Chapter Text
@heartthief_fan:
“…and that’s why Joker has a lot more depth than a lot of you supposed SMT:P ‘fans’ seem to give him credit for. Really, he’s this series’ only saving grace. The plot is held together by duct tape and the will of god. If he weren’t introduced in season 5, the ratings wouldn’t be nearly as high as they are right now. Maybe try analyzing the characters rather than just gawking at the screen. Rant over.”
@pantherswife:
jfc did you just write an entire essay worshipping joker? i like him as much as any other SMT:P fan but everyone knows he’s just there for ppl to self insert and pretend they’re cool like him lolz
@fuwafuwa47:
Heartthief_fan make up ur mind lmfao, do u like the show or not we only see u sh*tting on everything except joker. get a life he’s not gonna f**k u
Akechi slammed his laptop shut, gritting his teeth. Obviously none of these idiots on the forums would understand the intricacies of Joker’s characterization. There’s a reason why he’s at front and center of all the new promotional material for the show. He’s not just someone for a random viewer to use as a self-insert. He’s so much more than that. He means so much more than that to Akechi.
Don’t get him wrong, it’s not like he aspires to be like Joker. Vigilantism and the likes is only fun in anime. In real life, Joker’s team, the Phantom Thieves, would get arrested and put behind bars immediately. Even so, Akechi envied him. He envied what a free spirit Joker was, how easily he handled situations even under extreme stress, how he shrugged off danger and maneuvered through it gracefully. Like he wasn’t afraid to die. Akechi felt venom filling up his mouth every time he thought about it too hard. He longed for what Joker has. Maybe if he were just a little braver, just a little more independent, then she wouldn’t have—
No. Now isn’t the time to think about that.
He took a deep breath in an attempt to rid himself from the earlier annoyance, then opened the laptop back up. He was greeted by the same forum he was arguing on, the Phantom Aficionado Website, or the Phan-site, for short. Some obsessed fan ran the forum dedicating it specifically to season 5 of Shin Megami Tensei: Persona, a shounen anime quickly rising in popularity. The admin, @m_yuuki, whom everyone called Miyuki (they never confirmed or denied if that’s their name), seemed to spend every second of their day on the forums, activity level challenged only by Akechi himself. It’s not like Akechi had anything else to do. His adoptive parents kicked him out the moment he turned 18, and he wandered the world aimlessly for a while, feeling like a pit formed under each step he took. He was lucky enough to find a cheap, one-room apartment with a small kitchen to stay in, and spent his days locking himself up at home. The only thing close to rays of sunlight he’s experienced these past few months was the bright, eye-straining light from his laptop monitor. Really, to anyone else, it’d feel depressing to be 20 years old and cut off from the world when he should be out enjoying his youth or something, but he disagreed. The outside world is far more depressing than anything he can see on the internet.
He got ready to type away again, responding to all the so-called “trolls“ on his forum posts, convinced that giving them a piece of his mind would somehow make them change their ways, when a sudden pop-up appeared on his screen. ”www.joker.virtualassistant.net.” Strange. This website ran on donations. There usually weren’t any advertisements. The pop-up was colored black and red, a red top-hat with a red, flaming mask attached to it plastered in the middle. A bold text above read “JOKER VIRTUAL ASSISTANT FOR FREE!” with the subtitle “Shin Megami Tensei: Persona character, now on your desktop!” A huge, red button labeled “DOWNLOAD NOW!” flashed at the bottom of the pop-up over and over, making Akechi’s tired eyes sting.
“Does this thing think I’m stupid?” Akechi mumbled to no one in particular, then moved his mouse cursor over the small ‘x’ button on the top right of the pop-up. He paused. Does he really have anything to lose by downloading this? It’s shady all around and might just brick his computer. Worst case scenario, he’ll have to beg his parents for money to buy a new one. Best case scenario… is probably nonexistent. He should just exit out of this page and move on with his day. That’d be the wise thing to do.
He clicked the download button.
The joker_virtualassistant.exe file downloaded within seconds. He double clicked it and waited for it to run, the setup wizard was just a single window that read “Do you really want to install him?” Akechi clicked “install” and waited with with bated breath. He tapped his foot against the floor for what felt like hours. His antivirus didn’t give any warnings. He didn’t see the terminal flash open and close immediately. Was this seriously real? He walked into this on a self-destructive impulse, fully expecting it to be a scam that steals all of his data, but he felt no signs of any danger so far.
“Your download is ready!”
Immediately, a boy with messy, black hair popped his head out from the corner of Akechi’s screen. He gave Akechi a wave, a dialogue box popping up on the bottom of the screen that read “Hey!” Akechi stared at the screen, puzzled as the boy made his way out of the corner and leaned against his dialogue box, not acknowledging the bizarreness of the situation at all.
“Is this… Joker?” Akechi mumbled to himself.
“You don’t have to talk like I’m not here, you know.” The boy gave him a cheeky grin. “I can hear you just fine.”
Akechi almost sprung out of his chair in shock. He didn’t give this program access to his microphone. It didn’t ask for any permissions, actually. What is this?
“What are you looking so surprised for? You installed me.” The boy raised an eyebrow at Akechi.
This is Joker? He didn’t recall him ever looking so… plain. The boy in front of him was dressed in what looked like a regular school uniform. Black blazer with some kind of logo embroidered into the chest and a white turtleneck sticking out from underneath, red pants with a plaid pattern, and black dress boots. As if that wasn’t enough, he was wearing large framed glasses as well. Nothing like the memorable design of the Joker he knows.
“Don’t recognize me?” The boy asked. “Here. I’ll jog your memory.”
He snapped his fingers, and Akechi jumped as a picture popped up on his screen. It was a screencap from an SMT:P episode where Joker removed his mask, finally revealing his face to the audience. It was a big deal at the time. The boy zoomed into the photo, then took off his glasses and copied the expression on Joker’s face. Akechi’s mouth hung open uselessly. Those gray irises, that well-sculpted face, that cheeky expression, the sparks seemingly shooting through his eyes… This really was Joker. Right here. On his screen.
“So… You’re actually him. You’re actually Joker,” Akechi choked out.
“Finally got it?” The boy, Joker, laughed with a snort. “You can just call me Akira. Nice to meet you, Goro.”
“Huh. You read my PC’s username. I don’t recall allowing this program to do that. You decided you’re on first-name basis with me on your own, too, despite us having just met,” Akechi commented, crossing his arms.
“Well, you already know pretty much everything about me.” Joker— No, Akira shrugged. “Let’s see… 2876 screenshots in a folder labeled ”Joker“. Top #2 activity on the Phantom Aficionado Website. 63 essay blog posts. And…” Akira zoomed himself closer to the screen, then tapped it on his end. “You’re wearing a t-shirt with the PT logo.”
Akechi’s jaw dropped. He could see him?! He could see his unwashed, messy hair, his yellowing teeth, his bloodshot eyes, his scar-riddled arm, and instead of pointing any of those out, he decided to bring up his shirt instead?
“You… Don’t look at me,” Akechi scoffed at the screen. “I’m not… Just don’t look.”
“How am I supposed to communicate with you then?” Akira huffed. “I can’t just ignore you.”
Can’t ignore. That sentence grew an uncomfortable tightness in Akechi’s chest.
“You’re getting too familiar.” Akechi averted his gaze from the screen. “It doesn’t matter if I know you. You just met me. Just because you read through my posts doesn’t mean you know me.”
“Hm…” Akira rested his chin against his hand, seemingly deep in thought before a mischievous glint sparked in his eyes. “Should I call you Akechi-san then? Akechi-sama? Or maybe do something like this…”
He placed his right foot behind his left and pinched an imaginary hemline of a dress, bending his knees and bowing his head. A curtsy.
“Hello, Master. I’m happy to serve you today ❤︎” He murmured in a faux innocent tone.
Akechi squeezed his eyes shut immediately and waved a hand in front of the monitor screen, as though trying to shoo Akira away.
“Stop that, stop, never do that again,” He grumbled, only earning a snicker from the other boy. “Just… Just Goro is fine, I guess.”
“Alright then, Goro.” Akira nodded. “Say, why’d you install me anyway?”
“I…” Akechi crossed his arms.
Akira took a seat on the side corner of his dialogue box and crossed his legs. He waited for Akechi to continue his sentence. Nothing followed.
“Let me guess then,” Akira hummed. “You were lonely and wanted a hero to save you from the loneliness?”
“You sure seem to think highly of yourself.” Akechi raised an eyebrow. “And what, pray tell, gave you this idea?”
“Weeeeeeell,” The corner of Akira’s lips spread into a smirk. “You did risk your computer by installing this program. You shouldn’t run random .exe files you find on the web, you know?”
“Shut up,” Akechi scoffed. “Be grateful that you’re even here in the first place.”
“Why thank you, Master! Teehee ❤︎” Akira giggled, barely holding back a shit-eating grin.
Akechi reached out to shut his laptop off, the only motion that seemed to throw Akira off his rhythm.
“Wait, wait, hold on!” He called out. Akechi stopped, deciding to listen. “Hey. I wanna challenge you.”
“Oh?” Akechi questioned. “Elaborate.”
Akira hopped off the dialogue box and zoomed in closer again. He pressed his hand against his end of the screen.
“I’ll save you. At some point during the time we spend together from now on, I’ll steal your heart. I want to bet on that, Goro.”
Akechi gave himself a few seconds to think the idea over, then finally gave a response.
“I’d like to see you try.”