Chapter Text
Enjin never intended to become a single father, much less a single father to three growing, somewhat traumatized teenagers. But nothing could change the fact he loved them like they were his own blood, emotional constipation and all.
Which is exactly what made it all the more awkward when he walks in on his oldest son, Zanka, pinning his “rival” Jabber down on the bed, with his tongue down crazy dreads throat.
On a random Tuesday afternoon.
In his own home, mind you.
Now, a responsible, emotionally intelligent adult would close the door and maybe give the two space to sort themselves out before questioning them. Or maybe even play the cool card and laugh it off. Lord knows Enjin was doing far worse things with his romantic partners at Zanka’s age.
Enjin was not an emotionally intelligent adult.
“What the fuck?!”
As though jolted by a livewire, Zanka’s head surged up and whipped around to see his adoptive father figure gaping at the scene before him, golden eyes wide and his tattooed hand still resting on the door handle.
“E-Enjin! This isn’t- This isn’t what it looks like!” Zanka shrieked, waving his arms around wildly, rolling off of Jabber and falling onto the floor with an undignified yelp.
Jabber, still a bit dazed from recent events, sat up and gave Enjin a cordial wave.
(Because, y’know, that was a normal thing to do when your boyfriend/situationship/rival’s adoptive father walked in on you playing tonsil hockey with his son).
“Heyo, Mr. Bad Attitude’s dad!” Jabber said, giving one of his somewhat unsettlingly large grins, leaning back on his left palm, “Long time no see!”
Enjin couldn’t help but notice that his neck was littered with bright red blemishes, disappearing under his purple t-shirt.
Looking down at Zanka, who was beginning to turn a shade of red comparable to Riyo’s hair, he saw that his neat white button up was undone near the top, exposing his pale collarbone to the air of his room.
Enjin’s first thought was, oh so it’s like that.
His second was something along the lines of how he was going to hide Jabber’s body from the neighbors.
“Jabber, don’t fucking wave!” Zanka shrieked, standing up and smacking the other boy's arm.
“Well what else do you want me to do?”
“Literally anything but that!”
“Oi! Both of you!” Enjin yelled, causing the two teens to shut up.
Enjin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and counting to ten to organize his thoughts. He just needed to stay cool and collected. He could do that, he’d worked in customer service for most of his life!
“Jabber,” Enjin said, eerily calm. The dread-headed teen didn’t feel scared often, but even he couldn’t resist the tremor in his bones, “I assume you have a way home?”
“Yeah-”
“Good. Get out” Enjin said, jabbing his thumb to the stairway behind him. Jabber looked shocked (for god knows why) but nodded, shuffling out dutifully, only slowing down to give Zanka a silent “call me” signal once he was out of Enjin’s field of vision.
The sound of Jabber’s footsteps filled the hallway, eventually teetering off into silence as Enjin heard the door open and close hastily.
That just left Zanka and Enjin standing in uncomfortable silence in the teen’s room, the fan blowing cold air down on them both and combating the summer heat outside.
“...” Zanka fidgeted with his sleeves, eyes darting back and forth from his hands to Enjin, who hadn’t moved an inch.
Realizing he couldn’t just stay silent forever, Enjin cleared his throat and tried to summon all of his parenting knowledge.
“So… how did he get in here? You said you were going to be studying?” Enjin started. He tried to keep his earlier surprise out of his voice, but Zanka still looked embarrassed as he stammered an explanation.
“He, uh- came in through the window” Zanka said, rubbing the back of his neck.
Yeah, that checks out Enjin thought. He motioned for Zanka to move, and plopped down on the edge of the bed. The sheets were uncharacteristically messy, but that was a no-brainer given the situation.
Zanka followed suit, crossing his legs with the air of an upper class businessman. It seemed some habits from your upbringing never went away, no matter how long ago you’d left it all behind.
More uncomfortable silence settled over their shoulders, the sounds of the fan being the only noise heard from the two.
What the hell do I say now?
“Y’know, I didn’t think you were gonna be the one I had to worry about sneaking boys in” Enjin said, going for a teasing tone to lighten the tension.
The effect was immediate. Zanka’s cheeks flushed even harder (which Enjin didn’t think was even possible at this point, the boy was practically a tomato) and his blue eyes darted to the floor.
“We were just going to go over some stuff for our project together,” Zanka mumbled, “But I guess it… escalated”
Enjin couldn’t resist the snort that came out of his lips.
“Yeah, because powerpoints and AP Biology are a real turn on for teenage boys,” Enjin said, grinning like the little man child he was.
“Well, that's what we were doing!” Zanka protested.
Enjin raised an eyebrow, full of what Seimu would call his “white boy sass”.
“Zanka. My first born, the fruit of my loins… when the guy you like comes over to just study-” He placed heavy emphasis on those last two words, giving exaggerated air quotes-”it always ends in someone getting laid”
“Enjin!”
“What? Could you honestly tell me that you would have stopped at just making out if ‘lil ole me hadn’t strolled in on you two?” Enjin pressed.
Predictably, Zanka didn’t give a response.
Enjin sighed, running a hand through his floppy blonde locks.
“Look, I’m not mad. Believe it or not, I was once a 17-year old too,” Enjin started, “-And let’s just say I’ve been caught in rather compromising positions a few times before”
“Is it normal for parents to discuss these things with their children?” Zanka wondered aloud.
Enjin shrugged. “Probably not, but normal’s for chumps”
“Yeah. I guess we’ve never been the picture of an average family, have we?” Zanka said, giving a small grin.
That was a good sign, it meant whatever parenting wisdom Enjin was concocting on the spot was working.
“Look… I’m sorry if I may have overexaggerated earlier. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to have to talk about this with you already. Riyo? Definitely. Girl’s touchy as hell, but you? Not in my bingo card”
“What about Rudo?” Zanka asked.
“What about him? Brat can’t even smile right, he’ll be thirty before I catch him holding hands with a woman- But that’s not the point!” Enjin said, realizing he was getting off topic, “The point is that as long as its consensual, safe, and preferably not when other people are in the house, getting physical really isn’t that big of a deal”
Zanka stayed quiet, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Really? That’s it? No long speech on abstinence? On how… how guys shouldn’t be doin’ that sorta thing with other guys?”
Oh, Enjin thought, That's what this is about
“Zanka,” Enjin began, placing a warm hand on the teen's shoulder, “I could give a rat's ass who you date, man or woman. I just want to make sure you’re being safe. That’s all that matters to me”
And well, if there was ever a time for the waterworks to start flowing, now was certainly the time. Zanka tried to brush off the tears at first, but all it took was Enjin opening his arms for the dam to break and Zanka to crush him in a hug. It was filled with everything he couldn’t say, all of the love and care he belt bursting from his heart.
Enjin combed his fingers soothingly through Zanka’s hair, something that worked for all three of his kids.
The two stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presence and taking comfort in getting everything out in the open.
Sure, it was awkward as hell, but Enjin knew these conversations were important to have. He didn’t want his kids to learn everything through trial, error and a lot of heartbreak like he had. They deserved better than that, better than he grew up having.
And really, wasn’t that what all parents should want for their children?
Of course, once they were done with all the mushy, feel-y stuff they had to set some ground rules. Doors stayed open, and preferably they didn’t do it when any innocent ears [read: Rudo and Remlin] were around to hear it.
For Zanka’s birthday that year, Enjin gifted him a box of condoms and a second bedsheet, something that made Zanka turn alarmingly red and proceed to die inside. Riyo almost died too, though from a lack of oxygen because of how hard she was laughing.
It was a bit less funny when Seimu smacked him over the head for “being a big man child” or whatever. Enjin just thinks she wanted an excuse to hit him.
And Enjin still felt his paternal instincts go off when this- Jabber- fellow was mentioned, but for the sake of his son he was willing to hold off on beating his ass to a pulp.
For now.