Work Text:
let’s go to the mall!
Daniel Armbruster is a guy who may look dorky and nerdy, yet so passionate about his musical hobbies, though he has never gotten a spotlight—yet—to showcase them. It had been a very long time since we were college freshmen, quietly watching him from a distance, daydreaming about making a rock band or something. He’s a good kid and student, not gonna lie, since he always got passing grades and never got into trouble. But during class, I often caught him lost in thought, scribbling random lyrics and humming—until our teachers scolded him for not paying attention.
What about me? Well… besides dyeing my hair every two weeks, binge-listening to music 24/7 with my worn-out headphones, and thrifting my clothes, then turning them into not-so-normal styles for my everyday outfits, I’m also a struggling artist who’s still figuring out what exactly I’m gonna do with my future. I knew I was going to be an artist, but I still couldn’t find a niche to focus on yet, since I’m pretty much multidisciplinary.
Being friends with Daniel wasn’t on my bingo card years ago, either. Even though we’re both in the multimedia arts department, we’re in completely different spectrums. He’s on music, and I’m on... visual arts... I guess... But for some reason, we just suddenly clicked—and now we occasionally hang out whenever one of us asks if we have free time. People around us usually get confused about our dynamics, but we don’t care. I didn’t mind our contrast, and it seems he’s also on the same page, making me think that’s why our friendship is weirdly good and unique at the same time. Dan always gets so fascinated with my eccentric look and jokingly says he wants to try it. And since I also love listening to music, I always give his composed songs from his phone a try—they’re too freaking good and never fail to give me goosebumps.
One time, I was sitting on the grass under a tree with my scattered acrylic pens when I saw Daniel walking fast around campus, head down, clutching his backpack straps like they were his only thing keeping him steady. I immediately sensed something was wrong—he was sniffing, wiping tears from his cheeks, and adjusting his thick-rimmed eyeglasses. I’ve seen Dan upset before, but not like this. I quickly gathered all my things, shoved them in my tote bag, and caught up to him.
I followed him hours later at the library during our free period. He wasn’t crying, but his puffy eyes told me he was still not okay. I didn’t force him to talk. I just sat beside him in silence, handed him my spare handkerchief, and grabbed the nearest book. While reading absentmindedly, my phone buzzed—I’d received some cash in my e-wallet, probably from one of my side hustles.
An idea suddenly popped into my mind.
“Hey,” I tapped Daniel’s arm gently, “you free today?”
He blinked at me, looking innocent and slightly startled.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I smiled, standing up and slinging my tote bag over my shoulder. “C’mon, get up there!”
“W-where are we going?”
I grinned, looking back at him. “Let’s go to the mall!”
‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋
I usually go to the mall alone; it’s one of my self-care rituals. Doesn’t matter if I just window-shop or eat the cheapest food here—as long as I can feel the AC hitting my skin and see people glance at my outfit. Somehow, that also sometimes boosts my confidence and motivation to keep living every day.
This time, I decided to take Dan with me. I’m not sure about his “mall activities,” but I wanted to give him a treat—maybe a milkshake or something. Honestly, I didn’t fully know what the hell I was doing. I just knew I had to try something to make him feel better, even if it was just for a little while.
First, I dragged him onto a carousel. Daniel is a tall and lanky man, but he couldn’t sit on the horse properly. He almost fell five times—and I almost fell ten times laughing. Then we went to a clothing store, where we window-shopped and tried questionable combos. I swear I caught Daniel watching me while I twirled in a plain orange puff dress—not a color I usually wear. I tried it just to jokingly match his orange tracksuit. We also hit an arcade, an arts-and-crafts store, and a vinyl shop before resting at a mall restaurant where I ordered food.
“Two milkshakes and a cheeseburger with fries, please,” I told the cashier, smiling. Daniel gently pulled down my sleeves, making me look at him.
“Uhm, I’m actually lactose intolerant…”
“O-oh—shit, really?” Heat slowly crawled up on my cheeks. “W-wait—I’m sorry… didn’t know... Uh… can I change the order too—”
“Black coffee and corndogs are fine,” he said with an awkward smile. I nodded and completed my order to the cashier.
Dan and I sat on high chairs facing each other by a wide window. We didn’t talk much, but it didn’t feel awkward. He quietly munched his corndogs while I sipped my milkshake, and lightly bopped my head to the alt pop-rock muzak playing from a nearby speaker.
I didn’t know how long we’d been sitting, but Daniel finished with his last sip of coffee, smiled softly, placed the empty cup on the table, and stared out the wide window. His chin was placed in his right palm, half-covered by his orange tracksuit’s sleeve, while his other hand was on the table, fidgeting with the handkerchief I gave him earlier at the library. I could tell he wasn’t fully okay, but something had lifted off his shoulders.
“I-I almost quit music.”
I stopped sipping my milkshake. He’s now looking down, still fidgeting with the handkerchief.
“W-what?”
He repeated his words, but this time, with a hint of defeat.
“I almost quit music last night, Addi. I-I didn’t know… but everything’s been off the past few days.” He exhaled, looking at me. “Three days ago, my music club’s advisor just said ta me… liking good music and making good music? Two different things. That same day, my only bandmate left—not just moving miles away, but for a better music chance. At first, I tried ta brush them all off, kept producing songs inside my small bedroom. But doubt… it kept creeping in. I even started sleeping on a couch outside my bedroom and couldn’t pick up my second-hand guitar.”
I clenched my jaw and fist, then softened my eyes on Dan. My blood was obviously boiling at the advisor’s unnecessary words, but I felt for him. I could picture myself in his shoes—not sure if this path was truly meant for me. But this wasn’t about me. It was about him.
And he doesn’t deserve this breakdown.
Daniel quickly looked away from my eyes; tears were starting to form in them. “I’ve been watching everyone in class… fuck… maybe ya all belong to this industry… and I don’t—”
“H-hey, Dan…” I gently held his forearm. “Don’t ever doubt yourself, okay? I see your potential. Sure, we’re still figuring out the path, but it doesn’t mean you won’t make your music dreams real soon.”
He slowly looked back at me, both eyes now red, and tears now slipping to his cheeks.
“I believe we’ll make it through this, okay? I believe in you, Daniel.” I smiled bittersweetly, which made him quietly sob and wipe all his tears with the handkerchief.
After that, neither of us spoke. I let him regain his composure. Minutes later, Dan’s puffy red eyes under his eyeglasses told me he was ready. I nodded, helped him sling on his backpack, and left the restaurant.
‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋
We didn’t talk about it out loud, but we mentally decided to walk around the mall a bit before heading home.
The sun was already down when we went outside the mall—the stars were blinking, and the full moon was shining between them. We walked quietly, side by side.
I noticed Daniel was getting closer to me, and our arms were brushing against each other. I didn’t care about it, though, and just watched all kinds of vehicles passing through the middle of the streets.
After a while, Dan looked down on me, like he was about to say something.
I stopped walking.
“You good, Daniel?”
“Y-yeah… I just… I don’t know what to say… but t-thanks…”
I kept quiet, letting him gather courage.
“You didn’t need to do anything earlier. But somehow… you made my burden lighter,” he said, pushing his eyeglasses up. “Thanks, Addi… I appreciate it a lot.”
I felt a warm flutter in my stomach. Maybe it was… a relief?
I smiled at him softly and looked at his eyes—now a little bit brighter than before. “No prob, Dan. That’s what friends will do for each other, right?”
“Yeah, friends…”
After a while, the fork in the road appeared.
“Well… this is me,” I said, hooking my thumb over my shoulder. I could feel the subtle hum on my nerves under my skin, the same way I get when I’m about to leap into something unknown—except this time, it wasn’t a performance or a project. It was just… him.
“Yeah, same here… Though… ya sure ya don’t want me ta take ya home?” Daniel asked, putting both of his hands on his orange tracksuit’s pockets.
I paused for a bit. I suddenly noticed the night air breezing past us, and the streetlight’s warm glow fell faintly on my skin.
I nodded.
“See you tomorrow?” I asked, trying to make it sound casual, though my heart was telling me other things… I couldn’t point out yet…
“Y-yeah. See ya,” he replied before his eyes shifted away from mine.
I started walking, and so he was. But after a few steps away, something made me stop. My brain suddenly clicked—I looked back.
Daniel was a few meters away. Still walking. But, there was something… different. His hand was in his tracksuit’s left pocket, fidgeting. My handkerchief. The one I’d given him earlier at the library. I think he wasn’t even aware of it—just holding it like a piece of… comfort…
Buzz!
I immediately pulled out my phone from my pocket when it suddenly buzzed.
Daniel:
hey… we should go to the mall again sometime.
I didn’t notice Daniel was typing that message, though I couldn’t help but grin. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard, thinking of a reply.
Me:
only if u promise not to almost fall off the carousel again ;)
I pressed send with a small smirk after I typed that.
Daniel suddenly stopped walking, read my message, and—of course—looked up. His eyes underneath his eyeglasses met mine, wide and almost sheepish.
For a moment, he stood there, like his brain was buffering and went blue-screen.
Then, completely out of nowhere, he struck a ridiculous pose—putting one hand on his waist while the other dramatically flung into the air.
“DEAL!” He shouted, making me burst out laughing while clutching my stomach and letting the sound of my laughter echo slowly off the quiet street.
Without thinking, I mimicked him. I struck my own pose with one arm in the air, flipping my hair, and giving him a mischievous wink. For a few more glorious seconds, we laughed together under the streetlights like two absurd people who didn’t care about the world around them.
I waved at him again while my smile stretched across my face. Dan waved back, still grinning like a dork, before turning and jogging the rest of the way down the street.
As he jogged away, I noticed the corner of my handkerchief still peeking out of his pocket. And for some reason, there was a warm, fluttery feeling, as the kind of butterflies that sneak into your stomach when something feels right. I thought:
Yeah… I’d like that. I really would…