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“Marleau, you motherfucker!”
Hayden was seeing red as soon as Shane’s body had hit the ice, a sickening thud echoing through the rink. The crowd had gone silent after a gasp of shock ran through it. Everyone was watching with bated breath, waiting for Shane, their fearless captain, to get up and shake off the hit.
He didn’t.
Hayden was too busy throwing punches at Marleau’s face and being dragged off of him by the refs to notice right away, but as soon as he did, his stomach lurched with fear. His knuckles burned from where they had connected with Marleau’s chin and his helmet, but it felt distant compared to the panic that was settling into his body.
Shane was motionless on the ice, curled up in a way that Hayden couldn’t see his face, his arm sticking out behind him awkwardly. Hayden’s blood ran cold.
Off to the side of Shane’s limp body, Hayden noticed Ilya Rozanov hovering nearby, arguing with the refs. With the blood roaring in his ears, he couldn’t make out what the Russian was saying, but he was sure it wasn’t anything good. Probably convincing them Marleau’s check was clean, legal. Hayden gritted his teeth, forcibly holding himself back from tackling Rozanov to the ground.
He watched silently as the medics came out onto the ice and heaved Shane’s body onto a stretcher. He skated a little closer and felt a rush of relief wash over him when he saw Shane’s eyelids fluttering. His lips were moving in a barely heard mumble, but the medics were talking to him, begging him to stay awake. He had a brace around his neck and Hayden’s heart clenched when he saw that bruises were already starting to form across his nose and cheeks from where Shane’s helmet had smashed against his face in the fall.
Skidding up beside the medics, he hurried to tell Shane, “I’ll come as soon as the game’s over. I’ll get your stuff from your locker and text your parents. Don’t worry, buddy.”
Shane’s head lolled toward Hayden’s voice, one eye peeking open for a split second before screwing shut again against the bright lights.
“You gotta tell ‘im… He’ll worry, please…”
“I’ll tell your dad, bud, don’t even worry,” Hayden said gently, watching helplessly as the medics went toward the tunnel.
“No, no—…” Shane continued muttering, but the medics had taken him too far away for Hayden to hear the rest of what he said.
With a gut full of acid, he turned back to the rink, eyes zeroing in on Rozanov, standing off near the boards, an unreadable look on his face. Hayden’s eyebrows furrowed momentarily, confused at his apparent concern, but shrugged it off. He must just not like seeing a hit that bad, like any player.
The rest of the game went by in a blur, the worry eating at Hayden’s insides as he tried and failed to rally his team to a win. Everyone was moving like their limbs were stuck in mud, eyes alight with fear for their captain and friend. When the final buzzer sounded, Hayden felt only relief, finally able to get to the hospital and be with Shane.
To his surprise, he noticed Rozanov barely even celebrated the win for the Raiders, hurrying off the ice after post-game handshakes without his usual fist bumps with his players.
Shaking the odd feeling off, Hayden himself rushed to the locker room and changed out of his gear in record time, already tying his street shoes on by the time the rest of the team had filtered into the room. The air was heavy with everyone’s worry for Shane.
“Did you see him before he was gone?” It was J.J., who was suddenly at his side. Hayden looked up to see J.J.’s usually upbeat and peppy face nearly crumpled with anxiety. “Was he awake?”
“Yeah,” Hayden breathed out, nervously carding his fingers through his hair. “Asking about his dad. Poor dude.”
“They’re not here today, are they?” Comeau asked from his locker, looking at Hayden with furrowed brows as he shakily undid his gear. “His parents?”
Hayden shook his head, “No. They’re spending time with old friends, Shane said, so they probably don’t even know he’s hurt. I can text them, but I feel awful they’re not here.”
As quickly as possible, Hayden hurried to pack up his bag, hardly caring about neatness (not that he usually did), haphazardly throwing his things into the duffel. He went to Shane’s locker and, with a little more care, packed up his friend’s things, knowing Shane would be upset if his clothes were too wrinkled or his bag too disorganized. The thought made his chest clench in fear of never hearing him complain again about Hayden’s messy way of living, but he forcefully pushed the thoughts away. Shane was awake, and he was talking, and those were both very good signs.
When Hayden’s hand found Shane’s phone in the top cubby of his locker, he was surprised when he felt it buzz with a text. He held the screen up and, knowing Shane’s unlock code, opened the phone and checked the notifications. His heart dropped when he saw the 5 unread texts from her.
Boston Lily.
Lily: please please call me when you are awake
Lily: please be ok
Lily: you cant leave me like this
Lily: i wont sleep until you text
Lily: please.
Hayden had a lot of mixed feelings about Shane’s Boston Lily. She had been stringing Shane along for years now. Even through his short relationship with Rose Landry, Hayden had caught Shane hovering over his text thread with Lily a few times, a crestfallen look on his face. He never brought it up to him, knowing Shane was always cagey about this mysterious Boston girl, and his very public relationship with Rose as well, never taking part in locker room talk or even inviting her to Hayden’s much. She had been to a family dinner, like, once, and even then, Hayden could see Shane was uncomfortable, fidgeting under Hayden and Jackie’s stares and questions.
When he had announced that he and Rose had split, but were still good friends, Hayden had been suspicious. If a girl as drop dead gorgeous and genuinely kind as Rose couldn’t tie down his uptight, shy friend, what was so special about this hidden Boston girl that he was constantly crawling back to her? And why couldn’t Shane talk about her, or introduce her to them? At least to Hayden?
And yet, there she was, only a little while after Shane’s hit, begging him to let her know if he was okay. Had she watched the game live, or did she only just see on Twitter or something, heart sinking as she watched the replay clip, wishing she was there? Hayden felt pity swirl up in his stomach. Even if maybe he didn’t like her at this point, she was obviously worried about Shane, and Hayden couldn’t ignore an obvious display of care from her.
As he hoisted his own bag and Shane’s onto his shoulders, he bid his team a quick goodbye, promising to text the team group chat as soon as he had any info on Shane’s condition. The team’s well wishes for Shane followed him out of the locker room as he hurried off to the parking garage and his vehicle. After shooting Shane’s mother, Yuna, a quick text letting her know he was on his way to the hospital, he pulled Shane’s phone out again and hovered over Lily’s texts nervously.
Ignoring the obvious invasion of privacy, he clicked them open and fought his curiosity (violently) to not read back on the past texts, though he couldn’t stop himself from reading the ones on the screen previous to the five Lily had sent after the hit.
Shane: I can’t wait to fucking see you.
Lily: me too
Lily: have fun losing tonight <3
Shane: fuck you asshole.
Lily: no i told you, it is “fuck me please” <3
Shane: I’m ignoring you.
Hayden couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. At least Shane was comfortable with this girl, enough to have playful banter. He assumed she must be a Raiders fan, considering she lived in Boston, but that wasn’t enough explanation for Shane to be so secretive about her.
With trembling fingers, Hayden typed out a message to her, hoping and praying he wasn’t overstepping Shane’s boundaries. Considering her frantic messaging, he figured it would be fine to at least let her know that he was going to see him and he wouldn’t be alone.
Shane: Hey, Lily. This is Hayden Pike, I’m Shane’s teammate. I’m guessing you saw the hit. I’m going to the hospital right now, so I’ll be with him. He was awake and talking before the medics took him away, so I’m sure he’s gonna pull through this and be right as rain in no time.
Shane: I’ll text you as soon as I hear anything from the doctors
As soon as the messages were sent, the read receipts showed that Lily had seen them. Hayden waited patiently as the typing dots popped up and disappeared multiple times, using his free hand to buckle up and start his car. Finally, a small whoosh notified him of a new message from her, followed by another.
Lily: thank you pike
Lily: i was so scared
Hayden felt his face crumple a bit with pity for her, not even put off by how she referred to him as “Pike” instead of his first name, and quickly sent back one more text before locking the phone and hurrying out of the parking garage towards the hospital.
Shane: I know, I’m so sorry I promise I’ll let you know everything I hear. If you want to come to the hospital, let me know. I’ll make sure they let you see him if it’s possible
—
When Hayden arrived at the hospital, his anxiety was basically all that was powering his body. He nearly sprinted to the front desk, hurriedly telling them he was there for Shane. He thanked God that Shane had put Hayden as a medical proxy alongside his parents so he could at least be told about any updates in Yuna and David’s absence.
He was directed to a waiting area in a quieter wing of the hospital, seating himself in chairs just outside of two big double doors that read “EMERGENCY WING” in stark red lettering. Hayden sat with a huff of exhaustion, eyeing the text on the doors warily. He hardly had any time to breathe before a nurse came out of the doors and asked if he was there for Shane Hollander.
He was on his feet in seconds, looking at the nurse with wide eyes. “Is he okay? Is he in surgery? What’s wrong with him?” The questions spilled out of him in a rush, the fear in his gut unable to be pushed down any longer. The nurse gave him a kind, professional smile.
“He’s being examined right now, so we won’t know anything for sure for a little while yet,” she said gently. She was holding a clipboard with a file on it, and she flipped it open to sift through it for a moment. “You are Hayden Pike?”
“Yes, that’s me,” he replied, almost wincing at the wobbly sound of his voice. “How long until we know anything?”
“The exam shouldn’t take too long,” she said easily, “The hit looked a lot worse than the damage, I think. He’s still awake and responding to all our questions, so we’ve ruled out any severe brain damage.”
Hayden fell back onto the chair as his knees gave out in relief. “Oh, thank God,” he breathed, rubbing his hands over his face. The nurse watched him sympathetically, stepping closer to place a kind hand on his shoulder.
“We need to do some X-rays on his shoulder and collarbone to see if anything is broken, so it’s gonna be a bit of a long night.” She gave his shoulder a knowing pat before stepping back again. “Either myself or the doctor caring for him will be back in a while to let you know the prognosis.”
Hayden gave the nurse a tired nod, smiling politely at her before she turned and went back through the double doors, leaving him in the harrowing silence of the hall. After a couple moments of calming breathing with his eyes closed, he opened them to stare distantly at the ceiling, rubbing his hands anxiously against his thighs.
Shane was still awake, no severe damage, just maybe a couple broken bones. He was going to be fine.
Remembering one more person who was most likely worried, he pulled out his phone and messaged Jackie with shaking hands, letting her know that Shane was going to be alright, just a bit beat up. She sent him back well wishes for Shane, and an I love you for him from her and the kids. He smiled at his phone before pocketing it again.
Hesitating, he dug back through Shane’s duffel bag and found his phone again, checking to see if Lily had responded to the text he had sent before leaving the rink. He was surprised to see nothing, eyebrows furrowing as he opened the thread and saw she had seen it. That ugly feeling he usually felt about her started bubbling in his gut, a feeling of anger that maybe she wasn’t any good for his best friend. He was laid up in the hospital right then, in her city, and she wasn’t going to come and see him? Not even try?
Pushing the thoughts away, Hayden started typing up another message, not wanting to fall short on his promise to update her, even if she was starting to piss him off with her mysteriousness.
Shane: Hey, it’s Hayden again. Shane is still awake and doing alright I think, he needs some x-rays but from what the nurse said, no brain damage. I’m gonna guess he probably has a concussion, but I haven’t met with the doctor yet.
And, because he couldn’t help himself:
Shane: I’m offering again to make sure you get to see him when he’s allowed visitors. It would probs make him super happy to see you since his parents can’t be here
It took Lily a while to open the messages, and even longer to respond, the three dots disappearing quite a few times before she finally sent a response.
Lily: thank you for update i appreciate it
Lily: it would not be good idea for me to come now. maybe tomorrow?
Lily: please understand
Hayden felt a fiery anger flare up at her replies, probably fueled by the panic of the night and all of his previous wariness of this woman. He could not understand, not one bit, why this girl who Shane obviously felt very strongly for couldn’t show up for him when he needed her. All the times Hayden caught Shane grinning like a fool down at his phone flashed behind his eyes, years of hiding his messages while his fingers danced happily across the screen, pink blush creeping up his cheeks at her responses. Hayden flexed his fingers before emotionally texting Lily back, knowing he was most likely acting a bit like a jerk, but he found he couldn’t help it. His friend was hurting, and this woman wouldn’t even try to come and be by his side. Shane didn’t deserve that.
Shane: No, actually. I don’t understand. I don’t know exactly what Shane means to you, but you mean a hell of a lot to him. For years, I’ve watched him pine after you, sneak off to see you when we play here in Boston, protect whatever it is you’re hiding in ways I know hurts him. He lies for you time after time, and you can’t even come and visit him when he’s in pain??
Shane: I’m sure you have reasons, but I can’t think of any good enough for you to abandon him here
Hayden could feel his chest heaving with shaky breaths, his hands unsteady with the anger and panic of it all. Maybe he was taking it out on this poor girl for no reason, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Lily should be here for Shane, because that’s what Shane deserves in a partner.
Three dots, again, disappearing and reappearing over and over. Hayden could feel his temper rising the longer it took for Lily to reply.
Lily: i am sorry
Lily: english is my second language. i am having a hard time
Hayden deflated a little. Okay, that he could forgive. He couldn’t imagine how hard it might be to get a big paragraph like the one he sent and translate that in her head through all the panic, and then try to respond to it.
Lily: shane means very much to me. i know i am hurting him. it is for both our goods we are hiding. if you knew, you would understand. it is not for me to tell.
Lily: please hayden i am so scared for him right now. it is hard enough not being able to be there. i do not need you to tell me how i hurt him. i know so already
Shane: I’m scared for him too. I just feel like its not fair to him that you can’t just be here, while he’s in the hospital, afraid and without his parents
Lily: you are there. he is not alone
Lily: you are good friend to him pike. this i know
Shane: But you’re his girl. Official or not, whatever. You should be here to comfort him when he wakes up.
Lily: please
Lily: i am sorry. so so sorry
Hayden heaved a disgruntled sigh. He felt the fight start to ebb out of his body, as he was obviously getting nowhere with this woman, and it seemed like he was maybe just upsetting her more. He rubbed his hand against his forehead in distress, taking one more calming breath before messaging again.
Shane: Look, if you change your mind. He’s at Massachusetts General. You ask for Shane Hollander, and text me if they give you shit and I’ll fight for you to be here.
Shane: He needs you.
With an indignant huff, he shoved the phone back in Shane’s bag, roughly letting his head fall back against the wall with a thunk. Staring again at the ceiling, he felt his eyes prickle with tears unshed, finally starting to crash after the harrowing night he was having. He screwed his eyes shut and dug his fingers into his thighs, praying, begging whoever was listening to make sure the nurse was right, and that Shane was going to be okay. That this injury wasn’t career ending.
Shane wouldn’t be able to live without hockey, Hayden knew this better than anyone. Shane lived, breathed, dreamed hockey. Hockey was everything to Shane, more than anyone on the team, anyone in the league, Hayden would guess. The only close runner up to that was probably Rozanov, but even he wasn’t as dedicated to the grind as Shane was. He knew the stories about Rozanov and had seen the tabloids. He was a party boy womanizer who spent his free time at bars, drinking his body weight in liquor, and coaxing women home without a thought. He was nothing like his Shane, his best friend, who wouldn’t even have a drop of alcohol during the season, who never brought home hook ups.
Except his Boston Lily.
Time seemed to pass by in a blur, distant beeps and rushing feet lulling Hayden into a dreamless doze as he waited and waited for a doctor to find him about Shane. He paid any passers-by no mind, and hoped they ignored him as well as he felt silent, frightened tears roll down his cheeks periodically.
After an unknown amount of time, a woman in a white lab coat came out of the double doors, startling Hayden awake. He jumped to his feet when she said his name, rushing to her without even wiping his tear stained cheeks clean.
“Is he alright?” Hayden asked, practically begged.
The doctor smiled gently. “He’s okay, Mr. Pike. We’re sorry that it took so long to get out to update you.”
“But he’s alright?” Hayden repeated again, needing her to say it a second time.
“Yes, he’s alright,” she said, placing a soft hand on his forearm. “He’s got a bad concussion, but not anything insanely severe, and his clavicle is broken, but he shouldn’t need any surgery. We’re moving him to a private, more comfortable room, and then you’ll be able to see him.”
Hayden nearly fainted with relief. Out for the playoffs, probably, but Shane would be back in no time. He thanked the doctor profusely, going as far as to shake her hand aggressively, which seemed to amuse her. She told him the floor and room he would be on, and to wait in the waiting room there for a nurse to let him know when he can go in.
As he was gathering up Shane’s things, he heard a couple frantic buzzes from the duffel bag. Heart thumping, he took out Shane’s phone and hoped it was her before reading the texts.
Lily: pike help
Lily: they won’t let me see him
Hayden almost whooped in triumph, a grin borne of relief and excitement at finally getting to meet Shane’s secret Boston Lily breaking his face in two.
Shane: They’re moving him to a private room
Shane: I’ll be right there
Hayden practically ran back down to the front desk, absolutely thrilled to surprise Shane with his special Boston girl when they let him have visitors. His feet pounded against the floor, nearly sliding in his rush to get to the desk, running through a million things he was going to say to Lily when he saw her, an apology for his behavior maybe when—
He came to a screeching halt when he saw who was frantically arguing with the receptionist, all his excitement vanishing and being replaced with total confusion.
Ilya Rozanov stood there, hunched over the check in desk as he pleaded in his broken English for the receptionist to let him see Shane. Hayden could distantly hear him, “Please, I must see him. Shane Hollander. Hayden Pike is here, he said I could see him. Please, you must let me.” Hayden registered the panic in his eyes, the shining of tear tracks down his cheeks, and the way his hands were gripping the counter so hard his knuckles were white.
Rozanov’s eyes flickered to Hayden’s, and then away, and then back again in recognition. Dropping his conversation with the receptionist, who yelped a little when he turned away so quickly, Rozanov rushed up to Hayden, a hard look on his face, unreadable to Hayden until he flashed back to the rink just hours prior: Rozanov hovering over Shane’s body, arguing with the refs, the exact same look on his face.
He was afraid.
“Pike,” he rasped, his voice gruff and tight, Hayden realized, with tears. “Is he okay?”
“You...” Hayden’s voice shook, eyes darting back and forth between Rozanov’s eyes as he tried to put the pieces together. Boston. Raiders fan. The secrecy. English as a second language. Lily.
Lily.
“You’re Lily?”
Rozanov made a pained sound, dropping his head into his hands and gripping his hair for a moment before looking into Hayden’s eyes again, a pleading look on his face.
“Pike, please.” He reached out and gripped Hayden’s upper arms, so hard it almost hurt, giving him a single, frantic shake. “Please, is he okay?”
Almost absentmindedly, Hayden nodded, taking a moment to find his voice again. “Yeah. Yeah, man, he’s okay.”
Rozanov visibly relaxed with a sigh at the words, the relief evident on his face as he let his hands fall away from Hayden’s arms, and fresh tears slipped from his eyes. Hayden watched him, and he was sure the horror was plain on his face when Rozanov looked at him. He seemed to steel himself a little, looking away to wipe his face and sniffle a bit.
“What... what the hell?” Hayden muttered, his head starting to ache with the revelation that Lily, Shane’s Lily, was a man. And not just any man, but his arch-rival and sworn enemy on the ice, Ilya Rozanov.
Ilya.
Lily.
“Pike, please,” Rozanov said again, finally dragging his eyes back to Hayden’s. “We can talk? Somewhere else.”
“Uh—Yeah. Yeah, we—Shane is being moved, like I said to... well, you, I guess,” Hayden said awkwardly, a flush of embarrassment dusting his cheeks. Rozanov had enough in him to roll his eyes, snorting in annoyance.
“Yes, me,” he retorted. Hayden scrunched up his face, returning the annoyance in stride.
“Don’t start being a prick, Rozanov,” he said pointedly, “I’m letting you see my best friend in the hospital against my better judgement. I’m not sure yet if this is an elaborative prank or not.”
“Pike, I do not even know what that word is,” Rozanov sighed with another eye roll. “Can we please go somewhere?”
Hayden scoffed indignantly before turning and gesturing him to follow, walking to the elevators that would bring them to the floor the doctor told him they moved Shane to. He gave the receptionist a small wave, letting her know Rozanov was with him. As they stepped into the elevator, Hayden felt another wave of awkwardness roll over them, both watching the numbers go up as the elevator moved.
“The doctor said to wait in this floor’s waiting room and a nurse would let us know when we could go see him,” Hayden said, hands flexing uncomfortably around the straps of Shane’s duffel bag.
“Okay,” Rozanov said simply.
They stepped out together as the doors opened and Hayden went to the help desk on this floor, letting the man behind the counter know they were waiting to see Shane. The man smiled, though he gave him and Rozanov an odd glance as they walked away to the seated area off of the hallway. Hayden hoped he wouldn’t say anything about Rozanov being there. He may not understand it, but he didn’t want anyone blabbing about Shane’s secret without his consent.
Hayden and Rozanov awkwardly sat in seats across from one another, both being unable to meet each other’s eyes. Hayden set Shane’s duffel bag on the floor, relieved to have the weight off his shoulder.
“So...” Rozanov started after a minute of silence, and if Hayden hadn’t known him any better, he would think he almost sounded shy. “You did not... read any of the texts, did you?”
“Wh—No!” Hayden squawked, screwing his face up in offense. “Who do you think I am?!”
“Well, you did open his phone,” Rozanov pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Hayden. “I thought maybe you do not know privacy.”
“So you’d have rathered I didn’t text you?” Hayden asked sharply, “God, even now, you’re an asshole. No, I didn’t read your gross texts.”
“So you know they are gross?”
“I assume they’re gross,” Hayden snapped, his temper starting to flare. “You blew up his phone with worry, and I thought you were some pitiful girl whose man just got knocked out on the ice. It only felt right to let you know I was going to see him.”
Rozanov seemed to deflate a little, leaning back and slumping down in his chair. He ran a hand through his tangled hair, and only then did Hayden take in just how frazzled the normally well kept man seemed to look. He had already seen the tears, and the fear, but considering how late it was at that point, Rozanov seemed to have been telling the truth when he said he wouldn’t sleep until he heard from Shane. His clothes were off kilter, his shoes were barely tied, one with a single lace loose, and he had dark circles forming under his eyes.
“You... care for him,” Hayden said, a little dumbly, “Don’t you?”
Rozanov almost flinched, glancing at Hayden before looking to the floor, eyebrows furrowed, lips tight.
“Yes.”
“How much? How long?”
“A lot. A long time.”
Hayden mirrored Rozanov’s position, slumping down with a puff of air escaping his lips. He rubbed the back of his neck, desperately searching through his million questions to find an appropriate one to ask.
“Do you... love him?”
Rozanov hesitated, his eyes dancing across the floor as though the ugly carpet would tell him the answer. His face scrunched a little, and to Hayden’s horror, he saw new tears well up in his blue-green eyes.
“Dude,” he started gently, “you can say it. Whatever it is. Shane is my best friend, and I just want to know you’re not... fucking with him. You know? It's—it’s okay.”
Rozanov let out a wet, humorless laugh, looking at Hayden briefly before away again, distantly staring at the far wall.
“You are giving me a dad voice.”
“Well, I do have four kids,” Hayden laughed awkwardly, feeling out of place in this civil conversation with Rozanov. He was so used to arguing, throwing cruel chirps back and forth on the ice, that this soft, real conversation was making him feel odd.
Rozanov sat up again, rubbing both hands against his face to scrub away his tears. He tried again to meet Hayden’s eyes, but his gaze dropped to the floor once more.
“We are... He—” Rozanov cut himself off with a swear in Russian under his breath, leaning on his knees with his elbows. “It is... complicated.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Hayden snorted.
“Please, Pike, you have to understand,” Rozanov begged, begged, holding his head in his hands. “It is not only my secret to tell. I have risked so much already, coming here. I risk his career, I risk his anger at me.”
“He won’t be angry,” Hayden tried gently, and he really couldn’t believe his life. He was sitting there, in the hospital, after hours of praying for Shane to be okay, comforting his biggest rival, who was his, what—lover?
“He might be,” Rozanov gritted out, his fingers digging into his head, “We protected this secret so hard, Pike. For years.”
Hayden blinked, the last line settling over him. “How many years?”
“Many,” Rozanov said quietly, finally letting his hands drop from his head, but he didn’t raise his eyes. “Since before our rookie season.”
The words hit Hayden like a punch to the gut, taking the breath out of him as he thought of Shane, his quiet, reserved Shane, keeping this heavy of a secret for... nearly 10 years. Almost a decade of secrets and lies. He knew of Boston Lily for quite a few years already, but since before rookie season, before even Hayden knew Shane, was new information.
“Wow,” he huffed, letting his head fall back against the back of the chair, reaching up to rub at his tired eyes. “I, I don’t even know what to say to that.”
They fell into a silence that wasn’t quite awkward, but not exactly comfortable either. Just... odd. Hayden heard Rozanov shift under the silence, but he was still trying to wrap his head around it all.
“I can’t believe Shane is gay,” he said after a few more moments. “Like, I had suspicions, but after Rose...”
Hayden heard an annoyed scoff from Rozanov, and he raised his head to see his lips twisted in a way that made him look disgusted. It pulled a little laugh out of Hayden.
“I guess that’s a sore spot for you, huh?”
“I do not want to talk about Rose,” Rozanov grumbled, sniffling and wiping at his nose. Hayden’s lips quirked in amusement, in disbelief almost at Rozanov’s obvious jealousy.
There was a pause before Rozanov spoke again, “You are taking this surprisingly well.”
“Well, like I said, I had suspicions,” Hayden said slowly, sitting back up again and rubbing his thighs, grounding himself a bit. “But, like... Shane is my best friend. I don’t think any differently of him.” He tilted his head a little, unable to hold back a snide remark, “Other than he has poor taste in men.”
“Ouch,” Rozanov snorted sarcastically, giving Hayden another eye roll. “That hurts, Pike.”
“It’s true, Rozanov.”
Before Hayden could poke more fun at Rozanov, a nurse made her way into the waiting room, calling, “For Shane Hollander?”
Rozanov threw himself to his feet, all of his anxiety seeming to crash back into his body. Hayden stood after him and grabbed Shane’s bag, coming up to the nurse with Rozanov following him like a scared puppy. It made Hayden’s chest twist in a way he didn’t like. No way he was feeling, ugh, pity for Ilya Rozanov.
“Can we see him?” Hayden asked, “Is he awake?”
“Yes, he’s awake, and yes, you can see him,” the nurse said with a sweet smile. “He’s on some pretty strong pain killers, so he’s a little loopy. We’re gonna keep him overnight to monitor his concussion, keep an eye out for any bleeding in the brain, but so far—”
“He is okay?” Rozanov cut in suddenly, his hands trembling at his sides. Hayden wondered if his fear was making it hard for him to translate what the nurse was saying as quickly as he usually would.
“Yes, he is okay,” the nurse soothed, “We expect him to make a full recovery, as long as he follows our recovery plan.”
Hayden thanked the nurse gratefully and bid her goodbye before leading Rozanov to Shane’s room. Rozanov was shaking like a leaf the whole walk down the hall. Hayden paused outside of Shane’s door, giving Rozanov an encouraging smile before knocking gently. When he opened it and peeked his head in, he was hit with warm relief when he saw Shane sitting up, awake, and grinning as soon as he saw Hayden. His left arm was in a sling, and his face had grown even more purple than it was earlier, but he was awake.
“Hayden!” Shane called quietly, and Hayden could see the painkillers were in full working order by the slightly dazed look in his eyes. “They said you were here.”
“Yeah bud,” Hayden said, his smile widening, “And, I have a surprise for you!”
Hayden opened the door wider and stepped to the side inside the room to let Rozanov in, and the effect was immediate. Hayden watched in wonder as Shane’s eyes widened and his jaw went slack, a choked, desperate noise leaving his throat.
“Ilyaaa!”
Rozanov huffed something in Russian under his breath as the door closed gently behind him, and the next moment he was at Shane’s bedside, dropping to his knees beside the bed and taking Shane’s hand gently in his own. Hayden could see, as he set Shane’s bag down near the door, that there was once again tears shining in Rozanov’s eyes as he pressed sweet, relieved kisses onto Shane’s hand and forearm.
“Shane, solnyshko,” he muttered, his voice tight and emotional. “You scared me.”
“M’sorry,” Shane mumbled shyly, ducking his head in that boyish way he always did. “I didn’t mean to.”
“No,” Rozanov said quickly, “No, is okay.”
Shane was glowing under Rozanov’s attention, already forgetting Hayden was even there. He should have stepped out by now, let the two of them have a moment alone, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to look away, marveling at the fact that someone loved his best friend so much. Rozanov didn’t say it back in the waiting room, but it was evident in the way he cradled Shane’s hand, pressing it to his lips and his cheek as though he was afraid all night that he was going to lose him.
Hayden had the hesitant thought that he was going to have to get along with Rozanov after this.
“Ilya,” Shane breathed, eyes scanning across Rozanov’s—Ilya’s face as though he was the most incredible thing Shane had ever seen. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I couldn’t stay away,” Ilya said softly, reaching up to stroke his fingers against Shane’s cheek. Shane melted into the touch, eyelids fluttering softly. “Pike wouldn’t let me.”
Shane’s eyes flitted over to Hayden, who was leaning against the wall, watching with his hands in his pockets. Hayden tried to give him a bashful smile, but a look flashed across Shane’s face that made his stomach sink, knowing it was hitting him that Hayden knew, knew everything.
“It’s okay, buddy,” Hayden said gently, taking a couple steps closer to the bed. “I’m so, so happy for you.”
Shane’s eyes filled with tears, and Hayden wanted to set the world on fire for making him feel like he had to be ashamed. “Really?”
“Really. Even if I’d like to try to find some nicer guys for you,” he joked, shrugging with a cheeky grin on his face.
Shane wrinkled his nose at Hayden, drawing a chuckle from both himself and Ilya.
“Don’t be mean, Hayden,” Shane pouted, placing a protective hand on Ilya’s shoulder. “He’s wonderful, once you know him.”
“Once you know him,” Ilya repeated with a small laugh, amused by the wording. Shane frowned at him, and Hayden had to hold back a snort as Shane stuck his lower lip out dramatically.
“You know what I meant, Ilya,” he huffed.
“Yes, solnyshko, I know,” Ilya said with a smile, cupping Shane’s face tenderly in his free hand that wasn’t holding Shane’s.
Shane returned an anxious gaze to Hayden, chewing at his bottom lip and taking a shaky breath.
“You... aren’t upset?”
“No, man, no way,” Hayden insisted, hoping that his face was conveying how much he cared about Shane, that this hadn’t changed anything for him. “You’re my best friend. I just want you to be happy. If... If that’s Roz—uh, Ilya, then fine by me.”
Ilya’s name felt odd coming from his mouth, and he had to fight to not screw up his nose at how it sounded. He would have to get used to that.
Ilya drew Shane’s attention back to him with a gentle touch on his chin. Hayden felt a little sick at the look in his eyes as he darted his gaze over every inch of Shane’s face. “How are you feeling?”
Shane shrugged, wincing a little at the movement. “Pain meds are helping, but I still feel sore.” He turned his gaze to Hayden and gave a forlorn smile. “We lose?”
“Yeah, bud, we lost,” Hayden chuckled, because of course after all this, Shane would be thinking of the game. “Can’t win without our captain.”
“Because he carries whole team on his back,” Ilya said with a sly grin in Hayden’s direction.
“Ilya!” Shane gasped, weakly swatting him in the shoulder, which only made Ilya laugh. Hayden rolled his eyes, taking a step towards the door. “Don’t be mean either!”
“Alright, I’m out,” he announced, not willing to put up with a Rozanov who had his snark back.
“Pike, wait,” Ilya said suddenly, standing from where he was kneeling next to Shane. He walked up to Hayden, and hesitated for a moment, fingers fluttering a bit at his sides. Hayden looked up (yes, up) at him curiously, tilting his head.
“What—”
Ilya’s arms were around him suddenly, taking Hayden by surprise. He blinked, glancing at Ilya, then to Shane, who looked like he was going to burst into tears at the sight of Ilya hugging his best friend.
“Thank you,” Ilya said earnestly into Hayden’s shoulder. Hayden apprehensively closed his arms around Ilya, giving him an awkward pat on the back.
“Y-yeah man, no problem,” he stuttered out, unsure exactly how to respond when the man whom he swore to hate for the past decade suddenly engulfed him in a bear hug. Ilya pulled back just as abruptly as he had hugged him, taking a full step away from him.
“Okay, goodbye,” he said with a nod, turning back to return to Shane’s side, this time pulling a chair up to the bed so he could sit. Hayden stood stunned for a moment, mouth slightly agape as he thought of just how absolutely crazy tonight has been.
“Well, uh...” Hayden cleared his throat, looking at Shane who was looking back at him with a grin that pulled at Hayden’s heart strings. He relaxed again, giving Shane a gentle smile. “Really, Shane. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Hayden,” Shane said wistfully, taking Ilya’s hand in his own again. Then his voice went a little stiff as he asked, “You won’t... say anything about this. Right?”
Hayden frowned. “Of course not, buddy. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Okay,” Shane puffed in relief, leaning back against the pillows on his bed, eyes closing slowly. “Okay. Thank you.”
“I’ll call your parents, and I’ll be back in the morning to help with whatever I can,” Hayden said, “I’m sure your parents are already on their way here to come and take you home.”
Ilya looked to Hayden, a serious look in his eyes. “I will stay with him tonight. Maybe not good idea, but...” His gaze was drawn back to Shane, softening around the edges. “I—I can’t leave him now.”
“Please don’t,” Shane said pitifully, opening his eyes again to look at Ilya. “Please stay.”
“Yes, moy lyubimiy, I will stay,” Ilya whispered, drawing Shane’s hand back up to kiss his knuckles.
“Okay, lovebirds,” Hayden teased, grinning when Ilya shot him an irritated look. “Rest up, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As Hayden stepped back out into the hall, he took a minute to lean against the closed door of Shane’s room, listening to their soft voices talking distantly. He drew in a breath, going over the events of the night in his head. He thought that maybe, if Shane wasn’t so hopped up on whatever drugs they gave him, he would have freaked out a little more about it all. Tomorrow, he might wake up and panic about someone finally knowing about them. Hayden hoped Ilya would be there to comfort him.
Hayden turned to peek into the window on the door. Ilya had abandoned the chair beside the bed already, choosing instead to crawl into the bed next to Shane, cradling him tenderly against his side. He had his lips pressed to the top of Shane’s head while Shane traced mindless shapes on Ilya’s chest, eyes drooping with exhaustion. Hayden’s chest felt like it was going to explode, for numerous reasons.
He knew Ilya would be there for Shane in the morning. And he knew, from the way Ilya gently tilted Shane’s head up to kiss him, that he would do anything for him, in the end.
Hayden felt like throwing up a bit.
As he left the hospital to return to the hotel, he pulled out his phone, sending a text to Jackie before calling Shane’s parents to let them know that he was recovering.
Hayden: Shane’s okay, broken collarbone and a concussion, but he’ll make a full recovery
Hayden: I can’t wait to get home to you.