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With the spell from Rowena gone, Castiel finds that he wants to hide from the actions he has committed while under it. Even if it meant avoiding Dean. He could’ve hurt him, and that makes his chest ache terribly. Even when Dean calls to check on him, he can’t bring himself to pick up the phone.
To hide from such things, Cas hops in his tan 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V he is so fond of and just drives and drives. Eventually, he finds a decent looking motel and decides he will retire for the night. He parks in a vacant spot close to the entrance and kills the engine. He removes his key from the ignition and exits the vehicle and shutting the door behind him. He goes around to the passenger side and grabs a laptop he acquired not so long ago.
Cas heads inside and speaks with the clerk at the counter, and then he takes the key to his room and heads down the hall to find it. When he does find his room, he uses the key and unlocks the door. He opens the door, enters, then shuts the door behind him. He looks around the room, assessing it carefully. The bed faces the door, and its sheets are a sleek red color that reminds him of a shirt Dean owns. The walls were a similar shade of red, and the carpet on the floor was an ashy brown color and looked soft enough.
To Cas’s right, there is a tiny kitchenette adorned with marble counters and tile flooring. Beside the fridge was a door to the bathroom. To his left are two armchairs facing a small television standing on a wooden cabinet with four doors.
The room was fairly cozy for a run of the mill motel room, but Cas liked it. He thinks Dean would appreciate it.
Cas wants Dean and his things in his room - he misses him all the time. With a sigh, Cas takes a seat in one of the armchairs and opens his laptop. God, he’s got to stop thinking about Dean so much. He stares at the screen for a moment, and then he types his name into Google’s search bar. It takes a couple seconds to load, but Google comes up empty. Cas then decides to search up his vessel, Jimmy again. Like before, it takes a few moments to load; when it finally does, Castiel is met with photos of Jimmy before he became his vessel - before death swept him away and delivered him to Heaven.
Now he’s just stalking himself on the internet to see what Dean could find.
Cas finds himself yearning for Dean’s presence and things in his room again, still missing him. Cas wishes he could just bottle it all up and forget it all. Dean makes it look easy - leaving everything behind. How come he can’t do it?
Right, he’s hopelessly in love with him. Human feelings were hard.
Castiel rubs his face, turning his head to the window. He liked when it was dark out, thinking that October could cure him of his proverbial feelings. Time was said to heal all wounds. He felt like a desperate teenager - he hopes he’s using the phrase correctly - with how much he yearns for Dean’s presence.
He isn’t asking for much. He’s hoping Dean would call, even though he’s been dodging said calls. If he were to slit his throat, would Dean mourn him? Maybe. He finds himself wanting Dean and his things in his room once more. God, he misses him. Dean always looked so cool - it almost hurt and made him miss him even more.
Cas is cast out of his thoughts when his phone rings, making his heart leap in his chest. He fishes his phone out of his pocket, and he looks down at the screen to see Dean’s caller ID. His stomach does a few flips - oh God, Dean’s calling! - and then he hits the answer button. “Hello Dean,” He says casually. “Hey Cas, just calling to check in ‘cause I haven’t heard from you. You doin’ alright?” questioned Dean in his concerned tone he dawns when he hasn’t heard from Cas in a long time.
Cas’s breath is caught in his throat. Is it too soon to say what’s on his mind? It probably is.
He sighs, leaning back into the armchair. “I am well. I have been preoccupied lately.” He answers, hoping it was good enough to get Dean off his back. Cas is still riding the high that he’s actually on the phone with Dean after so long. He’s hoping he doesn’t pick up on it.
“Oh, am I interrupting?” Dean inquires curiously. “Not at the moment, no,” replied Castiel. It was silent on each line for a second before Dean chuckles. Cas’s heart hammers against his chest at the melodic sound of Dean’s laughter. “Good, good! I was…I was worried about you. Just thought I’d check up on ya.” He states with a lighter tone. Cas can’t help but smile. “Thank you for calling, Dean. Have you been well?” Cas prattled back, enjoying the light conversation. “Yeah, I’m good,” Dean starts, clearing his throat. “Sammy and I were about to head out on a case, but I wanted to see if you would pick up first,” He adds, his tone returning to that business like one he has when he’s about to do something.
Cas hums in understanding. “Ahh, excellent. If you need any help regarding lore or a helping hand, you can call me back,” He states in a caring, yet factual tone. “Will do, Cas. Take care.” Dean responds. “And you as well,” retorted Castiel, and then the two hung up.
Cas sinks into the armchair, a heavy weight lifting off of his chest. It felt good to hear Dean’s voice, and he never wants to forget that feeling.