Chapter Text
Yue Qingyuan smiled to himself as he walked through the bustling marketplace. He was pleased at his success for stifling his long-suffering sigh as he heard whispers directed towards him. After all, it wasn't often that a clan leader was walking around a market aimlessly. Once he had left his self imposed seclusion, he thought things would be less... lonely. Now, with his shidi Shen Qingqui married to Luo Binghe, and most of the disciples were old enough to go on missions alone, Yue Qingyuan had continued to feel isolated. Thankfully he had others to talk to, friends to speak with, and Shen Qingqui did come to visit fairly often, with his husband in tow, of course.
Yue Qingyuan slowed his walk as he encountered a vendor that was selling hot food, the rich smell enticing even though he was not hungry. He bought a few items almost mindlessly, thinking over who he would give them to when he felt something near his leg. He looked down to see small boy by the merchant's table, rummaging through some discarded scraps of food that looked too old to eat.
‘poor thing,’ Yue Qingyuan thought to himself. Who knows when the boy last had a real meal. He looked at the food wrapped in his hand. “Excuse me,” Yue Qingyuan started, thinking of how to offer the food without coming off as frightening when he caught the boy’s dirty face.
The boy jerked his head up at Yue Qingyuan. His nose was turned up, fingers clenched at his sides, eyes were narrowed dangerously as he was preparing for a fight…
That face…
Shen Jiu?
It looked like- no, it was him. Yue Qingyuan would recognize those dark-pitched eyes anywhere. His youthful face was smudged with dirt from digging into the abandoned food, his body too thin for his age, but there was no doubt who this boy looked like. Who this boy was.
“Shen Jiu?” Yue Qingyuan whispered.
The boy angry stance faltered when Yue Qingyuan spoke, looking confused for a moment before he hid the spoiled food behind his back, as though Yue Qingyuan may take it. “How do you know that?” He demanded, voice so sharp for one so young.
Yue Qingyuan felt at a loss for words. He cautiously lowered himself to his knees, trying to move slowly as to not to startle the boy. “Forgive me. You look like a very dear friend of mine, when he was younger. That was his name as well.” He hoped that didn’t make the boy flee.
The boy, Shen Jiu, looked befuddled but didn’t step back. He brought the melon rind he had snatched to his mouth and started nibbling around it, seeking some of the fruit with his small teeth. “Sorry,” He said, voice stiff, unsure what else he was supposed to say after such an odd explanation.
“Thank you,” Yue Qingyuan said. “He is alive and happy, and I must apologize for staring – but you do look so much like him.”
Shen Jiu continued nibbling on the rind before he sighed, throwing it back to the trash, ignoring the merchant’s annoyed stare. “That’s weird.” The child said factually.
“Maybe so,” Yue Qingyuan agreed, his mind turning. “Perhaps you two are related. Where are your parents?” He suspected the answer, but he hoped -
“Dead,” Shen Jiu answered, crossing his small arms defensively and oh, he made such a face that only Shen Jiu could make.
He suspected it…but how unfair that Shen Jiu would be an orphan twice in his lives? That seemed too cruel. Because it only made sense that this was Shen Jiu still; his behavior, his looks - somehow he was here while their own Shen Qingqui was also alive.
“I’m sorry…” He said, genuinely.
Shen Jiu shrugged, wiping his hands down his stained shirt instead of replying. Yue Qingyuan remembered what he had wanted to do before he realized the boy was Shen Jiu. Nearly fumbling with the food in his haste, he held out the wrapped steaming bun, and he saw how Shen Jiu's breath hitched at the sight. “Are you still hungry, Shen Jiu?”
Shen Jiu placed a hand over his growling stomach, uncertain.
“I won’t be able to eat them all and I bought so many,” Yue Qingyuan said in a mock saddened voice. “Very stupid of this Gege. Won’t you help me?”
Shen Jiu’s dark eyes flickered from the bun to Yue Qingyuan’s face, his fingers still clenching over his own stomach. Whether it was trust or hunger that won out, Shen Jiu gingerly reached forward, eyes on Yue Qingyuan's hands the whole time as he grabbed the bun. He hugged it close to his face as he stuffed a huge bite in his mouth, acting fast before Yue Qingyuan could try to take it back. His eyes widened at the taste and he took another, bigger bite.
After a few more bites, Shen Jiu examined Yue Qingyuan, who was still on his knees, hands folded over his lap. “Tha-thank you,” Shen Jiu said, apprehensively; the Shen Jiu Yue Qingyuan knew in his youth was always so wary of accepting kindness. Such a young child shouldn’t look so scared of saying thanks, Yue Qingyuan’s felt like his heart would burst from his ribcage at the sight.
“Of course," He said, his voice fond - he couldn’t control it. "If you want more food, I can get them for you in our kitchen. Would you like to go somewhere to rest and eat?” Yue Qingyuan asked, breathless.
Shen Jiu glared at him suspiciously, clutching the gifted food. “No,” He said, raising his chin defiantly. “And if you try to grab me and make me go, I will bite your fingers off. The other jiejies warned me of people who'd ask me that." He spat, scowling at Yue Qingyuan. "Go home with you?" He seethed. "Who are you to ask me that?”
Yue Qingyuan grimaced at himself; that was too forward and now the situation was spiraling; other vendors even glanced over to give him strange looks. He had expected resistance or at least uncertainty, but the thought of losing Shen Jiu again – it was too much. He needed to choose his next words carefully.
He scooted back, still on his knees as he put space between them. “I am part of the Cang Qiong Mountian Sect. I am their sect leader.”
The boy's glare lessened. He hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Peak Lord of Qiong Ding Peak…” He sounded like he was repeating something he had been told. He rubbed at his temple with one hand, finishing chewing before he spoke. “I heard about you,” He took another bite and Yue Qingyuan couldn’t help but smile that Shen Jiu was eating so eagerly. “Others say you are so strong you don’t even need your sword? The jiejies told me that too before their mean master made them stop talking to me."
Yue Qingyuan nodded, his throat bobbing nervous. “Yes,” He said. “That is me…but I’m sorry about your jiejies.” He said, meaning it from his heart.
Shen Jiu’s shoulders slumped. “Me too,” The boy, no older than six, pouted in thought for a moment before he asked. “What is your name?”
Yue Qingyuan smiled softly as he handed Shen Jiu another steamed bun before Shen Jiu had even finished the first one. His little face lit up and he politely held his hand out for Yue Qingyuan to place it in his free hand. “You may call me Qing-ge.”
Shen Jiu cradled the new bun to his chest. He cocked his head to the side at Yue Qingyuan’s reply, frowning as he considered it. Then he quickly shook his head. "No." He stated.
Yue Qingyuan laughed lightly. “You don’t like that?” He asked.
The boy shook his head more emphatically. “Wrong. It sounds wrong.” Shen Jiu insisted, clutching his food in front of him as he continuously shook his head.
Yue Qingyuan pretended to consider this, placing a finger to his chin. “Well then, what shall you call me?” Yue Qingyuan asked, tapping his finger over his lips thoughtfully. "Just Gege? Or -"
“Qi-Ge,” Shen Jiu said confidently, as if it was obvious.
Several seconds had passed as he absorbed the boy’s words, and slowly, Yue Qingyuan’s eyes lit up with joy. Oh...“Qi-Ge it is.” He stated firmly, nodding in sync with Shen Jiu.
Shen Jiu seemed pleased with this and stared at Yue Qingyuan with a small quirk of his lips. Not quite a smile, but still utterly adorable. “If you are truly Peak Lord of Qiong Ding Peak, then you must not be a liar.” He said with confidence. “I could go with you, for a little bit. What will we do when we get to your home?"
Yue Qingyuan stood up excitedly. He knew he was barely holding it together now that Shen Jiu was willing to get away from the streets and be somewhere that Yue Qingyuan actively could protect him, could save him. This time - “Perhaps we could get more food once we arrive?”
Shen Jiu was in the middle of stuffing the second bun in his robes, hiding it for later. He raised an eyebrow at Yue Qingyuan, his mouth dropping open. “There will be more food today?” He asked, awed.
The sight was too heartbreaking. Yue Qingyuan could have cried at the small child’s enthusiasm. “Of course.” He promised empathically. “We could go now, if you would like?”
Shen Jiu looked around the marketplace and his eyes lingered on the small pile of rotten food he had been sifting through. He deliberated for several seconds, his small face scrunched up as he made his choice.
“Okay,” Shen Jiu said in a small, timid voice. “Is it far?” He mumbled the question, cheeks redding with embarrassment. "I can walk!" He insisted, puffing his chest out.
Yue Qingyuan risked a glimpse down and took in Shen Jiu's roughed up and ripped shoes. He shook his head. “I believe you. It is not terribly far, though it is a decent walk. Would you like me to carry you, so it goes by faster?” He offered, instantly cringing at himself. He was terrified of scaring Shen Jiu off and he kept getting impatient in his urge to protect Shen Jiu... again.
To his shock, Shen Jiu did not recoil from his offer. Instead he made a soft humming sound as he considered, coping a gesture from Yue Qingyuan as he tapped a finger to his chin. Then, to Yue Qingyuan’s absolute shock and delight, Shen Jiu held his arms up as his answer, waiting to be picked up.
Yue Qingyuan swallowed back the choking sob that was wrapping around the back of his throat, and instead carefully bundled him up. He held Shen Jiu in his arms, covering him with his sleeve to warm up the child the best he could. Not that it was terrible cold out but his clothes were so thin.
“We will be there soon and I- Qi-Ge will get you something else to eat, is that okay?” Yue Qingyuan said, fingers tracing across Shwn Jiu's cheek, fingers coming away with dust and stains. He did not care.
Shen Jiu burrowed himself against Yue Qingyuan’s chest, still protectively covering the food Yue Qingyuan had given him. “Okay,” He said. After some deliberation in which Shen Jiu seemed to mentally go back and forth on, Shen Jiu reached into his robe and pulled the uneaten bun out. "You can have a bite too." Shen Jiu offered, a little hesitant.
Yue Qingyuan feared his eyes were growing bloodshot. He blinked rapidly before shaking his head. "It's for you, Xiao Jiu" his voice trembled. "You can save it to eat later. I can eat with you, if you wish."
Shen Jiu blinked slowly before he cradled the food back in the palm of his hand. "Xiao Jiu..." He repeated in a small voice, his eyes fluttering shut in the warmth of the embrace. "I like that."
Yue Qingyuan rushed home faster than he could ever remember doing so before, holding Shen Jiu tightly in his arms the entire time. Going even faster when the boy felt secure enough to actually close his eyes.
*
“So…” Liu Qingge said, arms crossed as he stared at the small child sitting at the table. Shen Jiu was diligently eating some hot soup before he grabbed at a cup of water, downing it in two gulps. “He is him?” He pointed from Shen Jiu to an equally stunned Shen Qingqui.
Whipping his fan excessively, Shen Qingqui was staring at Shen Jiu with a confused expression, fingers twitching at his sides as though he wanted to pat the boy's head. Shen Jiu paid them all no mind as he went back to eating from the hot soup, his little feet kicking out happily as he ate.
“But how?” Luo Binghe asked, who of course was never far from his Shen Qingqui. “The resemblance is uncanny…but how can that be when Shizun is still here?” He was gripping said Shizun’s waist in a desperate hold. Shen Qingqui's face turned a slight shade of red but he did not push his husband away.
Yue Qingyuan didn't answer right away. He was paying special attention to Xiao Jiu who was shaking his empty cup, starting to scowl at the lack of water. Without delay, Yue Qingyuan swept his sleeve out of the way so he could pour Shen Jiu more water, beaming with pride when Shen Jiu shot him a grateful look as he drank more.
Yue Qingyuan turned to face the group, preparing to speak quietly with the others when he felt tugging on one of his sleeves. He raised a brow in surprise when he saw Shen Jiu’s small fingers grabbing at his sleeve.
“Is Qi-Ge leaving?" He asked, looking truly scared for the first time.
How was he supposed to step away after that? Impossible. “No,” He said patiently, sitting next to the boy again. “I will be right here.”
Shen Jiu relaxed, but he still held on to his sleeve, eating with his free hand. Once Shen Jiu was eating again, Yue Qingyuan replied. “I think when Qingqiu-Shidi - ” Yue Qingyuan hesitated, unable to say the word 'died'. Even with his shidi back, it was a hard memory to linger on. “When...that had happened to him, he was…gone, technically.”
All of them except for Shen Qingqui either shuddered, blinked sadly, or swallowed thickly at the memory. Yue Qingyuan continued. “So when he was...gone, Shen Jiu returned to the world, reincarnated. It would explain it, given his age. He does seem about six years old...” He reached over, wanting to pet Shen Jiu’s head before he hesitated and dropped his hand, not willing to scare the child again.
“So we have two Shen Qingquis?” Liu Qingge asked with another glance at the small boy, his stiff features softening at the boy's content expression. He may be a Peak Lord but even he of all people couldn't help but melt at the sight.
“Yes, it appears so…” Shen Qingqui said slowly, also staring at the child as he fanned himself, a small smile growing on his lips. “A little twin…”
Luo Binghe’s eyes widened comically. “A little Shizun,” He whispered. “Shizun was so cute as a child.” He turned to look at Shen Qingqui, a full pout on his face. “How could Shizun not tell me this?? You were so cute and this one missed it!” Yue Qingyuan would probably never be used to how childlike Luo Binghe could be around Shen Qingqui.
Shen Qingqui did not roll his eyes at his husband, but Yue Qingyuan could tell it was a hard fought battle. “How was I supposed to show you?? I don’t exactly have artwork of myself as a kid laying around.” Luo Binghe grinned, not upset at all by the usual stoic Shen Qingqui's outburst.
Yue Qingyuan hid his smile with his sleeve, watching Shen Jiu finish his soup without any scraps left. He would need to make sure to feed that soup to Shen Jiu often if it made him look so content.
The usually stubborn Liu Qingge proved to not be immune to the small boy, as he reached over to snag one of the buns Yue Qingyuan had bought and set on the table. When Shen Jiu didn't instantly grab it, Liu Qingge slid it closer with one finger, face blank.
Eyeing it wearily, Shen Jiu looked at Liu Qingge stoic expression, before he looked back at Yue Qingyuan, tugging on his sleeve. Yue Qingyuan couldn’t help it; he patted the small boy's head as he nodded. "You can eat it or save it for later, no one will take it from you."
With that assurance, Shen Jiu eagerly grabbed at it, getting crumbs on Yue Qingyuan’s robes but he didn’t mind it at all. He held on to the food, not taking a bite but seemingly pleased to know it was his.
“Qi-Ge?” Shen Jiu asked tentatively after some moments had passed. Yue Qingyuan’s heart melted at the term.
“Yes, Xiao Jiu?” Yue Qingyuan asked as he kneeled by Shen Jiu, eagerly to help with whatever Shen Jiu’s request would be.
"Can I really save the rest of the food and eat it later?" Shen Jiu asked, needing the confirmation again.
Seemingly unable to act detached any longer, Shen Qingqui took a step closer. "Of course, little twin. Qi-Ge wouldn't lie to you." He smiled at Yue Qingyuan, encouragingly.
If not for the fact that Luo Binghe would probably start breaking Yue Qingyuan's neck, he'd have bawled as he hugged Shen Qingqui.
Shen Jiu's lips tighten in confusion as he examined Shen Qingqui's face. He felt his own nose and chin with his hands before apparently growing bored and ignoring whatever he was thinking of.
"Okay," Shen Jiu said slowly, pleased to have that as an answer, and he hugged the wrapped food near his chest protectively. He had finished almost all of his food, more food than Yue Qingyuan thought a small body could contain. Yue Qingyuan made a mental note to look up what types of food was best for a child of his age.
With a careful body to himself, Shen Jiu took one of the wrapped buns and started ripping it apart until there were four, messily ripped apart pieces. He tapped his finger against his mouth (Yue Qingyuan was going to die from heart failure, he just knew it) and then pushed them outwards on the table. Looking at the adults. "Geges can have some too." He placed his hands on his lap, trying to mimic how Yue Qingyuan was sitting.
Oh yeah, heart failure or qi diviation was inevitable at this point.
Liu Qingge got up, stiffly rubbing his face before anyone could see his reaction. "I'm fine," he snapped at a snickering Luo Binghe. He cleared his throat before grabbing a piece, nodding his thanks.
She Jiu beamed and then looked at the other men expectedly.
Yue Qingyuan was quite proud of himself for grabbing a piece without sobbing. He did very well, if he did say so himself.
Shen Qingqui didn't have to take a step because Luo Binghe grabbed his pieces, bowing respectfully to Shen Jiu and earning himself a giggle from Shen Jiu, and a fond yet exaggerated sigh from Shen Qingqui.
Once all had grabbed a piece, Shen Jiu wiped his still stained fingers on the front of his shirt, his other hand still holding Yue Qingyuan’s tightly. Yue Qingyuan knew he should have at least washed the boy's hands but he didn't have the strength to stop him from eating his full.
Liu Qingge noticed Shen Jiu's action and shot Yue Qingyuan an annoyed look. He silently grabbed a basin full of water and a cloth, setting it near the boy. He didn’t say anything, his feature indifferent though his hands were slow and careful as he dunked the cloth in the water, before he held his hand out to Shen Jiu.
Shen Jiu glared at him questionably before he turned his head to Yue Qingyuan, as if to ask if this person was safe. Liu Qingge had offered him the bun before, but Shen Jiu was still looking to Yue Qingyuan for confirmation, for help.
Fearing his voice would fail him, Yue Qingyuan nodded instead. Shen Jiu seemed to take that as enough and he cautiously placed his small hand in Liu Qingge’s larger one, big eyes wide with trust. Liu Qingge blinked rapidly, clearing his throat as he smoothly started cleaning off the grime on Shen Jiu’s chubby cheeks and little hands.
“We should have guest robes in his size,” Yue Qingyuan said in an urge to fill the silence, least he start doing something foolish, like pulling Shen Jiu into a hug and start crying into his hair. Just because it's Shen Jiu, didn't mean he was his Shen Jiu. He may never remember his past life and still deserved space and not an overwhelming presence. “I will ask Mu Qingfang to assist with grabbing some spare uniforms when he arrives, after he looks Shen Jiu over to make sure all is well.”
Shen Jiu frowned at the words, his little face making odd expressions as he is cleaned from the marks on his face. “But...When do I have to go back?” Shen Jiu asked as Liu Qingge finished cleaning him up.
The three men looked at Yue Qingyuan expectedly, unsure of what the boy meant. Yue Qingyuan frowned, not entirely certain either.
“Go back where?” Luo Binghe asked, his tone soft like it was when directed to Shen Qingqui. He was still holding onto his husband fiercely and Yue Qingyuan made sure not to smile. He probably failed.
Shen Jiu didn’t answer, distracted by feeling over his face and looking over his clean hands approvingly. “Thank you very much,” He said slowly, still sounding uncertain when he said it. Yue Qingyuan knew that Shen Jiu, the original Shen Jiu, was rarely offered gentle gestures, even something as small as a fresh bun was never offered without Shen Jiu suffering some sort of consequences.
Liu Qingge cleared his throat, nodding at Shen Jiu's thanks.
The hint of a small smile on Shen Jiu's face made Yue Qingyuan want to look away for fear he'd start crying then and there. He wanted to give this Xiao Jiu a better childhood, give him fresh food, clean clothes, an embrace when he was scared or needed it. He wanted to give him everything he failed to do before. Shen Jiu would never have to worry about such things like where to sleep or where to get food anymore, not with Yue Qingyuan around.
He glanced at Shen Qingqui, who had stopped fanning himself and was staring at Shen Jiu with a sorrowful expression. Yue Qingyuan could not describe how overjoyed he was that this Shen Qingqui was clean, well fed, and happy now, after all he had been through. But now that there was a chance that Yue Qingyuan could help Xiao Jiu, save him when before he could not, he had to wonder what he must have done in this life to be granted such a gift. He didn’t think he deserved it but he would treasure it for the rest of his life.
“Where do you think you will be sent back to, Xiao Jiu?” Yue Qingyuan asked when Shen Jiu hadn't answer.
“Back home? To the alley where I sleep?” Shen Jiu replied like it was obvious, his little feet still moving in a mindless rhythm after having a full belly. “Won’t you send me away now? I'd rather go back now before it gets too dark. It's hard to see in the dark.” He stated in case the others weren't aware.
Liu Qingge’s eyes widened and he turned to look at Yue Qingyuan accusingly. “You can’t send him to sleep on the streets!” His voice sounded horrified as he placed a hand on Shen Jiu's boney shoulder. “He’s just a small boy!”
“I was never going to!” Yue Qingyuan said, hurt at the accusation.
Luo Binghe’s eyes were wet within seconds. “He can’t go back! How could you even think to do such a thing!? Have you no heart?!” He looked moments away from either crying or ripping Yue Qingyuan’s head off.
“I already said I wasn’t going to!” Yue Qingyuan was not going to stomp his foot in frustration. He was not. "And don't yell, you'll scare Shen Jiu!"
Instead of holding back fear, Shen Jiu was trying to stifle a giggle, covering his mouth with his small hands. The warmth that spread through Yue Qingyuan’s chest was well worth the yelling from the others.
Shen Qingqui placed a hand on Luo Binghe’s shoulder, instantly calming him. “Let him speak,” He said in a low voice. "You know he's not that kind of person."
Yue Qingyuan kneeled back down until he was eye level with Shen Jiu. “Do you want to go back?” He asked, letting Shen Jiu know he wasn’t going to be forced to stay, that kindness didn’t come with pain - but what Yue Qingyuan wouldn’t give if it meant that Shen Jiu would be somewhere where Yue Qingyuan and the others could protect him.
Shen Jiu actually considered it for a moment before he shook his head firmly. “No, not any more. All of my nice jiejies friends had to leave and the dogs always bark at me when I try to eat food that was thrown out.” He dragged in a small breath, nodding. “I’d much rather eat in an alley near Qi-Ge.” He said firmly.
Shen Qingqui clenched his fan shut, clearly affected by the boy. He looked up at Yue Qingyuan imploringly. “Shixiong,” He said in an uncharacteristically begging tone, pleading for him to correct Shen Jiu from the misunderstanding.
Yue Qingyuan was already going to offer Shen Jiu a place to stay, but seeing his other Shen Qingqui's heartbroken expression made Yue Qingyuan’s chest crack even further.
“Xiao Jiu,” Yue Qingyuan said in a soft tone, so so so pleased that he could say those words again. He didn’t think he would ever be tired of it. “You could stay here, not in an alley but in a bed. Would that be something you'd like?”
A small frown grew and deepened on Shen Jiu’s face. “Why?” He asked carefully. “What will I have to do?”
“You can train with the other disciples, if you would like,” Yue Qingyuan offered. “Or you can stay with the children your age here, and you can go wherever you want.” Then he could get a childhood with friends and loved ones, be near people that would work hard to keep him safe from harm.
Liu Qingge seemed surprised by the offer, afterall, they rarely invited disciples; they were the type of clan that would get sought out. Yet he cleared his throat, attempting to look indifferent when he spoke. “You’ll get food on the table no matter what you pick.” Liu Qingge shrugged, failing at looking aloof.
Yue Qingyuan nodded eagerly, thankful for Liu Qingge’s words. “And a place to sleep. And there are nice children around your age here, you could be friends with them.”
Shen Jiu considered the words, looking tempting as he bit the inside of his chubby cheek. “And Qi-Ge will still be here?”
Yue Qingyuan felt the burning behind his eyes before he felt the tear fall. “Yes,” He said, quickly rubbing at his cheek with the back of his hand. “Qi-Ge will not leave.” he couldn’t change the past, erase his shame, or fix mistakes he long since regretted, but here, he could help.
Shen Jiu smiled - not just smiled- grinned happily before he moved up to bundle himself in Yue Qingyuan’s arms. Instinctively, Yue Qingyuan’s arms tighten around Shen Jiu as the young boy sagged bonelessly in his arm, feeling safe enough to do so. “Then Shen Jiu wants to stay here with Qi-Ge, and angry-Ge, and pretty-Ge and weird-Ge!” He announced confidently.
“Who are you calling ‘angry’?” Liu Qingge demanded with no real malice.
Luo Binghe looked at his husband. "Shizun, am I weird?"
"Very much so, my love." Shen Qingqui didn't try to keep the fondness out of his voice.
Yue Qingyuan rocked Shen Jiu back and forth slightly, feeling Shen Jiu’s smiling cheeks press against his chest. They would all do whatever they needed to protect Shen Jiu.
And that was a promise Yue Qingyuan would never break.