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Ivanna sat in the bar alone. This wasn't unusual. Moscow, for all its talk of working class solidarity, did not bring people together like her home did. So she often found herself drinking alone after a long day at the market. And the beer was shit. Not for the first time she wished she was back in Uzhhorod, where the bars were full of animated voices. But tonight was different. She was supposed to be meeting someone here. That annoying American. What was her name? Twila? What a weird name. But she had not shown up. Nothing new. Sometimes people just vanished. Especially loud, annoying Americans who spoke no Russian and made so many demands. They never lasted long in this city. Maybe it was better if she didn't show. That woman was nothing but trouble. Trouble that Ivanna didn't need. She was probably back in America now, driving a fast car and watching a movie, or whatever capitalists did. With a sigh, she finished her pint and made the cold walk back to her apartment.
The streets of Moscow seemed particularly dark and lonely tonight, but she didn't hurry. Nobody ever hurried unless you had to. That was the way of things. But why did it have to be that way? Twila hurried. She pushed. She made demands. She lived like a whirlwind. Pizdets, why couldn't she stop thinking about Twila? The woman made it feel like life, maybe, could be different. Exciting. Why hadn't she come? Best not to question. Not in this city. So Ivanna did her best to stamp down the traitorous feelings swirling inside her. Nothing good could come of them. Still, sleep did not come easy that night.
For the next two days, as Ivanna worked her market stall, a small part of her wished that Twila would show up. Maybe she'd make another outrageous demand, and Ivanna would tell her, "No, not this time. You didn't keep your end of the bargain." And that would be that. She would be rid of that woman forever. That would be nice. Her life would go back to normal. Boring, but safe. No more Americans with their big hair and flashy clothes asking her about the rare places that preserved her sanity. No, stop thinking about her!
Of course, that would have been a lot easier if that very same American wasn't walking right towards her. She looked more sad than usual. Good. She deserved it. Now she looked like she belonged here. Ivanna schooled her face to a passive mask as Twila approached the stall.
"I need help," she began without preamble. None of the usual back and forth. Something was wrong, and for some stupid reason, Ivanna wanted to answer. Instead, she kept her face passive, and gazed directly forward, not making eye contact. Twila was clearly agitated. She began pleading,
"Come on, Ivanna! What do you need? I can get it for you. Please, I really need a solid right now."
Again, Ivanna looked down at her stall, as if making a tally of the inventory, such as it was. Twila was getting more and more anxious, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. When Ivanna glanced at her, she could see the stress and fatigue written across Twila's face. Clearly something had changed, but what? The question nagged at her. This woman would be her undoing for sure.
"Look, I'm sorry, ok? Something came up. It was real shitty of me, and I promise it won't happen again."
Well, at least she apologized. Ivanna finally met Twila’s gaze, she was hit by the full force of that puppy dog stare. Ivanna could feel her resolve shaking. Why could this woman do that to her so easily? Why couldn't she stay mad at Twila?
"Ok, first you buy me that drink. Then we talk."
"Sure. Absolutely. Done!"
Then Twila did one of those things that always caught Ivanna off guard. She reached out her hand, offering to help Ivanna up. Ivanna took the proffered hand hesitantly, and the touch sent a wave of heat radiating up her arm. The sensation was so strange that she nearly dropped Twila's hand, but managed to hold on as she got to her feet and began packing her stall.
"And also you buy the rest of the stock."
"How much would that be?"
Ivanna shrugged.
"I'll send you the bill. Your Americans probably have something for it."
Twila rolled her eyes but didn't complain further as Ivanna led her to the bar frequented by swing shift workers and anyone else drinking in the afternoon. Ivanna was giving her a second chance, and in this fucked up life of hers, those were few and far between. She couldn't mess this up. It might require a new approach. What had Dane said? If you don't have a part of yourself that's vulnerable, invent one.
The bar was a drab place, filled with long tables and benches where patrons sat in small clusters. The whole place smelled like vodka and industrial cleaner, which, to Twila’s nose, were pretty much the same thing. Ivanna slid up to the bar and ordered two beers, which Twila dutifully paid for before sitting down at one of the tables. Twila couldn't help being jealous at the way Ivanna seemed to move so unobtrusively through the world. Nobody would question why she was in a place, or even notice her at all. Or maybe not even notice her. But Twila noticed, and when she sat across the table with their pints of beer, she was very aware of Ivanna's gaze piercing into her.
"First, before you say anything, you answer this. Why did you leave me alone?"
Twila sighed and let her face slip behind her glass. That was the question, wasn’t it? Why had she done it. The answer was obvious. For Bea. To make sure their mission was a success. But what could she say without compromising that mission? But, she reminded herself, the best lies contain a little bit of the truth.
"I, um, I needed to help my friend. Bea, you know, the other American you see me with? She ran into some trouble that night."
Ivanna's eyes narrowed even further.
"What kind of trouble?"
Now was the part where the lie started.
"Bad date. Needed to go get her."
This brought a knowing look to Ivanna's face.
"Ah, yes. Man trouble. Very pretty girls always have man trouble." Ivanna was being unfair to herself, Twila thought. After all, Ivanna was quite pretty, in an androgynous, Twiggy sort of way. After a moment's reflection, Ivanna added, "You care about this Bea very much, yes?"
Twila nodded and sighed. She didn't have to lie about this one, but it seemed like telling the truth might be more difficult.
"Yeah, I guess I do. She was the first person I met in town, and she's helped me through a lot of, like, really heavy stuff. I guess you could say she's my best friend. She’s always there for me, and I try to be there for her."
Ivanna's face finally softened, so subtly that most people wouldn’t notice. But Twila had made a point to study Ivanna's face, and she thought this shift in her expression meant that she was ready to accept the new state of things.
"And what am I to you, Twila? Twila, that's a funny name isn't it?"
What was Ivanna to her actually? An informant? An acquaintance made over the course of a half dozen trips to the market? If Twila was being honest, something that getting harder and harder in this line of work, she hoped it was more than that. And, she couldn't seem to bring herself to lie on this.
"I guess I see you as, um, a friend."
Ivanna raised an eyebrow at her, seemingly about to launch into her usual laconic sarcasm. But then her face changed, as if she was considering something.
"I think I would like to be your friend. You treat your friends well."
After her exchange with Bea, Twila could feel her insides twisting up at this comment. She thought that telling the truth about Tom would bring them closer together. Instead, Bea stopped talking to her and threw herself into more dangerous missions. Could she be the friend to Ivanna that she hadn't been to Bea?
"Well, I'll definitely come help you out next time you have man trouble."
Ivanna cracked a rare smile and replied,
"I don't expect that to happen any time soon, but thank you. Now, I understand you are asking for help. Is it about the girls?"
Twila nodded, and noticed that Ivanna had already finished her beer.
"Very good. Then you will meet me at a concert tonight, and then you can tell me how you need help."
Twila nodded. Part of her expected this. Had known she would need to prove her commitment to Ivanna. But, shit, she knew the girl had good taste. Maybe the concert would even be good.