Chapter Text
The bright orange light of the sun creeped through the curtains of the dorm windows.
Jabber's alarm started blaring, it was 7:00 AM and Jabber had to be headed to class in 45 minutes. He was a sophomore in college. Majoring in who knows what. Something extravagantly weird probably. He slowly slid out of his bed and plopped to the floor. He laid flat on the cold dorm room floor staring at his ceiling.
“God I should just sleep in...” he groaned as he mustered up the strength to pick himself up off of the floor and head toward his closet.
He lazily picked out an outfit for the day. A black long sleeve shirt and grey sweatpants.
The usual comfy fit, Jabber usually wasn’t one to worry too much about how he looked, but he always managed to look presentable somehow. He picked out some fresh undergarments and headed off to the bathroom. He stared in the mirror for a good five minutes, dreading what was to come.
Jabber was medium height with semi-dark skin and lock dreads that fell all the way to his hips. He had many piercings that went down his ears, an eyebrow piercing and a tongue piercing. All which he did himself. He had dark brown eyes, but in certain lighting they sometimes looked almost purple-ish. He also had this type of energy that radiated from him. The kind that was friendly and welcoming but also an unreadable aura that lied low, far beneath the surface. A vibe that was not quite readable, almost sinister in a way.
He took a deep breath and pulled his shirt off, over his head. He winced at the feeling of his clothes peeling off of his skin. He stared in the mirror once more. Disappointed at the sight in front of him. He stepped into the shower and turned the faucet on.
“Shit!” A low yell escaped from him as he shakily reached to turn the temperature down.
Everyday was the same. Why did he do this to himself? He knew that the pleasure he felt from slitting his own flesh was only temporary. A short relief that he felt all at once.
It only lasted a few short minutes and there he is. Stuck cleaning up a mess that he created for himself. Deep down he told himself it was all a part of the fun. Doing something bad and then hiding it was a thrill he secretly enjoyed.
He zoned out in the shower, trying to focus on washing up rather than the burning sensation of the hot shower water on his fresh wounds.
On the other side of the wall stood Zanka, his roommate. Ravaging through the fridge looking for something to eat. He moved a carton of spoiled milk aside to reveal four eggs.
“Guess I’ll have to make due with this” he sighed to himself.
He then grabbed the four eggs and flipped the stove on. In just five minutes he was whipping up some delicious omelettes. One for him and one for Jabber. Zanka made his omelette with nondairy cheese due to his low dairy tolerance. He set the plates down and headed toward Jabber's room to inform him that breakfast was ready.
“Hurry up in there Jabber! Your breakfast is getting cold.” He said while knocking aggressively.
Zanka was just an inch or two shorter than Jabber. He had medium length, multi colored hair, half blonde half brunette. His blonde half fell down in front of his face and his brunette half fell down the back of his neck. Zanka had light blue eyes and (what some would say) abnormally long lashes for a guy. Unlike Jabber he only had two piercings. Both on his ears (and both which Jabber did for him) Zanka had a different energy than Jabber. He was more of the responsible type but still trustworthy and reliable.
Most of the time Zanka was the one taking care of Jabber, seeing as Jabber wasn’t all that good at taking care of himself. He was too busy living in the moment, while Zanka was more responsible.
“Yeah yeah don’t get your panties in a bunch, I’m coming!” Jabber yelled back while holding a hair tie with his teeth.
He collected his long dreads with his hands and threw his luscious locks up into a mid- pony tail. He pulled at his clothes as he grabbed the books he needed for class. He snatched up his keys and stuffed them into his pocket, the yellow hallway light flickered, beaming into his eyes as he opened the door.
“Damn we really do need to change that light.” He yawned while rubbing his eyes and walking into the kitchen.
“Jeez it’s been what? Five minutes since you’ve woken up? How are you already fussing about something? I’m over here making both of our breakfasts. You want me to be a maintenance man too now?” Zanka rolled his eyes.
Jabber chuckled at this sight. He loved teasing Zanka and making him moody. It was just too easy to rage bait him.
“Okay okay sorry Mommm.” Jabber snarked as he grabbed his plate and ate the omelette Zanka had prepared for him in just three bites. “You’re extra moody this morning..” he mumbled between chewing.
“Doesn’t your class start in 30 minutes? Why are you scarfing it down, dude.” Zanka blinked as he slowly zipped up his bag.
“I have somewhere I need to stop before class this morning.” Jabber tossed the plate in the sink and quickly ran the water over it.
Still chewing, he reached for the door gesturing that Zanka go first. Zanka grabbed his bag and walked out the door.
“Heh..ladies first” Jabber whispered teasingly.
“Bitch do not try me this morning.“ Zanka stomped on Jabber's foot and marched ahead leaving him limping in pain.
They acted like they hated each other, but inside they knew it was how they showed their love for each other.
Zanka and Jabber had been roommates since freshman year. Their time as room mates started out bumpy, they weren’t very fond of each other their first time meeting. It took them a while to warm up to each other but eventually they realized how much they enjoyed each other's presence. Neither of them wanted to admit it but deep down they knew that the mutual feeling they had for each other was more than that of a regular friendship…
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The clock striked 4:00 PM and the sound of shuffling filled the lecture hall. Students rushed to get to late classes, and others rushed to go home. Jabber was one of the lucky ones who was headed home. He had arrived back at the dorm at 4:10 sharp. He shut the door, placed his keys on his designated hook and plopped right on the couch.
“Damnnnnn I am beat...” He mumbled to himself as he pulled out his phone to scroll on Instagram.
Not too long after him, Zanka burst through the door plopping down right beside him. Zanka let out a long sigh before turning to Jabber.
“Long day? Whatchu over here sighing so loud for?” Jabber grumbled without breaking his attention away from scrolling.
“Riyo has been texting me all day long. She wants us to meet her at some party a block away.” Zanka groaned, not delighted to share this news.
Jabber on the other hand sat right up, delighted at that.
“Zankaaaa you are no fun at all! This is a great opportunity for us to get out of here.”
He then sprung up from the couch dragging Zanka with him to his room to pick out an outfit.
Zanka wanted to protest but knew it was too late. Jabber had that glimmer in his eyes that he gets when he has his heart set on something.
“Oh come on Jabber! I wouldn’t have told you if I’d thought you were gonna agree!! It’s been a long week for both of us with exams, are you not exhausted??” Zanka complained as he sprawled out his legs while leaning back in Jabber's chair.
“You know Zanka, the best way to unwind from a long week is to party a little! Have some fun would yuh?” Jabber tossed a t-shirt and a pair of baggy Jorts onto his bed then trailed off into the bathroom.
“Well?.. What are you waiting for? Go get ready! Parties in an hour.” Jabber poked his head out, his voice muffled as he brushed his teeth.
Zanka stared at the wall for a while and then sighed.
“I shouldn’t have even told him..”
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Thirty five minutes later Riyo arrived to carpool everybody to the party.
Riyo reached over her seat, flinging the back door open for the two of them, “Jeez you guys took your sweet time getting out here didn’t you? We nearly fell asleep waiting!”
“WASSUPPP RIYOOO” Jabber flung himself into the backseat, ready to get his party on.
“Jeez Jabber, you sure you didn’t already secretly take a shot on your own?” Zanka closed the door behind him and scooted into the back seat next to Jabber.
“Okay guys so who volunteers to drive us home on the way back? Because I know I am going to be wasted” she laughed as she sped past the yellow light.
“Not it!” Jabber blurted, quickly holding his finger to the tip of his nose.
“Oh come on! If I am going to get dragged to a party, I’m going to have a couple drinks.” Zanka groaned.
“Well…what about you Rudo? Are you even old enough to drive?” Riyo tilted her head towards the passenger seat where Rudo sat half asleep.
Rudo rubbed his eyes and peaked his head out towards the back revealing himself.
“OH! Hey Rudo didn’t see you there bud. You’re really good at being quiet, you know that?” Jabber laughed.
Zanka slightly jumped, frightened by Rudo's sudden appearance.
“Rudo?? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be hanging out with your high school friends and… I don’t know.. be doing high school things??”
“Oh come on guys! It’s my last year of highschool, I’ve had my share of parties you know? I’m not a baby!” Rudo crossed his arms almost pouting.
“Well that’s perfect! If you’ve had your share of parties then you wouldn’t mind being our designated driver!” Riyo announced.
“Wait a damn minute! That is not what I meant!-“ Rudo started but got interrupted by Jabbers excited yell.
“WOOO LETS GET LITTY!!!”
The four of them spilled out of the car one by one. Riyo, who had stepped out last, revealed her glamorous outfit. She was wearing a cropped red leather top and low rise jeans.
For others parties were a way to let loose and be carefree for a night. But for Riyo, it was an opportunity to flirt with a bunch of people. She confidently strutted ahead towards the door, as she opened it the bright sight of flashing party lights spilled out from the growing gap of the door.
“LET'S PARTY!!!!!” She yelled, throwing both arms into the air. Her glittery bright red eyeshadow glimmered in the ray of the party lights. She puckered her lips, batted her eyelashes and disappeared into the dance floor ready to mingle.
“Ay Rudo, watch that one.” Zanka gestured in Riyo's direction before disappearing himself.
“Oh come on! I’m here to have fun too guys! Why am I stuck babysitting?” Rudo groaned.
“Yeah you have fun with that lil bro” Jabber said before also disappearing himself, specifically toward the beer pong area.
Several hours had passed by and for those two hours everyone was doing their own thing.
Riyo was currently talking to a girl with short blue hair in a corner of party. Zanka was whipping up some kind of concoction using random opened bottles he had found at the table and Jabber was on his fifth drink of the night.
For most drinking was an outlet for letting loose, for Jabber it was a way to forget. A coping mechanism if you will.
For Jabber alcohol and cutting fell hand in hand. They both helped him forget things he didn’t want to remember. They both drowned out the loud noise in his head. The only difference was that drinking was more socially acceptable than cutting himself. The truth was that Jabber had a rough childhood, which is what led him to choosing unhealthy ways of coping. It’s not like he picked this life, but he couldn’t help but feel like every little inconvenience was somehow his fault. I guess that’s what comes with having shitty parents growing up.
Aside from that, Jabber was having the time of his life. He had made his way around the room talking and mingling with everyone possible. Just when he was about to pour himself another drink Zanka stepped in.
“Jeez Jabber, hold back much? Come on, you've had enough to drink.” Zanka himself was a little bit drunk, but only off of two drinks. A much more reasonable amount than five (almost six.)
“God yurb subch a buzzkilll Zanks..” Jabber's words came out all scrambled.
“Lord” Zanka mumbled under his breath, puzzled by the nonsense coming from Jabber's mouth.
“ Com on Zanker, letz forget a lil longher yah?” Jabber splurged out before nearly falling on top of Zanka.
“Come on Jabber, I think we can call it a night here.” Zanka steadied Jabber by wrapping his left arm around his shoulder.
Zanka, with Jabber shuffling by this side, scanned the room for Rudo and Riyo. He then spotted them both in a game of spin the bottle. He sat Jabber on the couch temporarily while he went to go get the two of them.
“Hey guys, are you ready to bounce? Jabber has drank way more than he can handle.” Zanka said pointing towards the lopsided Jabber sprawled out on the couch.
“Aw man!! But the fun is just beginning!! How bout we leave after this round?” Riyo suggested.
Zanka glimpsed over his shoulder at Jabber and then back at Riyo.
“Yeah I don’t know, I think I need to get Jabber out of here asap.” Zanka said, showing a slight concerned look on his face.
Riyo noticed the glimpse of worry in Zanka’s tone and offered to call them an Uber.
After 5 minutes the Uber had arrived. Zanka and Jabber were on their way back to their dorms.
“Thapt was sooo fun Zanker” Jabber said drunkenly.
“Yeah yeah mister party guy, limit yourself a little better next time and maybe we’d stay longer yeah?” Zanka teased then looked out his window.
Everything was going fine until a familiar feeling crept up Jabber's spine. The alcohol just slightly wore off enough for him to be pretty conscious. A sudden flash of anxiety hit him out of nowhere. It happened often when he drank a lot, and it was never pleasant. He tried to ignore it by fidgeting with the bracelets on his wrists or looking out the windows, counting the cars flying by. But it wasn’t working. Suddenly every emotion, every feeling, every negative experience Jabber had ever faced all hit him at once. Until it had become unbearable.
“S-stop the car please.” Jabbed demanded, just barely loud enough to not be a whisper.
Zanka whipped his head around concerned.
“Are you okay Jabber?-"Before Zanka could finish Jabber had flung out of the car headed toward a couple of bushes. Zanka ran out after him to check if he was okay. He walked up to find Jabber puking in the bushes. Gasping for air between each gag. Zanka moved the stray locks from Jabber's face and gently rubbed his back, letting him know he was right there with him.
After a few moments Jabber had stopped throwing up. He then sat down in the grass. Leaning back with one arm in the ground, messaging his head with the other. He tried to catch his breath, he tried to play it off as a little after party nausea but Zanka was smarter than that. He could see the panic in Jabber's face, as much as he tried to hide it. Zanka met Jabber's eyes and he placed a hand on his shoulder.
“You alright dude? You look like shit.”
The sudden comment snapped Jabber back into reality. Almost smirking, Jabber nudged Zanka.
“Ha, Jerk” he said as he continued to rub away his pounding headache.
“No but I’m serious, are you alright you look super unwell dude..” Zanka said in all seriousness.
“Oh no yeah I’m good, just the after effects of drinking too much alcohol ha…”
“Oh yeah, sure.. well do you think we can make it back home without you puking on me?…” Zanka stood up offering a helping hand towards Jabber.
“Yeah I think I should be good now..” Jabber said, using Zanka’s hand to propel himself back on his feet.
He was indeed not good.
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By the time they had gotten back to the dorms it was around 12:00 AM. Jabber was mostly able to walk on his own now, but was still using Zanka to balance himself as he walked. Zanka walked beside him, covered in puke. (Jabber puked on him not even 20 seconds after getting back in the car) Jabber too had a tiny bit on him from puking all over Zanka.
Zanka shut the door to the dorm behind them and headed straight to Jabber's room, with Jabber still leaned up against him. Zanka gently laid him down on his bed. He then went to his own room to immediately remove his smelly barf clothes. He changed into a comfortable t-shirt and basketball shorts. He came back to Jabbers room after he was done changing.
“Come on Jabber, you have to change out of that shirt otherwise you're going to smell like shit in the morning.” Zanka opened Jabber's closet looking for a comfy shirt for him to change into.
“Ugh go arway Mommmmm” Jabber lazily mumbled as he rolled over, face to his pillow.
“You ungrateful fart!” Zanka yelled back.
He then turned his attention back to the closet. He then pulled out a baggy T-shirt with a spiderman design on the front. Now that he thought about it, he can’t recall a time he has ever seen Jabber wearing a short sleeve shirt. He was always wearing long sleeve shirts or sweatshirts.
“Here Jabber, I picked out a clean shirt for you. Do you want me to help you change out of your gross clothes?” Zanka said as he gently rolled Jabber onto his side (just incase he started to feel nauseous again)
“Yeah whateverenth…” Jabber mumbled almost half asleep.
Zanka sat Jabber up expecting him to sink back into the bed but surprisingly he stayed up just enough for Zanka to slide his shirt off. But what Zanka didn’t know was the secrets that lied beneath the shirt.
“Arms up” Zanka demanded, grabbing Jabber’s shirt to pull it off.
Just as Jabber started to follow the command a part of himself snapped back into reality and realized the gravity of the situation. He then squeezed his arms by his side, tight.
“Nuh uh, tired..” he mumbled, sounding somewhat more down to earth than a few moments ago.
Zanka blinked at him and then rolled his eyes.
“Fine as you wish, but don’t say I didn’t try to help you when you wake up smelling like shit in the morning” he let go of Jabber shirt and walked towards the door. He waved him goodnight over his shoulder on the way back to his own room.
Jabber rolled back over onto his back.
“That was close.” He thought to himself. Knowing that if he hadn’t snapped out of it sooner, things would have gotten real complicated.
He proceeded to sluggishly pick himself up off of his bed and pick out a clean shirt by himself. As soon as he put it on, he passed right out on his bed.