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Caterina
1 Justinian 9:22
It took a week to eradicate House Velardo completely.
A week of frantic research, sleepless nights, and so much death. I almost felt regretful when I killed the last of them. It was a man, as old as I was, though to his disadvantage, not nearly as skilled as I. Then it was done; I could go home and try to pick up the pieces. No. I couldn't. The life I once knew is gone now. We had to try to find a new way forward. One that would keep the only two surviving family members safe.
They are both still so young, but the best way to keep them safe is to start their training now. I’ll need to keep them separate from the other fledglings for now, which means I can take more control of their training. I can make them sharper than the rest, deadlier, the perfect Crows. I didn't expect much reaction from either of them when I announced the plan over dinner, but they did at least agree. Or rather, Lucanis did quietly while Illario just continued the same dead-eyed stare as he had all week. I suppose at six years old, it’s much more understandable to be lost in grief. I didn't have that luxury.
I mustered a smile, trying to reassure them, before remembering the distance that I needed to create for their own good. A distance driven by shame and guilt, yes, but also one with a purpose.
I, their nonna, had failed. I hadn't been able to keep any of them safe. But. I Caterina Dellamorte, First Talon of the Antivan Crows, could make their safety the driving goal of everything.
Lucanis
Nonna, I mean, Caterina has been telling me to write this for months. I've been trying, but I'm not good at remembering these things. Especially when I've only had sad things to write about, that's why I couldn't bring myself to write to you all week. Everyone is gone. It’s just me and Illario left. It's taken months, my mama and papa went first, but I really thought that the three tìos and tìa left would be able to stop the bad house. That evil house.
Caterina says they are gone now and that they won't be able to hurt us anymore. There’s no one left for them to hurt. But still, at least training will be more interesting than sitting here and watching Illario cry about his parents. I've done my crying. I don't think I've got any tears left.
Illario
Mamá & Papá,
I know they all want me to write in this. They said it would help with the pain, but I didn't want to. This isn't real. I want things to go back to last week…
I miss you. Please come back,
-Your son.
Caterina
9 Kingsway 9:22
I had known the first few months would be the most challenging as we all tried to adjust, but I still hadn't expected the reaction to one of the rules I instilled.
I had decided early that there shouldn't be any more toys for either of them. My reasoning was simple, their childhoods were already over – how could they not be when they had lost everybody they loved? Far better I thought to focus on training and to introduce things to help them with that. They'd been excited at first, but they had quickly grown bored of small weapons and lock picks.
Lucanis was worse, always carrying around the stuffed wyvern from his parents. Illario joined him, and many of our early training session were observed by a lion and the wyvern. I didn't want to take either of them away, they were both obviously using them for a support, but that could not be allowed to continue. I didn't even take them far, but the sobs from both of them have haunted me all day. We barely managed any training after that.
Their shouts of joy when they returned to their room to find the animals waiting for them was not nearly as reassuring for me.
I will not let them be weak.
In any way.
Caterina
13 Harvestmere, 9:24
Today, we began honing Lucanis’s magic sensitivity.
He has been showing signs of discomfort around mages and magic for some time. And while I am a little ashamed to say how long it has taken me to realize exactly what it meant, I do see how useful it could be. Sensitivity to the Fade is rare, but not unheard of. It could make him incredibly dangerous, eventually. Right now, however, it will just involve slightly altered games of hide-and-seek, and I would imagine some pain.
He had been excited last night when I explained quite how rare a skill it was and how he'd be able to help deal with some of the mages in Teviner; in the end, he agreed. However, I suspected that after he emerged from one of the training rooms, pale, shaking, and eyes streaming, he might have come to regret his decision.
No matter. Blood magic next.
Lucanis
Today did not go as planned.
I probably should have expected that.
Caterina said there would be a little discomfort, that I should use my gift to find the mages concealed in the large training room. But almost as soon as I began, they worked out how to make the pain even worse. It was like small needles were being jabbed into my eyes.
But as I was struggling through my pain, the two mages (one lightning and one fire) had announced smugly that they weren't even trying to fight back and that I needed to experience every type of magic before I could learn more.
I did manage to find both of them by the end of the day, but that was only after I’d spent hours barely able to move because of the pain. I had realized that the two types of magic felt different. Lightning crackled and exploded one moment and then disappeared the next. Whereas fire roared, and it somehow felt thicker and angrier. The fire mage was easy to find, but I could not catch the lightning mage until he made a mistake. His parting words, as I tried and failed to stop my arms trembling, sounded annoyed but still filled me with the dread that was so obviously intended. The blood mage would be here tomorrow.
Mierda.
Illario
Perhaps my reaction of panic last night, to finding out that Lucanis was receiving special training while I did not, came too early. Judging by the state he was in when he emerged from the training room, I think I ought to be quite pleased I am not involved in that; he can suffer for all I care. At least I get the dubious pleasure of Caterina’s undivided attention for once.
Lucanis still looked awful even after he said the pain had stopped. The color in his face hadn’t returned, and he barely managed to drink the cioccolata calda I snuck in him. Caterina told him there was no point in giving him any elf root as treatment, since nothing needed healing. She had just kissed his forehead briefly and told him to find the next mages quicker.
I'm quite glad, I think, looking at it now, that I haven't got any incredibly rare talents and that I can become a Crow based purely on my own skill.
Caterina
20 Cloudreach 9:27
The estate has always had multiple small houses for various members of staff and their families. After the events of 9:22, it felt necessary to remove this option. I will not have any of the staff fall victim to another of my overly ambitious attempts on my life. I ordered the removal of all of them, save one. I had a feeling at the time that it could be useful, and now, nearly 5 years later, it has proven itself.
I had spent the last two days preparing it with one of the Dellamorte mages, and after both boys were stripped to check for anything that could assist, we locked them inside.
***
2 Bloomingtide 9:27
It took them 13 days to escape. 13 days without food and just enough water to survive. They both looked half dead as they’d stumbled in from the front door, but I couldn't decide if I was more disappointed or furious with them for not paying enough attention to their training in the weeks before. If they weren't going to listen, this exercise evidently needed to be repeated.
Lucanis
No. I don't want to “sit and reflect on what we did wrong”.
How did Illario seem to think that just because he had managed to smuggle in a single lock pick, he had already played his part, and that the lock should be my responsibility?!
I spent the first 3 days trying carefully to avoid the magic that was so delicately woven into the lock! Only for it to shatter on the 4th day and manifest into two spirits of Challenge. Ridiculous.
At least they led us deeper into the house. They told us we needed to go further in to get out, and after separating us, they locked us both in rooms that required us to work together to break out. After we had eventually found our way out, Illario practically collapsed at Caterina's feet. Instead of warmly congratulating us on completing the trial, she immediately criticized us.
Her training will be the death of us both.
Illario
Well, I think that went as badly as it could have gone.
They found everything else on me that I tried to secretly hide to help, except for one half of the lock-picking kit I had tried to build into my boot. Lucanis didn't even try to bring anything. It seemed only fair that he should be the one to use the kit then. I’d known it wouldn't be as simple as just one lock, but I hadn't expected the blood mage to trap spirits. Already weak from hunger, it took the two of us 10 days to complete the tasks to a level they deemed acceptable.
After Caterina had stopped shouting and the healer had checked us over, we were finally allowed to eat. Only something small and light. It felt like torture; I was still so hungry. Lack of food had never been a part of our training before, but the look in Caterina’s eyes as she watched us both was not reassuring.
Caterina
28 Haring 9:30
Training offered an unexpected but valuable lesson today. Illario, I'm sure, would disagree. They were sparring with at least three opponents when suddenly there was a loud crack, and he shouted in pain. I could tell instantly that he'd dislocated his right elbow, and it might even be broken. Everything stopped immediately, and Illario looked right at me, clearly hoping for sympathy or a break from training. I didn't give either. This was an excellent chance to add some realism to their training. Both he and Lucanis needed to see that, despite their best efforts, they could still be the weaker fighters at times — and that they would need to find a way to come out on top. I wouldn't settle for less.
I told them all to keep going. Reminded Illario that he has two arms and should be just as capable of fighting with the other. That has always been part of the plan, as is, I guess, learning to ignore the pain of a broken bone and surviving.
Lucanis
It certainly wasn't a lesson I needed. I doubt Illario did either.
Our bloody family history had practically forced us to learn that sometimes strength wasn't enough. A family history we’d learned not to mention. She had her own way of dealing with the grief of losing 14 family members over six months, and Illario and I had ours. One that did not involve nearly as much anger as hers obviously did.
Illario did break a bone. He won't shut up about how he managed to defeat two of his opponents and bring the third to a standstill with one hand. He was very good at adapting to things going wrong, I have to admit. It was apparently an important skill for a Crow to have. As was the ability to make an executable plan that didn't need any adapting.
Because meeting her impossible standards wasn’t difficult enough already.
Illario
It had felt like the punishment I’d been waiting for days. It was a little harsh, maybe, but this was Caterina.
I’d snuck out of the villa to visit some friends at the fledgling house, but Caterina caught me as I was sneaking back in. I half-expected her to bring out the cane right then and there, but instead, she launched into a detailed interrogation about how I managed to sneak out, where I had gone, and whether I thought I could do it again. She ended by telling me that I obviously needed more practice with stealth and infiltration.
Caterina even smiled at me as she handed me the elf-root. Just briefly, but I saw it. Praise from her was rare—much like affection or comfort. She'd quite obviously shut herself off from such trivial things as emotions years ago. But the lesson clearly meant more to her than either Lucanis or I had realized. Even trying to fight with a broken wrist only made the injury worse.
Caterina
5 August 9:33
They’ve done it. They had passed all of the trials and completed the first contract. They were now fully fledged Crows. A mage killer and a spy and seduction expert.
I knew that many of my actions with them must have seemed cruel, but that had never been my intention. I could only hope that now they were working as Crows that the hatred and resentment in their eyes would start to fade and they would understand.
Understand why there had been a tear in my eye as they earned their wings, and why All of the rumours about the two surviving Dellamorte grandchildren filled Me with such a sense of pride. A certain level of notoriety was never a bad thing in Antiva—especially if it helped keep them safe.