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Oyuki has since meeting Atsu noticed she has a lot of friends and acquaintances; people who have a lot of gratitude towards her for a myriad of reasons. Or people who want to spend time with the woman who took down some of the worst people in all of Ezo. People who simply enjoy her company, because when she finally lowers the walls she’s built she is a charming, and caring woman.
And none of them bother Oyuki, or cause her much concern—except for one.
It’s unexpected when she realises it during an entirely casual conversation between her and Atsu, when Atsu mentions a woman she met soon after she found her brother. A woman she describes as a kindred-spirit. A woman that is apparently going to visit her very soon.
Oyuki feels a discomfort settle inside her and it bothers her so much that she comes back to Atsu’s homestead much earlier than she originally intended because of a nagging feeling that won’t leave her alone.
This woman feels like a threat to something that hasn’t even truly revealed itself yet. A threat to something Oyuki isn’t ready to admit.
And unfortunately she finds her with Atsu. Ina, Atsu’s kindred-spirit.
Oyuki barely has a moment alone with Atsu when Ina is around. She silently watches from afar as Atsu tilts her head back as she laughs at something Ina says. A genuine happy moment shared by friends.
It should be fine. It is fine but still jealousy coils inside Oyuki’s chest. She puts away her shamisen and walks to the two. Hand on Atsu’s shoulder like a reminder that she’s here, as she sits down next to her. Much closer than they usually do.
“You two seem to be having fun,” she says, noncommittal, with gentle curiosity that hides all of the undesirable, uglier feelings she’s having.
“We were just reminiscing,” Atsu explains and smiles at Oyuki.
“Atsu here,” Ina says and rubs Atsu’s thigh and Oyuki’s eyes fall on the hand for just a moment too long. “Promised to teach me to hunt with the bow, but she’s trying to get out of it.”
“I didn’t say that. And I always keep my promises,” Atsu says with light laughter.
“Then what are we still doing here?” Ina asks. “I’m sure Oyuki won’t mind staying with Kiku while we’re gone? Shouldn’t be more than a day or two.”
Oyuki has to swallow the bile raising up. “Of course,” she says casually as she hides her bitterness behind a new kind of a mask. A mask of indifference.
“You wouldn’t mind?” Atsu turns to look at her, happy and excited. How could Oyuki say no to her when she looks at her like that?
“It would be my pleasure,” she says and smiles at Atsu.
It feels uncomfortable as she watches them pack their horses and take off together. Though there is an upside to all of it. At least when it’s just her and Kiku it’s easier to think about other things.
Except at night when it’s quiet when the girl has gone to sleep and Oyuki stands outside alone, looking at the mountain wrapped in a blanket of bright stars, and her mind wanders back to Atsu. She imagines her sitting by a campfire, eyes lit up with mischief and sometimes with such raw sincerity it’s disarming. She wonders whether Ina sees it too, or if she also forgets to breath when Atsu looks at her like that. If her heart too feels so ridiculously full.
Atsu and Ina return two days later and Kiku runs to Atsu’s arms to greet her. Oyuki wishes she too could embrace her so openly but instead she greets her with a courteous nod and and a bright smile, like she always does. “I hope Kiku wasn’t too much trouble,” Atsu says and cocks an eyebrow looking down at the girl.
“I’m never trouble,” Kiku insists which makes all of them laugh.
“How was your hunt?” Oyuki asks and Ina swings her arm over Atsu’s shoulder.
Atsu grins and says, “It went great. She’s not too bad of a student.”
“You’re just worried I’ll surpass you,” Ina says and Oyuki’s skin burns watching them tease each other and an unwelcome thought presents itself; they fit together too well. Like two pieces of a puzzle.
What Oyuki wants to ask is if Ina should soon head back home, because she’s certainly overstayed her welcome but manages to say instead, “We were just about to eat, if you two will join us?” Giggling, and still hanging on to each other they do.
The giggling increases with each cup of sake they enjoy after the meal. Oyuki decides to pass on the sake, because even without it, it’s already work enough to control the jealous, angry shinobi who would know exactly how to render the competition useless. A parasite or two would easily do.
Though Ina succeeds at that on her own. “So much for her great tolerance for sake,” Atsu snickers as she helps Ina up and starts guiding her inside to sleep. “I’ll be right back.”
Oyuki waits a long while but when Atsu doesn’t return she heads inside to see what happened. She stares at the pair trying to maintain a semblance of reason within herself. Atsu is fully asleep under Ina and even if she can imagine how it happened it doesn’t help her feel less tempted to get a bucket of cold water and pouring it on them to wake them up.
Oyuki considers that perhaps it would be best for her own sanity to just leave. Spend a few months forgetting all about Atsu. “Oyuki…” Atsu grumbles in her sleep and pushes Ina off of her. “You’re too hot.”
“It is not me,” Oyuki says quietly.
“Then where are you?” Atsu says and moves her hand around the mattress, with a gentle frown on her brow Oyuki can just make out in the light of the moon.
“I’m here,” Oyuki says as she sits down, and then lays down on her side.
“Oh,” Atsu just says and scoots closer, pressing her forehead against Oyuki’s chest, and arm over her midriff and within seconds she’s fast asleep again. Oyuki runs her fingers through Atsu’s hair and decides that maybe she could still stay a while.
Next morning the gentle relief that filled her during the night is quickly replaced with the all familiar and entirely unbecoming annoyance.
“What is going on with your hair?” Ina says to Atsu, with a delighted laughter and Oyuki lifts her gaze a little too sudden. Her eyes a little too expressive, before she schools her features back to indifference.
“I always tell her she should take better care of it,” Oyuki states, and Atsu rolls her eyes at her with an amused look on her face.
“Come,” Ina then says, beckoning Atsu closer and despite grumbling she does sit in front of the woman. “You have such lovely hair.”
“Please, be gentle,” Atsu says with a gravely voice. “My head still hurts from all the sake.”
“Poor Atsu,” Ina says teasingly.
“Yes, poor Atsu,” Oyuki says with barely hidden snark that surprises Kiku who looks at her concerned. But it makes Ina laugh joyously. A little too joyous.
“Maybe Oyuki would be more delicate with you,” Ina suggest to Atsu, her mouth a little too close to Atsu’s ear.
“You’re hilarious,” Atsu says to her and the tips of her ears turn bright red. Oyuki has to lower her shamisen not to snap its neck.
Luckily at the end of the day Ina tells them she will be heading back home soon and wants to show them some of her newest fireworks as a thank you and a parting gift.
“I made this one for you,” Ina says to Atsu as she’s setting up another one of her fireworks.
“Really?” Atsu says taken back. And Oyuki can’t ignore the thought of how many songs had Oyuki dedicated to her, without ever expressing it with words. Perhaps she shouldn’t have trusted that Atsu knew what is in her heart, but she should’ve told her too.
Made her understand before it’s too late.
Everyone else looks heavenward but Oyuki looks at Atsu as Ina lights up the first fireworks. Oyuki studies the expression on her face, the beaming smile, the eyes that sparkle in the red and white glow of the fireworks. The delighted chuckle she lets out as the sparks fly down around them.
Why can’t you see me?
When you’re the only one I see.
Atsu turns to look at her then and the smile on her face fades as she’s sees Oyuki without the mask on. All of her emotions and weakness’ completely visible on her face.
Vulnerable, jealous, captivated—the enamored shinobi.
Atsu steps closer even as the fireworks are still going and her eyes roam over Oyuki's face and it if is she’s trying to understand. Oyuki tries to fit the mask on again, the gentle smile of a person that will stand by Atsu even if her heart aches.
“Don’t,” Atsu says and lifts her hand, tentative and uncertain. The warmth of it against her cheek spreads throughout Oyuki’s body and a traitorous tear falls, before Atsu’s lips are on hers.
Oyuki forgets they’re not alone because she’s lost in Atsu until she hears Kiku’s excited giggle. “I told you,” Ina’s voice says mischievously and then adds, “Come, Kiku. Let’s give them some privacy.”
Atsu laughs and Oyuki’s face burns with embarrassment. “They really don’t need to…”
“Better they do,” Atsu says and her eyes sparkle with something new. Something far too mesmerizing.
“Atsu…”
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Atsu says, soft and absolutely certain before she kisses Oyuki again. And all Oyuki can do is to thank the heavens she stayed.
And Ina too.
One day.
Maybe.