Chapter Text
“Parkour was never about making or failing a jump. It was about getting up and trying again. The parkour god told me as long as you can parkour, there is always a way. And in my parkour civilization, people will always have a chance to try again.”
…
Evbo made it so everyone could respawn. Fall into the void? You come back at the noob level. Die to fall damage? You come back at the noob level. Lose a parkour battle? Once again, back to the noob level. Just because there were totems of undying didn’t mean dying was forever. Now that he was the parkour God, he could revive anyone, even those who had been dead for years, and couldn’t come back since dying under the Evil Champion’s rule meant permanent death. He even brought back the Evil Champion himself (and put him in the new Parkour Prison, serving his respective 50 years, obviously). Aside from the Old Man and the Parkour Villain, Evbo made sure everyone could respawn..
So where in parkour prison was Seawatt?
Being the Parkour God was a lot like being the Champion. Just think of a rule, a structure to be built, an item to spawn, and- boom! Out of thin air, where you want it to appear, there it is. Tiny saplings could ascend into mighty oaks within a split second. Massive shops and houses were created, block by block, in the blink of an eye. And people simply… came back.
Except, with being the parkour champion, you had to do a four block jump, and it had to be at the fifth layer. As a God, just like in his race with the Parkour Villain, things materialized in his hands, or wherever Evbo wanted them to. Anytime and anyplace. So bringing Seawatt back was supposed to be simple.
Who knows, maybe he had respawned the moment he died, like everyone else, and scurried away into hiding…again… ugh. All this thinking was giving Evbo a headache. He wasn’t very used to it, to be honest. Thinking, that is.
He sat on the quartz floor and hunched over, heavily uncomfortable, with his head in his hands.
“Urghhhhh…” he groaned, before hearing familiar footsteps made by a familiar pair of diamond boots. It was EMF’s house, after all. Evbo had only recently become his roommate. The former master wanted to stay living in it, despite being the current champion, who could have any house he desired. Evbo decided he might as well live with him, considering how much they enjoyed each other’s company. Though the house was kind of lame compared to something Evbo would’ve thought of (a bouncy house made out of slime blocks? or something themed after himself? if he were still champion, there’d be plenty of statues of a figure with diamond boots..), he supposed people clung to the past, no matter how lame. How shockingly relevant, with his current deep fascination with Seawatt.
“Hey, Evbo,” EMF remarked, “You doing alright?”
Evbo could only stare for a moment, forgetting how to move his mouth, until he muttered, “I… uh, yeah.”
EMF stared down at him as well. His face was hard to look at, (considering it’s basically a black void with the outline of two eyes) but his eyes looked pitiful and empathetic. Evbo wished Seawatt had ever looked at him that way.. was he really only a tool to him?
“...ou sure?” Evbo heard him say.
“What?” Evbo asked, as EMF sighed.
“Dude, you’re totally zoning out again,” the champion told him. “I don’t want to push you, but you’ve gotta make a choice. Move on, because you might be better off without Seawatt, or…”
Evbo’s eyes were getting misty. He faced the ground.
“I…don’t know.” he clearly saw the condition the blonde was in. “Or.. do something about it, ‘cus as much as I don’t like the guy, I’m afraid all the stress will kill you.” EMF sighed once more, and gave him that look again, before placing a (platonic, might I add) kiss on his forehead. “I’ll leave you be, Evbo.”
As he heard EMF’s boots making that clanky sound against the floor again, yet this time, walking away, Evbo could only stare at them. Why didn’t Evbo think about what kind of man Seawatt was? Of course. Evbo was acting…narcissistic. He couldn't believe he just forgot about what Seawatt did to everyone else. Seawatt was the right hand man (probably more, damnit) to The Evil Champion, someone contributing to the starving of noobs, forcing labour upon the pros, and building a phobia of death for everyone on every layer. No one tried to rank up because they were scared, and that’s without knowing the courses were impossible. Not to mention, everything he did at the fighter level, to EMF, and Evbo himself. Evbo had to live up to the other Parkour God’s expectations,- “..you have convinced me that there are those in this world worthy of wielding my power.”-he couldn’t just betray him and let someone like Seawatt roam around because.. because Evbo… because Evbo wanted Seawatt to teach him brewing stand jumps!!! Yeah, yeah, that was it.
But alas, Evbo knew EMF was right.
He knew what to do. He’d check the library in the fighter realm. That had to give him some answers on recovering Seawatt and the other chainmail boots..
He took his red polka dotted fabric and tied it around a comically large wooden stick, preparing to set up for his journey. (Yes, he could spawn items at will. But, like, this was Evbo. He’d do anything for cinematic or comedic effect. And to be honest, taking something like that on a journey was a delightful mixture of the two.) And of course, the essentials packed into it. Exhibit A: Raw chicken. Terrible for hunger bars, terrible for saturation, almost terrible for the tongue. Though, it reminded him of a simpler time, the time when he was still a noob, with only one block jumps to worry about each day. No pressure to save an entire civilization or anything. It could be a long way to finding what he was searching for, so he wanted to bring some comfort along the way. Exhibit B: Golden carrots. Practically self explanatory. Perfect for gaining hunger points. Not to mention, they tasted pretty okay. Exhibit C: Evbo’s water bucket. To not take fall damage, obviously. And Exhibit D: A stack of wood planks. A last resort, in case worst comes to worst, and Evbo needs to get into a parkour battle with someone. He just hoped that someone wouldn’t be…well..
With a face towards the setting sun, and a heavy heart, Evbo took his first jump to his answers. Then another, and another. Until the fear of falling melted away as it usually did, and parkour became as natural as breathing to Evbo. With nothing to worry about, his thoughts were empty and free to be flooded with, hopefully, a near future.
Seawatt and him, parkouring until they ran out of breath.
Seawatt and Evbo! Just the two of them. And- and EMF too.
He shut his eyes to vividly daydream. Evbo could parkour with them closed anyway.
…
Would they parkour together, all the time?
Would they laugh about Evbo’s worshippers leaving offerings at his temples?
Or make food together, like the stew Seawatt used to cook for him on the fighter level?
Maybe they’d make up whole new parkour courses.
A chill filled the air, and Evbo opened his eyes once more.
The stern features of the moon’s face startled Evbo, making him flinch.
He knew why she glared at him in such a matter. He thought over why he wasn’t going to save Seawatt, but rather imprison him, just a few hours ago. Had it been hours? Minutes, maybe? Evbo looked in front of him.
There it was, the entrance to the fighter realm. It wasn’t much of an entrance, simply a wooden bridge that ended in the void. He hopped to the start of the bridge in silence. If running was one’s legs shouting, Evbo’s boots were at a low whisper. Finally, at the bride’s edge, he realized how long it had been since he first arrived in the fighter realm. 3 whole months. And 2 months since he had seen Seawatt.
Honestly, at the end of the bridge, it was less like a void and more like EMF’s starry skin, glittering and beautiful, like the galaxy itself.
Well, he was looking at the galaxy right now. Obviously..
Maybe he could sit for a while, at the end of the planks. Did he really want to do this? He should’ve left Seawatt behind a long time ago, when he died, after all, Seawatt worked with horrible people, one of which for years–
Evbo couldn’t help but sigh at himself.
He moved his legs firmly to stand up, and stepped off the ledge.
...
And the moment after he thought, felt, and dreamed of everything and all he could, his eyes closed to make everything around him and everything inside him disappear, into the night sky.
No whipping wind, no fear of death.
Like a lightswitch, Evbo’s world flicked off.