face?

“Do you want to get something to eat before we go home?” Yoongi asks, reaching over the center console to take Jungkook’s hand. His calloused thumb rubs over Jungkook’s knuckles, fingertips tracing the outline of his tattoos. “Hm?”

“I’m not hungry,” Jungkook says, but his stomach disagrees with him. And loudly.

It makes Yoongi laugh, at least. “Liar,” he says, pinching Jungkook’s cheek. He puts his right hand back on the steering wheel when the light turns green. “Let’s drop the car off at home and then we can walk to that coffee shop you like. It’s not too late, so they should still have the chicken sandwiches.”

Against his will, Jungkook finds himself nodding in agreement, because this is Yoongi’s way of trying to make sure that he’s okay. It’s Yoongi’s way of showing love. He always tries to take care of Jungkook in the gentlest way. And Jungkook doesn’t deserve it because what can he offer in return?

In continued silence, Yoongi drives them home and leaves his car parked in the spot reserved for them outside their complex. Jungkook joins him and lets him lace their fingers together, reluctantly following him down the street towards the coffee shop. He doesn’t want to worry Yoongi more than he already has, so he keeps quiet. Forces his unwelcome thoughts into a box and out of mind.

It works, sort of. Yoongi orders and pays for both of them when they’re in the coffee shop, so Jungkook takes a few moments to admire the art hanging on the walls. They both started frequenting this place after Namjoon showed it to them. Shortly after, the owner started hanging up Taehyung’s art on the wall, which only made their friends more keen to support the shop. Plus, the chicken sandwiches here really are amazing.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Yoongi says while they’re waiting at a table for their coffee and the sandwich. He squeezes Jungkook’s fingers and gets up, leaving him alone to await their order. The coffee shop worker brings around their drinks and the sandwich a few seconds later.

Jungkook scans the interior and his gaze settles on a pregnant woman, sitting beside a young girl. The girl keeps giggling and touching the pregnant belly, and the woman is telling her something to keep her entertained. A couple seconds later, a man sits down with a plate of cake and three forks. His gaze stays on them for at least a minute before he looks out the window instead.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tastes salt on the corner of his mouth. His chin drops in shame. He’s never going to fucking be that for Yoongi, is he?

Unfortunately, Yoongi returns not even a couple seconds after more tears begin to pour down Jungkook’s cheeks. Instead of taking the seat across from him again, Yoongi slides into the empty chair beside him and rests a worried hand on his knee. Jungkook can’t bear looking at him.

“It’s okay,” Yoongi says softly. He doesn’t even know why Jungkook is in tears, yet he still makes the effort to comfort him. Why on earth does Jungkook deserve him? “You can cry.” His mouth presses a discreet kiss to Jungkook’s shoulder, resting his cheek against it. “I’m here. Let it out. Then you can tell me what’s got you all worked up, okay?”

Jungkook nods, letting himself continue to cry until his eyes are burning and the tears are beginning to dry against his cheeks. He hiccups, resting his hand over Yoongi’s.

“Why are you with me if you want a family?” Jungkook asks, wiping the base of his chin, too afraid to look Yoongi in the eyes. “I can’t give that to you. We can’t have—a baby.”

“What?” Yoongi’s voice is low, concerned. A little bit confused. “Where is this coming from?”

Jungkook clenches his jaw and shrugs, letting his fingers fold together in his lap. “I just keep thinking about how you probably had all these plans for a family with your ex, because she was a woman.” He pauses, lips trembling, trying to hold himself together. “And I’m just me. I can’t give you a child. She could’ve.”

“Look at me,” Yoongi urges, his touch careful, shifting his hand to the bottom of Jungkook’s chin. Jungkook tries to resist, but he turns his head anyway, struggling to understand why Yoongi looks at him with so much adoration in his eyes. “I didn’t love her, okay? You know that. I don’t want a family with her. I want one with you.”

“But—”

“I’ve seen how you are with your niece and nephew.” A shy smile forms on Yoongi’s face. His thumb rubs away the stray tears still sticking to Jungkook’s skin. “You’d make an amazing father, baby. And I don’t want that with anyone else but you.”

“You really want that with me?”

Yoongi sighs—not because he’s tired of repeating himself, but because he’s disappointed that he even needs to. “I’ve looked into it, you know,” he admits, cheeks flushed, turning away to reach for his glass of coffee. He takes a sip and keeps his hands on Jungkook, being the avoidant one now. “Once we get married, we can always adopt. Be foster parents. Help kids who don’t have anyone else to help them.”

Jungkook sniffs. “I’ve thought about it too,” he says quietly. “But I just always figured—you wanted your own kids. Biological ones.”

“Family is what you make it.” Yoongi turns his head, love in the corners of his smile. “You are my family, Jungkook.”

“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Yoongi shakes his head firmly. “Nothing is wrong with you for having insecurities,” he says, taking another sip of his coffee. He pushes the plate with the sandwich closer to Jungkook. “That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook takes a bite of his sandwich, pouting in Yoongi’s direction. He doesn’t want to be insecure.

“You’re allowed to be scared,” Yoongi says, kissing Jungkook’s shoulder again. “I’m scared too. But we’re in this together, and that’s all that matters.”

The reassurance doesn’t remove the insecurity entirely, unfortunately. But Jungkook just munches on his sandwich and sips on his coffee.

He replaces the thought of Yoongi having a family with Choi Yuri, with the thought of the two of them having a family together.

They’ll have a daughter. Maybe two, if they’re lucky. Yoongi will make sure they’re extremely stylish, dressing them in the smartest outfits and the cutest accessories. Jungkook will pack their lunches every morning, the way he already does for himself and Yoongi. They’ll take their family to the park. To visit their parents, who would love and dote on them like they were biologically related to them. None of the details matter, because Jungkook and Yoongi would love them like their own. Maybe those are the thoughts he should cling to instead.

++

Weekends when Yoongi is away are not always brutal, but this particular one is taking a toll on Jungkook’s already frenzied mind. Under normal circumstances, he appreciates the time to reset on his own, reorient himself. He values his alone time just as much as he values being with his boyfriend. Missing Yoongi when he’s gone and inaccessible only makes Jungkook love him more, because when he returns, they’re both ten times more excited to be together again.

Except this time, the knowledge of Yoongi being away for a few days, on set with none other than Choi Yuri, makes his stomach do somersaults all Saturday morning. Jungkook tries to focus on something else. He takes himself out to a restaurant he’s been meaning to try in their neighborhood, but the meal doesn’t taste as good as it would if Yoongi was sitting here with him. What makes him feel a million times worse is the thought that Yoongi might like this restaurant more if he were here with Choi Yuri.

Jungkook knows his jealousy of Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend is irrational, at an exponential level. He’s been dating Yoongi for over three years at this point. He has heard Yoongi say that he doesn’t love anyone else countless times, and yet… he keeps latching onto this. Every time Yoongi even mentions her, little panic alarms start to go off in Jungkook’s brain.

He gets home from his solo lunch date and resigns himself to the couch. He tries to watch a historical drama that Yoongi recommended to him, but halfway through the first episode, he switches it off because he just can’t focus.

This is a problem that he can’t face alone.

Jungkook retrieves his phone from where he shoved it into his jacket pocket after getting home from lunch. He decidedly ignores the texts from Yoongi—not because he doesn’t want to read them, but because he needs to get this out of his system before he accidentally says the wrong thing. Instead, he opens the group chat with Seokjin and Hoseok and sends them a message.

Jungkook
Hi
Please tell me I can come over

Seokjin-hyung
You’re always welcome here my child
I’m doing groceries
If you come over, you’re required to be my kitchen assistant

Hoseok-hyung
The baby needs company!!!
Make sure you get him banana milk

Jungkook
Please do :(
I’ll be there in thirty
Get me something to get drunk off of too

Hoseok-hyung
Uh oh
Is Yoongi-hyung gone this weekend??

Jungkook
Is it obvious :(((((

Seokjin-hyung
A little
But your fathers are here for you
Come over child

Jungkook
My father lives in Busan.

Seokjin-hyung
Don’t be smart with me
Get your sorry ass over here
Or no alcohol for you

Jungkook
Okay okay I’ll be there soon

When Jungkook shows up on Seokjin and Hoseok’s front door step, he is immediately pulled into Hoseok’s arms and squeezed for every breath in his lungs.

“My poor baby,” Hoseok coos when he lets go, squishing Jungkook’s cheeks. He smiles that bright smile—the one Yoongi always says gives him a burst of energy—and drags Jungkook further into the house. “Seokjin-hyung should be home in a few minutes. Are you hungry?”

Jungkook shakes his head and leans his weight against the kitchen counter, eyes dancing around the decor. It’s been a while since he’s been here. Everything looks different. “I took myself on a date to a new kimchi jjigae place earlier,” he says, touching the lid of the cat-shaped sugar pot. He pauses and looks up at Hoseok. “I’ll have a little something if you’re eating, though.”

“I was just going to make some ramen. I’ll add an extra packet for you.” Hoseok ruffles Jungkook’s hair as he walks past, getting a large pot to place on the stove. He fills it up with water and leaves it to boil. “Where’s Yoongi-hyung this weekend?”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek. “Not sure exactly.” A lie. He knows that Yoongi is exactly a two hour drive away, in a small Chungcheong town. “Somewhere near the sea. He sent me some pictures, but I haven’t looked at them yet.”

Hoseok acquires three wine glasses from the cabinet beside the stove, and pours them each a glass of red wine. “How long is he out for?”

“Just the weekend.” Jungkook accepts his wine glass and takes a small sip. He places it on the counter and tries to stop his heart from wishing that Yoongi was here with him. “Usually I like it when he goes away for a little bit. It gives me some time to be alone, to remind myself how to be independent. And it’s fine, I spent the morning by myself, I just… I miss him.”

“It’s fine to miss him. He is your boyfriend, after all,” Hoseok says, peering at the boiling pot of water, then back at Jungkook. He smiles softly, tilting his head to the side, pieces of his dyed brown hair falling across his forehead. It’ll be torture, seeing Seokjin kiss Hoseok hello when he gets home. He can’t wait to do that to Yoongi when he comes back tomorrow evening. “You seem too down for that to be the only thing that’s going on.”

Jungkook shrugs it off. “I’ll tell you when Jin-hyung gets home,” he says, and hopes that Hoseok will forget about his deflection later. Even though he came over with the intention of sharing these ugly, jealous thoughts that run rampant in his mind, he doesn’t want to dampen their bright mood. “Just talk to me. I don’t care what it’s about, you can just talk.”

So, while Hoseok makes their ramen, he tells Jungkook about his and Seokin’s planned trip to visit some of their family members in the States early next year. They’re going to California and New York, he says, but Seokjin has also been wanting to check out some of the major amusement parks there, so there’s a couple of spots Hoseok’s planning on surprising him with for their wedding anniversary. Jungkook loves how they complement each other. They can match each other’s energies, but they can also compensate if the other feels low. There’s balance.

Does he have that with Yoongi?

Seokjin returns not long after Hoseok finishes cooking the ramen. He waltzes in, whistling, his arms overflowing with grocery bags. Hoseok hops up to help him immediately, and they share a small kiss.

“My child!” Seokjin exclaims after he’s free from all the grocery bags, throwing his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders to hug him. Jungkook musters up a smile and lets himself be squeezed tight again. “Oh, dear. You look horribly sad. Let’s fix that.”

“I’m fine, hyung,” Jungkook replies, sitting at the kitchen table with his bowl and chopsticks. He offers the best smile he can muster. “I’ll just eat my ramen for now.”

He observes while Seokjin and Hoseok dance around each other, clearing up the ramen mess and putting away the groceries. They chatter softly about the grocery prices, what they did or didn’t have at the store, and when they are next going to visit Hoseok’s parents in Gwangju. Between tasks, their palms brush over backs and shoulders, lips leaving small pecks against cheeks and noses. Their love has always been a sweet one.

Jungkook recalls their wedding, about a year ago now. He remembers how twisted up he felt seeing his two close friends finally tie the knot. He remembers the tears in his eyes at seeing Yoongi be Hoseok’s best man, seeing him dressed all pristine in a tuxedo. How intensely he felt the desire to marry Yoongi one day.

Doubt festers and clouds his thoughts, even while he helps Seokjin meal prep for the week to follow. He chops up onions and tomatoes and mushrooms, laughing with his friends while they bet on when Namjoon and Taehyung will finally make their relationship official. They’ve been making moves on each other for months now, and they probably think no one has noticed, but they all have their money on different times of the year. Jungkook enjoys the distraction even if the negativity stays brewing in his subconscious.

“Okay, no more sulking,” Seokjin demands once they’ve migrated from the kitchen to the living room. Jungkook has burned through a couple of glasses of wine by now. His head is a little foggy, in a pleasant way, but he can’t stop missing Yoongi either. “What’s wrong?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nothing,” he insists, wrapping himself up in a fuzzy blanket to watch the sunset through the long, glass windows. He imagines Yoongi is taking a picture of the sky right now. “I’m fine.”

Hoseok flicks his temple on his way to collapse on the other end of the couch. “You said you’d talk about it when Seokjin-hyung came home and it’s been a couple hours,” he says, letting his glass rest on the coffee table. Seokjin is sprawled on a bean bag chair with his hood on. Jungkook wonders why Hoseok chose to sit next to him instead of his husband. “Come on, Jungkook-ah. You’re not doing yourself any favors by keeping it in.”

“I just…” Jungkook prepares himself with a deep breath. “I know it’s stupid. That’s all.”

Seokjin shrugs. “Stupid or not, it’s bothering you,” he says, drinking his wine. His lips are stained a reddish color from drinking. “Is it about Yoongi?”

“It is.” The words are out of Jungkook’s mouth before he can stop himself. He winces and rests his chin on his knees, cheeks hot. He’s embarrassed that this is even an issue to discuss. “It’s nothing bad, I guess. I mean—I’ve been telling myself it isn’t anything bad. But…”

Both Hoseok and Seokjin sit patiently, waiting for an answer.

“Yoongi’s latest project is with his ex-girlfriend,” Jungkook spits out. “And I know it’s dumb, but I can’t stop thinking about how much happier he’d be if he was with her.”

He doesn’t miss the sorry look that his friends exchange.

“Jungkook-ah,” Hoseok says gently, reaching across the couch to rest his hand on Jungkook’s knee. “Yoongi-hyung loves you. Like, he is in love with you.”

“I know that, hyung.” Jungkook curls his legs away from Hoseok’s warm touch. Of course he knows that Yoongi loves him. It would be stupid to believe that his boyfriend of over three years didn’t love him. “I just—he was with her for two years before he met me, and I don’t like the idea of him working with her every second of every day.”

Seokjin sighs and takes another sip of his wine. “If you know that he loves you, then why are you so in your head about this?” he asks—which is a question that Jungkook has been asking himself for the past few weeks, too. The answer remains unknown.

Jungkook flares his nostrils and presses his forehead into his knees, avoiding their acute stares. “I don’t know,” he says. His voice is rough and anguished. He wishes Yoongi would come home from his stupid work trip. “There are so many things that I know Yoongi-hyung wants. Things that I feel like I can’t give him.”

“Have you talked to him about this?” Hoseok asks gently. He’s so kind with his words, so careful.

“No,” Jungkook answers, a bit annoyed. He wouldn’t dare bring this up to Yoongi again. The first couple of times were already treated like a simple joke. It’s only become more intense and he doesn’t want Yoongi to laugh at him again. “I can’t talk to him about this.”

He can’t see either of them, but he knows that they are looking at each other with concern. It’s just how they communicate. Yet again, Jungkook is struck with the painful question of whether or not he has that sort of telepathy with Yoongi.

Even though it would have been impossible to keep this turmoil inside, Jungkook still wishes he didn’t confide in them. They don’t understand.

“Sorry,” Jungkook says with a shaky breath, bringing his head up. He plasters a smile on his face, one that Seokjin and Hoseok evidently see right through. But they are good friends, they don’t push or pry. They don’t expect more than Jungkook is able to give. “Um, let’s watch a movie?”

Still, they hesitate, sharing looks, but then Hoseok breaks into a wide grin. “I have the perfect romcom for you,” he says, and grabs the TV remote.

As comforting as cozying up to Hoseok and gushing over an adorable romcom is, Jungkook can feel the piece of his soul that seeks to curl up alone under the covers. It’s the type of feeling that Yoongi is able to ward off with ease. He loves his friends, truly, but sometimes this isn’t enough. And given everything else that has been overtaking Jungkook’s mind, he isn’t able to cling to the relief his friends’ presence normally allows.

Despite this, he goes home with tupperwares full of food and an unopened bottle of scotch. Seokjin coaxes him into a hug and a messy kiss to the cheek. They know that when Jungkook is like this, there are often no remedies aside from the obvious. So, it’s not all that surprising when the last thing Hoseok says after dropping Jungkook off at the bus stop is, “Talk to him, Kook.”

They’re right. Jungkook really should talk to Yoongi about his jealousy, his insecurities. But right now, all he wants is to hear his boyfriend’s voice.

The apartment is quiet in Yoongi’s stark absence. Jungkook drags himself around like a slug, putting away Seokjin’s gift of food and opening the bottle of scotch to pour a glass. He still ends up taking the entire bottle to bed and crawling beneath the covers to drink more. That wine they drank earlier has already worn off, and he’s going to need a little bit of liquid courage to talk to Yoongi tonight.

Jungkook takes twenty minutes to nurse a glass while watching a cooking YouTube video on his iPad. As soon as the video finishes, he takes a deep breath and retrieves his phone from his jacket pocket.

Yoongi-hyung
[Photo 1: Selfie of Yoongi pouting, a star-shaped acne patch beside his nostril. His hair is falling prettily along the back of his neck. The word 사랑 is hanging from a thin silver chain around his neck.]
Lots of compliments on my “love” necklace today :)
And my acne patch
Both thanks to you

[Photo 2: The sun setting in gorgeous hues of pink, orange, and purple as waves crash upon a rocky shore. At the very bottom of the frame, Yoongi’s toes are visible, sticking out from a pair of black sandals.]
So pretty
I want to take my parents back to Jeju
We can invite your parents next time

Jungkook
[Replying to Photo 1] You’re so handsome. Never cut your hair or I’ll cry
[Replying to Photo 2] My mom still complains that we didn’t take her
But she misses you keke
Sometimes I think she loves you more than me

Yoongi-hyung
All mothers love me

Jungkook
I can’t believe you aren’t even denying it

Yoongi-hyung
It’s okay because I love you instead

Jungkook
That’s not how that works
But I’ll let it slide because you’re hot

Yoongi-hyung
Miss you

Jungkook
Me too
Today kind of fucking sucked without you

Incoming Video Call: Yoongi-hyung

“You worry too much,” Jungkook says upon answering, bringing the entire bottle of scotch to his lips. He takes a swig and grimaces at the bitter taste.

Yoongi is sprawled on his hotel bed, white bedding all around him—he still has that star-shaped acne patch pressed into his cheek, but his hair is tied up now in a small bun at the nape of his neck. This way, Jungkook is granted access to viewing his boyfriend’s beautiful eyes. He could literally stare at Yoongi all day.

“You’re drinking straight from the bottle, so I feel like I should be worried,” Yoongi responds, folding an arm behind his head. When he shifts to get more comfortable, the camera moves enough for Jungkook to catch a glimpse of a beer bottle on his nightstand. “What’s going on, baby? Why did today suck?”

“I just…” Jungkook sighs. He knows he won’t be able to admit the full truth, so he settles for a half one instead. “I just really miss you this weekend. Four days feels so long.”

Yoongi laughs quietly. It’s not degrading—Jungkook can see the love swimming in his eyes—but four days is not nearly the longest amount of time they’ve spent apart. “I will never forget the six months you spent in London,” Yoongi says, sitting up to take a drink from his beer. Jungkook mirrors his action with the scotch. He decides that he would rather be drinking it with Yoongi in bed beside him. “Then the two months in Amsterdam after that.”

“Good research opportunities are hard to come by,” Jungkook argues, pouting. He hated those eight months of long distance, but it taught them so much. Including how to value each other’s presences. At multiple stages of those months, Jungkook thought they would break up, but in the end, it only made their relationship stronger. “It’s hard to pass up when the lead researcher invited me to both labs, you know that.”

“I know.” Yoongi smiles, fond and shy. “Honestly, I miss you too. The sea always makes me think of you.”

“You’re stereotyping me because I’m from Busan.”

“You’re a little shit.”

Jungkook grins proudly. “You love me,” he says, switching off the lamp on his nightstand, letting the lava lamp on the dresser make the room glow purple. A gift from Jungkook’s childhood, one of his birthdays. “Are you having fun, at least?”

“Of course.”

“Tell me about it?”

Without even needing to ask twice, Yoongi dives into a grand story of multiple wardrobe malfunctions and hiccups throughout the last two days at this shooting location. Jungkook snuggles under the covers with his head cushioned by the pillow, the low rumble of Yoongi’s voice echoing through the speakers of his phone, and drifts off with warmth blooming in his chest.

++

Jungkook
I’m coming home early from work

Yoongi-hyung
Weren’t you supposed to have a longer day?
What happened?

Jungkook
I burned part of my hand because my gloves ripped
They aren’t letting me stay

Yoongi-hyung
Hold on
You burned your hand??
Do not take the bus
I’m picking you up

Jungkook
Hyung don’t be ridiculous
It’s a minor burn
I’m literally fine

Despite his reassurances, Yoongi immediately calls Jungkook.

“Yoongi-hyung, I’m fine,” Jungkook repeats upon answering. He’s in his office, packing up his work bag, his bandaged hand still throbbing slightly. He went through the normal procedure for accidental chemical exposure in the lab, but his boss still insisted he take the rest of the day to let it heal. “It’s your day off. Don’t come pick me up.”

Yoongi doesn’t seem to care that Jungkook is fine, though. “Shut up. I’m already putting my shoes on,” he argues, as Jungkook is slinging his work bag over his shoulder. So stubborn. “What happened?”

“It was just a minor chemical burn, hyung,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. He really doesn’t see the point in Yoongi driving all the way over here just to pick him up. “Please. I’ll be fine. It’s only thirty minutes on the bus.”

“Jungkook.”

That tone. Jungkook hates when Yoongi uses that tone on him. “Hyung,” he murmurs back, but he’s already releasing his bag onto the surface of his desk. “You’re seriously going to come all the way over here?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

The call ends suddenly after that, so Jungkook is left with no choice other than to wait. He settles in his office chair and uses his right hand to scroll through his phone, catching up on his friend’s posts and ignoring the tingling in the burned area of his injured hand. It really was a mere accident. Jungkook didn’t realize he grabbed the wrong sized gloves when he came in this morning. They were a little tight, but it didn’t faze him until there was a coin-sized burn right beneath his thumb.

It’s the first time Jungkook has made a mistake like this in his ten-year career. Such a mindless action is causing him to leave work early. Clearly he’s been distracted, because grad school Jungkook would never have risked his own safety like that. Yes, the injury was minor, but it could have been a lot worse.

Jungkook reminds himself to not show Yoongi photos of how severe chemical burns can be.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, there’s a faint knock on his office doorframe. He looks up from his phone to find their floor’s receptionist standing timidly at the doorway.

“Dr. Jeon?” Her voice is reserved. Jungkook makes a mental note to learn her name when he comes back tomorrow. “There’s a man here—Min Yoongi—asking for you. Are you expecting anyone? I didn’t see an appointment on your calendar.”

“I’ll be right there. Thank you,” Jungkook answers, pushing himself to stand, giving his bandaged hand another sideways glance. God, Yoongi is going to freak out seeing it. He dotes too much.

Nonetheless, he grabs his work bag again, and his coat, trailing after the receptionist to the foyer by the elevators. As soon as Jungkook steps out, Yoongi’s eyes widen upon seeing the bandage carefully wrapped around the burn on Jungkook’s left hand. He comes forward and pulls the bag off Jungkook’s shoulder without even uttering a word first.

“How does it feel, baby?” Yoongi asks softly, taking Jungkook’s left hand, tracing his thumb around the edge of the bandage.

Jungkook can feel his cheeks gaining color. “Hyung, I can carry my own bag,” he mumbles as he takes his hand back, pulling on his coat, not sparing the receptionist a second glance. Most people at work don’t know that he’s in a relationship. Yoongi has been here a few times, but normally behind the safety of a closed door or late nights. “I told you, I’m fine. Let’s go?”

With a reluctant sigh, Yoongi turns towards the elevators again and hits the button to call it up to their floor. “Let me see it, at least,” he says, picking up Jungkook’s hand again, furrowing his eyebrows. Just as Jungkook predicted, Yoongi is already doting on him. “Do you need to buy any ointment for it? What’s the procedure for this stuff?”

“It’s fine. It wasn’t even a harmful chemical,” Jungkook reassures, stepping into the elevator with him. Once the doors slide shut behind them, his shoulders automatically slump. Sometimes he doesn’t realize he puts up a persona at work until he’s with the people he loves again. “I just need to rinse it with cold water every day. It’s not too deep, so it should start healing by tonight.”

“Are you sure?” Yoongi’s worry is exuding from him. “I just don’t want it to get infected or anything.”

Jungkook smiles softly. “I went to school for this, remember?” He pokes Yoongi in the ribs and shakes his head at the offended look on his face. “I need to know how to treat a chemical burn if I want to work in a lab.”

“I know, it’s just—” Yoongi huffs out of his nose, and lets Jungkook step out of the elevator first when they reach the garage floor. His hand reaches for Jungkook’s again, a magnetic force drawing him in. Jungkook lets him carry it, this time. “Is there anything I can do for you at least?”

“Kiss?”

Yoongi laughs and rolls his eyes at that. He lifts Jungkook’s hand to his mouth and presses his lips over the bandage. “Is that better?”

“Yes.”

The drive back home is very quiet, but calm. Yoongi makes a point to hold Jungkook’s hand the entire way. Even once they park, he carries Jungkook’s bag again, all the way up to their apartment. This time, though, Jungkook doesn’t bother arguing. The doting is Yoongi’s way of expressing that he loves Jungkook. Plus, he kind of loves the feeling of having all of Yoongi’s undivided attention.

Once the front door is shut and his shoes are off, Yoongi drags Jungkook straight to their bedroom and throws a clean pair of pajamas at him.

“Get dressed,” Yoongi says, turning away immediately to walk back out to the kitchen. Jungkook holds the pajamas in his arms and pokes his head out of the room to see what Yoongi is doing. He’s already shuffling around the kitchen, pulling ingredients out of the fridge and a pot from the cabinet. “I don’t hear you getting dressed, baby.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You’re annoying, hyung,” he says, but still complies by pulling his t-shirt over his head. He changes into his pajama pants and shuffles over to the stove, watching Yoongi begin to assemble some kind of stew in the pot. “Come on. It’s not like I’m on bedrest. I literally just burned my hand.”

“Shut up. Go sit down, you’re not allowed to be in here,” Yoongi argues, gently pushing on Jungkook’s shoulder to urge him over to the couch. “Maybe put on a movie? This should be ready in about thirty minutes.”

Despite his instinct to argue, Jungkook trudges over to the couch and flops down with a blanket pulled over his lap. He turns on Kiki’s Delivery Service, and slouches against the cushions to watch. The aroma of warm spices fill the air as Yoongi cooks them an early lunch.

Jungkook doesn’t realize how much he takes Yoongi for granted until moments like this. Of course he loves Yoongi. He always will. But it’s days like this that remind him what it means to be in a relationship. Loving someone isn’t just about physical affection—the kissing and the sex are certainly a bonus, but loving someone is about being present for them. It’s about taking care of them when they are sick, about holding them when they are hurting.

When Yoongi finishes cooking, he brings over the steaming stew with a bowl of rice for each of them, and a small variety of side dishes. He sits down beside Jungkook, wiggling beneath the blanket to share, and uses a ladle to dish out two bowls of stew. But when he tries to pick one up, his hand jerks back with a sharp wince, and Jungkook grins wide.

“Are you sure you’re not the hurt one?” Jungkook asks as Yoongi blows on his fingers, shaking his hand back and forth like that will remove the sting. “Let me see it.”

“I am fine,” Yoongi murmurs, pushing Jungkook away. He reaches for the bowl again, this time with his sleeves pulled over his hands. He sets the stew on the small table at the right side of the couch, close enough for Jungkook to reach. “You worry too much.”

Jungkook snorts. “I worry too much?” he repeats. “Are you not the one who just picked me up from work because I burned my hand?”

“It’s valid for me to not want you to take the bus when you’re hurt,” Yoongi replies, squeezing Jungkook’s waist before going towards his own bowl of stew. He blows on the edge of the stew before spooning out some rice and dunking it in. Jungkook takes a careful sip and shuts his eyes at the spice spreading throughout his belly.

They settle into a comfortable silence while they eat. Jungkook clears out his bowl of stew and rice, adding kimchi and bean sprouts in between. He ends up finishing Yoongi’s leftovers after a few minutes. Another perk of having a boyfriend is being able to eat his food when he doesn’t want it anymore.

Yoongi wraps his arms around Jungkook’s waist beneath the blanket, so Jungkook shifts his arm to rest across his shoulders, making room for him to sit as close as possible. The way his head rests in the crook of Jungkook’s neck is perfect, he thinks. Yoongi is perfect.

“I want a cat,” Yoongi says suddenly as Kiki’s familiar, Jiji, appears on the screen in all his sassy glory. “We had a cat when I was a kid. It was orange. Her name was literally Koyangi.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. This is the first time he’s hearing about a childhood cat. “You had a cat?” he asks, shifting his body to look at Yoongi properly, but still holding him in some way. Yoongi stares up at him, as if he’s the pinnacle of innocence. “Wait, you want a cat?”

Yoongi tilts his head. “Yeah, of course,” he says, looking back at the TV screen. He’s chewing the inside of his cheek. “I always have. Really want a black cat like Jiji.”

“Really?”

“I just said so two times, baby.” Yoongi looks at him again, confused. But a smile breaks through his features only a few moments later. “Why are you so shocked?”

To be honest, Jungkook is unsure why he’s so shocked. It was just the last thing he expected. Yoongi likes animals a normal amount, but he’s never been obsessed over them like Jungkook can be. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me you wanted a cat, that’s all,” he says, pursing his lips. “Why didn’t you?”

“No reason. I guess it never came up. How’s your hand?”

“I don’t believe you.” Jungkook pulls his hand away from Yoongi’s inquisitive view. Especially because he is clearly avoiding the question. “If you want a cat, hyung, we should get a cat.”

Yoongi shakes his head and turns back to the TV screen, dismissive. “We don’t have time to take care of a pet, baby. Having a cat is just… an ideal,” he says, settling back against the couch, his shoulders strung up high. But truly, Jungkook doesn’t understand why Yoongi isn’t open to having a cat. He would love having any pet, even if it meant sacrificing time and money for it.

They only make it through the next ten minutes of the movie before Jungkook manages to speak up again. He isn’t sure why, but Yoongi’s hesitance is continuing to bother him.

“We really should consider getting a cat,” Jungkook says softly, curling his pinky finger around Yoongi’s thumb to get his attention. Those sharp, angular eyes settle on him—stoic, stern. Too serious for Jungkook. “We can always make time. It’s like a, um, trial run. For kids.” He pauses, scanning the blankness of Yoongi’s expression. He never knows what Yoongi’s thinking when he’s like this. “What is it, hyung?”

Instead of responding, Yoongi picks up the remote and pauses the movie. He lets out a sigh, twiddling his thumbs. For a while, he doesn’t say anything. He just sits in the quiet, letting it bubble into a simmer between them. Jungkook is impatient by nature, but he bites his tongue while Yoongi sorts out his thoughts.

“I think I’m just…” Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, clearly dismayed. This wasn’t something he was expecting to talk about, Jungkook figures. They both hate being caught off-guard. Yoongi’s hand slides over Jungkook’s knee, seeking comfort, so Jungkook offers it through an open palm. “I’m scared, Jungkook-ah. I am—terrified. And it’s so difficult to say that to you. Because I know you want things, and I don’t want to be afraid to give them to you. But sometimes I am.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Jungkook replies, rubbing Yoongi’s pink knuckles. He smiles when Yoongi looks up at him again. “You’re allowed to be scared. Didn’t you say that to me a few weeks ago? That we can be scared together.”

“Baby…”

Jungkook leans in to press a kiss to Yoongi’s lips, short and soft. “I would seriously get a pet cat with you,” he says, nudging his nose gently on Yoongi’s ear. “It’s scary to me too, trust me. I don’t know what you want sometimes. And I have to try filling in the blanks when you go all quiet and pensive on me. But that’s fine, because I love you and I know you. I will always want what you want.”

Yoongi sniffs dramatically and turns his head away to mumble, “You didn’t want to go home with me after our first date.”

That was over three years ago now. Jungkook didn’t think Yoongi still held that grudge. “I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with me, you know that,” he complains back, poking Yoongi a few times in the ribs to try and get him to break, but his expression is locked. “You’re so dramatic, hyung. I literally share a home with you now. You can’t complain.”

“I can’t,” Yoongi admits with a shrug and a pleased smile. “I just like making you feel guilty for it.”

“Hyung, that’s mean.” Jungkook pouts, just as Yoongi leans forward to plant a kiss on his lips.

Yoongi sighs, stroking a few hairs away from Jungkook’s forehead. He’s got that fond look in his eyes, the one that makes butterflies flutter around in Jungkook’s stomach. “Thank you, baby,” he whispers, cupping his hand around Jungkook’s face, his thumb tracing a line across his cheekbone. Jungkook’s cheek warms under his touch. “You’re right. We should be scared together.”

Content, Jungkook turns back towards the screen and reaches for the remote. “You should listen to me more often,” he says, hitting play again. “I’m always right.”

All he gets in return is a playful squeeze to his waist. He knows it’s just Yoongi’s way of saying thank you again. He sinks into it and counts his blessings—with Yoongi at number one on his list.

++

Jungkook doesn’t hear the little beeps of the front door’s keypad or the sound of Yoongi’s footsteps as he sauteés a mixture of vegetables to add to his dinner spread. Music is playing through the expensive, fancy, bass-boosted soundbar that their friends gifted them last Christmas, window wide open to let in the cool, fresh air. There’s a cigarette in his mouth even though Yoongi hates when Jungkook smokes inside the apartment—hence the window.

He only really notices Yoongi’s presence when that cigarette is plucked right out of his mouth.

“Hey, I was smoking that,” Jungkook whines, turning around with the wooden frying spoon still in his hand.

Yoongi scowls as he takes the last hit from the cigarette, then crushes the butt in the ashtray on the counter. There are two other cigarette butts in there from today—Jungkook may have been anxiously chainsmoking after finishing his work for the day.

“You know better, baby. Smoke gets in the walls,” Yoongi murmurs, disappointedly, resting his hand on Jungkook’s waist to pull him in for a kiss. Jungkook kisses him back with a soft sigh, then goes back to his vegetables when the oil in the pan begins to pop. He gives them a little stir and smiles a little when Yoongi hugs him from behind, forehead pressed against his neck. “I’m so exhausted. I can’t wait to finally be finished with this project this week.”

“When’s the last day on set?” Jungkook asks, letting the spoon rest on the counter so he can turn around and hold Yoongi’s waist.

Yoongi looks up at him with a sigh and drooping eyes. “Day after tomorrow,” he murmurs, pressing his face into the crook of Jungkook’s neck. He settles there, so Jungkook rocks them back and forth, resting his cheek on the top of his head. “We should take a trip somewhere. A week. Just us.”

Jungkook pulls away and tilts up an eyebrow. “You want to go on a trip?” he asks. It’s not unheard of—but it’s a difficult notion to come by when his boyfriend is a notorious workaholic. Yoongi will complain about his exhaustion, then two days later, he’s back to work on another project. Jungkook had to force a vacation upon him last summer.

“We deserve it,” Yoongi says softly, rubbing the tension out from the small of Jungkook’s back. He kisses Jungkook on the lips and squeezes him gently, hands falling back down to his sides. “Think about it. I’m going to shower. You can eat without me.”

Jungkook steals another kiss from him before letting him go, and returns to frying his vegetables. While he finishes up his cooking, and sets the table for the two of them, he ponders over where he would want to visit with Yoongi. It reminds him of when Hoseok shared the details of his and Seokjin’s upcoming trip to the U.S., but Jungkook believes he and Yoongi have both been there enough separately to need to visit together. Maybe somewhere else in Asia…

He runs through their options while shoveling pork belly and vegetables and rice into his mouth. Japan is always viable. But then there’s Thailand—Yoongi has always talked about wanting to see Bangkok—and Jungkook sort of wants to visit Hong Kong. They both agreed they wanted to see India after Namjoon took a solo trip there. But… there is also the rest of the world to consider. He’s heard Marrakesh is beautiful. He should do his research.

The thought of a vacation sucks Jungkook into a void while he tidies the kitchen, washing the dishes he used to cook, and everything he ate with. Yoongi is correct, they definitely deserve it. They both work tirelessly. Jungkook avoids touching work when he’s not on the clock, but it’s inevitable. If there’s nothing to do, and he knows there’s work to get ahead of, then his laptop comes out and that’s that.

Yoongi emerges from their bedroom humming, hair still damp from the shower. He spoons out a bowl of rice from the rice cooker and sits at the table, checking his phone. Something makes him pause, but he still takes the time to respond to whatever he sees. Jungkook pouts; he spent all day working from home and now Yoongi’s ignoring him.

Before Jungkook can open his mouth and complain about this, Yoongi is looking up at him, asking, “Do you want to go out to dinner on Monday? With someone from work?”

“Someone from work?” Jungkook repeats hesitantly, wiping down a clean bowl with a towel, so he can place it in the cupboard. “Who?”

“Yuri,” Yoongi says casually. “She wants to have dinner with us.”

A stone drops into the pit of Jungkook’s stomach. That can’t be a serious question.

Right?

“You want me to have dinner with your ex-girlfriend?” Jungkook asks, just to clarify. He doesn’t realize how tightly he’s gripping the pair of chopsticks he used for dinner till the metal begins to heat in his hold. “Do you realize how that sounds?”

Yoongi doesn’t seem fazed by any of it. “It’s just dinner. Her treat, after not seeing each other for a while,” he explains, which is even more ridiculous than Jungkook thought it was. What business does she have treating them to dinner? “Come on. It’s not a big deal.”

“You don’t get to tell me what’s a big deal or not,” Jungkook mutters back in response, because he genuinely cannot fathom being okay with having dinner with Choi Yuri.

“Baby. Are you serious right now?”

Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose and keeps putting away the dried dishes. His eyes hurt. He wants another cigarette, and then to sleep.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi says, curt, worried. He only uses Jungkook’s name when he’s particularly upset. “Is this really an issue?”

“Yes, because I don’t want to have dinner with your fucking ex-girlfriend, hyung.” Jungkook doesn’t know why his brain has chosen to be hostile about this, but there’s no going back. He’s pissed. And it’s high time that Yoongi acknowledges it. “Are you even hearing yourself? You want me to sit down and actually have dinner with her. You must be out of your mind.”

Yoongi sighs quietly. “It’s not an unreasonable request,” he says, poking at his food, head lowered when Jungkook glances over his shoulder. “It’s not like we hurt each other when we broke up. We just didn’t have feelings for each other anymore.”

“Hyung, I don’t want to hear the details of your past relationship,” Jungkook snaps, turning around completely just to find panic lighting up in Yoongi’s eyes from across the room. His stomach sinks. They try not to lose their tempers at each other, but Yoongi is better at practicing patience than Jungkook. He takes a deep breath to try and settle the ugly feeling squirming around in his chest. “Fuck. I’m sorry. Just—give me a bit to calm down and we can talk about this after.”

“Okay.” Yoongi sniffs, a little troubledly, and goes back to eating.

Instead of finishing with the dishes, Jungkook swipes the ashtray, his cigarette pack and lighter, and heads out to the balcony. He makes sure to close the door behind him before sitting down and lighting up a cigarette. Smoke curls into his lungs, tobacco on his tongue. The buzz of nicotine settles into his skin almost immediately.

He thought he put this weird jealousy behind him. He knows that Yoongi loves him, and hypothetically, that’s the only thing that matters. Except, Jungkook can’t help but fixate on the fact that Yoongi has a real past with Choi Yuri. They were together for two years, and Yoongi was only single for a few months before he started going out with Jungkook. Even worse—Jungkook had met Yoongi right around the time they broke up. And he remembers Yoongi being sad about it.

Jungkook smokes his cigarette and tries to sort out his thoughts. His brain doesn’t like this. Any idea of Choi Yuri gives him a negative feeling. But, at the end of the day, Yoongi is correct.

He’s sure that Choi Yuri is a kind person. That she’s been there for Yoongi while he struggles to bond with other crew members on set. In fact, that should be the reason that Jungkook agrees to this dinner. Because if it weren’t for her, Yoongi would be utterly lonely at work. As much as Jungkook would love to be there for him, it’s not practical.

Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t want to agree to this, despite everything. But he also knows that it will make Yoongi happy. And anything that makes Yoongi happy is worth doing.

He pushes himself off the stool and returns inside, to the cold, quiet kitchen. The lights are all switched off aside from a small lamp by the front door, and the music that previously thumped through the speakers is muted. Jungkook turns off the soundbar and collects his phone, tiptoeing back to the entrance of his and Yoongi’s bedroom.

Comfortable as ever, Yoongi is sprawled out on their bed, head cushioned by an arm, ankles crossed. His phone is in one hand as he scrolls, sounds of a video quietly playing out of his phone speaker. Jungkook pauses in the doorway and leans his head on the doorframe, just watching him. It would feel wrong to deny Yoongi a chance to thank the person who’s given him support over the past six weeks.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says quietly, dropping his chin to let his long hair shield his vision. His fingers curl around the doorframe. He’s too afraid to move, in case Yoongi is still upset about his response. “I know I overreacted. I appreciate that you asked me to come with you.”

“Actually,” Yoongi says. “It was her who suggested bringing you along.”

Jungkook looks up at him, eyebrows furrowing as he watches Yoongi sit up and gesture him closer. “I feel like such an asshole,” he says as he sits on their bed, legs criss-crossed, his hands sliding into Yoongi’s waiting, welcoming grasp. Tears cling to his eyelashes, but he refuses to be a crybaby about this. “She must be really nice, huh?”

Yoongi smiles a little. “You’d like her,” he says, squeezing Jungkook’s hands. “If she wasn’t so busy, I’d probably keep in touch with her more often. And you would have to be okay with that.”

“I know.”

“Why is this such a big deal to you?”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek and shakes his head. He still can’t really identify why Choi Yuri makes him fume with jealousy. “Most people aren’t friendly with their exes,” he settles on saying, with a short shrug. Tries to come off as nonchalant about it. When really, nothing about this makes him feel nonchalant. “I’m just not used to it. I dated some pretty terrible guys before you. I mean, you know that. So… I don’t know. Hearing you have a decent relationship with your ex-girlfriend is a bit weird to me.”

Yoongi’s gentle touch travels up to Jungkook’s ear, tugging on his lobe as his smile grows wider. “You’re cute when you’re worked up,” is all he says, resting his hand on Jungkook’s jaw, swiping his thumb across his cheek. “It’s fine if you think it’s weird, or different. It is a bit unusual, I can admit that. But Yuri’s a really great person.”

“I believe you,” Jungkook says. “So… Dinner, then?”

“Dinner on Monday. I’ll pick you up from work?”

Jungkook offers a reluctant nod. He still isn’t one hundred percent sold on the idea of dinner with Choi Yuri, but he’s willing to try. For Yoongi, he’ll truly do anything.

Even if it means having dinner with the one person he loathes to meet.

++

With his ass seated firmly in the passenger seat of Yoongi’s car, Jungkook is beginning to question what the hell he’s gotten himself into. As soon as he got into the car five minutes ago, Yoongi began to ramble about the restaurant that Choi Yuri chose and its high-rated reviews and the lavish menu. They both have a massive love for food, but fine dining has never been either of their styles. Jungkook can’t imagine why Yoongi is so excited for this dinner when he typically doesn’t care for fancy eateries.

Then it occurs to Jungkook that Yoongi must be buzzing at the idea of having dinner with Choi Yuri. The thought makes his stomach curl, and he’s so busy scowling at the window that he flinches a little when Yoongi touches his elbow in concern.

“You’re quiet, baby,” Yoongi says softly, as they’re idling at a red light. His hand slides over the tattoos on Jungkook’s exposed forearm, down to squeeze his fingers. Jungkook immediately goes to unroll the sleeves of his button-up shirt, and doesn’t answer. “You okay?”

Jungkook sniffs and shakes his head. “I’m just tired,” he manages, which isn’t a lie, so Yoongi doesn’t blink twice about it.

“At least it’s a holiday and we can sleep in together tomorrow,” Yoongi says, and offers another quick squeeze before resting his palm on the steering wheel again. He glances over with a soft smile. “I kind of missed spending my mornings with you.”

As they wind through the city, lights sparkling along the glowing horizon, Jungkook fights to keep his irritation under control. Letting his emotions dominate his actions tonight will not play out well for him. Being civil is the only path towards making Yoongi happy this evening. Besides, it’s only a couple of hours and then they get to go home.

But the moment they pull into the basement parking garage of a twenty story hotel near Namsan Tower, Jungkook’s hopes of a civil evening plummet. He doesn’t trust anyone who eats in hotel restaurants when they aren’t guests.

Nonetheless, he keeps his lips sealed shut while Yoongi parks in an empty spot by the exit and trails after him with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. He opted for a slightly more casual look this morning, which he regrets now, as they take the elevator up to the restaurant floor with a well-dressed older couple. Jungkook clenches his hands into fists and takes a deep, steadying breath. Maybe if he looks at Yoongi, the nerves will dissipate.

Jungkook redirects his gaze to Yoongi’s side profile. With his hair tucked behind his ears, and a small amount of blush patted into his cheeks, he looks breathtaking—like an unreal, magical being standing out of place in this undeserving world. The deep blue button-up he’s wearing clings to his shoulders, looks gorgeous against his shining, pale skin. Jungkook pulls his right hand free and slips their fingers together. Yoongi looks up at him, blinking slowly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

God, Jungkook loves him. Loves him enough to be at this damned hotel to eat dinner with Choi fucking Yuri.

As they step out on the restaurant level, Jungkook immediately learns that this is a steakhouse. It sort of pisses him off more because he really loves steak, and he would rather not eat steak with Choi Yuri.

They trail past the hostess, still hand-in-hand. Jungkook’s gaze dances across the guests sitting at their tables, sharing bottles of wine and champagne, eating steaks of various sizes. It all looks mouthwateringly delicious. Jungkook huffs through his nose and keeps following Yoongi through the restaurant, to a private balcony. The food better be worth it if they made the effort to come all the way here.

“Yoongi-yah!”

Jungkook almost gags. What business does she have calling him Yoongi-yah?

Sitting at a table set for four, is none other than Choi Yuri.

It’s irritating that Jungkook has to acknowledge that Choi Yuri is objectively very beautiful. She matches every classic beauty standard that Korea upholds for women. The slender, pointed shape of her nose and soft jawline reminds him of a small, innocent child. Her eyes flutter with her polite smile, eyelashes fanning out over her rosy cheeks. She reaches out to give Yoongi a hug, and he goes into it with his hand still clasped around Jungkook’s.

Jungkook almost forgets to plaster a smile on his face. He’s chronically nice to everyone, so despite how he feels about her, he bows slightly in respect and says, “It’s great to finally meet you.”

“You too, Jungkook-ssi,” Choi Yuri says with a returned bow, her eyes crinkling up as a true smile breaks through. Her teeth are perfect. Jungkook is immediately annoyed. “Come, sit. I just got here a couple minutes before you did, so I haven’t ordered yet.”

Yoongi releases Jungkook’s hand to pull out one of the chairs, resting his palm on Jungkook’s back to guide him into his seat. He sits beside Jungkook, with Choi Yuri directly across from him. Already, Jungkook can feel himself slinking into the shadows.

“How does your first day off in weeks feel?” Yoongi asks as he turns open the menu, a section of his bangs draping on his cheek when he tilts his chin forward to read. Jungkook doesn’t even touch his menu. He can’t stop staring at the earrings on Yuri’s ear lobes, long and sparkling, nearly touching her exposed collarbones. “I finally got to call my mom. She’s been leaving me angry voicemails.”

Yuri laughs. “Mine too,” she says, pushing her straightened hair towards her back, showing off her shoulders. Her dress is bright white, off-the-shoulder with a low-ish neckline. Enough for Jungkook to see some ink creeping up the center of her chest. Naturally, his eyes glance down at the tattoos on his hands. Does Yoongi have a type, then?

He jumps when Yoongi touches his shoulder. “What?” he asks, drawing in a sharp breath.

Yoongi stares at him, tilting his head to the side. He doesn’t say anything yet, but Jungkook knows that he’s asking himself what could be making him so defensive. “Yuri asked you a question,” he says softly after a few moments, dropping his hand down to rest on Jungkook’s knee, a reassuring presence. “You doing okay, baby?”

“I’m fine, hyung,” Jungkook answers—a lie, a big, fat lie—and pushes Yoongi’s hand off his knee. He doesn’t need that. He can be normal. “I’m sorry, Yuri-ssi. What was your question?”

They make small talk for the next couple of minutes, the easy stuff. Jungkook talks a little about working in the lab, and what it was like to work towards his degrees while living abroad. He does his hardest to keep his tone light and friendly, especially because Yuri is making an effort to include him. He should, at least, make an effort in return. That’s what Yoongi wants out of him.

But after giving their dinner and drink orders to the waitress, the conversation soon moves away from being about Jungkook and towards the past that lies between Yoongi and Yuri. It’s nauseating to listen to, and Jungkook can’t even figure out why. Because he knows he has Yoongi’s heart, through and through. What does it matter that Yoongi is reminiscing with a girlfriend he had almost four years ago?

He starts making a list in his head as the night goes on.

It matters because Yoongi laughs differently with her. When Yuri mentions the first time Yoongi tried asking her out—during which he got rejected—he nearly doubles over in laughter, burying his grinning face in his palm. It’s the laugh he does when he’s truly, deeply amused. He never really laughs like that with Jungkook. Only once in a while, when Jungkook makes a fool of himself.

It matters because Yuri stops looking in Jungkook’s direction, and at some point, so does Yoongi. He knows it isn’t intentional. They are sucked into a conversation about the director they worked with on this most recent project, so there’s no reason for Jungkook to contribute. But as Jungkook slices through his ribeye, he is forced to observe how Yuri’s hand flies across the table to touch Yoongi’s knuckles every time she laughs. It’s too obviously flirtatious that Jungkook sees red for a few seconds.

It matters because when Jungkook is preparing to finally escape this godforsaken dinner, Yuri suggests taking the elevator up to the rooftop terrace, where they have a stunning view of Namsan Tower and, apparently, a bar. Yoongi doesn’t even flinch when he agrees. He doesn’t even turn to Jungkook to check if he wants to head home instead. Normally, he does. He always checks with Jungkook first, so what makes tonight different?

Before they head up to the bar, Yoongi excuses himself to take a brief phone call from his dad, leaving Jungkook alone with Yuri near the elevators.

“Did you enjoy dinner?” Yuri asks, looking up at Jungkook. Her face is pure, gentle.

“I did,” Jungkook says. He tries to see what Yoongi might’ve found attractive in her, but he can’t pinpoint anything in particular. Maybe it was her long, slender legs—but then again, Yoongi always praises Jungkook’s thick thighs, so maybe not. “Thank you for inviting me along. I appreciate it a lot. Our work lives don’t clash often, so it’s nice to meet someone that he works with for once.”

Yuri shows off her perfect smile. “Yoongi is great at what he does,” she says fondly, crossing her arms over her chest, rubbing her bare skin for warmth. Jungkook briefly wonders why the hell she would come to dinner without a coat in winter. “I don’t know if you know, but it’s how we first met. During one of my earliest projects.”

Unfortunately, Jungkook did know. But for her sake, he plays dumb. “Really?” he asks. “What was he like?”

“He was so serious and broody,” Yuri says with a laugh, glancing over her shoulder to look at Yoongi. Jungkook’s eyes follow her gaze, to where Yoongi is hovering in a side hallway, talking on the phone, repeatedly running his hands through his hair. Phone calls with his dad always get on his nerves. “I had no idea he liked me until he first asked me out. And I thought, ‘what the hell?’ because he was just this angsty set costumer that dressed me every day.”

“Clearly you changed your mind about him.”

“You do a lot of things for love.”

Jungkook swallows around the lump in his throat. His head is pounding with how furious that one sentence makes him—as if she knows a thing about loving Yoongi. He’s been in a relationship with Yoongi for longer. He knows Yoongi better. He loves Yoongi more.

In his periphery, Yoongi hangs up his phone call with a small huff and types out a short text with one hand. He stuffs his phone in his coat pocket and returns to the elevator waiting area, brushing his hand over Jungkook’s waist. But the touch does not linger the way it normally does.

“I’m sorry to do this, Yuri-yah, but I have to go check on my parents,” Yoongi says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s nothing new. Yoongi’s dad gets freaked out at every minor mishap. They’re just lucky that they live close enough to take care of whatever the issue is. “My dad called me all pissy because something’s up with his glucose meter. I’m sorry, really.”

Yuri shakes her head, smiling. “Don’t even worry about it, Yoongi-yah,” she says, reaching out to give him another hug. This time, Yoongi welcomes her in completely, finishing it off with a squeeze. “Thank you for agreeing to dinner with me. Say hi to your parents for me, okay?”

Bile fills up in Jungkook’s throat. He has to force himself not to vomit his dinner everywhere.

They bid each other final goodbyes. Jungkook and Yoongi take a separate elevator back down to the basement parking garage. The whole way, Jungkook’s head is swimming with confusion and anger. He can’t even look at Yoongi without feeling sick to his stomach.

When he sits in the passenger seat, he resolves on staying silent during the entire ride to check on Yoongi’s parents. It only lasts a grand total of five minutes.

“That steak was so good,” Yoongi says out of nowhere, leaning back comfortably with both hands on the steering wheel. The watch that Jungkook’s mom gifted him for his last birthday is peeking out past the edge of his sleeve. “Did you like the food, baby?”

Jungkook shrugs and rubs his nose. He doesn’t want to talk about this. Or at all, if he’s being honest. “It was fine,” he mumbles in response. Rubs his eyes to give off the illusion that he’s tired.

Still, Yoongi goes on. “I’m really glad you came with me,” he says, touching Jungkook’s knee for just a few, brief seconds. When he pulls away, Jungkook’s body tingles in his absence. “I don’t know how to explain it, but Yuri has been a really big part of my life, and my career. I wouldn’t be where I am without her. And she helped me so much with this project, it’s crazy.”

Stop, Jungkook thinks. Stop talking about her.

“She’s so cool, too. Really funny. Just a great person to be around. I think you—”

“Pull over.” Jungkook can feel the sweat pressing through his clothes. He’s pissed. He doesn’t even breathe as he waits for a response. When all he gets is silence, he repeats, “Pull over now, hyung.”

Yoongi doesn’t. Instead, he asks, “What’s wrong?”

Jungkook clenches his fist till his fingernails are pinching into his palm. “Pull the car over,” he says again, and this time, Yoongi does.

As soon as the car is in park, amber emergency lights flashing through the shadowy evening, Jungkook removes his seatbelt and gets out. The fresh air in his lungs is a relief as he wheezes for breath.

The sound of Yoongi’s car door slamming hits Jungkook’s ears like static. His vision is blurry with angry tears, and he jerks away from Yoongi’s outstretched hand before it can send him spiraling somewhere even darker.

“What’s happening, baby?” Yoongi asks, still holding out his hands like Jungkook will take them this time. His eyes are brimming with concern, waiting, patient. Always patient, always perfect. Everything that Choi Yuri could love in a person. Everything that Jungkook could love in a person. “Talk to me. Let me help.”

“If you want to talk about how great your fucking ex-girlfriend is, maybe you should go back and date her again,” Jungkook spits out between heaving breaths, wiping the sweat off his forehead. It’s a vicious thing to say, he knows, but he doesn’t care anymore. This evening was hell on earth for him. “Like fuck, hyung! Do you have any idea how shitty I’ve been feeling for weeks?”

Yoongi’s expression morphs; he goes from concerned to confused in seconds. “Jungkook, what?” he asks, afraid. His voice is small. He doesn’t explode the way Jungkook is falling apart right now. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Where is this coming from?”

Jungkook is too fired up to stop the tears from dripping out of his eyes, hot and wet as they rush over his face. “Choi fucking Yuri, hyung!” he snaps, watching how that tone makes Yoongi flinch away. “She’s all you’ve been talking about to me since you picked up this project. I don’t want to hear about your stupid ex. I don’t want to hear how great she is or whatever the fuck. I’m your boyfriend, remember? Don’t I matter?”

“Jungkook-ah, I didn’t know you’ve been feeling that way.”

“Of course you didn’t, Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook replies, laughing at how lost Yoongi sounds, wiping his chin with the back of his head. “You brushed it off. You thought it was a joke. How were you supposed to know if you didn’t even bother to care in the first place?”

Hurt spreads over Yoongi’s eyes. “Don’t say that,” he says quietly. “I care.”

Jungkook flares his nostrils. “Fuck,” he mutters, scrubbing his face again, trying to get his body to listen to his mind. The rational part of his brain is battling to be in control, but the petty, jealous side is winning that fight by a landslide. “I’m sorry, I—I can’t.” He turns away, staring down the alley that Yoongi stopped them in. Following this empty road feels more safe than getting back into that car with Yoongi. “I need some space, I think.”

“Jungkook, please. Please don’t walk away from me right now. Please.”

He’s begging, and yet— “I’m sorry,” Jungkook chokes out through a cry, pressing a hand over his mouth.

Then he runs forward, down the dark and empty street, with Yoongi calling out his name after him. Running away is the only thing he knows how to do when he’s scared out of his mind.

Jungkook only makes it as far as two streets over before he collapses on a pyeongsang outside of a convenience store. His chest is tight with his overflowing emotions, pain steeping in with his anger. He curls his knees to his chest and presses his wet eyes into the heels of his palms.

Why did he have to lose his temper at such an inopportune time? Why didn’t he just wait to talk to Yoongi in a calm, collected state of mind?

Now Jungkook is alone in a random side street of Seoul, soaked in the convenience store’s violent white lights, and wondering why he allowed his jealousy to consume him to this extent.

After crying out the last of his tears, and pulling himself up to hobble into the convenience store and buy a six pack of banana milks, Jungkook tries to look at the entire situation with an objective perspective. As furious as that entire evening with Choi Yuri was, he doesn’t actually hold malice towards her, or Yoongi. He understands that friendship is allowed to bud between exes. And it isn’t like Yoongi was doing anything to indicate that he’s cheating on Jungkook.

The thought makes Jungkook squeeze one of the milk cartons, spilling banana milk all over the front of his button up shirt. Yoongi would never cheat. If he ever lost feelings, then their relationship would be over. Jungkook knows that as an unequivocal fact.

Jungkook finishes his sixth banana milk carton before he fishes his phone out from his jacket pocket. Of course, there are two missed calls and about half a dozen texts from Yoongi over the course of the last half hour, ranging from fervent worry to reluctantly accepting defeat.

Missed Call Yoongi-hyung

Yoongi-hyung
Jungkook-ah, I know you’re upset, but please pick up so I know that you’re okay
I just want to know that you’re safe even if you need space

Missed Call Yoongi-hyung

Yoongi-hyung
I’ll wait here for another ten minutes, but then I have to go to my parents’ house

Yoongi-hyung
I’m sorry, baby

Yoongi-hyung
My dad already called me twice, so I need to leave. Please text me. I’ll be home in an hour
I love you

Tears gather at the edges of Jungkook’s eyes. He can detect the desperation in Yoongi’s tone, even through text. It was foolish of him to believe, even for a moment, that Yoongi’s heart lies elsewhere.

Yoongi loves him. Yoongi loves him. Not Choi Yuri, or anyone else—he loves Jungkook. That matters. He feels like a gold star idiot for doubting that. Of course Yoongi loves him. They have been together for nearly four years. If this isn’t love, then Jungkook’s not sure what is.

This is the love that he knows, and he is not letting it go. He will never let Yoongi go.

Jungkook gathers himself—the scattered bits and pieces of his fractured confidence—and locates the closest bus stop using his phone. There is some much-needed explaining to do, and it would be cruel to make Yoongi wait any longer. With a deep, belly-filling breath, Jungkook goes home.

++

When Jungkook is standing on his own front door step, he wonders if Yoongi is even home. By the time he read Yoongi’s messages, an hour had already passed. He hasn’t received another one since—no indication that he made it back from his parents’ house. Jungkook’s palms get clammy at the thought of seeing Yoongi after exploding at him earlier tonight. He’s embarrassed just thinking about his own actions.

He does the brave thing and gently types in the code to their front door—the day they met, in reverse order—and pushes the door open with his shoulder. Inside, everything is still; darkness and shadows swallow the stale air he steps into the entryway, only the faint silhouettes of furniture and the leftover stench of cigarette smoke. Jungkook silently shuts the door behind him. He toes off his shoes, catches a glimpse of Yoongi’s strewn boots by the shoe rack.

Jungkook sighs and rubs at his stinging eyes. Now that he’s here, the reality of facing Yoongi is weighing down on him, an unwelcome burden of needing to be truthful. But he needs to be honest with himself, with Yoongi, because the longer this jealousy is left unaddressed, the worse it could become.

He tiptoes through the darkness, one hand on the wall to feel his way to their closed bedroom door. A faint yellow light is seeping through beneath the door’s undercut, shining over Jungkook’s bare toes. Silence is still heavy around him, so he’s guessing that Yoongi might be asleep.

When he pries the bedroom door open, Yoongi is there—waiting with one hand clutching his phone and a half-empty bottle of soju on his nightstand. He doesn’t notice Jungkook entering, because his eyes are shut and breathing slow, his head tilted towards the view from their bedroom window, at the dreary night sky plagued by Seoul’s bright lights. Jungkook’s guilt thrums beneath his skin, a second heartbeat.

Jungkook does his best not to wake him. He treks around their bedroom with light footsteps, clearing away the soju bottle and getting dressed for bed. Yoongi doesn’t stir in the fifteen minutes it takes Jungkook to wash up; he doesn’t even move much when Jungkook coaxes him underneath the covers, pulling the blanket over his bare arms. He barely gets a soft grunt of acknowledgement.

He curls up on the mattress beside Yoongi, the way he does every night, and attempts to fall asleep too. No matter what he tries, though, his eyes remain wide open. By the time he gives up on the idea of rest, it’s at least been an hour and a half since he got home.

Instead, he focuses on the subtle rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest as he breathes, the glow of his skin against the fluorescent purple lava lamp. He wishes Yoongi would wake up and tell him that everything will be okay. That he isn’t angry, that Jungkook was right. But Jungkook is well aware that those wishes are far from becoming a reality. Yoongi can love him and still decide to end their relationship.

The idea of Yoongi ending their relationship makes his lungs ache.

Careful not to disturb him, Jungkook scoots closer to Yoongi’s warm, solid presence and places an arm around his back to pull him in.

Somehow, after two hours, this is what prompts Yoongi to shuffle and wake. His eyes flutter open, and his mouth parts in a wide yawn—his head lifts to check the time on Jungkook’s alarm clock. He flops back down with a sigh, smacking his lips and blinking into the darkness. It takes a few moments for him to realize that Jungkook is here.

“I was so worried about you,” Yoongi murmurs softly, letting their noses rub together. His hand cradles the side of Jungkook’s face, the tips of his fingers dragging over his ear, through his scalp. “You scared me, running away like that.”

Jungkook buries his face into the pillow, making himself smaller to fit into Yoongi’s welcoming arms. “I know,” he replies, muffled by the fabric pressed against his cheek. One of Yoongi’s hands slips underneath Jungkook’s t-shirt to trace his back. “I didn’t mean to blow up. I just… couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I get it.”

“Do you?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and lets it through his mouth. “I’m trying to,” he amends, pressing his lips to the side of Jungkook’s jaw. “You should’ve told me that you were dealing with all of these feelings and thoughts. I could’ve helped.”

That’s the sad thing—Jungkook did try to share how he felt, but it got passed off as a joke. Eventually, explaining himself was pointless, so he stopped sharing. At the same time, refusing to open up to Yoongi is exactly what drove him to this tumultuous situation. By letting the negativity fester, he blew up.

“You laughed at me,” Jungkook mumbles quietly. “Whenever it came up.”

“I would never laugh at you.”

Jungkook sniffs, and tries for a smile, but with all the turmoil rolling around in his chest, it doesn’t feel genuine. “But you did, even last Friday,” he says, pressing his mouth against the edge of Yoongi’s forehead as he speaks. It’s the intimacy that truly makes him feel safe. “We didn’t really talk about why I got angry. You just brushed it off, and that was that.”

Yoongi’s fingertips dig into the tense muscles on Jungkook’s back. “You told me that it was because you couldn’t understand how I am friendly with my ex,” he says, sounding rightfully perplexed. “Were…” He pauses, uncertainty hanging in the air. “Was that a lie?”

“Not entirely.” Jungkook can’t dodge the bullet anymore, so he lets it pierce his skin; lets the honest truth finally spill from his lips. “I’m jealous, hyung.” His breath shudders. “I don’t think that’s what you wanted to hear, but that’s it. I’m jealous when you talk about your exes, but especially when you talk about an ex-girlfriend you see on a daily basis. Someone you could’ve ended up with forever.”

“You have nothing to be jealous of, Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi says softly.

Jungkook wishes that were true. “I have everything to be jealous of, hyung,” he replies with his jaw clenched tight. “You said it yourself earlier tonight—she’s cool and funny. You have all these memories with her. You laughed harder when she told jokes. You—you ignored me in favor of looking at her.”

“I have never ignored you.” Yoongi pushes himself up and reaches over to his nightstand, turning on the light. Jungkook’s vision floods pale yellow, the color creeping up half of Yoongi’s face, the other half a shadowy gray. “Is that really what you think? That I’d leave you for a woman I broke up with before I even met you, because I didn’t love her?”

“That’s not the point,” Jungkook insists, because it really isn’t the point. It’s not about Yoongi leaving him—it’s about Jungkook not being enough in comparison. He sits up too, shoulders slumped, hands pressed into his lap. “You’re still not getting it, are you? I’m jealous because I know I’m not enough for you. I don’t think I ever can be. And when I look at her, I see someone who is perfect for you.”

Unexpected tears form in Yoongi’s eyes and slip down his cheeks. “I love you,” he says brokenly, hands trembling where they lay empty and open on top of his thighs. Jungkook’s heart aches with the desperation those precious words are uttered. “Don’t you know that, Jungkook-ah? I love you more than anyone I have ever loved before. What do I need to do to prove that to you?”

“You don’t need to prove it to me,” Jungkook says, starting to reach out for him, but Yoongi is off the bed faster than he can blink. “Hyung?”

Yoongi doesn’t answer. He squints as he looks around the room for something, rummaging through the pile of miscellaneous shit that gets tossed into a corner when Yoongi gets home from work. Jungkook keeps his lips sealed for another minute while Yoongi keeps searching for god knows what. When Jungkook finally realizes what’s happening, he’s too paralyzed to even move.

“Hyung—”

“Marry me.” Yoongi has gotten on one knee in the middle of their bedroom. A velvet box with a breathtaking silver band nestled inside is in his hands. It’s two a.m., and he’s asking Jungkook to marry him on a random Tuesday morning, after one of the worst fights they’ve ever had. “Marry me, so you’ll never have to doubt my love for you again. Marry me, so you can know that you’ve always been more than enough for me. Marry me, so I can thank my lucky stars every day for the rest of my life that I have the privilege of loving you.”

Jungkook’s vision has gone blurry by the time he manages to clamber off the bed and join Yoongi on the floor, choked up, his aching heart beating in earnest. “You want me to—?”

“Marry me,” Yoongi repeats. His eyes are glittering with tears; sorrow and hope meet somewhere in the middle like the push-pull of yin and yang. “I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to marry you. But it took me even longer to figure out how to tell you.”

“How long?” Jungkook asks, unable to tear his gaze away from Yoongi’s glowing face.

Yoongi pinches his lips between his teeth, suppressing a smile. “Since our one year anniversary,” he admits, still balanced on one knee with the box in his hand. He lifts it a little higher; pale light reflects off the stones, glittering in the darkness. “So, will you?”

“Will I what?”

“You’re gonna make me say the whole thing?” Yoongi rolls his eyes with a sniff, and Jungkook giggles so he doesn’t cry even harder at how inexplicable all of this is. “Jeon Jungkook, please, will you do the honor of marrying me?”

Jungkook chews the inside of his cheek for a couple of seconds, pretending to consider his answer, even though he knew what it would be the moment he saw Yoongi drop on one knee. “I will,” he finally says, shaking his head as relief smooths out the worry that started to creep into Yoongi’s face. “Did you really think I’d say no?”

“After all of that, I honestly couldn’t be sure,” Yoongi says with a meek chuckle.

Nevertheless, Yoongi shuffles closer with the ring held between his fingers. He cradles Jungkook’s left hand in his, and pushes the ring onto his finger till it’s snuggly pressed on. It fits perfectly, gleaming purple from the lavalamp’s intrusive glow. He rotates the ring around his finger and pulls it off once he feels his skin brush against an engraving. When he peeks at the inside, he sees their anniversary date engraved with the word 사랑 beside it.

“As jealous as I can get,” Jungkook starts, looking up at Yoongi with a smile that makes his cheeks hurt, “I also know that as long as my heart belongs to you, yours belongs to me, too.”

“It never stopped being yours,” Yoongi says, reaching forward to settle his gentle hands on Jungkook’s waist. His gaze is tender as he pulls Jungkook into him, chests pressed together, bodies exchanging warmth. “And I’m sorry. About all of this. I never expected you to feel jealous about my friendship with Yuri.”

Jungkook shakes his head fervently. It isn’t Yoongi’s fault, by any means. This explosive fight has everything to do with Jungkook’s unprecedented jealousy. “I should be the one apologizing,” he mumbles, sliding closer so he can settle comfortably in Yoongi’s lap. The wide expanse of his palm presses up against Jungkook’s back, steady. “I wish I didn’t avoid talking about the way I felt, because I knew you would understand, but I still didn’t want to acknowledge it. And that’s my fault. I turned us into a mess.”

“Don’t, baby. Blaming yourself like that isn’t worth it.” Yoongi presses his lips firmly to the side of Jungkook’s head, rubbing his hand up and down his back. Jungkook hiccups against his will, silver ring digging into his hand when his fist curls. He has to bury his face in Yoongi’s shoulder to keep himself from breaking into tears again. “I love you, okay? We can move past this.”

“I know, I’m just—” Jungkook lets out a shaky sigh. In spite of his efforts to stay calm, his eyes are wet again. “I’m still sorry.” His words are muffled against the soft fabric of Yoongi’s sleep shirt. He sniffs and draws back to peer into Yoongi’s kind eyes. “You deserve to be friends with Yuri, okay? The way I feel about that shouldn’t change it.”

“It didn’t,” Yoongi says quietly, rubbing the tears away from Jungkook’s cheeks. With this ring now on Jungkook’s finger, he silently hopes that Yoongi will always be here to wipe away his tears. “Besides, if you really got to know her, you would realize you both have a lot in common. You could be friends, you know.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek and tries to suppress his smile at Yoongi’s optimism. “Baby steps, hyung,” he replies, letting Yoongi pull him into a warm, loving kiss.

Yoongi pulls back, helping Jungkook back to his feet, and presses the velvet box into Jungkook’s palm. “I hope you never give that back to me,” he says, eyes twinkling. Jungkook can’t resist yanking him into another kiss, cradling his face between his hands. Yoongi is grinning when they part again. “I can’t believe I finally asked you. Wow.”

“I can’t believe I had no idea,” Jungkook says with a laugh, looking down at his hand again; at the band that will now become a permanent fixture on his ring finger for the rest of his life. “It’s really beautiful, hyung.”

“Your mom helped me pick it out,” Yoongi murmurs, touching his ear shyly, red flush spreading beneath his skin. He escapes Jungkook’s grasp and returns to their bed before Jungkook can tease him about that, burying himself beneath the heap of fuzzy blankets overtaking their bed. Only his eyes are visible by the time Jungkook joins him.

“When did she help you?” Jungkook asks, poking Yoongi’s stomach as he sits criss-cross, staring down at the fond look in Yoongi’s eyes. He is so unbelievably lucky to be this loved. “Hyung. Come on. Please tell me.”

Yoongi makes room for Jungkook to cozy up against him, lifting up the comforter. “Last year. Christmas in Busan,” he murmurs, as Jungkook happily presses his body firmly against the side of Yoongi’s, listening to the steady beat of his heart when he lays his head down to rest. “She was really happy for you, baby. She wants the best for you—for us.”

Jungkook smiles into Yoongi’s chest and replies, “I knew I could count on her.”

For a short while, they just lie there in content, together with nothing else in the world mattering beyond these four walls. Jungkook has to remind himself to cherish these moments. Because nights like this—where their hearts are thumping in sync and Yoongi’s love is thrumming through his veins—remind him of what’s important. Being here, with Yoongi, will always be a priority. Loving Yoongi is a gift that he will never, ever take for granted.

“I need to tell everyone,” Jungkook eventually mumbles, half-asleep, reaching for his phone.

He grabs it from his nightstand and extends his hand below his phone camera, taking a photo of the ring on his finger, then makes sure to take a selfie of them, even while Yoongi is drifting off. He composes a message to send to the friends’ groupchat and tries to contain how giddy the idea of getting married makes him feel.

Jungkook
[Photo 1: The gorgeous ring that Yoongi proposed with sitting on Jungkook’s left hand, with the white bedding as a blurred background underneath and a purple hue spilling in from out of frame.]
[Photo 2: Jungkook smiling so wide, his cheeks ought to hurt. Yoongi, on the other hand, has a half-smile on his face and his arm protectively across Jungkook’s torso, heads tipped together. They look happy.]
We’re getting married!!!!

Park Jimin
OH MY GOD
FINALLY

Jungkook
I know!!! :D
I can’t wait
I’m already thinking about the wedding colors
I’m thinking white and peach

Namjoon-hyung
Congrats guys :)
Not excited for you to become even more unbearable

Jungkook
Fuck you

Jungkook
Sorry that was Yoongi-hyung
He’s grumpy because we’re not asleep
But he has a point!!!! You and Taehyungie-hyung need to kiss already
Not my problem that you haven’t

Namjoon-hyung
Delete that.

Jungkook
No!
Goodnight! I will be a married man next year!

Park Jimin
Oh god
You’re right
He’s about to become even more annoying

++

The weight of Yoongi’s resisting arm is heavier than Jungkook imagined as he drags him down a busy street, skin buzzing with excitement.

“Where are you taking me?” Yoongi whines as Jungkook trudges forward with their fingers clenched together, dodging distracted commuters to get where they need to go.

It’s Friday, a mere three days since Yoongi knelt on their bedroom floor and asked Jungkook to marry him. Their life as fiancés is not grandly different from being boyfriends, except Jungkook has made a poignant effort at work to show off his ring whenever his hands are not covered by gloves. He’s gotten a few ooh’s and ahh’s from some of the women he works with, and his boss gave him a curt nod of approval with a short congratulations as he passed Jungkook’s office on Tuesday afternoon.

Last evening, they managed to swing by a jewelry store and Jungkook picked out a ring for Yoongi to complement the one they already have. A simple silver band, engraved with 사랑 and the same anniversary date as Jungkook’s—it’s classy and sleek, perfect for Yoongi’s slightly more subdued sense of style. Jungkook squeezes Yoongi’s hand just so he can feel it pressing back into his skin.

“Baby,” Yoongi whines again, this time when they’re stopped at a traffic light. Jungkook is intentionally wearing Yoongi down before reaching their destination, because that’s all part of the surprise. And he really does hope that Yoongi won’t be upset by the surprise. “What is up with you, huh? Where are we going?”

“Secret,” Jungkook huffs, folding his arms over his chest. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a dramatic sigh. “I shouldn’t even bother. So stubborn,” he says, accentuating the word with a jab to Jungkook’s middle. Jungkook yelps at the twitch in his muscles and covers his mouth with a quick apology to the tall business man who glances back at them in clear irritation.

When he looks down at Yoongi, he’s struggling to keep his laughter contained, lips pinched between his teeth, hand pressed to his mouth.

“You’re annoying,” Jungkook grumbles under his breath. He latches onto Yoongi again and drags him across the street with only their final destination in mind.

Even once they arrive, Yoongi hasn’t caught onto where they are until they’re stepping through the threshold. All around them are cats. Varying colors and breeds, sizes and age—fluffy cats and shorthaired cats, excited ones and lazy ones. Only a handful people are scattered on the inside of the shelter, which is great for them, because that allows Yoongi the chance to explore all his options. They won’t be going home without a little addition to their family.

“Why?” Yoongi asks, looking up at Jungkook—his expression is painfully neutral, that Jungkook panics for a moment. Till he notices the small smile beginning to curve onto his mouth, as a gray kitten slides past them, squeezing between Yoongi’s feet. “This is like… a lot of cats.”

Jungkook laughs softly, resting his hand on the small of Yoongi’s back so he can push him forward. “Go,” he says, nodding towards the cat tower with at least five kittens lounging around. “Find the one that speaks to you, and it’s yours.”

Instead of listening, Yoongi turns towards him, a bit confused now. “What do you mean?” he asks, curling his hand around Jungkook’s wrist. “It’s mine?”

“You said you wanted a cat.” Jungkook tucks some hair behind Yoongi’s ear and smiles. “Let’s get you a cat, hyung.”

With another nudge, Jungkook sends Yoongi forward, and he watches how the hard exterior melts away to show off the soft, giddy man he has grown to love. Jungkook stays back as Yoongi plays with the kittens, taking pictures and videos, and talking to the shelter employee about which kittens might be most suitable for their lifestyles. Yoongi wasn’t wrong before—they’re both restricted for time—but that’s a hurdle they can easily jump over. He knows it.

The shelter employee introduces them to a small, gray kitten who immediately takes a liking to Yoongi. She circles him where he’s sitting on the floor, sniffing his fingers in suspicion, before nuzzling the top of her head against the palm of his hand. Like she’s meant to be there, she climbs into Yoongi’s lap and settles right on his hip, closing her eyes to sleep. Even from where Jungkook is sitting a couple feet away, he can hear her low purrs buzzing through the air.

“She likes you,” the employee says with a small smile, nodding her head in approval. Jungkook reaches over and lets the kitten scope out his hand before running his fingers through her soft, short fur. “We rescued her from a building that caught on fire. Poor thing was traumatized, but we’ve done a lot of work to get her comfortable with people again. We also think she can’t see very well.”

“She’s so cute,” Jungkook says, scratching the base of the kitten’s chin. She tilts her head up to accommodate. Clearly she has no issue with either of them. “What’s her name?”

The employee rolls her eyes, suddenly amused by something. “We have a part-time high school kid working with us sometimes. He named her Smoke.”

An abrupt laugh falls out of Jungkook’s mouth before he can control himself. “Isn’t that funny?” he asks Yoongi, nudging their knees together.

“I’ll let you two get acquainted with her,” the employee says with a short bow, then goes to help a mother and her daughter.

Intrigued, Smoke climbs across Yoongi’s thighs to circle around him again, then over Jungkook’s hands where he’s leaning them on the floor. She immediately gets distracted by a toy the Yoongi picks up, and leaps after the feather attached to the stick that he’s holding. He waves it around midair, and watches in clear fondness as she tries to catch it in her paws. Personally, Jungkook thinks she’s perfect.

“What do you think, hyung?” Jungkook asks after a couple more minutes, when Smoke has decided she’s too good for the feather toy and has moved onto playing alone in a tunnel.

Yoongi folds his hands in his lap and looks up at Jungkook, eyes all soft. “She definitely likes us,” he says, looking back at her with nothing but adoration. In some giddy part of Jungkook’s mind, he imagines that one day Yoongi will look at their kids like that. But, one step at a time. They need to worry about getting married before having a family even becomes an option. “I just… I worry if she has any respiratory issues. From the fire.”

“We can always ask,” Jungkook says, resting his hand over Yoongi’s to squeeze it. “Even if she does, I have no issues with spending my money on veterinary care. We have the resources. Especially if it makes her more comfortable and healthy.”

“You’d do that?”

Jungkook shakes his head at Yoongi’s surprise. “I’d do anything for you,” he says, leaning over to press his lips to Yoongi’s cheek. Even if they’re out in public. It makes Yoongi flush all the way down to his neck. “And I’m gonna be honest, Smoke is a really badass name for a cat.”

“Reminds me that we should probably quit smoking.”

“We always say that, and yet never do.”

For another ten minutes, Jungkook observes how Yoongi interacts with Smoke and a couple other kittens and ultimately decides that the relationship he’s forming with Smoke is the strongest one. Even if she’ll require additional attention, he’s confident that any of their five friends will be more than content to care for her while the two of them are occupied by work. Plus, Jungkook is starting to love the special little smile Yoongi gets on his face when he’s playing with Smoke.

While Yoongi keeps their new little one occupied, Jungkook takes the chance to talk to one of the shelter employees about Smoke’s health, and the paperwork he filled out a few days ago. He started this process before Yoongi even proposed to him, but he’s still grateful that the timing worked out perfectly. He didn’t want to get their hopes up by visiting before they were able to bring a kitten home. But once he confirms that they’ll be set to bring Smoke home today, he rejoins Yoongi with a smile so wide his cheeks ache.

“We’re good?” Yoongi asks, eyes slightly widened. Smoke is curled up in his lap, asleep as he strokes her fur.

Jungkook nods in confirmation. “I took care of everything before so we could just pick the best match and leave. The worker said that her lungs are okay, but to definitely get her checked often in case something develops.”

“That’s a relief.” Yoongi looks down at Smoke and his smile automatically grows. “See, your appa already cares so much about you.”

“Is that supposed to be me or you?”

Yoongi sniffs and shrugs. “Both,” he says, looking at Jungkook like there’s no one else in the world but them.

God, they’re so in love with each other, sometimes it makes Jungkook’s chest hurt.

The shelter employee provides them with a few cans of cat food, cheap litter and a litter box, and a spacious carrier. They take the subway home with the carrier across both their laps, and Smoke is asleep throughout the entire journey. Jungkook is impressed by her ability to stay calm in such a busy, noisy environment like the subway station. Reminds him a bit of Yoongi, he thinks fondly as he looks over at him. They’ll certainly be a great fit for each other.

At home, Smoke explores the apartment while Yoongi and Jungkook prepare dinner—some grilled beef with chopped vegetables. They don’t talk, don’t really need to. The fleeting touches and lingering glances are more than enough. With a ring on his finger, Jungkook has no reason to doubt Yoongi’s love for him. Even before, the part of him that would follow Yoongi to the ends of the earth knew that he would always love Jungkook back.

They serve dinner and eat together, while Smoke nibbles on the canned food that the shelter employee gave them. Jungkook watches her while he chews; he’ll have to buy some treats and toys to keep her occupied. Kittens need endless attention.

“Thank you,” Yoongi says out of nowhere, while he’s cleaning out his bowl of rice. His eyes are focused on his spoon scraping the last grains into one small mouthful. “I don’t know if I said that yet. But thank you, Jungkook-ah. For making this a reality.”

“I love you,” Jungkook says. “I’ll do anything for you, remember?”

Yoongi barely suppresses his smile. “I know that,” he replies quietly, like admitting such a fact aloud is foreign. But even though three years is nothing next to the rest of their lives, Jungkook knows that sometimes, they need to remind each other of that simple truth. “You’re going to make an amazing husband.”

“You’ll be more amazing-er,” Jungkook argues with a pout.

“That’s not a word, baby.” Yoongi rolls his eyes fondly, and finishes his food. “What do you want to do this weekend? I don’t have any work until Tuesday next week.”

Jungkook hums, thinking, resting his chin in his palm. “I think me, Taehyungie-hyung, Hobi-hyung, and Jimin-hyung were going to go drink tomorrow night. You wanna come?”

“Eh. You guys can go have fun. I’ll see if Namjoon and Seokjin-hyung want to do something.”

“Okay, hyung. Offer’s always open.”

When the doorbell rings, Smoke freaks and scampers into their bedroom. Turns out that she’s an easy scare.

Yoongi looks at Jungkok, confused. “Are we expecting anyone?” he asks, as if Jungkook could possibly forget if they were hosting. He becomes a maniac when they have people over—at least two hours notice so he can clean the place.

“No?” Jungkook raises his eyebrows and checks the front door camera on his phone. Instantly, he rolls his eyes and stretches his arm across the table to show Yoongi who’s waiting on the other side. “Should we even let them in?”

“They have cake,” Yoongi says, pointing to the screen.

Jungkook blinks a couple times and looks at his phone again. “Can you open the door?” he asks with a sheepish smile and a pleading look.

Yoongi gently kicks him underneath the table. “The things I do for you,” he mumbles. He takes his dirty dishes to the sink and heads for the front door.

As soon as it swings open, their five friends are pushing inside and spilling into their apartment. Hoseok is carrying the cake with an excitable grin over his lips, immediately heading for the kitchen table to place it down and smack a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead. Somewhere across the room, Jimin and Taehyung are harassing Yoongi about the proposal story. The other two are standing at the entryway like they regret coming over at all.

“Aish, enough,” Yoongi whines, batting Jimin’s clingy hands off his shoulders to return to the kitchen and slide into the seat beside Jungkook. Automatically, Jungkook’s gaze is drawn to the glint of silver on his left hand and smiles a little as he intertwines their fingers. Despite how annoyed Yoongi looks, there’s a hint of fondness and appreciation beneath it. As usual. “If you’re going to be here, do us a favor and clean up. I’m tired.”

“Forever lazy, hyung,” Namjoon says with an eye roll, sitting in the chair that Yoongi was in before the chaos raided their serene apartment.

Seokjin loops his arm around Taehyung’s elbow and drags him towards the kitchen sink, although he goes while complaining like a toddler. “You’re on washing duty. Don’t pretend you don’t love doing dishes,” he says with a smack to his ass with a pair of rubber gloves. Taehyung takes them with a grumble, and Seokjin turns to the rest of them, smiling at Hoseok. “Sweetheart, can you pick up their dishes and bring them here? And Jimin-ah, get out the boxes for the leftovers.”

Namjoon frowns and points at himself. “What about me?”

Yoongi scoffs. “You’re a walking hazard,” he says, stealing a pickled cucumber before Jimin snatches it away. Jungkook turns his head to watch Jimin shuffle over to the counter and start rummaging around for boxes. “There’s a reason you weren’t named. Just sit there and look pretty.”

“You’re very handsome, Namjoon-hyung,” Jungkook agrees, facing him again, giggling at the disdained look on his face. He figures Namjoon doesn’t care for the compliments unless it’s coming from Taehyung. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t give me a warning. I would’ve cleaned up myself.”

“Don’t worry, they’re doing all the hard work for you, baby,” Yoongi says with a squeeze to his hand, eyes turned towards their four friends bouncing around the kitchen in a rush to finish up.

Namjoon sniffs a couple of times and asks, “Why does it smell like tuna if you guys ate beef?”

Against his will, Jungkook glances down at the half-eaten bowl of cat food beneath the table and just offers a shrug. They’ll figure it out soon enough. If Yoongi doesn’t want to disclose the fact that they just adopted a kitten, then Jungkook won’t make their friends privy to it either. The suspense is more fun, anyway.

Once the kitchen is tidy and the table has been wiped clean, Hoseok makes a fuss out of taking pictures of Jungkook and Yoongi with the cake “Congratuwating” them on their engagement. The words are scrawled messily with purple icing, with that horrendous typo and everything. Jungkook has a hunch that Taehyung had a hand in decorating the cake, but he just presses his lips to Yoongi’s cheek and appreciates everyone’s effort to celebrate with them.

“Cut it!” Hoseok says, giddily pushing forward a cake knife.

Jungkook takes a hold of it and lets Yoongi’s hand wrap around his own. Together, they slice a triangular piece of cake and serve it onto a plate. Jungkook scoops up a bite in a spoon, but when he goes to feed Yoongi, all he does is press the frosting into his nose.

“Jungkook-ah!” Yoongi complains, wiping his face with his fingers. He swipes frosting from their slice of cake and smears it across Jungkook’s cheek. The whole time, Hoseok is snapping away, treasuring this moment. “Why can’t you just feed it to me like a normal person?”

“Jungkook is the least normal person I know,” Seokjin says, taking charge of cutting six more slices, pushing one towards Yoongi.

Jungkook pouts. “I’m normal,” he grumbles, which only makes everyone laugh. Hoseok even ruffles his hair. He smacks Yoongi’s arm and pouts harder. “Aren’t I normal?”

Instead of answering, Yoongi presses a short kiss to his jaw and whispers, “I love you regardless.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” Jungkook whispers back, but still accepts that as a reasonable answer. Yoongi loves him, which really is all that matters.

After finishing up the cake and storing the leftovers in the fridge, they migrate over to the couch and settle with a beer each. Jungkook sits with Jimin clinging to his side, and Yoongi leaning back between his knees, allowing him access to play with his hair. Seokjin and Hoseok take the corner beanbag, like usual, winding their arms around each other. And Taehyung has decided to throw himself into Namjoon’s lap. None of them mention the “secret” kiss that Namjoon presses to Taheyung’s ear.

Jimin sneezes in the middle of Namjoon’s story about a disrespectful drunk customer. Jungkook turns towards him; the area around his eyes is already irritated. He itches them and sneezes again, snatching up a tissue to stuff up his nostrils.

“What is happening?” Jimin complains, rubbing his eyes again—they’re starting to get bloodshot. Maybe they should’ve told everyone about Smoke…

From inside the bedroom, Smoke lets out a whiny meow. Jungkook fails at hiding his smile and watches Yoongi clamber to his feet to bring her out.

“Oh my god, who is this cutie?” Hoseok asks, reaching his hands out to take Smoke. Unsurprisingly, she goes with him willingly, pawing gently at his chest.

“No wonder I’m all stuffy now.” Jimin rolls his eyes, and despite his allergies to cats, leans forward with his hands outstretched. “Gimme.”

Yoongi settles down on the floor again and guides one of Jungkook’s hands to the top of his head. “We just got her today,” he says while Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair and past the nape of his neck. There’s a light tone to Yoongi’s voice that tells everyone in the room that he is inexplicably soft for this kitten. “Her name is Smoke. It was Jungkook who took us to find a cat for me.”

“I never knew you wanted a cat, Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, reaching over when Smoke gets passed into his arms, letting her climb over his shoulders, across Namjoon’s chest, over the back of the couch. Jungkook loves that she’s so comfortable with them already. “I mean, she’s super cute. I have nothing against you having a cat. Why is her name Smoke, though? Because she’s gray?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “The shelter rescued her from a fire, and the part-time kid who works there named her that,” he says, squeezing Yoongi’s shoulders once. “Me and Yoongi-hyung agreed that it fits her.”

Eventually, Smoke curls up on Yoongi’s thighs and starts purring.

“Wait, I’m curious,” Namjoon says after concluding his story, turning his head towards Jungkook. “I don’t think you guys have told us the engagement story yet.”

Yoongi lets out a soft chuckle and squeezes Jungkook’s ankle. “Well, it’s kind of a long story,” he says, looking over his shoulder with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Why don’t you tell it, baby?”

With everyone’s eyes steadily on him, Jungkook presses his thumbs into the flesh of Yoongi’s neck and says, “It started when I got jealous of Yoongi-hyung’s ex-girlfriend.”