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“The incorporation of the Training Center into the Kivotos district has lead to several new supply issues; for one, it necessitates the creation of additional carrot producing fields, which are currently...”
Sensei let out a weary sigh. He was supportive of his students, sure. But facts remained facts; he understood pretty much nothing of any of this meeting.
He was just here out of obligation at this point, rather than any real purpose; overseeing the GSC in order to make sure nobody proposed anything too harmful to the nature of Kivotos as a whole.
Then again, given how the entire academy city was, just months ago, on the verge of being destroyed by means of giant spaceships, evil towers, ancient deities and alternate dimensions, those proposals were, for the time being, few and far between.
So that just left this. Regular old peaceful monotony.
…
‘This could have been an Email.’ Sensei sighed, aimlessly gazing out the window of the GSC offices down to the streets below.
Look at them. All of those students going about their day. This peace… It really is what all true Sensei strive fo-
Wait is that Rabu?
He rubbed his eyes.
Once, then again.
They did not betray him. There, standing on the sidewalk far, far below, as none other than the Captain of the Splash/Jabu Jabu/Yuda Yuda/Omatsuri Mambo!/Kata Kata Helmet Gang, Komakaze Rabu, standing by an ice cream truck with her two most trusted companions, Helmet Gang Member 1 and Helmet Gang Member 2.
Yes, those were their legal names. He checked.
“-Endfield corporation has increased by 30k in the last- Sensei, are you listening?”
“...Rabu…”
Aoi blinked in confusion at the adult’s words, “...Sensei?”
“OH MY GOD IT’S RABU!!!” he screamed at last, leaping up from his chair and charging towards the window at full speed.
KLONGGGGG
This being Kivotos, the window was, of course, bulletproof, so he just bounced off.
“...Sensei?! What’s gotten into-”
“RABUUUUUU!!!” he screamed ecstatically, reaching behind his back and swinging out his lesser-seen preferred primary weapon, ‘Sensei’s Big Bean Burrito’.
More commonly known as the FGM-148 Javelin Anti-Tank Missile Launcher.
“W-Where were you hiding-”
In a burst of flame and a shower of glass, the window was parted open.
Sensei took a running jump, leaping into the air, clutching the launcher in his hands as he flew free from the bewildered GSC assembly and their destroyed meeting room, “RABUUUUU!!!!”
“This is ridiculous! You clearly still have rocky road ice cream right there!”
“Sorry miss, but I simply can’t sell it to miscreants like you.” the Construct vendor running the ice cream truck snootily responded, “I know how this works. You threaten people for food, and we give it to you, and then you get beaten up by a random incoming force to establish them as powerful fighters.”
“Y-Yeah, s-so why…?” Rabu blinked, trying to process the ice cream man’s words.
“Because I refuse to be plot relevant, of course! I am but a simple Construct, who desires nothing more than to serve in the background.” the Construct paused, “Serving anyone but you of course.”
“Why I oughta… I…” the Helmet Gang Captain took a deep breath, looking over at her underlings.
Right, Rabu. Remember your anger management classes. Don’t be the Helmet Gang Member they think you are. Don’t shoot him. Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot. Don’t-
“RABU MY BELOVED!”
She froze, gazing skywards, wide-eyed.
HIGH VELOCITY SENSEI WITH A MISSILE LAUNCHER INBOUND. IMPACT IN T-5 MILISECONDS.
“Wait what the fuuuuUUUCCCCK-”
The world exploded, a massive crater being blown in the ground before her. Dust swirled around the impact, as a single form rose from his knees before her to his full height, his eyes glimmering excitedly.
“Hi Rabu! Hello! How are you doing today~?” Sensei energetically greeted, rapidly headpatting, cuddling and waving to Rabu all at once somehow.
“U-Uh… Hi Sensei…” Rabu’s cheeks blended perfectly with her hair, “I, uhhh… I was going to get ice cream for the girls… uhm…”
Sensei’s eyes went wide, “Great idea! I’ll go pay for it!”
“Now hold on, I can’t just sell ice cream to-”
The launcher swung up rapidly.
Did you know anti-tank missile launchers give you a +10 bonus to Persuasion? If not, how else did Sensei manage to get the ice cream man to give everyone ice creams? Checkmate idiots.
“Gee, Sensei, you really like the boss, huh…?” Helmet Gang Member 1 happily ate at her chili ice cream, watching the aforementioned boss get headpatted aggressively as she tried to eat her own cone.
“FOR TOO LONG she has been overlooked, and I REFUSE to waste a moment more!” Sensei responded, happily holding the helmeted girl close, “If anything ever happened to Rabu, I would murder everyone in Kivotos and then myself and I am NOT JOKING.”
The sound of shattering glass nearby.
All present spun about, spying a paralyzed Fox of Calamity standing at the end of the road. Her jaw fell open for a few moments, before she fell to her knees and simply started screaming.
And then I ran out of ideas on how to end the story so I’m just going to end it here and- HOLY SHIT IS THAT RABU