Chapter Text
An uma stood in front of Tracen Academy, two police officers flanking her. She took a deep breath and stepped forward, looking at the ground to avoid the silent gazes of the myriad students boring into the body of someone who clearly does not belong. Her steps slowed, just a little, until she fell behind the police flanking her. She stopped, crouching down. She couldn't do this, it was unfair, maybe they would reconsider if she asked. It wouldn't be too unreasonable, given the absurdity of her request. Maybe-
"Attractor," one of the officers called her. She jumped back to her feet and caught back up to them, her lips pushed tightly together. They passed through the front door, and she said nothing.
"Oh? This is the uma who requested to join us?" The uma looked up and saw Emperor Symboli Rudolf's eyes pushing against her. "Tell me, what is your name?" An officer spoke up, but President Rudolf held her hand up. The uma put the words to her tongue, but froze. She gestured for a pen and President Rudolf procured a plain one from her skirt, but no paper. When the uma gestured again, she shook her head.
The uma patted the pockets of her jeans, but only felt the fabric. Reluctantly, she clicked the pen and put it to her palm, killing an expression as the sharp point dug into her skin. She revealed it to President Rudolf, who raised her eyebrows just enough to make the uma smile.
"That wasn't what your form said," she replied, as if that didn't happen.
"She just does this," one officer shrugged. "She changes her name so much that the files just refer to her as 'Oma musume'."
"A name you should use for her, too," the other officer said.
"That I don't is why I didn't draw straws to come here and meet the Emperor herself," he grinned.
"Is that so?" President Rudolf narrowed her eyes, her gaze digging into the uma. "I implore you to take this seriously. Nepotism alone has not resulted in the success of an uma in all of Tracen's history. What you write when you submit the form will be your name here, and to the wider world as a result. Changing it would suggest that you see all of this as a joke. Consider it carefully." She paused, then smiled. "Now come, the director is waiting."
"Well met!" Director Akikawa shouted as they entered the room. Was she always this loud? "I am Akikawa, the director of this academy! You must be Heaven's Verdict!" The uma cringed, her steps slowing. That name didn't last more than a few hours, how was it the one that was submitted? Reluctantly, she nodded and sat down in the seat opposite the director, both officers flanking her. President Rudolf in turn stood to Akikawa's right, though not behind her. "I trust you are aware of your situation?" The uma nodded. "Excellent! To begin...
"Your dorm situation has been taken care of, and your escort will guide you there after a tour of the academy. If you seek to head out into Tokyo itself, there will be forms in your desk. If you need more, ask myself or Rudolf. You also require a trainer, of course. Your acceptance comes at the approval of whomever you choose, but most of them are eager to meet the umamusume Trainer Inoue discovered after he vanished! Should you have a preference, I can arrange you to meet them first! Should you not, they will be chosen at random!" The uma tilted her head, her eyes flicking between the two people in front of her.
"That's not allowed." President Rudolf shook her head. "As you should be aware, your acceptance here is conditional. That is one such condition."
The uma paused. Who could she even put down? Well...there was one obvious choice. The uma slowly wrote down the characters to her name. She caught President Rudolf grinning out of the corner of her vision before she finished the second katakana. 'Belno Light'.
"An excellent choice!" Director Akikawa shouted. "Do any other trainers strike your fancy, or just her?"
Trainer Nase Fumino. There was a zero percent chance of it ever happening, but if she had to choose anyone else, it would be her. So long as Super Creek doesn't try to rope her into anything like she did when she dragged Tamamo Cross to the baby goods section, she's the other best option. But she can't say that, can she? Belno stands out enough for breaking expectations, but is otherwise unproven. Oguri Cap's fondness for her is the only thing that would lead to an umamusume preferring her. Trainer Nase is just another human trainer in a long list of many, but she's also one on the wishlist of more umamusume than the population of Kazamaura. The kind who gets articles based on her results, not about the fact that she exists at all. Maybe she could write her down if it were still 1988, but not after twelve years. They barely interacted, too; why would anyone believe that she knows enough about her to write her name down? It might be a little too unusual if she knew anything more than what she would realistically be expected to be told. But saying she had no preference would also be bad; they would try to partner her with one of the trainers Inoue was closer to. It would be better to talk to them on her own terms.
'A woman', she wrote, turning the paper around.
"Oho?" Director Akikawa exclaimed. President Rudolf shifted her weight. "Unexpected! A few of them should still be able to take trainees! We shall have you meet Trainer Belno Light tomorrow; should she not take you, the others will be introduced! Now!" Far too many forms were turned over to the uma. "All that is required is that you sign each of these."
The uma put the pen to the signature line. What would she write? Vermilion Beak? Crisis Crunch? Termination Flare? Innocence Attractor was a dumb name, so she wasn't going to use that. Anaklasis Flash was too unpronounceable. Soul Breaker was good, but it would happen to her if anyone looked up what it meant. Maybe Vivid Fire? But someone already had that name, didn't they? It would be awkward if she chose a name and a fellow student had it. Rationale Exitium? No, that isn't English. She would have to be weird to choose that. Infinity Impact? She gripped the pen tighter.
Starry N the pen flew from her hand, traveling backwards and landing well behind everyone else. She sat up further and began to lift herself out of the seat, but was pushed back down by the officers. Director Akikawa grabbed another pen, but President Rudolf glowered as she held her own out as far as she could, the light reflecting off its gilding. The uma gently put her fingers around it, pulling it away without any resistance. ova, she finished, looking over the name. It was weird, alien, like she stole a ring and found out it was the wrong size. The same as the other 20 names. Signing the other papers didn't make it any better - the name still belonged to someone who wasn't her. Director Akikawa took them from her and smiled.
"Splendid! Welcome to Tracen Academy, Starry Nova!" She shouted even louder, and the uma flinched. "As you enrolled under such unusual circumstances, I ask that you wait while I bring someone here to show you around the academy!"
"That won't be necessary," one officer said.
"Because I will escort her," President Rudolf interjected, a sharp glare affixed to the officers, as if daring either of them to continue. "There are no problems with that, I hope." She smiled, and the uma relaxed in her seat. "Excellent. I'm glad we were able to so easily come to an agreement."
"Indeed! 'Tis a wonderful idea!" Director Akikawa exclaimed. President Rudolf walked over to the uma and pulled her seat out. Nobody stopped her from standing up, nor from walking away. "The three of us shall discuss the expectations Starry Nova's admission brings, and how to proceed in regards to Trainer Inoue!"
The uma breathed out as she left Director Akikawa's office. She's free. Or as free as someone in her situation can be.
"Running in the halls is encouraged," President Rudolf said, and took off. The uma gave chase, running down the hall, into the stairwell, jumping down three steps at a time, and zooming right past her as she waited at the bottom of the stairs. "But it would be better if you know where you're going. How much did Inoue tell you about Tracen?"
"He," the word felt like worms were crawling up her throat. President Rudolf raised her eyebrows. "Told this one you have a pool." Her voice creaked.
"...we do," President Rudolf nodded, looking her over. Her ears twitched and she started walking down the hall, her tail raised a little. "However, we will have to stop there last. As a student of Tracen, your studies are more important. Come!" She took off into a dash, and the uma followed her. Down the hall, to the right, down the entire length of the classrooms, another right, barely catching a glimpse of President Rudolf's hair as she descended the stairs far too quietly for someone moving so fast. The uma used her momentum to hop on the railing and slide down, somehow not flying straight into the wall as she kept herself on the short middle rail before sliding down again. President Rudolf descended another flight, and she followed, holding the railing to slow herself do-
Her shoulder clipped the half wall, and she reflexively shot her arm up from the railing. Her eyes flew open as she desperately reached down, trying to take hold of something, but her lowered posture only sped up her already-too-fast descent. She was going to hit the wall at full force. She closed her eyes. ...please kill her. Or leave her in a coma. She almost had her freedom, she couldn't live with it being ripped from her again. Anything but that would be far too cruel. Even just a concussion would be too much.
Someone snatched her before she became airborne, holding her tight to their body and spinning around as her momentum slowly died down, placing her on the ground once it finally reached something safe. Slowly, she opened her eyes. President Rudolf brushed off her uniform.
"Are you okay?" President Rudolf asked, as if she had only tripped. Slowly, the uma nodded. "Good, let's keep moving. You wanted to check out the pool, didn't you?" President Rudolf walked towards the back door, her footsteps still silent, and the uma followed. She opened the door, gesturing her out, and-
footsteps chatter birds doors calling music walking trotting talking running commentary clatter chewing wind steps chatter whisper why was everything so loud tracen was always quiet for such a large school why can she hear everything she bent down she clutched her head where her ears should be but felt nothing the world didnt get any quieter why was it so loud why was it so loud why was it so loud why was it so loud why was it so loud
Someone pulled the uma up and back into the school. The world's howl dulled enough that it merely thrummed alongside the ringing in her ears, rather than eclipsing it. President Rudolf walked in front of her and said something, only just loud enough to hear that words left her mouth. She looked down the hall, then to the uma, then stood still for a moment. Nothing happened, and so she said something, then ran out the door.
The uma leaned against the wall and slowly slid down, panting heavily, the screams of the world around her still echoing in her ears. What...was that? Umamusume hearing wasn't supposed to be that good, was it? But then, Halo did hear her when she screamed after she won the Nakayama Kinen, didn't she? Was the world always this loud? Aomori was, but she was held in the center of the city. She coiled into a ball. It...it wasn't quiet in Kazamaura, but it didn't hurt her. ...shouldn't it have been quieter, though? There was rarely anything going on when she grew up, right? Just the adults leaving and returning from work, and the bus passing by every few hours. But this time, the sounds of the fishery rumbled deep into the night. She pulled President Rudolf's pen out of her pocket, turning it as the light reflected off it.
Was the entire world like this? Did she have to choose between going back to being locked up in a cage in Kazamaura or living life like this? Would they even employ umamusume there? Could she work in Akagawamura? Would they even treat her like a person? There wasn't even a frame of reference; she'd never even seen an umamusume herself until she left for high school. The only one to come from there doesn't even exist in the records outside the village beyond a footnote in one other, more successful, yet still completely forgotten umamusume's career. The only proof of her existence is an old, faded ink painting framed in the village hall.
The door opened again, and she looked up. President Rudolf held out a small plastic bag. The uma took it from her in exchange for her pen, and pulled orange ear covers from it. She looked up, and President Rudolf nodded. She ran her fingers on them...they were soft, velvety. Thick. She put one on an ear, and the roar of everyday life dampened. She put on the other, and it became a low rumble. "This one thanks you," she muttered as she clipped them to her hair.
"It is the responsibility of the student council to ensure all umamusume who walk through our doors are given an equal chance of success," President Rudolf said, pride on display in her muffled, but still very loud, words. "Regardless of their circumstances."
...that ideal wasn't entirely effective, but she shouldn't know that yet.
"Now, shall we be off? You sought the pool, yes?" The uma stood up and nodded. President Rudolf opened the door, and the uma stepped out. The rumble grew into a perpetual wave crash, and the uma took a half step back. She breathed in. Placed her hands on her chest. Breathed out. And stepped onto the campus.
The uma walked through the door to the pool and gasped. The amount of lanes in the olympic pool alone was baffling, and the recreational pool was bigger than she imagined. "Like what you see?" President Rudolf said, clearly proud. "Tracen Academy goes above and beyond in all aspects, and this extends to our pools. Should you need to improve your stamina, there is no better place in all of Tokyo."
The uma took a couple steps forward. "Can..." The words hung in her throat. What if she was found out? She wouldn't be able to do anything about it here. Sure, the odds of it happening are practically zero, but... Actually, does she still know how to swim? It's been so long. Would President Rudolf expect her to know how to swim, or would that be too suspicious? But all she knows is that she's from somewhere near Aomori's peninsula, so maybe it's expected? "...this one swim now?" She said, anyway.
President Rudolf looked up at the massive clock on the wall, then the uma's body. "We don't have your measurements yet, so it might not yet be possible," President Rudolf flatly stated. "But we have some standard sizes, if you would like to try those. However, I request you don't run in here."
"That would be great!" She said with unexpected excitement. President Rudolf nodded and walked over to the locker room, though the uma froze a step away from entering. Moving further would be breaking a taboo. Walking back would make everyone suspicious. Staying still would make things worse. She stepped in, as if nothing was wrong, as if she wasn't invading the space of countless umamusume. A hot black hole formed in her belly as too many eyes attached themselves firmly to her. Her skin prickled with the feeling of one thousand needles stabbing into her. She kept walking as if nothing was wrong, her eyes affixed firmly to the back of President Rudolf's head as she poked at her tail to ensure it was still there, that everything didn't go wrong in the worst possible situation just as quickly as it fixed itself in the best possible one.
It was.
"Here you are," President Rudolf said, picking a medium out from the middle of a pile of spare swimsuits and handing it to her. "The changing booths are further in, and the showers are near the entrance. Don't forget to wash before and after you swim; neither the pool nor your hair want what you give them without it. You can swim for fifteen minutes."
"Thank you!" The uma bowed, deeply, and she saw the slightest of smiles forming on President Rudolf's face as she ran into the changing booth. She shut it, locked it, put her hands on her top, pull-
No, she was breaking an even bigger taboo by doing this, wasn't she? The black hole sucked in more of her. She clutched her belly. Just setting foot in here was bad enough; it was clear that the only reason she wasn't thrown out was because President Rudolf was with her. But what about after she changed? She gripped the hem of her top again and pulled it off. She shivered as the humid air stuck to her skin. She was...breaking a taboo. She unbuttoned her pants and tugged them down alongside her panties. She felt her body flush. She pulled her bralette over her head. This was horrible of her. She kicked her shoes off, then stuck her socks in them. Took off the ear covers, wincing at the echoed conversations, the drops of water, the not-too-distant sounds of flesh smacking water.
All that's left is...she picked up the swimsuit and stepped into it, pulling it up to her hips, wincing at the feeling of latex or whatever it is scraping against her skin as she struggled to pull it higher. She grabbed her tail and pushed it through the hole. Then again, as a cluster of hairs refused to make their way through. Then again, and she angled the ones that didn't so they at least wouldn't stick out. Pulled it up further, thankfully with much less effort and without her hairs stabbing her, slipped her arms through the holes, and put it on all the way. She tugged at it a little, stretching it out at a few places, making it as comfortable as something demanding she slim down her hips could be.
She breathed in deep as she bundled up her loose clothes. It's fine, nothing is going to happen. She opened the door and slowly, cautiously, walked out. Past the storage shelves, past President Rudolf, past a mirror that reflected a perfectly normal umamusume that she wouldn't bat an eye at on the street, past everyone looking not at her, but much more ordinary things, until at last she reached the shower. She turned it on, and as the lukewarm water poured on her, she couldn't help but grin.
She turned the shower off and walked - not ran - to the recreational pool and dived into the deep end. It was warm, it was that thick kind of wet only pool water was, it was perfect, it was...
...it was weirdly heavy. She kicked up to the surface, breathing deep as she floated in place. Was it always like this? Or was she just less fit, now? But that wasn't possible, was it? Even an unfit uma was able to run circles around most humans. She leaned her head onto the surface and pushed her upper torso out of the water as she kicked herself back. So it must be something else. She dipped her forehead underwater and found herself already at the opposite end of the pool. Much stronger than a human, she sighed. That must be why this pool is empty save for her. She grabbed the ledge and awkwardly pulled herself upright, her hair pulling-
Her hair was the problem. She grabbed some of it and pulled it out of the water. Water fell from it, poured when she squeezed it, but it was still deceptively heavy. Would...would it be bad if she cut it? Not too much, maybe just to her neck. Or maybe her chin? Special Week wore her hair well at that length. A giggle escaped from her lips. Halo would never let her live it down if she cut off so much hair that she looked like her. Even when it was expected that her hair be kept short, she still got a scolding when she cut it too close to her chin. They even had the same colour hair, now. Halo might not look at her when they talk until it grows back out. She gently kicked off the wall.
Halo...she needed to see her soon. She...she couldn't tell her the truth, but she could at least console her. Tell her the things she's always wanted to tell her. Her chest contracted. Why was she even swimming? She could do that later. There are more important things she should be doing. She swam to the edge and pulled herself out. But where would she even find her?
When she got back to the shelf she stored her clothes, a carefully folded tracksuit stood in place of what she was wearing, a note placed atop it. 'Your clothes had something gross on them. Put the swimsuit in the towel bin and wait for me outside. - Symboli Rudolf'
...they seemed fine to her. She sighed as she picked up the basket. But it wasn't like she had much of a choice. She wasn't going to go outside in something that's fighting her form. At least it was easier to get out of it than it, and the track uniform actually fit. Or, at least, the only issue was the pant legs being too long, but she could stuff those in her shoes. She sighed, following the instructions, walking down the changing room, stopping at the mirror to hold her hair behind her head so it looked chin length. She looked cute like this. Less so when it reached a much more familiar shoulder length. Maybe the middle of the neck was a good compromise? ...no, this looks bad, too. She sighed and dropped her hair. Now wasn't the time. She walked out of the room, out the building, and looked around. President Rudolf wasn't around. But-
Her vision whited out for the briefest of seconds. Finely brushed curly brown hair. Royal blue ear covers, a green bow, a regal stride matched only by the Emperor herself.
It was her. Out of every person in Tracen, she was the one that passed by her. The uma's heart pounded in her chest. It was too early. She ran up to Halo, just a few steps behind her. She wasn't ready for this, she needed time to prepare, she-
She needed to do this right now.
"...Halo?" The uma called, reaching her hand out. King Halo whipped around so fast her tail hit her body with a thump. She looked up at Inoue's height, smiling far bigger than when she won the Tenno Sho, a half-formed word already leaving her mouth.
And then, nothing. Her ears, her smile, even her posture dropped with her gaze, until her eyes locked firmly on the person not flinching, but looking right at her. Not Trainer Inoue, not a man, not even a human. Her tail swished back and forth. Just a fellow uma.
"Who are you?" She demanded, and the uma stood up straighter. "My name is King Halo, not 'Halo'. Should you wish to give me a nickname, call me King. You would do well to remember that."
The uma nodded. It...probably wouldn't be easy to call her that, after so long. But the only way she could call Halo by her name again was to reveal everything. She couldn't. Her eyes watered. She can't. She stepped closer to her. "This one's name is Starry Nova. This one is here..." She choked back a sob. She couldn't tell her. "This one is here because they were the last person to see Inoue." Halo's ears twitched, raising just a little. "This one know he means a lot to you, so they want you to know." She lowered her head. She couldn't tell her. "He truly did love you. You were the closest thing to meaningful family he's ever had." She took one, two more steps, brushing up against Halo. "He told this one that if he didn't have you as his trainee, he wouldn't have made it so long." She clung to the sides of Halo's uniform in a facsimile of a hug. She couldn't tell her. "He wanted this one to thank you. You meant the world to him." Tears fell from her face as she breathed through her mouth. She couldn't tell her, but if anyone, Halo needed to know.
"...is this supposed to help?" Halo asked, as tears of her own fell on Nova's bowed head. "'You mean the world to me, Halo! But I'm killing myself and not telling you!' And now you're telling me he couldn't even tell me how much he cared himself, but had to send a messenger?!" She laughed a broken, pained laugh. "That what, sending his share of my race winnings to my bank account out of the blue makes me more important to him than some random girl he came across?!" Halo panted, her body shaking with each breath. "How great I must be, to have someone I love declare me his 'family' and then not even tell me he was in pain!" She held Nova in that same mockery of intimacy as she cried. "How much did he resent me for not being Special Week? He wouldn't have killed himself if he trained her, right? How bad did I hurt him by not being good enough?" She couldn't tell her the truth, not in a way that she would actually believe. Not without telling her everything. That was out of the question. She would never be able to tell her. There was no choice.
"Halo," she said with the same inflection as when she did something to cheer her up. It came out cracked, half-buried underneath mucus, but Halo reacted all the same. "I need to-"
"Don't you dare call me Halo!" She shoved Nova off her, sending her stumbling back several feet before she finally hit the asphalt. "My name is King!" She screamed, gasping for breath. "Only one person is allowed to call me Halo, and he is dead!" King Halo took one final look at her, then ran off.
She watched her run away, slower than she does after their fights, with her ears turned back. It would be so easy to call out. All she would have to do is breathe in, then cry out.
But she didn't. She watched until King Halo was no longer visible. She watched her daughter run off, and she said nothing.
She pulled herself up and turned around to see President Rudolf looking at her. She looked away, staggering to something to lean against, and sat down. Brought her knees to her chest. Wrapped her arms around her legs. Buried her face away from the sight of everyone else.
Sobs broke from Starry Nova's mouth.