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Robby gets up to leave the lounge, and it's not the most recent conversation he had with Whitaker ringing in his mind, but the one he had with Abbot. What does he know? Sure, Robby isn’t exactly planning on coming back but Abbot didn’t have to say it. He planned this well, made sure to have his ER and his people are taken care of. The only reason he said he’d take sabbatical was to prep them all for his loss, he made sure they wouldn’t miss him too much-
“Dr. Robby?” Whitaker interrupts his thoughts before he can leave, the man has become so much more confident recently- “What is it?” Robby pauses in the door prompting Whitaker. “Sir… you said “if I come back”... you are planning on coming back right?” Whitaker digs rather awkwardly. He looks worried, slightly upturned eyebrows- well more than usual that is, his forehead wrinkles a touch and Robby wants nothing more than to smooth them out with his thumb- but he can’t be thinking that right now. Robby needs to reassure his fucking Huckleberry because while he may not be as religious as he used to be he prays to god that his plans don’t get foiled. So, Robby pulls on a smile, one that feels fake as his handsome eyes don’t wrinkle as much as they usually do, and he tells Whitaker that “of course I’m coming back, can’t get rid of me that easily” and he leaves. Closing the breakroom door behind him leaving Whitaker standing there on his own.
As reassuring as Dr. Robby might think he is, he is not. Dennis can feel his stomach clench in anxiety. Nothing about this seems good. He’s not gonna lose his lunch over it but nausea still hits him the same. He’s seen his fair share of bad mental health episodes. From himself, from living with Trinity, from college friends- well, what little he had anyway. Bad mental health and suicide rates are significantly higher in medical fields. Everyone is taught what to look for and he is looking, he’s searching for it for any sign of a cry for help. Dennis knows Dr. Robby won’t talk, he was already clearly ashamed after Pittfest. So he goes to the next best person.
Before Jack can even step out of the building Whitaker is hot on his heels calling out a quick “Dr. Abbot”. He’s aware Robby has a soft spot for the first year resident, plus Jack’s a friendly guy so he’ll oblige, he turns and looks to Whitaker. “I’m worried about Dr. Robby” Whitaker blurts out, now that gets his attention. He tenses up at the mention of his friend because, frankly, he is too. “Me too, but there’s not much we can do about it. He’s his own man. We can’t make anyone talk” Jack says, crossing his arms looking at the fresh resident. Both of them stepping out of the way for people passing. “Do… Do you think he’s planning on not coming back- cause he just offered to have me take care of his house while he’s gone and he said some worrying stuff- and I- I know you know him best but-” “Slow down” Jack interrupts his eyebrows stitching together pulling a crease together in between them “what did he say” Jack prompts carefully. “God- he uh- he said that if he didn’t come back i’d have free housing- but the way he said it- is there anything we can even do that’d help him?” Whitaker asks, hands wringing together anxiously. But Jack’s at a loss. He’s had plenty of patients in rough situations and years of experience but it’s different when it’s a friend. Looks like he’s not going home for that nap any time soon. “I’ll talk to him.” Jack sighs, rubbing his slight stubble. He shoos Whitaker off to continue his work, no time to rest when the ER is in shambles, and Jack goes off on his own to find Robby.
It’s not but thirty minutes later that Jack finally hunts down Robby, seems like he's avoiding him. Jack doubts that this will go any better than the earlier conversation he had with Robby. “I thought you were leaving?” Robby says as he quirks an eyebrow up at Jack. “I was, but it looks like I am not the only person you’re worrying with how you’ve been lately, Robby.” and Robby almost pulls out a rebuttal but Jack interrupts- “You’ve got a lot of people here who care about you. Don’t do something stupid. This place won’t be the same without you. Don’t make me go to another friend's funeral, I lost enough teammates in the military don’t make me lose you too. Got it? You come to me or retry therapy or go to a group to talk to.” and Robby is nearly reduced to tears, though not outwardly obvious, Jack can read it. The slightly quicker blinking and thick swallow watching his adams apple bob. All Jack can do is pull Robby in to a hug. “Please Robby. I don’t wanna bury another friend, don’t let Jake bury a dad, don’t let Whitaker bury a mentor, don't make these people don’t want to bury a boss. Ok? Be careful.” Robby lightly hugs back. “And wear your fucking helmet” Jack says pulling away. “Ok” it's quiet and gruff but it's something and Jack is just glad Robby said something. So Jack nods, and leaves.
Robby is in shambles. He does his best to make it to the bathroom before breaking down, it’ll have to be quick because he has patients. Robby’s eyes sting and his throat is all closed up and all he can do is hold himself, putting pressure where Jack's body was just against his. He sits against the wall of the bathroom. Gross, he thinks to himself, and it's almost funny. The only thing he can think about is how gross the bathroom floor must be and how dumb it is that stalls have such big gaps in the doors and these stupid things he’d never have to deal with or think about again if he died. He blows his nose with toilet paper and tosses it in the filthy toilet next to him. His right hand comes up to his chest and tangles in his necklace. Warm metal from sitting against his body for so long. There’s the creak of a door but he’s too in his own mind to think about it. He’s always been sharp, quickwitted, but maybe it’s ok to slow down for a minute. A soft knock on the stall he’s in spikes his annoyance, there are like three other empty stalls- “Dr Robby? I saw all that with Dr. Abbot- are you ok?” Whitaker. Robby loves the kid he really truly does, he’s grown into himself so well he’s going to be an amazing doctor, all he does is care and care and care about everyone else. Robby doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have it in him. Whitaker pushes the stall open, guess Robby forgot to lock it.
Dennis’s eyes widened upon seeing Dr. Robby on the floor. All misty eyed and wet cheeked and red, it's not the handsome sight Dr. Robby usually is. What else is Dennis to do but to come in close and lock the stall and sit next to him? Dr. Robby just seems so out of it, Dennis doubts that he’s even looking AT him, just toward him. “Yknow, you never really said where you’re planning on going during sabbatical.” Dennis tries, he really does. It just doesn’t work if he isn’t met halfway. “I uhm… I did a little more than see all that with Dr. Abbot, I kinda heard it too.” more tense awkward silence from Dr. Robby… from both of them for a bit. “I don’t know what to say to make things better, I don’t think anyone really does…. We keep finding ourselves here. I mean- not here here- but y’know. Like… on the floor.” Dennis tries to meet Dr. Robby’s eyes. “I would rather find the both of us on the floor like this more often than you being gone” Dennis eyes Dr. Robby's hand clenched around his necklace, his Star of David. Dr. Robby’s left hand clenched into the pants fabric on his thigh, Dennis just takes the risk and puts his right hand on Dr. Robby’s left. Now he looks at Dennis. “There you are” Dennis says quietly reflexively squeezing Dr. Robby's hand with a soft smile that fades fast. “You don’t have to leave. You can stay-” Dennis squeezes Dr. Robby's hand again worried he’s gonna pull away. “You can stay and- and you can- you can get better-” Dennis stumbles over his words feeling that familiar gut clenching feeling and his throat clogging. “Please stay? I can- I can still watch your house and- cook and clean and just- do things to take the burden of it away” Dennis’s eyes flood. Those pretty eyes collecting salty tears and his chin trembling and Dr. Robby squeezes his hand back.
“Kid-” Robby’s voice comes out broken and tense “I'm not gonna-” but the lie of ‘I’m not gonna kill myself’ gets stuck in his throat because who is he to lie to him. Whitaker is here offering himself to help Robby, and he wants nothing more than to say yes and bring Whitaker home and let him, but he doesn’t want to be a burden. Robby does not want to be weak, but right now he is, and honestly the war raging inside of him does nothing to ease his mind. “Ok, just for a little bit” Robby says, clinging to the notion that if he doesn’t feel it, he’ll tell Whitaker to get the hell out of his house and do it then. He’s got some time. Robby has never been one to procrastinate but maybe, just maybe, he can stall on killing himself for a little bit longer. With his 'Ok' Whitaker's lips quiver into a smile and he shoves himself into Robby's arms hugging him tighter than Robby thought such a seemingly scrawny man could, and Robby can feel the silent sobs and heaving breaths Whitaker is letting out on his shoulder, he has to wonder how much Whitaker must have cried to be able to do so in such a silent manner. Robby feels himself letting loose, and sobbing too.