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the water cooler is where all the cool kids hang 

Summary:

“This is nothing like the dramas I watched,” Vivian whined into his curled up fists. “All I do is sort papers, send emails, follow Khun Lee around and do his every bidding. I’m just a glorified servant! What kind of life is this?”

“At least you’re not doing manual labor,” Deris mumbled into the table. “All I do is bake bread with Magus—my hands are getting cramps from all the kneading.” 

Aphere glared at his older brothers. “I’m sorry. Are either of you students? Do either of you spend your days completing assignments only to come home with more assignments?” 

A moment of silence descended upon the living room as all three of them considered their predicament. Then, as one, the three let out a tired sigh and sagged into their seats. 

Being human was hard.

Or, The misadventures and shenanigans of Vivian, witch-secretary; office worker by day, witch by night. 

Chapter 1: prologue

Notes:

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i would just like to mention, again, that the thomaskong and jimmyohm pairings are very mild in this fic and any i write going forward. pls be forewarned and don’t get any hopes up if you saw that pairing and clicked on this fic! 

also just wanted to say a quick thank you! take a sip from my secret potion, i'll make you fall in love has gotten more than 100 kudos! eeee you guys are so sweet and i’m so happy ppl are enjoying it as much as i enjoyed writing it. love to all <3333

(P.S. this happens pre-take a sip, just FYI)

 

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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Vivian shut the door behind him with a decisive click

Shoulders slouched, he let his messenger bag slipped down his arm and fall to the floor without even a passing glance. Dress shoes kicked off, tie loosened and suit jacket thrown towards the direction of the rack, Vivian dragged his feet deeper into the house. 

Leaving the entryway, he quickly spotted a dark head of hair laying on the dining room table and swerved to its direction.

There laid Deris; his head down, shoulder and arms splayed wide, and upper body limp on the table. If it weren’t for the steady rise and fall of his back, Vivian would’ve thought his younger brother looked like a murder victim with how disarrayed his limbs were. 

“You look about as tired as I feel,” Vivian grumbled as he sat opposite to the slumped figure. 

“I am,” the other witch groaned, not making one move. “Phi, remind me how long we’ve been here?” 

Vivian sighed, resting his forehead down on his hands. “We’ve been in the human realm a little over a week now.” 

Deris let out another long groan. “Feels like an eternity. How am I this tired? How do humans do this everyday?” 

Vivian vehemently agreed. 

“I know. This is nothing like the dramas I watched,” Vivian whined. “All I do is sort papers, send emails, follow Khun Lee around and do his every bidding—I’m just a glorified servant! What kind of life is this?”

“At least you’re not doing manual labor,” Deris mumbled into the table, his torso having been laid prone upon the wood ever since he got off work. “Magus won’t let me use any magic while at the bakery. I’m either kneading bread, carrying sacks of flour or clearing the display cases for the hand cream.” 

Then, Deris’ head suddenly shot up, energy regained from the fervor of his indignation.

Vivian hid a grimace. Having heard this before, he set his chin upon his hands and settled in to listen. 

“Also, why am I selling hand cream in a bakery?!” Deris threw his palms upwards, like he was demanding compensation. “If I'm not baking, I’m rubbing lotion into the hands of strangers trying to find my stupid soulmate! What kind of business model is that? Hand cream and bread?!”

BANG!!!

Vivian and Deris jumped up in their seats as a pile of thick books slammed down onto the dining table. 

Aphere, hands on hips, and a deep set in jaw, glared at his older brothers. 

“I’m sorry,” he drawled, sardonically. “Are either of you students? Do either of you spend your days completing assignments only to come home with more assignments?” 

The two older witches immediately shook their heads, cowed under their youngest's wrath. 

“Uh huh,” Aphere sniffed, haughtily, sitting down behind his books. “That’s what I thought. P’Viv’s doing mentally tiring work, P’Der’s doing physical tiring work. And me?” The youngest was muttering to himself at this point, waves of bitterness practically rolling off of him. “I’m just doing both; being forced to learn a human education while hauling these,” Aphere flicked a textbook cover with disdain, "around with me all day. Gonna break my back any day now, but that’s fine.”  

Vivian shot Deris a wince. Deris widened his eyes back at him and then flickered them over to the sulking Aphere and back. His expression clearly screamed, ‘You’re older—do something!'

Hesitatingly, Vivian asked, “Aphere, did something happen?” 

Like a stone, Aphere’s head dropped, making a dull thud against his stacked books. 

“Ongsa happened,” came a muffled mutter from within the youngest witch’s arms. 

“Ongsa?” Vivian repeated, looking at Deris with a confused scrunch. “What’s an ‘Ongsa’?” 

Deris shrugged, a lost expression on his face. Aphere didn’t look back up. Neither of them said anything. 

A moment of silence descended upon the living room. 

Then, as one, all three let out a tired sigh and sagged into their seats. Vivian laid his cheek on his fist. Deris rubbed his temples. Aphere still didn’t move. 


Being human was hard

 


 

Extra

 

Vivian suddenly thought of something. He lifted his head up and looked at Deris. 

“Wait. Deris, you’re not allowed to use your magic?” Vivian shook his head slightly, bewildered. “I use it at work all the time.” 

Deris looked almost affronted at this. 

“Seriously,” Aphere finally chimed up, face mushed against his textbooks. Unlike Vivian, the youngest witch didn’t feel the need to bother with eye contact. “If I wasn’t constantly surrounded by humans, I’d use it even more. I’d make it take my classes for me if I could.” 

“I don’t know.” Deris furrowed his brow. “Magus is always there, nagging me about this and that. He makes me do everything with him.” 

Vivian looked more perplexed. “Magus is your spirit guide, right?” At Deris’ nod, Vivian continued to prod, “And you’re saying he’s always with you?” 

“Yes,” Deris confirmed, becoming confused himself. “Why?” 

“Well,” Vivian started, “I just find it odd, is all. I mean, I only met mine once or twice since we’ve gotten here. Aphere?”

The two elder brothers turned towards the youngest. Finally raising his head, Aphere had a considering look on his young face, lips puckered. 

“Same here. I met my mentor that first day of school. He gave me this long spiel about how humans worked, how to find our true love, blah blah blah and that was it.” Aphere shrugged. “Sometimes I think I see an orange cat around campus but we haven’t really spoken since.” 

Vivian and Aphere turned back to Deris. The latter was staring at the table, fingers thrumming to their own beat. 

“Hm,” Deris hummed, low in his throat. He narrowed his eyes as he contemplated whatever was on his mind, now deep in thought. 

Vivian and Aphere turned back to each other and shrugged.

Deris was always the smartest and most studious out of their little trio. He was also the quietest. They learned when they were younger to just let their brother be when he got silently contemplative like that. 

Which meant that they’d get no answers out of him anytime soon. 

Meanwhile, Deris was on the verge of understanding the strange behavior of his spirit guide more and more…

Hm, indeed. 

 

 

Notes:

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gotta love burnout, amirite 

how i see the fatherant siblings:

Vivian: the kind one 

Deris: the smart one

Aphere: the sassy one

but i’d love to hear everyone elses theories if you got them!

 

 

also this 30-day doomsday premise the show proposed? kicking my ass rn in terms of my plot timeline. just saying.  

 

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