Work Text:
Day 2:
Tim stares at the screen in front of him. It’s the body cam footage of Lucy attack. Nolan had already gone over it and as Watch Commander he needed to as well. But the thing is, he doesn’t want to see her attack.
He doesn’t want to see what she probably sees every time she closes her eyes. He already heard her yells on the radio.
But this is his job and this is his Sergeant. He takes a deep breath and presses play. He watches with his eyes glued to the screen as Lucy yells. At one point she gets separated from Celina.
He watches and hears a noise behind her. He sees the man—Martin come at her. He pauses and takes a deep breath.
And then presses play again. He hears her cry out in pain, in panic as they roll around. Sees the weapon that would eventually kill the man and then—
She stabs him, and he goes still instantly. Tim knows that without a doubt it was self defense and she was close to losing her life if she hadn’t acted.
But—
The pain on her face. The shock she was in when he found her. The toll it took on her body, on her mind.
He has tears in his eyes as he slams the laptop shut. His heart is breaking all over again and he’s not sure what he can do to make it better.
***
12:34pm Tim: Just checking in.
12:36pm Tim: I know this is rough. I love you.
12:45pm Tim: Lucy?
12:46pm: Are you okay?
Tim taps the desk with his fingers, he doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like this at all. He knows it was too soon to leave her alone. But she insisted and he didn’t want to hover or disrespect her boundaries.
He looks out and sees Nolan walking by. He stands up quickly and hurries towards the other man. “Nolan!”
Nolan turns to look at him. “Yes sir?” He says.
“I need you to do a wellness check on someone.” He says. Nolan raises his eyebrows.
“On who?” He asks.
“Lucy.” Tim replies. “Please don’t ask questions. I’m just… worried.” Nolan nods and Tim knows he understands.
He just wants to get to Lucy.
***
Tim unlocks the door and steps inside. It’s quiet. Too quiet. He looks at Nolan behind him who looks concerned.
“Lucy?” Tim calls. “Lucy?” He makes his way down the hallway and sees the bedroom door is shut. He left it open this morning.
“Lucy?” He knocks on the door, and then opens it. He knows Nolan is searching the rest of the house but Tim knows she’s in here. He steps inside and sees Lucy curls up on the bed. Her back is to him and she is still.
His heart pounds wildly in his chest. “Babe?” He says and he shakes her a little. “Luce, it’s me.” She rolls over and his heart sinks a little. She doesn’t look like she has moved out of bed.
“Why are you here?” She asks her voice hoarse. Tim sits down on the bed, and moves some hair out of her face.
“I was worried.” He says. “You weren’t answering your texts.” He stops and thinks of the body cam footage he saw earlier.
God.
It was awful.
“I’m sorry.” She says softly. “I got a message from my mom.” Tim freezes as she sits up and reaches for her phone. She takes a deep, shaking breath and then hands the phone to him.
He looks down and sees a long message. The contact says: Vanessa Chen.
Lucy, I received a call from a man named John Nolan saying you killed someone. Your father and I are so ashamed of you. You know this is a thoughtless job. You know that I do not approve of this.
Your father and I want to be proud of you but this is… is not good. I don’t care if this was self defense or not. You either need to walk away from this job or we are done for good.
And why couldn’t you call us yourself? Why did a strange man have to call us. We raised you better than this.
Tim looks at Lucy, who is squeezing the blanket with her fist. He has never met Lucy’s mother but he hates her.
“Oh Lucy.” He says and he pulls her in. “It’s okay. I’m so sorry.” Lucy buries her face into his shoulder and cries.
And he just holds her because it’s all he can do.
***
Day 3:
“Tim—Sergeant Bradford.” Tim turns to see Celina behind him. She is not looking at him directly instead just twisting her fingers together.
“Officer Juarez.” He says. He looks her up and down, he knows she was just trying to help at Westview and trying to explain what happened. But he was so focused on Lucy, so focused on making her his priority he kind of snapped at Celina.
“I just wanted to know how Lucy was.” Celina says. Tim sighs and looks away from Celina. He was nervous about leaving Lucy alone and coming in and he was very close to calling out. Again. He stayed home the first day, because he didn’t want to leave her side.
Last night she had woken up several times during the night just muttering Martin.
He didn’t know what to do—he couldn’t make this better for her. And technically they couldn’t talk about it. So he just held her, and when he suggested staying home she shook her head and told him she was fine.
She wasn’t.
And she would be in later for Nolan to take her statement again. He’s pretty sure that they would find it was self defense and he was going to hurt her and she would be cleared.
But he is still worried about her. The dead look in her eyes, the sunken face and just—
“She’s hanging in there.” He says. Celina tilts her head at Tim, her face concerned.
“Really?” She asks. “Is there anything I can do? I didn’t mean for us to get separated but—” Tim blows out a breath.
“Just check in with her.” He says. “Be there for her. I think I was driving her crazy the last few days.”
Celina nods and Tim can see her relax a little. “Okay.” She says. “Thank you Sergeant Bradford.”
“It’s not your fault Juarez.” He says. “Anything could have happened whether you were together or not.”
“I know.” Celina says and she does look guilty. “I just have never seen her like that.” Tim hasn’t either, not like this.
He saw her right after he pulled her from the barrel but it was different. This was pure shock and trauma. This wasn’t something he could help her prepare for.
“Me neither.” He says. “Like I said. Just be there for her.” Celina nods and gives him a small smile.
“Thanks Sergeant.” She says. Tim watches her turn around and leave and he lets out a breath.
It was the best he could do.
***
Lucy hears a knock at the door, and she sighs wrapping the blanket around her and walking to the door. She unlocks it and opens it.
It’s Celina.
She’s holding what looks like a gift basket, and she has a nervous look on her face.
She hasn’t seen anyone but Tim for the last few days, and she misses him despite telling him to go to work.
He’s really the only person she wants to see.
“Hey.” Celina says. “I just wanted to drop by and give you this.” She hands the gift basket to Lucy.
“Thank you.” Lucy says taking it. “But you didn’t have to—”
“I know.” Celina says. “I don’t know what you are going through. I can’t even imagine but I know I would want people on my side.” Lucy nods and she never thought she would be in this position.
“I do.” She says quietly. She feels herself shaking again, picturing Martin’s face.
“You can reach out to me for anything Lucy.” Celina says. “If you need anything—”
“Thanks Celina.” Lucy says and she wonders if Tim had anything to do with this. “I-I appreciate it.” She puts the gift basket down and steps forward. Celina pulls her into a hug.
“I know you are probably tired of hearing this but—it’s going to be okay.” She says. Celina takes a step back. “We are all here for you.” Lucy nods and closes her eyes trying not to let the tears fall.
It’s going to be okay.
***
“Celina stopped by.” Lucy says. She’s curled up next to Tim with a cup of tea in her hands. Celina had gotten several teas, a few crystals and some bath salts which she was excited to use.
“Yeah?” Tim mutters into her hair. “She asked how you were.”
“What did you say?” Lucy asks curiously. She knows people are worried, Tim is worried. She can see it on his face.
“I said you were hanging in there.” Tim says. “I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know she would stop by today.”
“I appreciate it.” Lucy says. She snuggles more into Tim. “It’s nice to have people who care about you.”
“And not just your hovering boyfriend?” Tim asks. Lucy lets out a small laugh and turns her eyes to look at him.
“I appreciate you too.” She says. “Thank you for keeping me calm.” Tim nods and gives her another kiss.
It’s reassuring.
It’s comforting.
It’s exactly what she needs.
***
Day 4:
“Sergeant Bradford.” Tim looks up from his desk and sees Miles. He’s in uniform and he looks a little nervous.
“Yes Officer Penn?” Tim asks. Miles shuffles his feet looking a little nervous.
“How is Lucy?” He asks looking at Tim. He doesn’t look so nervous anymore but he looks like he’s bracing for Tim to yell at him.
“She’s okay…” Tim says. Lucy was still dealing with the nightmares, and wondering around the house in almost a zombie like state. “She’s getting there.” Miles nods and his shoulders relax.
“How does she feel like a home cooked meal? My mama used to do it when—” He starts but Tim holds up his hand.
“She would appreciate a home cooked meal.” He says. “But you don’t—”
“It’s more than the meal sir.” Miles says. “I want to be there for her. She’s a good Sergeant and I know she is probably still warming up to me.”
“She likes you.” Tim says and his voice is not unkind. Lucy does like Miles, and when she first moved in she told Tim how happy she was Miles had a permanent place to live.
“Good.” Miles says. “I have tomorrow off. I—if you don’t mind—”
“Of course.” Tim says. “Thank you Miles.” Miles looks surprised at the use of his name but he just nods and ducks out of the office.
Tim sighs softly, and goes back to work. He checks his phone for any messages from Lucy but there are none.
She would call him if she needs him. He knows that. He just can’t seem to get the worry out of the pit of his stomach.
It would be okay. It would be okay.
***
“Miles is going to stop by tomorrow.” Tim says. He hands Lucy a cup of tea. It seems to be helping her sleep. Lucy looks over at him, she looks a little better like she has showered and closed her eyes for at least twenty minutes. He’s not sure how much sleep she’s actually gotten.
“Yeah?”
“I told him it was okay. If it’s not—give him the boot.” Lucy shakes her head and curls up into his side.
“It’s okay.” She says. “I do appreciate it.” Tim nods and hums softly, he grabs the blanket from the sofa and wraps it around her.
“I know.” He says. “I told him that.” Lucy hums and pulls the blanket tighter.
“Tim?” She says softly her voice has a slight shake to it.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
Day 5:
There’s a knock on the door around noon and Lucy shuffles over to open it. She has a feeling she knows who it is and she appreciates Tim’s heads up.
It’s Miles.
He’s holding two paper bags and grins softly at her. “Miles.” She says stepping aside. “Come in.” Miles steps inside and then turns to look at her.
“I know this is weird,” He says. “But my mama used to cook me a meal when I was feeling down. And she wouldn’t let me doing anything. She just would talk and—” Lucy’s eyes are filling with tears.
“Oh.” She says. “That’s nice.” It was nice and the fact Miles thought of doing it for her.
“I’m going to cook.” He says moving more into the house. “We can talk or not. And you can throw me out at any point.”
Lucy’s lips twitch into a smile. “Okay.” She says. “T-thank you Miles.” Miles nods and sets the bags down on the counter.
“I’ll make enough for Sergeant Bradford too but if you eat it all—” Lucy grins and she walks over sliding onto the stool. She watches as Miles shuffles around the kitchen looking for stuff, she tells him where all the pans are.
“How is living in the apartment?” Lucy asks. Miles turns to look at her.
“I have to say,” he says. “I never thought I would live somewhere without wheels or have a real bed.” He goes over to a cabinet and pulls down a mug, she watches him a little confused and then realizes he’s making her tea.
Of course.
“Really?” She asks. “I’m glad you are getting comfortable. Celina is a good roommate?”
“She is.” Miles confirms. “Bradford a good roommate?” Lucy’s cheeks heat up a little.
“He is.” Lucy says and she suddenly wishes Tim were here with her. She misses not even seeing a glimpse of him.
“Good.” Miles says. “I’m glad you are…happy.” The words fall flat a little bit Lucy knows what he means.
“Yeah.” She says softly. “Me too.”
***
“I’ve saved you some food.” Lucy says pushing a plate over to Tim. “It was hard though.”
“I’m glad your eating.” Tim says. Lucy raises her eyebrows at him looking a little amused. “You weren’t eating.”
“Right,” Lucy says. The first two days were hell for both of them. Two days he rather not repeat. “It was nice of Miles to do this.”
“It was.” Tim agrees. “Are you doing okay?” Lucy shrugs and comes around the counter to sit next to him.
“I guess.”
“Better?” Tim asks and he feels hopeful. He knows Nolan is working on her case. He’s standing behind her as much as possible.
“A little.” She says. Tim nods and leans forward to press a kiss to her forehead. That’s all he can ask for.
***
Day 6:
Tim’s phone buzzes on his desk, he picks it up right away thinking it might be Lucy. His heart is pounding in his chest as he looks at it. It’s not Lucy but his mom and sister. He had filled them in what happened to Lucy but didn’t give too many details. He didn’t want the turning on the news and seeing it.
He didn’t want them to think any less of her without hearing the details from inside.
Mom: Timmy?! Is Lucy okay? She’s not answering her phone.
Tim: What? What do you mean?
Mom: I have tried to call and text.
Genny: I have too. She usually answers right away.
Tim: Give me one minute.
Tim’s heart is pounding as he dials Lucy’s number, she has been doing better but he knows with trauma anything could set her off: she answers on the second ring, sounding tired.
“Hi babe.” She says. “What’s going on?” Tim closes his eyes and leans back in his chair.
“My mom and sister are trying to get ahold of you Luce.” He says. “You weren’t picking up.”
“Shit.” Lucy mutters. “I saw the messages just as I was getting in the shower. And I forgot—”
“It’s okay.” Tim says gently. “They are just worried.” Lucy sighs and he can imagine her pacing around the room.
“I’ll call them back.” She says. “I feel a little off today.” Tim sighs and lets put a breath.
“It’s okay.” He says. “They will understand. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” Lucy says and then the phone is silent. Tim shakes his head and leans forward to get back to the paperwork in front of him.
His mind wonders to Lucy, and he really hopes they can put this nightmare behind them soon.
***
There’s a knock on the door, and Lucy sets the plate down she’s holding and goes to answer it. She unlocks it and finds Joy and Genny behind it. They both have worried expressions that don’t fade when they see her.
“I’m sorry.” Lucy says and she wants to kick herself for not answering their messages. “I—Tim even called me.”
“Oh sweetheart.” Joy says and steps forward to pull her into a hug. Lucy melts into it right away. “It’s okay.” She lets Lucy go and puts a hand on her face.
“How are you doing?” Genny asks. “Tim didn’t really give us much.” Lucy shrugs her shoulders and motions for the to come inside. They both step over the threshold.
“Better than the first day.” Lucy says. “Better than the second. I’m getting there.” Genny smiles at her and Joy steps back.
“We are here to help.” She says. “Not hover.” She gives Genny a look.
“I’m guessing Tim doesn’t know you are here.” Lucy says and she can’t help but smile picturing the look on her boyfriend’s face when he walks through the door and sees his mother and sister.
“No. I love my son but you know him.” Joy says. “I’m going to make you some soup, that always made Tim and Genny feel better.”
Genny flashes Lucy an apologetic look but Lucy shakes her head. She likes this, she likes having Joy around. It’s better than her mother who sent her a long winded message about how she was right all along about Lucy’s job. It felt nice not to be judged.
“Thank you Joy.” Lucy says. Joy looks over at her, and then walks over to her and pulls her into another hug.
“My son loves you.” She whispers. “I can see why. You are apart of our family Lucy.” Lucy’s eyes fill with tears and she looks over at Genny who just nods.
“It’s true.” Genny says. “I didn’t talk to Tim for weeks when you two—and then I told him I told you so after the gala.”
“What happened at the gala?” Joy asks curiously. Lucy’s cheeks flush, and Genny mouths sorry.
“Just Tim and I—” She starts. “We stumbled a little along the ways.” Joy nods and backs up again.
“Well I’m happy you two are together.” Joy says. Lucy can see she’s holding a lot in, ever since the Cosmo quizzes stopped.
“Me too.” Lucy says and she can’t imagine doing this alone. She wouldn’t want to and even if they weren’t together… Tim wouldn’t let her go through it alone. Ever.
And that’s a wonderful thing to think about. It makes this nightmare a little better.
***
“I can’t believe my mom did this.” Tim says staring at the containers in the fridge. “And she came—”
“I don’t mind.” Lucy says quietly. Tim turns to look at her. She’s on the sofa with her legs pulled up to her chest. “It’s better than being an embarrassment to your own mom.”
Tim blinks at her remembering the message that Lucy got on day 2 after Nolan had called her parents. It sent her into a spiral, and it made him angry.
She deserved better than that.
“Right.” Tim says and he hurries over to her. He sits down on the couch, and gives her a smile. “I know you’re—I know.” Lucy nods and stretches out her legs before moving over to him. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and lets the silence overtake them.
***
Day 7:
“Bradford,” Tim looks up to see Grey at the door. He stands up as the other man steps in. “How’s the work going?”
Tim looks down at the blank paper in front of him. “It’s fine.” He says. Grey nods and steps closer to the desk.
“I saw Lucy.” He says. “She was with Nolan.” Tim nods and his heart feels a little heavy today because they were either releasing Lucy back to work or they were doing more investigation. Tim was staying out of it per the brass but it was killing him not to know.
“Yes.” Tim says. “He was going over a few things with her. They should be out soon.” Grey nods and gives him a smile.
“You have handled this really well Tim.” He says. “I can’t imagine how you are feeling.”
“It’s a day by day thing.” Tim replies. It’s been a week since the incident but it feels like it was yesterday.
“Right.” Grey says. “And how’s Lucy?” Tim sighs and looks past Grey as if he’s hoping to see her.
“It’s a day by day thing.” He says. “She’s getting there.” Grey nods and holds out his hand. Tim takes it.
“She will get through this. You both will.” Grey says and gives it a squeeze. “I hope you know you both have a community surrounding you.”
“We know.” Tim says. “We know.”
***
“I can come back to work?” Lucy whispers and panic seizes her. “But—”
“It was self defense.” Her attorney says gently and she looks at Nolan who nods.
“It was Lucy.” He says. “You were fighting him off. He came after you.” Lucy swallows, she can’t believe what she’s hearing.
“Really?” She asks. “But—Martin. I wasn’t suppose to use deadly force.” Nolan puts her pen down on his notepad.
“You were being attacked Lucy, the body cam shows it.” Nolan says. “You can return to work as early as tomorrow.”
“D-do I have to?” Lucy asks. Nolan looks surprised but shakes his head.
“No.” He says. “You take all the time you need.” Lucy nods and sinks lower in the chair. She could return to work but did she want to?
“Thank you.” She whispers. Nolan reaches out to squeeze her hand, its familiar and comforting.
“I’ll be here if you need me Lucy. Okay?” He says. Lucy nods again and next thing she hears is the door opening and closing.
***
“Lucy is cleared to return to work.” Nolan says. Tim taps the pen against the desk. “I’m not sure she is ready.”
“She’s not.” Tim says and then he shakes his head. “Was she excited?”
“No.” Nolan says his voice a little somber. “She’s doing… is she doing better?”
“I thought she was.” Tim says and he rubs at his temple. “I think she is still struggling and doesn’t know how to talk to me about it.”
“Not to speak out of turn.” Nolan says. “But she needs to know you are there. A constant. You need to be open too. Maybe she’s afraid of hurting you because she doesn’t what you to hurt anymore.”
“It’s her.” Tim says. “She hurts. I hurt.” Nolan nods in understanding and shifts in his seat.
“She will come around.” He says. “She will and when she does you will be ready for her. You know her better than anyone. And you will both get through this.” Tim nods and he appreciates Nolan’s words.
“Thanks.” He says because it’s the only thing he can say. “Thank you for helping her.” Nolan nods and gives him a smile.
“Of course.” He says. “If I can do anything else—”
“Yeah.” Tim says and he feels a little bit of a weight get lifted off his shoulders. “Thanks Nolan.” Nolan nods and turns around to leave.
And Tim finally lets out the breath he was holding.
***
“Tim.” A voice says and Tim looks up once again to see Luna Grey. She is looking at him with a sympathetic expression. “I heard the good news. Lucy was cleared.”
“She was.” Tim says. “I don’t know how she feels about it.” Luna nods and comes to sit down in front of the desk.
“I talked to her some at the hospital. She was pretty shaken up and out of it. She could barely look me in the eye.” Luna says.
“She’s a little better.” Tim says. “We are taking it one day at a time.” Luna nods and leans forward.
“I know you love her Tim.” She says. “I know she’s your priority. Don’t you ever lose that feeling.” Tim nods and studies the woman in front of him. He knows Grey and Luna are going through it right now. He knows Grey was concerned for him when he broke up with Lucy and tried to be there. And he wants to be there for Grey and Luna.
“I know.” He says and he would never forget the panic he felt hearing her over the radio. He blinks trying not to remember the body cam footage. “She’s—”
“The one?” Luna asks. Tim simply nods.
“So is Wade for me.” Luna says. “I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it. We are at an impasse.”
“I’m sorry.” Tim says. He knows what it’s like to be without the one he loves. “I hope everything works out.”
Luna nods and stands up. “Me too.” She says. “And I know everything will be okay with you and Lucy.” She gives him a smile and turns around and leaves the office.
Tim sits back in his chair, and he’s forever grateful for the family, the community that is surrounding Lucy.
No matter what.
No matter what.
***
“Lucy!” Lucy freezes and clutches her keys in her hand. She slowly turns around and relaxes when she sees Luna Grey hurrying towards her. Lucy tries to lose the tension as the woman approaches her.
“I heard you were cleared.” She says. Lucy tries not to frown.
“I was.” She says. “Self defense.” Luna nods and steps closer to her, and Lucy relaxes a little. There was something about Luna’s presence that relaxed her.
“Your Watch Commander is worried about you.” She’s says says. “He loves you.”
“I know.” Lucy says and she feels a sense of guilt for not stopping by Tim’s office but she just wants to get home. “He’s a worrier.”
Luna smiles at her, and reaches for her hands. “You are amazing Lucy. I saw it in you when you were a rookie being bossed around by Tim.”
Lucy bites her lip, a thought suddenly occurring to her that it wasn’t Tim bossing her around anymore.
“Yeah.”
“You are strong.” Luna says. “Independent. Empathetic and this is just what Wade tells me. You are stronger and braver than you will ever know.”
“Thanks Luna.” Lucy whispers even if she doesn’t feel strong or brave. She already doesn’t know how to tell Tim she’s not ready to come back quite yet. “I appreciate this.”
“Of course.” Luna says. She steps forward to hug Lucy and then pulls back. “You take all the time you need to get yourself through this.”
Lucy nods and watches as Luna turns around and walks off. She takes a deep breath and makes her way to her car.
She’s ready to go home.
***
“I don’t want to go back to work.” Lucy says to Tim as they climb into bed. “I’m not ready.” Tim looks over at her with such a soft expression that almost makes her cry.
“That’s okay Luce.” He says and he wraps herself around her. “That’s okay. Take all the time you need.”
Lucy nods and she snuggles into Tim. She doesn’t know what tomorrow or the next day after that but she knows… right here is exactly where she needs to be.
***
Day 8:
“Lucy is not back yet?” Tim looks up to see Grey standing there. “She was cleared?”
“She wasn’t ready.” Tim says and for the first time since this whole thing happened he feels a little bit of relief. For the first time, he kissed Lucy goodbye and they almost went a little farther.
“Oh.” Grey says looking surprised. Tim nods and sighs a little. He’s proud of Lucy for wanting to come back on her own time. It’s something that even he not able to do. He pushes himself too hard.
“She will be back soon sir.” Tim says.
“I know.” Grey says shaking his head. “That’s not—I’m proud of her.” Tim smiles a little and he relaxes back into the chair.
“Me too.” He says. “Me too.”
***
Lucy is shuffling around the house when there’s a knock on the door. She takes her earbuds out and heads to the door. She unlocks it to reveal Grey. He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets.
“Hi.” She says and she’s a little surprised he’s here. “What—”
“Tim told me you weren’t ready to come back.” He says. Lucy hangs her head.
“I just—”
“Hey.” Grey says. “I’m proud of you Chen. I’m proud that you aren’t pushing yourself to get back out there.”
Lucy blinks at him. “Really?” She asks. “You don’t think I should get back out there?”
“I think you should do it on your own time.” Grey says. “And it takes a lot of courage to say you aren’t ready.”
“Thank you sir.” Lucy says. “I really appreciate this. And you coming by.” Grey just searches her face.
“Anytime.” He says. “Just let me know if you need anything. Okay? Tim is taking care of you?”
“Yes sir.” Lucy says and she can’t even explain how much Tim is taking care of her. He’s been working and worrying about her.
And she couldn’t want anything more.
Grey nods and turns around to walk out the door. Lucy shuts it behind her and for the first time in awhile she smiles.
***
There’s another knock on the door, and Lucy feeling a lot lighter than before she is opening the door. She is expecting to see someone else checking on her, she is expecting to see someone familiar.
Instead she is staring at her parents who are frowning at her. Her mother, is front and center and her father is behind her.
“Mom? Dad?” Lucy says. “What are you doing here?” Her mom steps forward and Lucy steps back.
“We just wanted to see for ourselves.” Vanessa Chen says. “You are still here and not in jail.”
“I was cleared.” Lucy says and normal parents would be jumping up and down. Joy sent a bunch of GIFs to the group chat that had Tim groaning in embarrassment but Lucy didn’t mind.
“You killed someone and you were cleared?” Vanessa asks and she looks disgusted like she doesn’t even know Lucy.
“It was self defense mom.” Lucy says and she feels herself sinking again. She felt so much better after Grey’s visit.
“That’s not an excuse.” Vanessa snaps.
“I didn’t say it was.” Lucy says. “I have to live with it every single day. Sometimes I can’t close my eyes.”
“Good.” Vanessa says. “Maybe that will make you realize you are in a thankless job.” Lucy feels tears in her eyes and she stumbles backwards. Her mom never wanted a relationship with her, she just wanted to shame her. To tell her how disappointed she was in her.
And she did it.
She succeeded.
“Good to know you don’t care about me.” Lucy says. “Goodbye.” She slams the door before realizing her dad never spoke. He was more passive than Vanessa but he had the same views. She didn’t have parents who would stand up for her.
And she has to live with that. She sinks down on the floor and buries her face into her legs.
Oh god.
***
Tim’s phone buzzes on his desk and he snatches it up when he sees it’s Lucy.
“Hi Luce.” He says. “What’s going on?”
“T-Tim.” Lucy says and Tim sits up straight, something wasn’t right. “M-my parents stopped by.” Tim’s heart nearly stops.
“Yeah?” Tim says softly. “They just stopped by to say hi?” Lucy lets out a unamused laugh.
“Th-they are awful.” She says and she sniffs. “They want me in jail Tim.”
Tim sighs and runs his finger through his hair. “I’m sorry Lucy. You told them you were cleared?”
“They were disappointed.” Lucy says. “Your mom wanted to throw a party and my parents want me in jail.”
Tim laughs a little at the mention of his mom. He thinks maybe she likes Lucy more than him and he can’t blame her.
“Are you okay?” He asks. “Do you need me to send reinforcements? I’m sure Celina and Miles would be happy to calm over.”
“I’m fine.” Lucy says. “I just needed to hear your voice. It helps.” Tim hums softly and he would stay on the phone with Lucy all day if he could.
“Good.” Tim says. “I will see you tonight. I love you.” Tim tricks up his pen and taps it against the desk.
“I love you too.”
***
Day 10:
“Bradford.” Tim looks up to see Nyla at the doorway. She walks in without him replying and sits down in front of him. “How’s Lucy?” Tim sighs and leans forward a little. Other than Lucy’s parents stopping by a few days ago and other than the fact she still wasn’t ready to return to work.
“She’s getting there.” Tim says. “Her parents stopped by and she—I think it set her back a little.” Nyla nods in understanding and searches his face.
“She’s not ready to come back? I thought I would see her as soon as she was cleared?” Nyla says. Tim shakes his head.
“She wasn’t ready and I’m not going to push her to come back.” He says. Nyla nods but she leans forward too.
“Has she talked to anyone? Professionally?” She asks. “I know you have been through this. Most of us have.”
“Like a therapist?” Tim asks. Nyla nods. “No. It hasn’t been brought up.”
“Maybe it should be.” Nyla says. “Maybe all the doubts, her parents, the images.” Tim nods and Nyla stands up.
“I can stop by and talk to her.” Nyla says. “Just put it out there.” Tim thinks Thearpy might be a good idea for Lucy.
“Yeah.” He says and Nyla starts to walk out of the room. “Thanks Nyla.” Nyla gives him a rare and turns to leave the office.
Tim leans back in the chair, and looks around the office and the bullpen. Maybe everything would be alright after all.
***
Lucy hears the knock as she’s putting away the pans after her last failed attempt to make cookies.
(She was trying—she was getting a little stir crazy).
She goes over to answer it and is surprised to see Nyla. “Hey.” Lucy says stepping aside to let her in.
“Sorry to just stop by.” Nyla says. “Do I smell burnt cookies?”
“Unfortunately.” Lucy says giving her a smile. Nyla shakes her head, and Lucy leads her to the kitchen.
“Are you going a little stir crazy?” Nyla asks. Lucy shrugs and turns away from her.
“A little.” She says and she turns back to face Nyla. “I want to go back to work and everyone has been so supportive and nice but—”
“You aren’t ready.” Nyla finishes for her. “It’s okay Lucy.”
“Tim has been so supportive and understanding but I know he wants me back. Grey, Nolan, Celina. I know they—I just don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Have you thought of talking to anyone?” Nyla asks. “That’s not your boyfriend slash watch commander or any of your coworkers.”
“No.” Lucy says and she realizes with a start she hadn’t even considered thearpy.
“You have been through a lot Lucy. Not just this. You were kidnapped. You almost died. You have been through heartbreak and trying to pick up the pieces.”
“Yeah.” Lucy says and she takes a deep breath. Thearpy did wonders on Tim, and here she was standing in their kitchen. She managed to get through the love of her life walking away and then coming back and he has been the biggest support.
“You deserve to talk it all out.” Nyla says. “Without someone who is going to know. It’s great to have that support but sometimes you need an outsider looking in.
Lucy sighs and she knows Nyla is right. Everyone had been so kind and surround f her but—
“I’ll think about it.” Lucy says. “Thanks Nyla.” Nyla nods and Lucy picks a burnt cookie off the cookie sheet.
“Cookie? It’s a little burnt—” She says. Nyla shakes her head and Lucy puts the cookie down. Tim would probably try them and then instantly regret it.
She might as well throw them out.
She guesses baking isn’t for her.
“Hey.” Nyla reaches out to touch her hand. “I know you heard this a thousand times. But you will get through this. Everyone has your back and everyone will be waiting for you to get back to work.”
Lucy nods and she can’t help but smile. “Thanks Nyla.” She says. Nyla nods and gets up from her seat.
“Anytime.” She says. “Anytime.”
***
“Why does it smell like burnt cookies?” Tim asks as soon as he steps inside. Lucy is at his side just as fast. He pulls her into a hug and presses a kiss to the top of her head.
“I tried to make cookies.” She says. “It didn’t go so well.” Tim raises his eyebrows at her and then takes her hand and leads her to the couch.
“I see.” He says. Lucy settles into his side. “So baking it for you?”
“Not at all.” She says. “But I think thearpy might be.”
“Harper stopped by?” Tim asks. Lucy nods and she’s not surprised Tim knows. She rests her head on his chest.
“I think it might help.” She says. “Get me out of this funk.”
“You come back to work when you are ready Luce.” Tim says gently. “But I think Thearpy might help too. It helped me. And now look at me I’m emotionally healthy.”
“You are.” She says. “And you share every thought with me.” She grins at him.
“Not every thought.” Tim says. “Or we would be in the bedroom right now with a lot less clothes.”
“Really?” Lucy asks. “What turned you on this time?”
“The baking.” Tim replies and at least he’s honest. “It’s hot.” Lucy lets out a laugh and then Tim kisses her.
And for the first time in a while she knows it’s going to be okay.
***
Day 12:
“Timothy.” Tim doesn’t even have to look up to see who it is.
“Angela.” He says without missing a beat. “What’s up?”
“I texted Lucy.” She says. Tim looks up at her, his heart pounding a little.
“Did she answer? Sometimes she’s sleeping.” Tim says but Angela just gives him a look.
“She answered.” She says. “Is she doing okay? She seemed a little stressed.”
“She’s starting therapy.” Tim says. “And her mom sent her another nasty message. It’s just a lot.”
“Right.” Angela says. “And when is she returning to work?”
“I don’t know.” Tim says. “When she’s ready.” Angela nods and narrows her eyes at him.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She says. “It’s just weird seeing you…in love and so open.”
“Get used to it.” Tim says. “I’m not going anywhere.” Angela nods in approval and Tim leans back in his chair.
“Good.” She says. “By the way I’m stopping by your house. Wesley will be there too.”
“Thank you for the heads up?” He says. Angela just smiles and turns around to leave the office.
Tim shakes his head and gets back to work. The faster he can, the faster he can get home.
***
Lucy’s not surprised when she hears a knock on the door. Angela had texted her that she was stopping by. But she is surprised when she sees Wesley and not Angela.
“Hey.” She says. “I thought Angela was coming.”
“She is.” Wesley says. “She’s on her way. I just got here first.” Lucy just steps aside to let him inside.
“How are you doing?” Lucy asks before Wesley can say anything. “I heard—”
“I’m good.” Wesley says. “It’s been a little crazy.”
“I know.” Lucy says. “I’m glad you are okay.” Wesley gives her a smile and follows her more into the house.
“Are you—” Wesley pauses. “Are you okay?”
“I am.” Lucy says. “It’s been a lot of ups and downs but I’m getting there.”
“Good.” Wesley says. “When we saw you at the hospital…”
“I know I was out of it.” She says. She goes around the kitchen counter and turns to look at Wesley. “Can I make you something? Coffee? Tea?”
“Water is fine.” He says. Lucy nods and fills up a cup of water and the passes it to him. “Do you know when you are going back to work?”
“I think—” Lucy says. She has a therapy appointment tomorrow and maybe then she would feel like she could make that step forward. “Soon.”
“Good.” Wesley says. “I know you had been through hell and back. And I know this didn’t make it easy.”
“But I’ll get through it.” She says. Wesley nods and Lucy smiles at him.
She would get through this.
***
Angela arrives 15 minutes later, and kicks Wesley out. Lucy thanks him for stopping by and then turns to look at Angela. They are sitting on the couch, Lucy has her legs pulled up underneath her.
“I would have kicked Tim out too.” She says. Lucy rolls her eyes but she feels the weight getting lifted off her shoulders.
“Tim’s been my biggest support through all this.” Lucy says.
“Good.” Angela says. “Or I would kick his ass.” Lucy shakes her head, and really Tim has been the biggest support and she couldn’t be more grateful for him.
Actually everyone had been a support. From Celina to Miles to Luna and Grey.
“Thanks for sending that picture of him in the Astro burger outfit.” Lucy says. She pulls out her phone and shows Angela her lockscreen. Tim grimaces every time he sees it.
“That’s amazing.” Angela says grinning at her. “And you are welcome.”
“He hates it.” Lucy says. “But he loves me more.” Angela nods and then she searches Lucy’s face.
“How are you?” Angela asks. “Really?” Lucy shrugs her shoulders and looks away from Angela to Kojo who is laying in his bed.
“I’m ready.” Lucy says and she has been thinking about it since Wesley stopped by. “I think I will be ready at least.”
“To go back to work?” Angela asks. Lucy nods and her eyes light up a little bit.
“Yes.” Lucy says. “Maybe on the desk for a little while.”
“We have missed you.” Angela says. “No more than Tim. But it will be great to have you back.” Lucy nods and lays her head back against the sofa.
The thought of going back to work didn’t make her panic anymore. Maybe she wasn’t ready to be on patrol but she would be back and that’s all that really matters.
“It will be good for me to go back.” Lucy says softly. “And Tim.” Angela grins at her, and once Lucy is grateful for the family surrounding her.
Her found family.
Her found family who would have her back no matter what.
“Thanks for stopping by.” Lucy says to Angela. “And tell Wesley thank you too.” Angela nods and leans across to give her a hug.
“Of course.” She says. “We will always have your back Lucy. Always.”
And Lucy believed her one hundred percent.
***
“Angela and Wesley stopped by.” Lucy tells Tim once he’s settled on the couch. “I’m grateful for them caring so much.”
“It’s you.” Tim says. “You are a good cop. You are empathetic and amazing. And I’m so proud of how far you have come.”
“Yeah.” She says. “I was thinking about it today and I think I’m ready to return but not on patrol.”
“That’s great Lucy.” Tim says. “I think we can figure something out. I have missed seeing you at work.”
“I’ve missed being there.” She says and her heart swells a little. It’s not going to be perfect but—
She has a community, family surrounding her and a man who loves her more than anything and that’s all she could ever want.
“Hey.” Tim nudges her. “I love you.” She turns to look at him and gives him a smile.
“I love you too.”
***
Day 14:
“Hey.” Tim looks up to see Lucy standing in the doorway. She’s in her uniform and she has a smile on her face.
“Hey.” He says and he pauses what he’s doing. Out of all the people to stop by his office Lucy is his favorite. “How’s your first day back going?”
“Good.” She says and she steps more into the office. “I had a thought.”
“Yeah?”
“Everyone came to check on me. They asked you about me. They got me stuff.” She says. Tim nods his head a little confused.
“Yes they did.”
“But no one asked you how you were.” She says. “I know this whole thing drained you. I know you felt guilty because you had a bad feeling that day.” Tim swallows and he doesn’t want to back to that day. He should have insisted he ride with Lucy.
“How I was feeling didn’t matter.” Tim says. “The focus should have been on you.”
“That’s where you are wrong Tim.” Lucy says and she’s standing in front of his desk. “You do matter. Your feelings matter. Worried, scared or angry. They matter.”
Tim blows out a breath, and he didn’t even realize people didn’t ask how he was. He was so worried about Lucy. Everyone was.
“Well—” Tim says. “I was fine and then I watched the body cam footage.”
Lucy’s face changes a little. “Why?” She asks. “Tim—”
“I needed to.” He says. “As your Watch Commander. There’s no guide on what to do when it’s your girlfriend.”
“Oh Tim.” She mutters.
“Listen,” he says. “You were my main priority. I pushed my feelings aside because you needed me. I did everything by the book because that’s why you needed. I didn’t mind as long as you were okay.”
“Well now you can feel them.” Lucy says and she leans forward to take his hand. “Okay? I will be alright. I want to know you will too.”
“I will be.” He says. “And I promise to talk about this with you at home. But right now—” He stands up and comes around the desk.
“Right now you have to go on patrol.” She says But he can tell she’s not upset. She’s smiling as they both start walking out of the office. He puts a hand on her back. A comforting touch.
“Yes.” He says. “And you have to do some paperwork that Smitty failed to do.”
“You are the worst.” She says. She stops and turns to face him. “But luckily I love you and luckily we are at work.”
Tim grins at her and then she squeezes his arm. “I’ll see you later Sergeant Bradford.” She says.
“See you later Sergeant Chen.” He replies back and he turns around and walks away.
He has a feeling everything will be okay.
***
“How was your first day back?” Tim asks. He hands Lucy a beer and she takes a sip. It was a laid back day as much as it could be with Smitty running around.
“It was good.” She says softly. “It was good to be back.”
“I bet.” Tim says softly he brushes some hair out of her face. “I know it’s not what you imagined.”
“It’s what I need.” Lucy says. She wasn’t ready to be on patrol yet. Not right now. Even with Tim by her side.
“I know.” Tim leans over to press a kiss to her cheek. “I’m proud of you.”
“I’m proud of you.” She says. “And grateful for you. You are the one who held me up this entire time.”
“And I would do it again.” He says.
“I couldn’t have done this without you or anyone else. Everyone who stopped by and—”
“Right.” Tim says. “Actually I need to tell you something.”
“What?” Lucy asks narrowing her eyes at him.
“I invited everyone over. Angela. Wesley. Nyla. Genny. Celina and even Miles. We want to celebrate you.”
“Tim.” She says and she’s more shocked he invited people over.
“You deserve this Lucy.” He says. “Over and over again.” Lucy opens her mouth to reply but then there’s a knock on the door. Tim gets up to answer it and Lucy stands up as a flood of people come in.
She’s immediately is swept up by everyone. She hugs them and keeps her eyes on Tim.
Oh she’s loves him and this chosen family.
They showed up and stood up.
And she couldn’t and didn’t want anything more.
This was perfect.